The House of Roses (38 page)

“
I've been alone for a long time. My daughter Erica thinks I need to go on a date.”

“
Do you?”

“
I don't know.”

“
Do you want to go on a date with me?” Maria asked, and Nathan smiled.

“
Yes.”  There. He'd said it.

“
Okay. I'd like that.”

“
I don't know where it would go, Maria. I'm an honest guy, so I want to be truthful with you. I haven't dated since college. I married my wife the week after we graduated.”

“
I understand. Let's go on a date, and we'll just see.”

“
We'll just see,” Nathan said, sounding as though he was beginning to relax. Maria reached out her hand, and gingerly Nathan took it. The connection felt good. It felt good to touch someone, to do something as simple as hold her hand.

“
What was she like?” Maria asked gently.

“
My wife?” Nathan asked, and Maria nodded. “She was lovely. She was a wonderful person. She was bright, and beautiful, and everyone loved her, and she loved everyone. I'm a better person because I knew her.”

“
I'm sorry about what happened. Cate told me. I'm hope you're not angry.”

“
No. It's not a secret.”  Nathan had no idea what to say or do, but he liked this woman. He wanted to know more about her. “What do you want, Maria?  What do you want out of life?” he asked bravely.

“
I want a family. I didn't think I did. I didn't have a good example at home. My mom was totally dependent on my dad. He left when I was fifteen, and my mom drank herself to death. I can't believe I am telling you this stuff. Almost no one in my life knows about any of that. I've just put it behind me.”

“
Maybe not as much as you think,” Nathan said gently.

“
Maybe not. Caitlin says I always pick the wrong men, and maybe I do. Maybe I get myself into relationships I know won't work because then I never have to take them to the next level. I used to be terrified of that, of any type of commitment. I don't even keep friends long. Caitlin is my best friend, and the longest decent relationship I've ever had with another human being.”

“
Are you still terrified?”

“
No. I want to build a life with someone. I don't want someone who's dependent on me, and I don't need to rely on someone else. I just want to build something together, to be together, to take care of each other.”

“
That's a nice thing to want.”

“
It feels good to want something like that. I always thought it would be so complicated to want something like that, but it feels simple.”

“
It is, but it takes work.”

“
I know that now. I'd like to work for something worthwhile. You're a good guy, and a damn good listener. I like you, Nathan.”

“
I like you, too.”  Nathan did. He really liked the woman who was his cousin's best friend, and he silently thanked the fates, and whatever act of God it had taken to bring her to New Hope, and into his life.

“
I wonder if Caitlin's all right. I'm worried about her,” Maria said. Rogan had begun to fuss, and she gently took him from the stroller, and laid him against her shoulder.

“
I know. I'm worried, too,” Nathan said.

***

Caitlin was
not
all right. She had no idea how to feel about what had happened. She had seen Colin. Again. She wanted to tell him, and it felt unfair to see him in a crowd with his infant children only a few feet away. She would tell him Monday, as she'd originally planned.

She felt equally heartbroken about the woman, and her little girl. Caitlin recalled standing in the window the morning after the twins' birth. She hadn't wanted Colin to be with the woman, but she would have never wished her any harm. The woman was dying, and Caitlin began to tremble as she imagined the horror of it. What was it like to know you were dying?  What inner strength did she call upon to face leaving her child?  As much as Caitlin hurt for herself, she hurt more for the dying woman, and tears of sympathy slid down her face as she sat for ten more minutes on the old stone bench. 

Finally she found the willpower to rise, and her eyes immediately scanned the surrounding area for any sign of Colin. She didn't see him. He had been swallowed up by the crowd, or perhaps he had left, taking his ill friend, and her daughter with him. She was so proud of him. In the few minutes they'd spoken, she'd seen a side of him she never had.

There was a softness there, and fear, something he had rarely shown her. It made him seem more human, more vulnerable, the way loving him made her feel. 

Her cell phone vibrated in her hand, and Caitlin jumped. She opened the phone and read the text message from Maria. Slowly, with little purpose, Caitlin walked toward the diner. Her feet moved, but she felt listless, almost lethargic, and the coffee she'd shared with Colin seemed to churn in her stomach.

She stopped for a moment in front of the huge plate glass window that separated passersby from the patrons in the diner. She felt like an intruder, or some kind of pathetic Peeping Tom, as she watched Maria and Nathan at a table in the farthest corner of the diner. She watched Maria with Rogan on her shoulder. She was laughing, and Nathan was smiling at her. They looked happy, and they made life look simple. It wasn't. Caitlin pushed the diner door open, amazed at how heavy it felt. She took several steps inside and stopped. The air felt stagnant, and for a moment she couldn't breathe. Everything around her took on an abstract appearance. She tried to speak, but no words would come. She watched Nathan, watched fear register on his face. Maria rose, still holding Rogan, and the two began to walk toward her. They were talking, but she couldn't hear them over the sudden roaring in her head. They had nearly made it to her side, when Caitlin Goodrich fainted. 

Forty-three

Rita Hollings shook her head in exasperation. She complained to whomever was listening, and Nathan Parker and Maria Sands were the lucky parties.

“
I thought I was done having to keep my eye on that girl every minute. She's out of my sight for less than an hour, and she busts her head. How did this happen?” Rita complained, and Maria and Nathan exchanged a glance.

