The Hope of Refuge (19 page)

He should have waited until she’d rested and eaten before he asked her questions. Too little food and sleep, along with the trauma of yesterday and the work today, had overloaded her with stress. He should have known not to insult her dignity. She’d shared some of her life with him, so it didn’t seem that he’d done any damage to whatever small amount of trust he’d manage to earn. But it really ate at him that she’d been right.

His kind
.

Her bull’s-eye remark wasn’t a revelation. Even after his time living among the Englischers, he had a tendency to judge people unfairly sometimes… too often. After being raised by a very conservative group, he had no clue how to finish breaking the measuring stick. But if he wasn’t careful, he’d only strengthen her disbelief in God.

“‘From, look,” Lori whispered. She pointed to an area of tall grass. A swarm of lightning bugs circled, making quite a show.

He stood on the log and held out his hand. “Ever caught one of those?”

She took his hand, balancing herself as she stood. “No way.”

He chuckled. “Your mama was the best bug catcher I’ve ever seen.” They made their way across the log, and he helped her get on solid ground.

“Do they bite?”

“Lightning bugs? No. But if they did, your mom would’ve bitten them right back.”

“Yuck.”

Cara cleared her throat. He glanced up, realizing she’d moved from the blanket to the creek side. “Are you saying I eat bugs?”

Holding back a smirk, he hoped a little teasing might ease the tension between them. “Maybe.”

The last of the anger faded from her face, and gentleness replaced it.

He stared at her, wondering a hundred things. He wished he could see inside her heart and
really
get to know her beyond the few sentences she shared about her past. Ephraim placed his hands on Lori’s shoulders and angled her toward the meadow. “If you hurry, you might get to those fireflies before Better Days, and then you can be the one to scatter them.”

She took off running, the pup scurrying after her.

Ephraim turned to Cara, but he had no idea what to say. He would never really understand how it felt to grow up the way she had. To marry for all the wrong reasons yet have it turn out right. And then bury the man she’d grown to love and raise a child alone.

She held out the toy horse to him as if it symbolized a truce. “I’m Cara Moore now, not Atwater.”

He placed his hand over it, sandwiching it between their hands. “For years I was sure you’d come back for this. Then I gave up. But I couldn’t make myself throw it out.”

He removed his hand, and she stared at the horse. “Ephraim, I… I had a guy following me… for years. He’s the reason I needed Johnny and the reason I came here. He won’t find me now. I’m sure of that. Anyway while he was camped out in front of my apartment building, I took what cash I had, and Lori and I boarded a bus. When I got to the bus station, I had no idea where I’d go. So he has no way to know where I am. And no way of tracking me—not this time.”

She has a stalker?

He could still see the defensive bitterness inside her, but now he felt amazed that she carried as much hope and trust as she did.

She started walking toward the blanket. “I have one desire, Ephraim.” Tears brimmed her eyes, and she cleared her throat. “To protect Lori. She’s innocent in this mess that started so long before she was born. You asked me this morning when my mother died. I was eight. And my dad disappeared within a few weeks.”

“Cara.” Ephraim wanted to scream
no
long and loud. “You were raised in foster care?”

“Yeah, one of those homes is where I met Mike, the psycho teen who turned into a stalker.”

A desire to understand her outweighed any need to proceed carefully. “When he started threatening you, why not go to the police?”

She sank onto the blanket. “Lots of years, lots of reasons. I tried to go to the authorities once while living as a foster kid under his parents’ roof. Long story, but he won and I ran. When he showed up later, turning him in would’ve been the same as turning myself in. I was a fifteen-year-old runaway who served drinks and danced in skimpy clothes at a bar. I had to stay below the radar.”

He sat beside her. “And after that?”

“By the time I was of legal age, I had Johnny to take care of me. He managed a diner, and I worked as one of the waitresses. He never told me what happened between him and Mike, but the other waitresses said he caught Mike skulking around one day and put a gun to his gut, saying he better not see his face again. Mike disappeared. I didn’t see him again until a year after Johnny died.”

