The Honeywood Files (12 page)

Wishing you the compliments of the season,

Yours sincerely,

Spinlove has not chosen the best of all happy moments for wishing Brash a merry Christmas by tagging the message to a letter telling him he does not know what he is talking about. It was certainly an awkward one to have to write, for there is no ground of common intelligence upon which to approach Brash; it would have been better, instead of saying: “You are an ignorant donkey. Wishing you a happy Christmas.” . . . if Spinlove had written: “The bricks are all right. I will explain when I see you.”

BRASH TO SPINLOVE

Dear Mr. Spinlove, 23.12.24.

You may be quite correct in what you say from your own personal attitude of view, but you must permit me to inform you that I admire the pinky-red smooth bricks with straight white space lines, which you appear to hold in such contempt. Our diversity of tastes differ in this matter, which I much regret. I desire to add that I visited Kensington Gardens and viewed the Orangery yesterday and I entirely fail to visualize the least resemblance between that building and your design for my mansion. No two edifices could be more dissimilar in their diversity, and I am astounded that you should express the contrary view.

Reciprocating your seasonable good wishes,

Yours sincerely,

The explanation of this letter probably is that Brash was so irritated by Spinlove’s that he did not read it with any care.

SPINLOVE TO BRASH

Dear Sir Leslie Brash, 24.12.24.

You have misread my letter. I did not instance the Orangery as having anything in common with my design for your house, but as not having any; and I do not dislike the bricks you say you admire, but delight to use them in a design to which they are appropriate. If I had known that you particularly wanted your house faced with them I would gladly have made a design to suit, but nothing was said to suggest this. I feel confident that when you see the house taking shape you will be pleased, and not find the walling too rough or lacking in warm red colour.

Thank you for good wishes.

Yours sincerely,

BRASH TO SPINLOVE

Dear Mr. Spinlove, 28.12.24.

Lady Brash has returned home and has perused your letters on the subject of the bricks and is sure that if they are similar to those at Sponton Witgate (
sic
) they will be extremely pretty. I should mention that Lady Brash has the pleasure of acquaintance with the Rt. Hon. Lady Issit (sic) whose husband the Vicount (sic), as you are probably aware, is the owner of the house, which Lady Brash has heard much of. I apprehend that your judgment in selecting the bricks was quite correct, although they happen to be an innovation to me.

Yours sincerely,

Spinlove has struck it lucky: but poor old Brash! As Lady Brash does not know her acquaintance’s name (Issy) nor the name of her house, and Brash cannot spell her husband’s title, we may imagine that the great lady once opened a bazaar at which Lady Brash was a stallholder; and that the reason Lady Brash never wears a ring in her nose is that on that memorable day the Viscountess did not do so. How deep, therefore, will be the dear woman’s gratification in possessing a house whose bricks are similar to those used in her friend’s famous mansion. I make these comments to elucidate what I gather to be the inner meaning of Brash’s letter. Whether Spinlove caught its significance depends upon how far he is sensitive to the manifestations of social snobbery.

GRIGBLAY TO SPINLOVE

Dear Sir, 27.12.24.

We are now several courses above datum all round and have a good deal of material prepared and shall be glad of a certificate for £2,000.

Yours faithfully,

SPINLOVE TO HOOCHKOFT

Dear Sir, 29.12.24.

On my return to the office to-day I found a parcel containing a box of fifty cigars. I am led to think that these have been sent by you, as your trade card with the season’s greetings was found on the floor.

I appreciate your friendly intentions, but you will understand that it is impossible for me to accept presents from those with whom I do business in my professional capacity.

If you will confirm that you sent the parcel I will return it to you.

