The House (39 page)

Anna spent Thanksgiving following Edward’s death with Linda and Brad in Los Angeles. At Anna’s invitation, Bryce accompanied her on what she termed a working vacation during which he could bring her up to speed on more matters involved in the running of Manning Ventures. For Bryce, whose mother had died when he was in college, the request offered the perfect excuse to see Serine, Anna’s secondary motive for asking him along.

After Thanksgiving dinner Anna, Bryce, Serine, and Brad asked Linda to play her violin. Linda had confessed to having returned to playing the instrument after performing at the gravesite.

“It was beautiful, what you played,” Anna said as Linda opened her case on Thanksgiving day. Her stomach round and full with life, she had yet to deliver.

“It soothes me,” Linda said upon lifting the wooden instrument, with its European finish smooth and clear, from the case.

Anna said, “Your father was so excited when he found it in Austria. I remember the day he called me.” Anna’s heart grew full, her chest warm. Linda embraced her. Only then did Anna realized herself about to cry.

“I feel he hears me when I play,” Linda whispered.

“It’s how we talk, how I remain close to him.” Anna squeezed her daughter’s hand and patted her stomach.

During the family’s mini concert, Bryce reached for Serine’s hand, and Serine let it rest in Bryce’s palm. Anna grew hopeful as Linda played.

Later that night, Anna joined Serine in the kitchen for a late night snack.

“I see I’m not the only one hungry,” Anna said on entering.

“Oh, I’m making a sandwich for Linda.” Serine continued to cut one more slice of turkey then spread mayonnaise over the bread. “She’s hungry again. And Brad was asleep. I told her I’d make it and bring it up.”

“That’s good. You’re not eating, and since I hate eating alone, I have less incentive to snack.”

“It’s all healthy,” Serine looked up from the sandwich that she had placed on the plate.

“But I’m not getting any younger.” Anna patted her abdomen. She needed to get back to exercising. Better yet, find a new gym. Memories of Inman, filled the one in Amory Village down from the house.

“You look fine.” Serine slid the pan containing the turkey back onto the top shelf of the refrigerator then closed the door. “You can’t imagine how the mothers of some of my colleagues look. You’re way ahead of them.” Her words were sweet and comforting, encouraging.

Anna drew near. “Thank you.”

Serine looked to her. Anna met the gaze of her youngest daughter. Serine’s accusation came to mind.
I can’t believe you sat across

from him for fifteen months and never noticed how sick Daddy was, that he was dying. Or did you know and not care?

“I’m sorry for abandoning you, not calling to check up on you while your father and I were divorcing,” Anna said.

“You were going through a lot.” Serine returned to the counter, was about to lift the plate holding the sandwich she had made for Linda when Anna again drew near. “I should not have pushed you away. Perhaps if I had been there, this mess with Grant and Matthew would have never—”

“I’m a grown woman. And I knew better.” Petite and inches shorter than Anna, Serine was penitent.

“Why did you do it?”

“I was angry and scared. You and Daddy were divorcing. I couldn’t hold onto the lie.”

“What lie was that?”

“That he loved you. I mean truly loved you.”

The truth of Serine’s words hit Anna’s face and burned her cheeks.

“Daddy cared for you. He gave us all we ever needed. And he took care of us, and you. But he never gave of himself.”

“He was hurting. Your father carried a lot that he just couldn’t shar—”

“That maybe. And believe me I love him. But I don’t want to die like him. That’s where my life was headed, and where I was going with Grant and Matt.”

“Surely you’re not going to refuse to let yourself grow close to someone, send people away, those who might love you.”

“Both Grant and Matt loved me,” Serine said. “But I couldn’t love them.”

“Why not?” Anna felt hope slipping away.

Serine breathed in. “I don’t know. It’s going to take some time figuring that out.” Serine grew somber then, “I’m just thankful for Bryce.”

“Oh?” Anna remained calmed against a surge of hope.

