Read The Hot Flash Club Chills Out Online

Authors: Nancy Thayer

Tags: #Literature & Fiction, #Contemporary, #Genre Fiction, #Family Saga, #Humor & Satire, #Humorous, #Women's Fiction, #Contemporary Women, #Friendship, #Romance, #Romantic Comedy, #Contemporary Fiction, #Sagas, #General Humor, #Humor

The Hot Flash Club Chills Out (34 page)

BOOK: The Hot Flash Club Chills Out
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Lucinda looked piqued, but replied, “Yes, of course,” before firmly closing her own front door.

54

M
arilyn and Ian decided to be married on Nantucket, because it was such a romantic location, comparable in its way to the Loch Ness area in Scotland where they had first met and walked and talked together.

Shirley, genuinely excited, offered to purchase a giant air-filled dinosaur replica, tie it to the bow of Harry’s boat, and steer the boat back and forth across the water near the beach where Marilyn and Ian would be married. It was a measure of Harry’s commitment to Shirley that he actually agreed to take part in this unusual scenario. Marilyn assured Shirley she appreciated the thought, but insisted she’d rather have Shirley right there, with the others, during the ceremony.

One day, Marilyn took Ian on a picnic on the moors, and they decided that Altar Rock was the perfect spot for their nuptials. As paleobiologists, they felt a connection to this relatively small landscape with its enormous geologic complexity. The low-growing heath plants reminded them both of Scotland. Also, the moors were more private, seldom seen by tourists, and the summit at Altar Rock, with its panorama of rolling green earth and shining blue water, gave them the sense of being on top of the world.

They invited only close family members. Marilyn’s only child, Teddy, and his wife Lila, and their adorable little daughter, Irene, almost three, came. Teddy, who had all the money in the world, assured his mother they would stay in one of Nantucket’s wonderful inns, but Marilyn thought it would be more fun if they stayed in the Orange Street house, and so Shirley, who now spent most of her time and had most of her things out at Harry’s, gladly moved the remainder of her stuff up to one of the tiny, dusty bedrooms in the attic and gave Teddy, Lila, and their little daughter her room with its spectacular view.

Ruth, at eighty-seven, could manage the trip to Nantucket, but needed someone to accompany her, so she traveled with her grandson Teddy and his family to the Orange Street house, where she was given the other twin bed in Polly’s room. Ruth was content to leave her kitten Marie at home for a neighbor to look after.

On Ian’s side, there was Angus, who surprised them all by asking if he could bring his girlfriend Julie down with him. Since Julie was one of the major investors in The Haven, and had once been one of Shirley’s massage clients, all the women knew her, and were thrilled at this little romance that would never have happened if Shirley’s computers hadn’t gone wild. Of course, they told Angus, bring Julie, and when he begged to bring his bulldog Darwin, they agreed to that, too. Angus, Julie, and the bulldog shared another attic bedroom. Angus reminded his father he had once had bagpipe lessons, and asked if he might provide the music for the wedding. Nervously, Ian and Marilyn agreed.

Fiona was also invited to the wedding. Marilyn had secretly confided to the Hot Flash Club that she wasn’t thrilled about this, but Marilyn had so many more people on her side—four family members, and four Hot Flash friends. It seemed only fair to invite Fiona. Fortunately, Fiona was eager to return to her own home. And, she confessed to Ian and Marilyn, she was afraid she’d weep all through their wedding ceremony. She offered to remain in Boston, taking care of Marie, until after the ceremony, but Marilyn assured her a neighbor would do that. So Fiona flew back to Scotland a few days before the wedding. Marilyn secretly considered Fiona’s absence a present.

Because Faye had no gentleman friend, she moved out of the other big bedroom, with its amazing view, into Alice’s small bedroom at the front of the house, which allowed Gideon and Alice to have the larger room. Gideon and Ian had become friends over the past year, so Gideon would stand with Angus on the groom’s side.

After some discussion about whether or not Harry should attend the wedding, because he didn’t know Ian, it was decided that he should come, because it would make Shirley happy, and it would add another man to the mix.

That made twelve people and one bulldog as guests at the wedding. Bette Spriggs, a local justice of the peace, was asked to perform the ceremony. Because there would be eight guests, the Hot Flash Club decided it would work just fine if Marilyn had four attendants. They decided to use the title “maids of honor” because Alice refused to be a “matron of honor” and Shirley wondered if you could even
be
a matron of honor if you weren’t married and didn’t have children. The five women went to Boston for one madcap day of shopping for the perfect dresses.

