The Holders (14 page)

I wanted this. I wanted Alex. I wanted our walks and talks. I wanted to be wherever he was. But it wasn’t just Alex: I wanted it all. I wanted breakfast in the cafeteria, and crazy rainy weather, and girl talks with Chloe. I wanted random games with Mr Anderson and Mr Reid, and grandmotherly Min.

I wanted to belong.

I’d spent so much time thinking about how well Ryland was fitting in, that I hadn’t realized that I was fitting in too. Hadn’t thought that maybe we both belonged here.

“I know that it might be hard to be so far from your mother,” he continued, talking faster than he usually did, “but if you go to Princeton in the spring, you wouldn’t really be home anymore either way, and I’m sure she’d like knowing that you were with Ryla–”

“Thank you,” I cut in with a smile. “I’ll think about it.” I took the booklet from him with a smile, knowing deep down that the decision was already made.

The look on his face took my breath away, and made my heart pick up in a way that was becoming all too familiar. Though, for the first time my swoony-joy was just a little tainted as Chloe’s words echoed in my mind: The only person a Holder can ever be truly happy with is their Anam.

Alex was a Holder.

“I’ve got to get going,” he said, unaware of my creeping disappointment.

“Sure, yeah,” I said, crossing my hands over the booklet, hugging it to my chest. “Be careful.”

He moved to leave, but paused, seemingly unwilling to go. Then slowly, he lifted his hand, and lightly brushed his fingers along my jaw and down to my chin. He smiled once more, almost wistfully, before turning and striding off down the hall.

I stared after him, waiting for the red to fall back out of my cheeks. I knew Chloe had said that a Holder had to be bonded to be truly happy, but who knew, maybe Alex could be happy enough with me for a while?

 

15

 

“Becca? Are you up?” Chloe called through my room door. “You’re going to be late.”

Ugh.

Was it seriously morning already? Impossible.

Alex had been gone for two nights, and I hadn’t slept a wink and a half between the both of them. Ever since my first night here, I’d fallen asleep each night to the sound of Alex’s feet gently thumping on the floor as he paced back and forth across his bedroom. I had no idea what was keeping him from a normal bedtime hour so often, and while I was curious to find out, I could never quite bring myself to ask. First off, I already felt a bit intrusive just listening to the sound the way I did, and didn’t want him to think I was an eavesdropper. But moreover, I was afraid that if he found out I could hear him, he would stop, and – odd as I know it was – I was comforted by the audible proof that he was still nearby, even at night.

However, ever since Alex had left with Taron to get the Reader I had nothing but a yawning silence each night, reminding me that Alex was gone and that I was very much alone. It was dumb that I felt as lonely as I did, with Chloe right down the hall and Ry only a few buildings away. Though try as I did to ignore it, there was an ever-present weight on my shoulders that somehow I knew would pass only when Alex got back. Maybe deep down I was worried about him, or maybe it was his company I missed. I wasn’t sure, but what I did know was that I didn’t like it. It was uncomfortable and, honestly, made me feel like a weak and dependent little ninny, and I’d be damned if I was ever going to be anything other than self-reliant.

Plus, this lack of sleep thing was really getting old.

I cracked an eye open, only to be met by a blinding ray of sunlight streaming in through a crack between the drape and the window frame.

Son of a bit–

“Becca?” Chloe called louder this time. “It’s past almost noon, are you even in there?”

“Yeah, hang on, I’m coming.” I stumbled out of bed and over to the door, letting her in.

“Oh, dear! I knew it, you slept in,” she said, as I slumped over the couch. “Alex and Taron are back with Cormac, and everyone is setting up.”

Alex was back? “Setting up for what?” I yawned, ignoring the small burst of energy I got at the news.

“For the test. Ryland’s test is this afternoon, remember?”

I rubbed my hands over my face. “Oh, hell, that’s right. OK, hang on, let me get dressed.”

Twenty minutes later – after Chloe sent me back to change twice, saying I should look “nice”, then insisted on gelling and scrunching all the curl into my hair – we emerged downstairs to find everyone gathered in the lounge. Mr Anderson, Mr Reid, and Taron (oh joy) were talking with a man I’d never seen before, while Min was sitting by the door with Alex. As he looked up he gave me a smile that made my toes curl. I shook off the remainder of my unease, and stepped over to join them.

“Didn’t want to get up this morning?” he asked with a grin.

“Chloe’s been wearing me out the past two days,” I teased, bumping her with my elbow. Cheap trick, I knew, but it was better than saying, “I was tired because it seems I can’t sleep without you wearing a hole in the floor above my head” or something else equally crazy and looking like a total nut-bag. “When did you get back?” I asked quickly, hoping to change the subject.