“He told me a lot about Daddy in those last two years. Bryce and I’ve been talking a lot. He wants to talk, and I’m eager to hear. I need to hear of the man Dad truly was.”

“What sort of things is he saying?” Anna grew anxious.

Again Serine grew reflective. Her gaze receded as if recalling Bryce’s words, and she, while appreciative of Bryce’s sharing, also regretful.

“They’re not things you would want to hear, nor do you need to.” The attorney in Serine spoke, not unlike Grant, what Anna surmised Serine had inherited from him during her time working under his tutelage. “Hold onto the Edward that you know. But I’m a person of truth. Neither will I stop loving him.” Anna’s youngest daughter grew wistful. “Call it compassion. But learning about the real Edward Manning helps me love him more.”

Serine’s words moved Anna. They also reflected Anna’s need for illusions. Softly, she kissed Serine’s cheek then said, “Your sister needs her sandwich.”

Serine kissed Anna then headed for the doorway. On reaching it she turned back and said, “You’re a good person.” She then left.

Once again Anna stood pondering the shifts and changes Ed ward’s life and death had wrought.

Accepting David’s invitation to spend Christmas with him and Heather in Detroit provided Anna more encouragement and evidence of her children’s ability to move beyond their father’s death. It also left Anna feeling somewhat guilty of having ignored Theo and Millicent. Anna coaxed herself to remember that Inman had been with them for Thanksgiving. By way of Linda, she had also learned that Inman’s daughter, Dancia, would be accompanying him to Chicago for Christmas. Inman needed time and space to introduce his daughters to each other. Christmas would be their first time meeting. Inman would finally tell them the truth.

On Christmas Eve, Anna spoke to Theo privately. “How are things with Millicent and Dancia?” she asked.

“It’s slow going,” Theo said, the energy of hope filling his voice. “They’re warming to each other. The prospect of the twins helps. That and the fact that Inman keeps emphasizing that he met Henrietta
before
marrying Dancia’s mother.”

“I hope Dancia remembers that fact when considering Inman’s annual trip to a July business conference—the guise he used when visiting Millicent in Chicago,” Anna said.

Inman’s concerns that Dancia would level negative judgment upon his past actions reminded Anna of how she had, during those last weeks of Elena’s life, thought of her father. Anna had concluded the Reverend Elijah to have been unfaithful. Now having heard Inman’s story, having gained another perspective on how human individuals log these clandestine occasions into the filing cabinets of our hearts and minds, Anna wondered of the phenomenon of unfaithfulness, the experience of infidelity, and also the act of betrayal. Anna considered herself having been unfaithful to Edward. More than that she had lied to herself when asking for the divorce. Anna had betrayed herself and her heart, all that she believed and hoped when declaring that her love for Edward had died, and was no more.

Again Bryce accompanied Anna for her holiday travels. The two arrived for Christmas at David and Heather’s home in Detroit, and found Serine already present. David eagerly welcomed Anna seeing to her every need, and what he thought she might desire.

After dinner David came to Anna and quietly stated he had received the deed to the house. “I own it in name only,” he emphasized. “In my heart it will always be yours. I speak for everyone else.”

Anna’s smile, and gracious “Thank you,” did little to comfort him.

Later that night, the children, Heather, Serine, and Bryce in bed and the house quiet, he suggested, “Why don’t you just buy it back from me. For $1? I’ll even give you the dollar.” Anna and David had been sitting on the couch, the fireplace aglow before them and casting warmth upon their legs.

“That’s not what your father wanted,” Anna said.

“And we know Dad was having a hard time of it those last few weeks.”

“You forget,” Anna said. “Your father made out his will months before he died.” She reached over and touched David’s hand, which was trembling like his lips.

“I want you to be happy. I
need
you to be happy,” he whispered.

“I am happy,” Anna said. David felt heartily sorry for how he behaved. But like many men and
women
, he did not know how to ask for forgiveness.