And finally, the day arrived.

The ceremony was set for eleven in the morning. The day was warm and humid, blue-skied, but drifting with high clouds and occasional sea mists.

Gideon rented an SUV in which he drove Ian, Ruth, Angus, Julie, and the dog Darwin, and Teddy, Lila, and little Irene to the moors. Harry met them there in his red truck, and showed them where to park, at the base of the hill in a spot where the sand wasn’t so soft it would strand the vehicles. Gideon and Harry lugged a cooler of iced champagne and a carefully packed box of crystal flutes to the top of Altar Rock Hill and tucked it behind a pine tree. Angus paced the dirt roads below the hill, practicing on his bagpipes and frightening the wildlife.

Ian waited to greet the justice of the peace, who looked official and formal in a black suit with a white shirt. Ian wore a white dress shirt and a kilt in the black, navy blue, and green tartan of the Foster clan. They climbed the winding, narrow dirt road to the top of the hill and Bette took her place, with her back to the sweeping view. Harry and Gideon, both wearing white flannel trousers and Hawaiian print shirts, stood on the left. On the right stood Julie Martin, transformed from her computer geekiness by her simple blue dress into a pretty young woman. Julie kept a tight hold on Darwin’s leash as the dog twined in circles around her legs, trying to reach the celebratory bows tied onto his collar. Ruth, fabulous in an azure mother-of-the-bride organza frock with a matching hat, was supported by her grandson Teddy, also in white flannels and a wild summer shirt. His wife Lila wore a blue sundress, and Irene wore a yellow organza dress and a matching yellow bow in her red curls. Together mother and daughter scattered a carpet of rose petals up the road to the summit, then took their place with Teddy, Ruth, Julie, and Darwin.

Just before eleven, Faye’s rented red Jeep came bouncing along the dusty road, cutting through the heather. It stopped by the other cars, and the women in their brilliant sundresses all spilled out like candies from a box. Angus met them there, and they lined up in the order that had been decided the night before when they drank champagne and drew numbers from a hat, because otherwise they couldn’t decide who should go before whom.

Angus, in a kilt and white shirt like his father, headed the procession, skirling out “Here Comes the Bride” on his bagpipes. To everyone’s relief, he played well, and the haunting, measured music gave a sense of solemnity to the open-air occasion.

Alice, in a sea-foam green sundress, came next. Then, Shirley, in lavender. Faye, in royal blue. Polly, in turquoise.

And Marilyn, in a simple ivory silk sundress. She held a bouquet of yellow roses in her hands, and a tiara of yellow and white roses lay in her upswept hair.

A breeze shivered their skirts as they climbed the hill. Because the road was unpaved, they all wore sandals. The poignant sound of the bagpipes and the sheer beauty of the moment had them all nearly dissolved in tears, but this was Marilyn’s day, and they each vowed not to blubber, at least until the ceremony was over.

They reached the top of the hill where Ian and the others stood waiting. The guests began to smile, but the dog reacted to the sound of the bagpipes by breaking into howls, which terrified Marilyn’s granddaughter, who began to howl, too. For a few moments, everyone bustled around, giving Darwin biscuits and soothing little Irene.

Then Marilyn and Ian stood side by side in front of the justice of the peace and the age-old words were spoken. At this, Shirley, Polly, Faye, and even Alice began to cry—quietly, joyfully, with radiant faces. Indeed,
radiant
faces, they agreed later, because their emotions sent them into what was probably the first ever combined Hot Flash Club hot flash.

Ian kissed his bride, and the newlywed couple turned to greet their friends and family. Ruth reached into her purse and brought out a Baggie full of bread crumbs, which she flung at the couple, explaining, “I considered rice, but uncooked rice might give the birds and animals indigestion and cooked rice would clump, so I thought this would work.”

The bulldog thought the bread crumbs were for him—after all, they were thrown on the ground, except for the ones which got caught in Marilyn’s hair. Darwin shuffled around their feet like a canine vacuum cleaner, snuffling as he licked and munched, and Teddy steadied his grandmother every time Darwin’s big head knocked her fragile legs.

Gideon and Harry brought out the champagne, popped the corks and handed champagne to everyone, and a flute of sparkling water to Shirley. They raised their glasses in a toast to Marilyn and Ian. Teddy took out his digital camera and shot photos of the group as they stood on top of the hill with the island and the sea spreading out around them.