“Late last night. That’s Cormac Dullin,” he said, motioning over his shoulder toward the stranger. “He’s our Reader. He’ll be able to tell us exactly what is going on during and after the test.”

From what I could see, this Cormac person seemed a very pleasant man. He appeared to be in his sixties – though Lord only knows how old he actually was – and had that certain look an older person can sometimes have, where it is obvious that they were extremely attractive in their youth.

“Speaking of the test,” Alex said, turning to me, “we thought it might be best to send Anderson over to get Ryland, if that’s all right with you.”

Mr Anderson was about the happiest, most laid-back person I’d ever met, and much as I would have liked to be the one to bring Ryland over, I understood. If anyone could set Ry at ease, it was Anderson.

“Sure, that’s fine.”

“Well, I best be off to class,” Chloe said, pulling on her coat, a small pout on her lips.

“You’re not going to be there?” I asked. I guess I’d just assumed she would be.

“What, me? No, of course not. I’m not cool enough to play with the big boys,” she sneered playfully at Alex.

“You know we love you,” Alex said, wrapping an arm around her and kissing her head, turning my brown eyes green for just a second.

“Yeah, yeah,” she laughed pushing him away. “All right then, good luck and I want to hear all about it tonight!” She waved and was gone.

“I ought to go and fetch the lad!” Mr Anderson said coming across the room, following Chloe’s example. “Is everything ready?” he asked Alex, nodding toward the Inner Chamber.

“Should be. Becca will be here waiting for you, the rest of us will be inside.”

“Righto.” Anderson smiled, gave me a wink, then headed out into the windy afternoon.

“What did he mean ‘is everything ready?’ What’s there to get ready?” I asked Alex.

“Come on, I’ll show you.”

We walked down the hall toward the Inner Chamber when suddenly I realized something. Jocelyn wasn’t in the lounge. That meant he could be…

“Where’s Jocelyn?” I asked, really not wanting to run into him without a large crowd as a buffer.

“His office,” Alex smiled, probably guessing why I’d asked. “He had a few things to finish up before we start.”

The large door to the Chamber was unlocked this time, and when we went in I saw that everything was as it had been the first time I’d been there, with one notable difference. The center of the room, which had before been open, now held a small table with two items on it. The first I recognized as the Iris, but the other was new – and hard to miss. It was an enormous gold cuff with a vibrant green gem set in the center. The cuff itself had to be over six inches wide, with swags of gold chains hanging from it, and gaudy decorative carvings all over the thick metal face.

“What’s that?” I asked, pointing to the bejeweled monstrosity.

“That,” Alex laughed, “is – or will one day be – Ryland’s Sciath.”

“What? You’ve got to be kidding! That thing wouldn’t fit around his leg!”

“No, I’m serious,” he said, though he was smiling. “You have to understand, it was forged centuries ago for a ‘great and powerful warrior’, not a skinny ten year-old.”

“Ha!” I couldn’t help but laugh. “It’s hideous! It looks like something from the set of Braveheart. Is he actually going to have to wear that thing?”

“Only for today. We want him to have it on for the test, just to be on the safe side. After that, Min can reset the stone into something more appropriate. The stone is the only thing that really matters anyway, that’s where the power is. Resetting can take a while, but like I said, Ryland won’t need a Sciath until his Awakening, so we have plenty of time.”

I giggled again, picturing Ry with this massive hunk of metal on his puny little arm. Poor kid would never be able to swim again, at least not without plummeting straight to the bottom.

“Becca?” Alex said after a minute.

“Hmm?” I looked up, still grinning, but sobered when I saw how serious he had become.

“Anderson and Ryland will be here soon and we should get ready, but I wanted to ask you,” he looked down and scratched the back of his neck, which I’d noticed he always did when he was nervous or uneasy, “are you busy tonight? There is something I need to talk to you about.”

“Sure. Is everything OK?”

“Oh, yeah, everything is fine,” he assured me, with a smile that made my knees shudder. “I’ll see you tonight, then.”

 

“It’s not going to hurt, is it?”

“It’s not going to hurt,” I assured Ryland, as we stood in the small rotunda outside the Inner Chamber. Jocelyn had a few last minute things to tell everyone before the test that Ryland couldn’t hear. Mr Anderson had stepped in to listen, and Ry and I were waiting for him to come back and get us.

“And I don’t have to do anything?”

“Nope, nothing. They are going to put this big bracelet on your arm, then give you a small metal circle to hold, and then it’ll be over.”

He kept fidgeting with his jacket button, nervously. “You’re sure that’s it?”

“That’s it.”

“Then why is everyone acting like it’s a big deal.”