“The house,” he continued. “It’s yours. It belongs to y—”

Anna placed her forefinger upon his lips.

“This is what gives me joy.” She turned to the Christmas tree decorated with white lights flashing and standing by the window. She then pointed to the stockings hanging from the mantle over the fireplace. Anna had brought five with her, one for David and Heather’s children, Emily and Josh, two more for David and Heather, and one also for Bryce. Seeing Serine present, she had rushed out to the mall and purchased a sixth that she filled with bath gel and Godiva chocolates for her youngest.

“I’m your mother and always will be,” Anna said to David. “I’ll always love you. No matter what. Don’t ever forget that.”

David breathed in. His hands began to tremble as he held back tears.?

Chapter 57

Anna and Bryce remained with David until the New Year, then returned to Oakland. By the end of January, Anna was back in Los Angeles, this time for the birth of Edward Manning Oliver, Linda and Brad’s first child and Anna’s third grandchild. Life picked up speed in early March when Millicent gave birth to Anna Hayes Manning and Inman Regarde Manning. Anna allowed Inman time to visit with them before she scheduled her trip to see Theo, Millicent, and the twins at the end of March.

Two days before she was to leave for Chicago, she called Theo. He confirmed that Inman was returning to Oakland before she arrived.

Yet when driving her from O’Hare to his and Millicent’s home, Theo carefully pointed out, “He asks about you all the time.”

Anna thought about Inman, too. But Edward had died. And with that had gone much of her hatred toward him. She now held him in compassion, wished for him a better life in the world he had entered, a place she was trying to reach.

Anna did not want to run from the hurts of her marriage with Edward, and those she had felt while watching him die in her arms. Neither did she want to sulk and give way to feelings of desperation that often overtook her. More times than she cared to admit, particularly to herself, Anna wished for Inman’s arms to wrap her and kiss her neck as he had done on that night in the bedroom of his house atop Grizzly Peak and overlooking UC Berkeley. Yet the longer she remained from him, the more Anna feared losing all hope of life and possibilities of love that the future could deliver.

In her efforts to remain grounded, Anna refused to push away the reality that Inman was Millicent’s father. Much came with that fact, most specifically how Anna had felt about Millicent before learning that not only was Inman her father, but how that came about. Anna would not return to Inman unless she could show him compassion, love and respect for what he had endured as the result of his actions and Henrietta’s. And yet Millicent remained her daughter-in-law, the two of them connected by Theo.

“I haven’t been avoiding you,” Anna said on arriving at Theo and Millicent’s home ten days after the birth of the twins. She felt the need to explain her absence during Thanksgiving and Christmas. “You needed time with your father,” Anna said to Millicent. “And by that I mean Inman.” Anna wanted no confusion. Millicent smiled. Some minutes later, she thanked Anna not only for her ability to give her and Theo space and time to integrate Inman and Dancia into their lives, but also for, “Your honesty.”

In explaining, Millicent said, “Mama and Daddy, Thelonius, can’t get used to me knowing the truth. They’ve held so long to the lie that Thelonius Regarde was my father now that the truth is out they don’t know what to do.”

“But Thelonius is your father,” Anna said. “That’s why I clarified about whom I was speaking in this instance, Inman. There’ll be other times when I say your father and I’ll be speaking of Thelonius.” Millicent looked to Anna. With Inman Regarde nursing at her breast, Millicent had been sitting in the recliner with Anna holding Anna Hayes. Seeing that Inman Regarde, the younger of the twins, had fallen asleep at her nipple, Millicent lifted the infant and asked for his elder sister.

Daughter-in-law and mother-in-law exchanged infants. Millicent settled into nursing Anna Hayes at her other breast, the one over her heart.

With Inman Regarde fast asleep in her arms, Anna smiled upon her granddaughter sucking at Millicent’s breast.

“David always liked sucking from the nipple over my heart.”

“I save this one for Anna,” Millicent smiled knowingly. “Inman doesn’t seem to care. He just wants the milk.”