The Hired Wife (21 page)

Looking up from
her cards Alyce found herself the main object of interest in the
red drawing room. The unasked question hung in the air until Cecil
Smirke draped himself over the back of her chair, “Are we
collectively hearing voices or have you illegally married that
aging syphilitic Pan?” Alyce glanced around her table; her sister
was obviously hurt and horrified, Buckingham looked disturbed while
Charles Smirke appeared bored. Glancing at Robert Smirke she felt
her throat constrict as she met a look of disgust. The young man
stood up and threw down his cards with force before stalking from
the room with clenched fists. Cecil watched his baby brother leave
the room before turning his attention back to Alyce, “Robert’s
young he’ll get over you. Pretty shameless women can be found
everywhere; we have at least a dozen in Adderbury. I’d wager Robert
has intimate knowledge of each lady’s faults. What I’d like to know
is how you can stomach the thought, let alone the act, of bedding
Morley? He looks like one of those Egyptian mummies plastered and
painted to look alive…” Ignoring Cecil’s questions, Alyce jumped
from her chair and hurried after Robert’s fading footsteps. “…I
hope Robert isn’t stupid enough to bed Morley’s bride.”

Buckingham
ogled Cecil with an intense stare, “There is a lady present.”

“Oh…yes,
forgive me Lady Emily, I’m sure your sister wouldn’t cuckold a
murderous mummy. Cosmo, go remind Robert that temptations are meant
to be resisted.”

Emily burst
into tears, “Oh Bucky…she never said a word! How could she not tell
me?”

Cosmo ignored
the sobbing woman being comforted in their hosts’ arms, “You’re the
eldest, you do it…fed up…one of these days…Papa…” The conversation
behind her slurred as Alyce stepped through the door and ran after
the slender back disappearing around a corner.

“Robert wait!”
He didn’t resist the hand on his sleeve as she pulled him to a
stop. “Don’t be angry with me. You’re only seventeen. I couldn’t
wait four years to marry you. I don’t want to be an old maid-bride;
in any case you probably wouldn’t want me in four years.”

“If you make
love to all your admirers, it’s just as well I didn’t make your
list of ennobled cuckolds. As for marriage, my wife will lovingly
resist my charms until I put a ring on her finger. I don’t want
some light skirt mothering my children.”

“I’m not a
Jezebel. I kissed you before I married Morley. Besides, I don’t
want to marry you so what difference does it make?”

“Forgive my
bluntness Madam, but being Morley’s property makes you a dangerous
toy. You’re not worth dying for.”

“Don’t be so
dull! Morley’s a pig…” She looked about her before opening the
nearest door and pulling him into a bedchamber shrouded in dust
covers and quietly closed the door. “…he intends to cast me off and
pretend he didn’t marry me. He says if I don’t do what he wants
he’ll publish my ruin. We haven’t been married twenty-four hours
and he’s forced his revolting nakedness on me five times.”

“I’m impressed;
I wouldn’t have thought the old goat had it in him.”

“It’s not
funny; the pig intends to make Mary his Marchioness.”

“Mary? Your
unattractive sister-in-law? I fear Bedlam awaits you.”

“It’s true!
Henry intends to murder Marshall and force Mary into wedlock.
Heaven knows why he wants her. He said I was stupid and I wouldn’t
understand.”

“I think you’re
stupid for thinking he’d marry you with an illegal license.”

“Perhaps, but
I’m not so stupid to let him get away with it. I’m going to be
publicly acknowledged as the widowed Lady Morley. I just need to be
pregnant with an heir so I don’t have to go home with
Marshall…”

“Whoa! Widowed?
You, are going to kill Morley? How? Bed him to death?”

Alyce slapped
the laughing young man on the arm. “If Morley dies in an accident
no one will know the difference. All his brothers died in
accidents, why shouldn’t he?”

“If you have
any sense you’ll pretend the wedding never happened and flee to
some haven until your next curse confirms you won’t be cursed with
his bastard.”

“If he dies and
I have a child it won’t be a bastard, it’ll be a Fitzalan. Morley
hates Smirkes. Wouldn’t it be amusing if his legal heir was a
Smirke?”

Robert’s raised
eyebrow silently questioned her sanity. “You underestimate your
aging Pan. The man has been known to kill people because he finds
it amusing.”