Then they all piled into their various vehicles and sped back into town for a wedding luncheon at Fifty-Six Union Street. Their party had been allocated a separate room at the restaurant, off to the side and toward the back. Earlier that day, Faye, Polly, and Shirley had decorated the room with bowls spilling with lilies, roses, and ranunculus, while Alice had picked up the three-tiered wedding cake and brought it to the restaurant kitchen.

Now the group floated in, as colorful and celebratory as a bundle of balloons, and the other diners smiled to see them pass through. In the side room, Marilyn and Ian took their places at the head table, with Ruth next to Ian and Angus next to Marilyn and Julie, shy and blushing, next to Angus. Darwin had to wait in the car, but he’d been presented with a festive pig ear to celebrate the day.

The others settled in at tables dressed in snowy white linen. A waitress brought a child’s seat for Irene, and a waiter popped a cork on more champagne. The party feasted on fresh scallops, mussels, steamers and oysters, lobster and fresh greens, with lots of fresh hot rolls and butter and many glasses of champagne.

Alice chatted with Harry, who knew all about the African-American Meeting House. Ian listened to Ruth describe her recent adventures with Ernest, while Marilyn gently coaxed conversation from Angus and Julie. Faye and Polly allowed themselves to be charmed by three-year-old Irene, and Shirley listened, rapt, to Bette Spriggs talking about Harry, whom she’d known for a long time.

Gradually, Shirley realized that across the table, Alice was wriggling her eyebrows at her.

“What?”
she mouthed at Alice.

“Bathroom,”
Alice mouthed back.

The two women excused themselves from the table and went off to find the restrooms. There were two, side by side, both unisex. They slipped into one and shut the door shut behind them.

“This dress is too tight in the waist!” Alice hissed frantically. “It’s slicing into my skin! Help me rip the seams.”

“We can’t rip this beautiful dress!” Shirley protested.

“Fine. Then I’ll gag and die,” Alice snapped, tugging at the waist.

“Okay, okay, I’ll do it. Turn around.” Shirley bent close to inspect the material. “Oh, dear, I’m not sure…”

“Just hurry.”

A knock came at the door. Alice opened it to see Faye and Polly peering in. “What’s going on?” they asked.

“Oh, good!” Shirley cried. “You both know how to sew! Come in and help me rip apart Alice’s dress.”

The two women squeezed into the little room.

“I’ve got the same problem,” Faye assured Alice. “These dresses were a triumph of vanity over comfort.”

“Vanity over breathing in my case,” Alice panted.

Polly slipped her glasses out of her purse and studied the dress. “Look, there are two darts in the back. Let’s open them up.”

Shirley unzipped Alice’s dress and eased it off one shoulder. Polly inspected the dart. “I need scissors.”

Another knock came at the door. They opened it a crack. Marilyn stood there, looking left-out.

“What are you all doing?”

Faye chuckled. “Trying to give Alice some space in her dress. We need to open a couple of darts. Come on in.”

“I know!” Polly unfastened the corsage on her shoulder. “I can use this pin.” She set her corsage in the sink and wiggled the long pin out. “Now hold still, Alice.”

“Wait a minute,” Faye ordered. “Alice, slip off the other shoulder, and I’ll work on this side.”

Alice complied.

“Shirley,” Polly suggested, “could you hold the fabric taut—that’s right.”

Alice stood squeezed into the corner of the room with her back to them while Shirley held the fabric and Polly picked apart the stitching on the left side and Marilyn held the fabric while Faye picked apart the right side.

“This is
so
unglamorous!” Alice grumbled. “How can I grow out of my clothes while I’m wearing them?”

“Speaking of which,” Faye said, “did you get a good look at Lila today, Marilyn? I think she might be pregnant again.”

“Oh, I hope so,” Marilyn exclaimed. “I always regretted that Teddy was an only child. I hope Irene has a brother or sister.”

“Lila does have sort of a glow about her,” Shirley said. “And now that I think about it, her belly is bulging.”

“I’ve got a glow and my belly’s bulging,” Alice joked.

“Maybe that’s Mother Nature’s way of reminding us we’ve still got potential,” Shirley mused.

Alice snorted. “Potential to look like I swallowed a beach ball!”

Polly giggled. “That reminds me. What’s the difference between a girlfriend and a wife?”

“What?” the other four chorused.

“Forty-five pounds.”

“Oww!” Alice and Faye groaned.

“What’s the difference between a boyfriend and a husband?” Polly asked.

“What?” the other four chorused.

“Forty-five minutes!” Polly crowed.

“Ha!” the other four laughed.

BOOK: The Hot Flash Club Chills Out
10.67Mb size Format: txt, pdf, ePub
ads

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