“What happened to Johnny?”

“Brain tumor—an aggressive, high-resolution glioma. There were four months between the time he was diagnosed and the day I was standing by his grave. When Mike heard Johnny was dead, he came after me, and it all started again—changing jobs and moving apartments. I’d shake him for a while but never for more than a year.”

“Why didn’t you go to the police then?”

“I was afraid for Lori. I knew a lot of girls with terrible boyfriends or husbands, dangerous guys, and they’d end up really hurt sometimes, especially if they talked to the cops. I couldn’t afford to provoke a crazy, violent man, and Mike is both. If I killed Mike and went to jail for it or if I made him angry enough to kill me, Lori would suffer either way.”

As Ephraim understood, he found it hard to sound casual. “She’d go into foster care.”

“Ain’t life grand?”

Ephraim felt the sadness inside her, even though her face showed little emotion. “This last time Mike found me, he’d figured out too much—Lori’s name, her school, her likes and dislikes. He threatened my roommate. She said he tore up our place. He wants me, and it seems he finally figured out that he’d never have me—unless he had Lori. I got lucky, really, that he didn’t nab her at school while I was working.”

A landslide of thoughts tumbled through him. While waiting for the right words to come to him, he spotted movement near the fence line. With dusk falling he couldn’t make out what was moving. Maybe his father’s cows were heading for the barn.

He returned his focus to Cara. “I’m glad you found your way back here.”

Cara drew a deep breath. “As soon as we can get social services off my back, I’ll be on my way. This place has nothing for me. I thought maybe I’d find some magical connection that would mean something special for us, for Lori. I should have known better. Levina must have been eighty when I was child. And if Emma Riehl, whoever she is, cared so little she never came for me, why did I think she might have some tie or relationship to offer me or Lori now? It was stupid.”

Emma Riehl?
His stomach twisted. Emma was Cara’s aunt. She was married to Malinda’s oldest brother, Levi. Why would Cara think Emma was supposed to come for her?

“Where does Emma Riehl fit in, Cara?”

She rolled her eyes, looking more jaded than her years allowed for. “A few weeks after my mom died, my dad took me to a bus station. He promised that Emma Riehl would come for me, and then he left. She never showed up. So the next thing I knew, someone from social services was hauling me off to the land of the lonely.”

Why would her father leave her at a bus station if he didn’t believe that Emma was coming for her? He couldn’t ask Emma, not with Cara living in his house. He couldn’t tell Cara either. Not yet. If she handled it wrong, the community would hold him responsible. It hadn’t dawned on her that he probably knew Emma, or maybe it had and she just didn’t care after the incident with the police.

Ephraim eased his fingers over hers. “You’re exhausted. You need a few days of regular meals, rest, and some peace. Maybe I can get one of my sisters to go to the Howards for a few days.”

She slid her hand free and ran her fingers through her short blond hair. “I appreciate the offer. But I need to work, to prove to social services I can support Lori and myself I want out—out of your home, out of Dry Lake. If you didn’t turn in that report to the police, someone else did, which means people around here think poorly of me and Lori already. I won’t start a new life fighting a battle I’ve already lost.”

Odd as it seemed, he didn’t want her to leave Dry Lake altogether. She had family and roots. It wasn’t the right time to tell her that, but it would be after she had her own place. Then the community would see her in a different light. Right now they’d only see her through the eyes of the rumors about a drunken thief. “Don’t you want to know why your mother came here? Or how Emma Riehl fits into the picture? Or why your dad thought she would come for you? Or why she didn’t?”

“I came here thinking that’s what I wanted, but now I know none of that matters. I need to build a life for Lori. Her childhood matters. Not mine.”

Behind the tough exterior, Cara was still the little girl who’d swum in creeks, jumped from haylofts, and looked at life through eyes of hope. He’d waited years for her to return, longing to see her again. To look into those eyes and rekindle the feelings of friendship that tied them. Cara shifted, glancing behind her. “Hey.” She tapped his shoulder and nodded backward.