Yours faithfully,

Spinlove is right in returning the parcel and in the reason he gives for doing so: and, as he lays claim to no superior virtues, he will wound no susceptibilities—if Hoochkoft should harbour any, which is unlikely. It occasionally happens that a builder or specialist or merchant, yielding to a feeling of good fellowship or personal regard or gratitude for some friendly act, will, as an individual, send an architect the kind of gift that passes between convivial friends at Christmas, but all such ingenuousness has been rendered suspect by commercial enterprise, which is ready to falsify the purest motives of humanity at sixpence a time, and which fouls everything it touches. To accept gifts from firms is impossible; and an architect who accepts from individuals must expect to lose the respect of the giver as he deserves to do, for he has in like degree lost his own self-respect.

There are practising architects who are contemptuous of those who refuse gifts, and laugh scornfully at the idea of a couple of boxes of cigars or a case of champagne weighing with them when, as arbiters, they have to determine the measure due from and to the giver, and to interpret the contract against his interests. The scornful tone of that laugh is the reaction from the laugher’s contempt for himself in accepting; and if his impartiality in meting out justice is not, in fact, swayed, it is because his nature is insensitive to obligations that do not involve self-interest. The gifts are offered as an investment by those whose business it is to get full return for their investments, and they are accepted by those who desire possession and whose greed outweighs their self-respect.

HOOCHKOFT TO SPINLOVE

Dear Sir, 31.12.24.

We thank you for your kind appreciation and trust that you will not put yourself to the inconvenience of returning the small customary token we venture to send at this time of the year to our more valued customers, with whom we trust we may be permitted to include your good self.

With our respectful compliments for your good health and prosperity in the coming year,

We are, dear Sir,

Yours faithfully,

Hoochkoft sent this greasy letter in view of the fact that they have deceived Spinlove and intend to press the claim for picked bricks which they know he will resist. The reference to the architect as a customer is a deceptive gloss. Spinlove is the agent of Brash, who is the customer—a very different matter—though Spinlove’s habit of ordering goods without stating that he does so on behalf of his client would lead us to believe that he is not fully aware of the distinction. There is no reason why Brash, as a customer, should not accept Hoochkoft’s cigars, but this he will never have a chance of doing. It is never the principal to whom the gift is ordered, but his agent; it is not the lady of the house to whom the grocer sends the drum of candied fruits, but her cook.

SPINLOVE TO HOOCHKOFT

Box of cigars posted to-day under separate cover.

for j. spinlove,

r. s. pintle.

A distinguished architect tells me that when any gift is sent to him he accepts it with a grateful letter of appreciation and thanks, and an expression of his very deep regret that his doing so will make it impossible for him to place any orders with the giver in future. If his example were widely copied the practice would soon end.

SPINLOVE TO GRIGBLAY

Dear Sir, 1.1.25.

In reply to your letter asking for certificate, will you let me know how you arrive at your estimate of £2,000?

Yours faithfully,

GRIGBLAY TO SPINLOVE

Dear Sir, 5.1.25.

We enclose estimate for certificate, as requested. If not convenient please draw certificate for such less amount as you may think proper.

Yours faithfully,

SPINLOVE TO TINGE
,
QUANTITY SURVEYOR

Dear Mr. Tinge, 7.1.25.

The builder has applied for certificate for £2,000. I enclose his estimate. The walls are up an average of two courses above ground floor all round—there are about 10,000 common and 3,000 facing bricks on site and ground-floor window frames are practically made. His claim for materials prepared and on site seems excessive, and the inclusion of £400 out of preliminary and general provisions does not appear justified. Will you please examine the figures?

Yours truly,

TINGE TO SPINLOVE

Dear Sir, 10.1.25.

Value of work done and materials prepared or on site £2,250, less 20 percent retention, £1,800.

Estimate returned herewith.

Yours faithfully,

SPINLOVE TO GRIGBLAY

Dear Sir, 12.1.25.

I have examined your estimate, but am unable to agree that you are entitled to a certificate of £2,000; and as the contract stipulates that certificates shall be for not less than £2,000, you are not entitled to any certificate.

