The House (13 page)

“There’s some tea and water on the patio table.” Glimpsing Ed ward still reading and seemingly unaffected by Serine’s machinations, Anna grew angrier. “I wouldn’t go inside,” she said to Grant. “In fact,
don’t
go inside.” She eyed Serine, whose face swung between imminent rage and fearsome shame. “I need to speak with you,” Anna said to Serine. Turning to Grant, she said, “Excuse me while I borrow my daughter for a moment.”

Inside the house, Serine followed Anna into Theo’s old bedroom. Anna closed the door.

“Care to tell me what’s going on? Or would you rather leave it up to my intuition?” Anna asked.

“Why not your imagination?” Serine smarted.

“Believe me, young lady, my imagination could never have concocted a story of this proportion.”

“Of this proportion?” Serine rocked her head left to right while mimicking Anna. “I’m dealing with this.”

“Don’t give me that. You’re acting like a spoiled teenager rather than a responsible woman soon to be twenty-eight. Is this how you behave as a district attorney?”

“Assistant D.A.,” Serine corrected, “—more to the point, the
assistant
to the
assistant
D.A.”

“Oh, come off of it. And don’t mock me.” Anna bristled.

“Being a district attorney is not all it’s cracked up to be.” Serine meandered into discussing her world.

“Care to tell me why you took the job, or rather how much of you taking the job had to do with your attraction to Grant? I mean the
real
Grant?” Anna’s words had carried a softness her opening question had lacked.

“I like Grant Seifert, but he frightens me.” Serine’s lips trembled. “He wants the whole nine yards, children, the house, commitment, the entire forever thing.”

“But you’re wearing Grant’s engagement ring.” Anna gathered herself. “Does he know about Matt?”

“He does now.” Tears slid down Serine’s face. “I told Grant that I’ve been sleeping with Matt since he gave me the ring.”

“Oh, Serine.” Anna’ heart sank. She felt herself shattering within.

“Oh Serine, what? That I was betraying him or that I told him?”

“How about both?” While Edward had possessed his foibles, he had provided a home and security for which many would have died, if not killed. Anna could not understand Serine’s actions or desires. What did she want or hope to gain from betraying both these men?

Serine said, “I’m not going to stand here and listen to you accuse me of what I’ve already berated and hung myself for.” She moved to leave. Anna grabbed her arm. Serine’s use of the word
hung
hovered in Anna’s mind.

“We can get through this.” Anna said.

“What? Me betraying Matt, and losing Grant, or Daddy dying?”

“All three. It’s better to get these things out now rather than later.”

“You mean after we’re married, me and Grant, so that we won’t become like you and Daddy?” Against anger moving full steam, Serine dried her tears.

“There’s more than Grant to consider in this,” Anna said. “Matt is a nice, young man.”

“He’s just a
fuck buddy
,” Serine spat.

Anna slapped her youngest child’s cheek. Quickly she grasped her lips then astonished at what she had done, murmured through her fingers, “I’m so sorry.”

Weeping once more and trembling, Serine jerked open the door and ran to her room.?

Chapter 16

Without knocking, Anna barged into Serine’s room across the hall. “We’re not finished talking.”

“You don’t
love
Daddy. And you
hate
me. You—” Serine hesitated. Anna breathed in and forced down her hurt and anger as Serine laid out her dilemma. “You didn’t
like
Daddy either. I
like
Grant. I
love
Matt. Problem is I don’t love
and
like either one of them. I want to like
and
love whomever I sleep with. But I
can’t
.” Penitent, Serine slumped onto her bed. Anna felt shameful for having slapped her daughter. Her efforts falling short of answering Serine, Anna then considered Inman and berated herself for giving into her passions and needs. She trudged back to Theo’s room where hollowness engulfed her.

Anna lay upon the bed. Fumbling through remnants of memories. She was deep in thought and holding her arms when after a knock sounded from the door, Linda entered.

“Dad’s not feeling well. Brad’s bringing him up.”

Reaching the landing, Anna saw Brad and Theo helping Edward climb the stairs.

“I’m just tired,” Edward said as if to calm her.

You were only reading
, Anna thought.

She turned to Linda. “Where are Matt and Grant?”

“I’ll see to them.” Linda started downstairs. Serine was still in her room sulking.

Anna went inside the bedroom where Edward lay on the bed. She closed the door as Theo and Brad left, then proceeded to tuck Edward under the covers.

“It’s some mess we’ve gotten ourselves into,” he murmured as she propped his head upon the pillow. “Our children are lost,” he added. “They’re fine,” Anna said. She gave the covers one last pull. “This is not something you can clean away or that can be ironed out in the dryer.” Edward’s words shocked her.

“The way you appeared on the patio seemed to indicate you had full confidence in our children.” She went to the closet and pulled down another pillow.

“I’m a fool,” Edward said. “Or rather, I’ve developed the uncanny ability to convince people I’m stronger or less affected, or that I don’t know any better.”

“Like me.” Anna returned with the pillow hugged to her chest. Edward regarded the pillow. “You could smother me you know? I couldn’t stop you.”

“Was that supposed to be some kind of sick joke?” Stunned, Anna took a moment to register the words, their meaning, and then on bolstering his pillow. “Sit up,” she placed the pillow under his head.

“I’m serious,” Edward egged on while obeying her.

“You want me to smother you and go to jail?” She stepped back. “What good would that do?”

“Maybe get out some of your anger.”

She sighed.

“I just want it to be over,” Edward stated blankly. “Actually, I’m scared.”

“I need to see about Matt and Grant, and dinner.” She walked to the door.

“It’s going to get messy.”

“It’s been messy all along.” Anna turned back.