“
She fainted, Rita,” Maria said.

“
People faint,” Nathan agreed.

Caitlin opened her eyes. She was in a tent, but had no idea how she'd gotten there. She closed her eyes again, feigning sleep, and listened.

“
She fainted in the diner?” Rita asked.

“
Yeah. We both witnessed the whole thing, Rita,” Nathan said. The exchange sounded like a court trial, and Caitlin forced herself not to laugh.

“
Did she eat something bad?  Were you drinking?”

“
She was with Colin,” Maria said, defensively.

“
Who?”

“
Colin,” Nathan said, “the father of her....”

“
I know who Colin is. What the hell was he doing here?”

“
It's a public place,” Nathan said, and Maria laughed.

“
Don't be a smart ass, Noonie. I am trying to figure out what happened.”

“
Maybe she was upset, Rita,” Maria said, glancing at Nathan who appeared afraid to speak. Rita could be a force to be reckoned with at times. “Noonie?” Maria questioned, and Nathan waved her off with his hand.

“
Would someone please tell me what happened to my daughter, from the beginning!” Rita nearly shouted.

“
Ask her,” Caitlin said, as she struggled to sit upright.

“
Easy does it,” Nathan said, moving immediately to her side. He put his arm around her, and Caitlin leaned against him.

“
My head is killing me,” Caitlin whined

“
It should hurt. You took out a dinette set with it,” Maria said, and Rita rolled her eyes

“
What happened, Cate?” Rita said, sitting beside her daughter in a folding chair.

“
I don't know. I saw Colin, and I talked to him, and he kissed me, and I was really confused, and I thought I was going to puke up the coffee I had, and then I saw Nathan and Maria with the babies, and they looked like this perfect family, and it made me feel funny, and then everything pretty much went black.”

“
Good Lord,” Rita said, taking Caitlin's hand.

“
No kidding. Wasn't she an English major?” Maria said, and Nathan laughed.

“
That was the run on sentence of the century, Caitlin,” Nathan added. Rita threw a glance at the two hecklers that seemed to convey doom, and they both fell silent.

“
Please, you two. This is serious. Caitlin, what am I going to do with you?”

“
I don't know, Mom. Maybe I could take a refresher class in Grammar.”  Nathan started to laugh, and then stopped, as Rita looked at him sternly.

“
Sorry,” he mouthed.

“
This isn't funny, Cate.”

“
It's kind of funny, Mom.”

“
It is kind of funny, Rita,” Nathan said.

“
Nathan, stop!” Rita said, and Nathan did as asked.

“
I don't know whether to laugh or cry. Laughter feels better,” Caitlin said.

“
It usually does,” Nathan said, earning himself another glance. “She seems fine, Rita, and if she wants to laugh at this, we should let her. You have to admit, this girl has had the week from hell,” Nathan said, in Caitlin's defense.

“
That's an understatement,” Caitlin groaned. “Can we go home, Mom.?”

“
I'll take you home. We can talk in the car,” Rita said.

“
Maria can go with me,” Nathan offered.

“
Where are the twins?” Caitlin asked.

“
We left 'em in the diner,” Maria said, and Rita swatted her.

“
They're with Erica and Becca, and Becca's mom,” Nathan said. “They're fine.”

“
You kissed him?” Maria asked.

“
Yeah.”

“
How'd that go?” Maria asked, more out of concern than curiosity.

“
About like you'd think, given that I passed out and bashed my head. Mom, please take me home. I need frozen corn,” Caitlin said.

“
You hungry, Cate?” Maria asked.

“
Truthfully, yes, but frozen corn is the best thing for head injuries.”

“
I'd never heard that one,” Nathan said, arching a brow.

“
It's frozen, and the bag conforms nicely to your head.”

“
Ah, gotcha,” Nathan said, as he helped Caitlin to stand. She wobbled only slightly, and didn't refuse the arm Rita offered.

“
You're worn out, Cate. You're going to eat and ice that noggin of yours and I am on baby duty again tonight,” Rita said, and Caitlin started to object. “You're not arguing with me,” Rita demanded, and Caitlin gave in reluctantly.

“
I do need to get off my feet,” Caitlin admitted.

“
You do, Cate, but please try not to hurt yourself this time,” Rita said.

***

Caitlin opened her eyes to find the world around her had grown dark. A soggy bag of frozen corn lay on the chaise lounge beside her. She was on the porch, and could hear sounds coming from inside the house. Rogan was crying. She pushed herself to a sitting position, stood carefully, and steadied herself with the porch railing. Her head felt like someone had hit it with a wrecking ball, but she felt lonely and detached, and needed the company more than the rest. That need propelled her into the kitchen.

“
Pizza,” she said, as the glorious aroma filled her nostrils. “How long did I sleep?” she asked, and Rita looked at the clock.

“
A couple of hours,” Rita said. “Do you feel better?”

“
My head hurts like hell,” Caitlin said, and Rita shook hers.

“
I'm glad Stan was on hand to look you over,” Rita said, grateful for the doctor who had also been her friend for years.

“
I guess if you're gonna knock yourself out, it's handy if your mother is good friends with the local medical staff.”

“
He said you'll be fine, but he agreed you're overdoing it. I told him you've been spending a lot of time running back and forth to Manhattan,” Rita said, as Caitlin sat beside her.