Yours faithfully,

Spinlove has no business to write these graceless letters to the builder, which will wound his self-respect and make bad blood. The tone is that of Scotland Yard addressing a ticket-of-leave man. No doubt Grigblay is “trying it on,” but there is no harm in asking, for some architects are easy-going and, knowing their man, are willing to stretch a point to oblige him, for the architect usually has the right to draw a certificate for less than the minimum named if he thinks fit. A builder has to pay his merchant or lose the 2 ½ percent discount usually allowed for settlement within three months, and if he is to make full use of his capital, as most of them do, he must get his money in promptly or borrow at interest, in which case his profits will vanish.

Spinlove ought to identify himself with the builder’s interests as well as with his client’s, and the sort of letter he ought to have written is somewhat as follows: “As I was not able to follow the details of your estimate I referred it to Mr. Tinge, who arrives at a figure, less retention, of £1,800. I should be glad to certify for this amount, but you will see that the contract stipulates a minimum of £2,000. I am afraid, therefore, that the matter must stand over for a few weeks.”

No builder could object to such a letter as this. The quantity surveyor is an impartial authority; the terms of the contract are inviolable. Spinlove is right in keeping to the letter of the contract, however, and Grigblay will not be likely again to lay himself open to a similar repulse.

LADY BRASH TO SPINLOVE

Dear Mr. Spinlove, 15.1.25.

I am writing as Sir Leslie is shooting with a friend at Westerham. I went down to-day and was horrified to find them soaking it with water!!! I spoke to one of them, but I am afraid he did not pay much attention, so will you please be so good as to have it stopped as I particularly want it dry? All my family are subject to rheumatism, so you may imagine my feelings to-day when I saw water being poured over them!!!

How very cold the wind has been lately!!

Yours sincerely,

It is a pity Lady Brash’s regard for her family does not extend to another kind of relatives—grammatical!

SPINLOVE TO LADY BRASH

Dear Lady Brash, 17.1.25.

Your house will, I can promise, be a thoroughly warm and a perfectly dry one. Bricks are always wetted so that the mortar will set hard. The walls will become quite dry in due time.

Yes, as you say, the wind has been very chilly. I hope Sir Leslie has had good sport.

Yours sincerely,

In point of fact it is difficult to get bricklayers to use enough water with absorbent bricks which, if not kept very wet, suck up moisture out of the mortar and give it no opportunity of setting properly. The bricklayer’s hand gets softened by being constantly wet, and the sand on the handle of the trowel cuts his skin.

SPINLOVE TO GRIGBLAY

Dear Sir, 22.1.25.

When I was at your yard yesterday I had to condemn five cills, seven jambs, and two mullions on account of sap or shakes; I notice also a certain amount of sap in the timber coming from the sawmill. Will you please see that none is included in the worked-up stuff?

Yours faithfully,

GRIGBLAY TO SPINLOVE

Dear Sir, 22.1.25.

Our shop foreman tells us that you objected to some of the oak prepared for window frames. We may say that this is one of the best lots of oak we have seen for a great many years; it is ten years old, Sussex white, grown on the chalk, and not weald oak, and we defy anyone to show you finer timber as it is not to be had and there is very little as good as this anywhere. These slow-growing trees do not come very straight, so we are bound to get a little sound sap wood running in and out in places, and if we threw out all that showed a trace we should have to throw out more than half. Some of your jambs are near 9 ft. long. We will carefully select and keep any sappy angles on the back face; we will also creosote or tar the backs and underside of cills if you wish.

Yours faithfully,

It was easy for Spinlove to specify “the timber to be well seasoned, free from sap, large loose or dead knots, waney edges”—and all the rest of it. The point is, how is he to interpret words which describe the general characteristics of timber and which mean a different thing to different persons and have a different value according to the purpose for which the wood is to be used? In what degree is the timber to be free from those particular defects? To apply the rule literally and rigidly would drive any builder into flat revolt, and no arbitrator would support the interpretation. A bit of sap running in and out on the back angle of cill or jamb is of no account, and large live knots are characteristic of English oak, as also are shakes, which cannot be objected to when they are superficial and the wood is well seasoned. If Spinlove has no stomach for the robust, rugged integrity of English oak he ought to have used Austrian or Danzig or Japanese.