“I need a son
and widow weeds in that order. Will you help me?”

“My father
wouldn’t approve.”

“Who cares what
your father thinks? How would he know? The child might not even
look like you.”

“It could look
like Morley.”

“Obviously, but
I’d rather it looked like a Smirke. Well?”

“I can tell
your brother hasn’t yet taken you to Bedlam to gawp at inmates with
the pox.”

“You won’t get
the pox.”

“No because I
use preservatives against the clap unless I’m certain the young
lady is a virgin, a state of being you can no longer claim.
However, if you merely wish to be pleasured I might oblige wearing
an impediment to procreation.”

“I don’t need a
lover, I need a child. Would one of your brothers help me?”

“They wouldn’t
know what to do if they found you naked.”

“Then you have
to help me.” Alyce fingered one of the buttons on his waistcoat and
looked up through her lashes with what she hoped was a needy
expression. “I don’t want to kiss one of your brothers; you’re by
far the most beautiful Smirke…”

He glanced at
her low décolletage and licked his lips, “I’ll think about it.”

“You will?
Let’s do it now.”

“No, one of my
brothers will be looking for me.”

“Shall we have
a practice kiss…?” Five minutes later, still unable to persuade
Robert to join her on the bed, Alyce pulled free and tidied her
dress. Her lecherous husband would be waiting for her in the
conservatory. “Meet me tomorrow at the Chinese pagoda folly at
noon; I’ll be waiting for you. We’ll have a picnic lunch and then
you can give me a Smirke.”

“Even if I
escape his eagle eyes, Cecil’s bound to come looking for me.”

“How could he
possibly think to find you in a folly half hidden on the hillside
out of sight of the house?”

“I’ve no idea,
but he might. He’s a cursed nuisance.”

“The
impertinent bore won’t find us…did you hear what he asked me? I’ve
never been so insulted; I could have poked out his eyes.”

“He fell on his
head as a child. It did something to his brain. He can only speak
the truth; unfortunately for you he’s usually correct.”

“I can’t
imagine he has much luck with the ladies.”

“He wants to be
like Papa and save himself for love.”

“Your Papa
sounds like a bore.”

“Only when he’s
giving one of his eternal lectures on being good; being good is a
bore. I tried it for three months and nearly died of frustration
until a pretty maid offered sweet relief.”

“He sounds like
my boring brother…” Alyce jumped as someone tapped firmly on the
door. “Who’s that?”

“Probably
Cecil…your bodice is loose, here let me.” Alyce blushed as she was
expertly tucked and tied back into place by long slender admiring
fingers.

The knocking
became urgent, “Robert, I know you’re in there.”

Robert pulled
the door open and scowled down at his eldest sibling, “Do you mind?
I was having a private conversation.”

Alyce blushed
as Cecil looked her up and down with blank expression that somehow
conveyed disproval, “By the look of her dress she’s had a little
too much conversation. You have just enough time to do a
Mathematics lesson before dinner. After which we’ll all go hunting
some of those mushrooms you spotted, unless I end up defending you
from the lady’s mad husband.”

Alyce sneered
at the pretty blonde man waving her out of the room with an elegant
hand. “If you were as much a man as your seventeen year old
brother, you might convince a woman to have a private conversation
with you.”

“If my baby
brother had half my wisdom Madam he’d avoid you like the plague.
Morley is a murderer. Don’t be surprised when he kills you. I won’t
be.”

“You’re a
horrid beast. What do you know?”

“I know you’d
be better named Delilah.”

“Cecil, that’s
rude; you just called Lady Alyce a wanton.”

“I’ve always
liked the name Delilah, it has a certain ring. Thankfully your name
isn’t Sampson or I’d fear ruin was your fate.” Alyce watched red
faced as her would be lover was frog marched away down the hall by
the arm like a child. She’d upstage the uncivilised Cecil Smirke
and with luck, give birth to a black eyed boy. All pleasantness was
over for the evening. There was no stalling her husband’s demand
for her person.

She wrinkled
her nose as she stepped into the conservatory and closed the door
behind her. The acrid smoke from Morley’s pipe gave warning he was
waiting. Weaving her way through potted palms she found him staring
out of rain sluiced glass at the black garden. He appeared
undisturbed by his bruises. Sighing in disgust, she mentally
prepared herself to accommodate her illegal husband’s unquenchable
lust. Sneering she stared at the back of his head and wondered what
sort of simple accident would most effectively make her a grieving
widow.