“Not like now. This time I won’t be coming back.”

Anna wanted to lunge herself upon Edward, shake him and scream, How could you do this? Instead, she pulled the door open, and was about to exit when Edward spoke.

“About Stella and Esther?” The door wide open, Anna slowly turned once more. “They had nothing on you,” he said. Edward’s amber eyes appeared lost and dazed—a feature she had never seen nor associated with the Edward Manning with whom she had be come accustomed. Something had happened over the past year. Anna steeled herself against a torrent of emotions brewing to a boil. “I was scared,” he said. Edward lowered his head.

Anna breathed in the hurt she so wanted to relinquish, feelings of betrayal she had hoped to abandon while moving through The Louvre and The Hermitage museums of Paris and St. Petersburg while viewing the works of art they housed. Calmly, she walked to Edward.

“You were arrogant and self-serving just like our youngest daughter.” Matt’s soft pink face came before her.
I don’t think it’s meant for me to be with your daughter in this lifetime... We won’t relinquish our dreams
. “Your behavior has been abominable,” Anna continued. “It hurt, terribly. Most of all, it affected these children, our children. Your children.”

Edward examined his hands and pulled at his fingers. He still wore his wedding band. A roller coaster of memories reeled across her thoughts. She considered the late night breast-feedings of David, Theo, Linda, and Serine. As infants in her arms, their tiny lips explored her nipples. Edward was either absent or watching from a distance, heated anger writhing within his stare.

“What was it about me becoming a mother?” Anna asked. “What turned you away when I gave birth to your children and loved them?” She had only been trying to give them what she had not received from Elena, and what Violet had lacked, irrespective of her intent toward Edward.
A show of love. Someone
.

“I envied them,” Edward said. The sorrow of his admission over took the room, and ripped away one more layer of the dank, sordid history standing between them.

“You were jealous of them? They were babies, infants—
our
children.” Anna’s chest sank.

“I was jealous of you.” Edward lifted his head. And for a moment, Anna beheld the hurting child he had been when he confronted the doctor with whom Edward’s mother had had a long-standing affair. She recalled Edward’s fury at Violet’s grave site. He had caught the doctor kneeling at Violet’s casket about to be lowered into the ground.

“You killed her,” Edward had said to him. “You killed her more than the drugs you prescribed for her.”

“I loved your mother,” the pale-skinned doctor had said. “You’re a liar. An absolute, fucking, liar.”

“Your mother meant everything to me.”

“Then, why didn’t you marry her?”

“I asked and she refused. She said she could never trust a white man.”

“You’re a goddamn lie!” Edward punched the man and knocked him to the ground.

Anna rushed to Edward and pulled at his arm as others looked on. “We should go,” she whispered.

He pushed her away, his attention fixed upon the doctor lying in the dirt. Placing his foot upon the man’s neck, he riled, “Don’t ever come near my mother’s grave site again. If I suspect, or even wake up from a dream where I see you here, I swear I’ll hunt you down, and kill you, piece by piece.” The same rage that welled in Edward’s eyes that day three decades earlier had swirled in Serine’s when she described Matt as nothing but a sexual toy. Matt’s dream of Edward’s dying body upon the bed came into focus then dissipated.

The memory faded. Settled back in the present moment, Anna took in Edward lying upon the bed. Death was encroaching upon his weak body. He was shriveling. Slowly, she returned to the door, walked through, and pulled it closed.?

Chapter 17

Grant Seifert had removed the jacket to his suit when Anna approached him on the patio. He was standing by the pool with his back to her, his hands pocketed as he observed the water.

“It’s normally full of trash this time of the year,” Anna said on reaching him, “I’m usually biting my nails and trying to decide whether to continue with the weekly cleanings or to close it for the winter.”

Grant turned to her, removed his hands from his pocket, and gave a half chuckle. “My mother always had the same problem.”

“What does she do now?”

“Nothing presently. She’s dead.”

“I’m sorry.” Anna glanced down at the water.

“Don’t be. She’s in a better place.”

Where Matt was soft spoken and direct in his questioning, Grant Seifert wanted to convey that he possessed all the answers. Anna took in Grant’s chiseled, athletic face and wondered had his mother’s death been sudden. “Were you with her when she died?”

“As a matter of fact, I was in Europe. She was in a car accident.” Grant sighed. “It paralyzed her from the neck down. She was on a ventilator.”

“How long did she survive like that?”

“Three days. My plane landed six hours after she died.” A melancholic smile assumed control of Grant’s all-about-business demeanor. His shoulders became curved and human-like rather than square and soldierly as if prepared to fight the enemy of the ubiquitous and ever present criminal. “My father was with her when she passed.”

“That was good,” Anna said, “—that she wasn’t alone.”

The brightness went from Grant’s eyes. Yet they remained sternly attentive. “My mother was a strong woman. What white people term a loner. She kept the truth about herself and who she really was close to her vest.”

A chilly sense of self-recognition rushed through Anna. She lifted her hands to her chest. Realizing what she had done, she let them fall to her sides.

“I don’t know what it is with you women,” Grant said, and then on catching the harshness of his words, “Excuse me, but I need to be frank.” Anna recognized that beyond outward appearances that Grant needed Serine more than the reverse. “Why isn’t it enough for us to love and need you? Why can’t you lean and depend on us, and let us take care of you?”

“Perhaps it’s because too many of us have been let down and disappointed.”

“We’re not all the same.” Grant clinched his jaw. He had connected with Serine’s goodness, what was hidden and protected by her anger.

Anna considered Stella, Esther, and the three or four others with whom Edward had been involved.

“I want to give myself to Serine, all of myself, not parts like that artist fellow.”