He turned to see Simeon and Becca walking toward him. Dread climbed onto his heart and clung there. The lay of the land kept this little area unseen, so Ephraim had thought it was a safe spot. He came here often, and no one ever showed up.

He turned back to Cara. “Just sit tight, okay?” He stood.

“Hi, Lori!” Simeon pointed. “Look, Mamm, there’s the missing pup we’re searching for!” He ran to the spot where Lori and Better Days were chasing fireflies.

Becca came up to Ephraim, concern written across her face. Her hands moved to her plump waist. “What’s going on?”

He’d broken many of the written and unwritten rules of his people by being alone with an Englischer woman. He had no defense for it, no excuse or rationalization that would be accepted by her or anyone else. “I know what I’m doing. I don’t need a lecture.”

Shock drained from her face, and accusation took its place. “News of something like this could kill your father.”

Her words squeezed him like a vise. He’d known since yesterday that what she’d just said was true, but as he saw the fear reflected in her eyes, he realized he was caught between what was right for his Daed and what was right for Cara. No matter what he did, one of them could be hurt.

“This isn’t about him. And it isn’t any of your business.”

She looked from Cara to Ephraim. The pain in her face was evident, even under the night sky. He let out a slow stream of air.

“This is wrong.” She spoke softly, as if trying to keep Cara from hearing her. “Alone, after dark, sharing a blanket with an outsider. You’re in serious violation of everything we hold dear, things you took vows concerning.”

“This woman needs a little help for the next few days, maybe a week.”

“Is…is she the one your Daed’s been telling me about, the one Simeon said was staying in the barn and your Daed called the police about?”

“He shouldn’t have done that. She’s not the type of person he thinks.”

Becca massaged her temples. “I want to trust your judgment, Ephraim. If you think she’s a worthy cause, give her money and send her on her way, and I’ll say nothing to anyone about tonight.”

“She needs more than money. She needs… a friend.”

“Ephraim, please, put an end to this tonight, before it’s too late.”

Stunned at her gentle threat, Ephraim saw that she cared about his choices the way any mother would. He knew she honored his sense of duty toward the family, but he hadn’t realized she carried maternal feelings for him. “She stays. At least for a while. I’m sorry.”

Becca’s eyes narrowed, studying Cara. “If she’s just someone who needs help, does Anna Mary know about her?”

“Not yet.”

“Where is she staying?”

“I’m trying to help her find her a place. Until then I’m sleeping in the shop.”

Becca clutched her throat, wavering as if she might faint. “She’s staying in your home?” She drew several breaths. “I’ll give you until Saturday to get her out of your place. Then you must go to the church leaders and come clean about what’s been going on. After that…” She turned toward the creek. “Simeon,” she snapped, “kumm.” Without waiting, she stomped off toward the gate.

Ephraim turned to Cara, who stared up at him from the blanket. “None of this changes anything.”

“I’m really sorry about all this. I had no idea the Amish had strict rules about such things.”

“Being here with you is against what I vowed when I joined the faith. And for good reason. But right now we have no choice.” He took a seat beside her and watched Simeon walk toward the gate, waving to Lori as he left.

“Is Anna Mary your girlfriend?”

“Ya. She’s the one who made the fried chicken and cake we just ate.”

“Then you’d better tell her what’s going on.”

What could he say to Anna Mary? That he’d allowed a strange woman to stay in his home and sleep in his bed overnight when he wasn’t keen on Anna Mary cooking a meal in his kitchen?

The shrill of the hydraulic saw in Ephraim’s hand didn’t keep him from hearing the amplified ring of the office phone. Stopping the wood in front of the rotating blade, he glanced up. His foreman moved toward the corner office to answer it. Grey’s lively steps gave no hint to the troubles he kept buried. Despite how long they’d known each other, the two never spoke about what weighed on him.