“Such loathing
my dear, I do believe you wish me dead.”

She scowled as
her eyes focused on his sneering reflection in the glass. “Who
wouldn’t faced with the prospect of seeing you naked every day for
years on end?”

“Speaking of
revelations, I’ve had a heart to heart with Mother. After sharing
my fears on your unsuitability as wife Mother had the brilliant
idea that we simply pretend the marriage never happened. It took
place after all without your legal guardian’s permission. After
your brother’s violent display, Mother’s convinced your blood is
tainted.” Morley’s reflected lips curved into a sinister smile.
“Without Mother’s witness you’ll never persuade a single soul that
you have the least entitlement to my name. Checkmate!”

“You’re a vile
pig and I hate you.”

“Is that the
best you can do my dear?”

“You’ll
publicly acknowledge me as your wife or I’ll kill you.”

Her husband’s
parted sneer revealed blackened teeth, “You’re killing me with
boredom.”

“You will
acknowledge me.”

“No, I’d rather
wed someone a little more…humble.”

Alyce sneered
in disgust, “She’ll never marry you.”

“She will.”

“You’re
mad.”

“You’re a slut.
You were seen kissing the pretty Robert Smirke the day before you
planned to marry me. Don’t cross me or London will be lapping up
the details of your scandalous behaviour.”

Alyce stamped
her foot and screamed, “I hate you!”

“The feeling is
mutual. If I were you I’d entrap the Smirke child into matrimony.
All you need do is frolic with the boy and then ensure his father
hears of it. Adderbury will insist the boy marries you. You’ll have
a name for my bastard and I won’t have to kill you. If he wasn’t a
Smirke I’d pity him.”

“Fine, I
will…and you and your saggy naked flesh may go to the devil.”

“With pleasure
my dear. In the mean time, to thank you for sharing your virgin
flesh I’ll acquire a couple bottles of wine from Bucktooth’s cellar
and bring them to you tonight. The more wine Robert drinks, the
longer he’ll remain by your side déshabillé. If you stack the cards
in your favour, you should have a pretty husband within weeks. You
needn’t thank me for my generosity; the thought of you spending
your life in Adderbury producing Smirkes every ten months will be
gratitude enough.”

Alyce saw a
pleasant future unfold where she married the beautiful Robert
Smirke and shared his kisses morning and night. “Would you bring me
a couple bottles of sherry? Robert likes sweet wine.”

“Consider it
done. I’ll bring them at the usual time…” Morley sneered in
amusement as the door creaked opened and then closed with a slam.
“Ah Bucktooth, the white Knight, has hopped along to save you.”

Alyce blushed
as she turned to find Lord Buckingham looking at her with an
expression that made her squirm. “Your sister is feeling poorly and
desires your company. She’s in her chamber.”

Alyce flounced
past the disapproving Buckingham and slammed the conservatory door
before carefully reopening it and pressing her ear to the crack.
Her mouth fell open as she heard the innocuous Buckingham roar at
his unwanted house guest, “…blame myself for giving in to Lady
Alyce’s demands that I invite you. Pack your trunks and leave my
house at once.”

“I’m not in the
mood to relocate Bucktooth. Force me to leave and London will hear
how Lady Alyce tumbled into my bed like an overripe fig. You know
what they say about identical twins…” A dull thud was quickly
followed by splintering glass and another dull thud.

“Mother taught
me to turn a deaf ear to insults, but I’ve had a bellyful of your
bile. You dare besmirch Lady Emily’s reputation and I’ll ask the
Lady in the Lake to make a frog hop out of your mouth every time
you lie. Keep your mouth shut Morley or you’ll be the talk of
London.”

Morley’s evil
chuckle sounded winded, “You’re as mad as your mother. I recommend
you drown yourself and spare poor Emily the embarrassment of giving
birth to rabbits. She must be desperate to be a wealthy…what was
that title you’re in line to inherit?” Alyce smiled with glee as
the sound of knuckles momentarily silenced Morley.

“Mother taught
me to be kind to my enemies; you have twenty-four hours to leave at
your leisure before I use my boot and kick you out of my house.
Stay away from every female in the vicinity or you may find
yourself sorely cursed.”