“Who told you it was a big deal?”

“No one told me it is, but they keep telling me it isn’t, and when something really isn’t a big deal no one ever says it isn’t, they just don’t say anything. People only say things aren’t a big deal when they really are.”

I had to hand it to the kid, he was perceptive. “You’re thinking too much,” I said, trying to play it down. “I promise, you won’t even know anything is happening. And wait until you see all the cool stuff that’s in there,” I added, trying to move his focus.

Before he could argue again I heard feet on the other side of the door and realized Mr Anderson was coming to get us.

“Everything will be fine,” I said, stepping behind him, and placing my hands on his shoulders. “Just relax. You will be back in your room before you know it.”

The lock clicked and the door swung open, and there was… Jocelyn. It wasn’t Anderson at all. My hands tightened on Ryland’s shoulder, but my mouth stayed closed.

His eyes were on me for a split second before they darted away. He stooped down on his haunches, to be eye-level with Ry. “Are you ready?”

“Yes,” came the timid reply.

“Don’t worry, it won’t take but a second.”

As Jocelyn backed against the open door, so that we could pass by, I did my best to keep my expression impassive, and ignore the way his warm affectionate tone with Ryland sent stabbing pains to my stomach.

Ryland took a step toward the door, but then spun around and whispered up to me, “Are you sure it won’t hurt?”

I rolled my eyes. “Would I let anything hurt you?”

He dropped his head, resigned. “No.”

“Then what are you worried about?”

He gave me one more tentative glace before turning back around, looking up at Jocelyn who smiled, and walking into the Chamber. I meant to follow immediately behind him, but paused, glaring at Jocelyn.

“If that thing hurts him,” I whispered, chin up, looking him straight in the eye, “I swear to God, I’ll kill you.” Without another word, I stepped past him and through the door.

Min was already leading Ryland to the table in the center of the room, so I made my way over to where everyone else was standing and took a place by Alex.

“How’s he doing?” he whispered, as I slid in next to him.

“Good. Better than me.” Only after I said the words did I realize how true they were. Ryland was doing well. Nervous sure, but otherwise well. While I, on the other hand, had been putting on a brave face all day, but now that he was finally up there about to do this I was freaking out. What if he got hurt? What if it was too much for his tiny body to handle? What if he touched it and it blew up, or messed with his head, or turned him into some crazy–

The touch of a hand on my back brought my mental panic to a halt. I glanced to my side, though I didn’t need to. I knew it was Alex.

“He’ll be fine,” he breathed, rubbing my back in small, somewhat shy circles, in an effort to comfort me. Had the situation been different, I probably would have melted into a puddle on the floor. As it was however, I was too much on edge. Ryland would be fine, deep down I knew that, but still, as much as I wanted to be calm, and as much as Alex rubbing my back did console me, it was impossible not to be nervous.

I focused my attention on the center of the room where Min was placing the huge Sciath on Ryland’s pencil-thin arm. Jocelyn had locked the Chamber door behind us and was standing beside Min, while the new guy, Cormac, was standing on the other side of the table. Once the Sciath was in place, Min opened the glass case containing the Iris and pulled it out. She glanced first at Jocelyn, then at Cormac, to make sure they were ready. When they both nodded, she looked down at Ryland and held out her hand. The room itself seemed to hold its breath as she slowly placed the Iris into Ryland’s waiting palm, and then…

Nothing.

Or nothing that I could see anyway. I looked around at the others to see if there was something I had missed, but they were all focused on the group in the middle of the room. I saw Min glance at Jocelyn, then at Cormac, then Jocelyn looked at Min. They were all shooting glances at one another, their looks slowly changing from expectation, to surprise, to incomprehension – but no one was saying anything.

What the hell was going on?

Finally I couldn’t take it any longer. “What’s happening?” I whispered to Alex, though I was sure the entire room heard me.

“I don’t know,” he mouthed, eyebrows pulling together in confusion.

“Well?” Taron asked aloud, for once making me grateful for his presence.

“I’m not sure,” Min finally said, shaking her head. “Jocelyn, do you…?”

“No, nothing. Cormac?”

“No,” Cormac sighed, “it didn’t work.”

“What do you mean it didn’t work?” Taron barked, effectively ending my grateful streak. “It has to work. It has to work!”

“How can you be sure?” Mr Reid asked, more pleasant though still with a concerned tone.

“I am positive,” Cormac assured them. “The boy has had absolutely no change in his ability, nor has the general power level of the room altered in any way.

“It’s true,” Min agreed. “His saol is also unchanged.”

“How can that be?” Taron croaked.

“Perhaps there’s been a mistake?” Mr Reid suggested

“Could his Sciath be interfering?”