Authors: Ali Novak
Just as I finally relaxed and turned my attention to the movie, Oliver chuckled at something 007 said, and I felt him shake beneath me. Tilting my head back a few inches, I looked up at him through my lashes. There was a dusting of pink on his cheeks, and his eyes shone as he laughed.
He must have felt my gaze, because his eyes snapped down and found mine. His lips slowly parted as he stared down at me, and my whole body flooded with warmth. Someone was shouting something crazy on-screen, but I was too preoccupied with Oliver to turn toward the TV. The way he was looking at me made me want to press my body farther up against him, and the thought made me blush.
Embarrassed by my own thoughts, I suddenly needed to look away, to focus on anything but him. But as I turned, Oliver gently grabbed my chin. He held my head in place until I made eye contact, and then, once he knew I was watching, he dipped his head and brushed his lips against mine.
The small bit of contact was all I needed. Something flared up inside me, and instead of waiting for Oliver to deepen the kiss, I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled him closer. I’d kissed boys before, but I had never felt like I did in that moment—crazy and wild and losing control. When Oliver yanked me onto his lap, my mouth left his and I started kissing down his neck. His head rolled back against the couch, and he groaned, yanking at his shorts with his free hand as he tried to readjust.
The front door banged open. “Stella? Oliver? Are you guys up here?”
When Xander’s voice rang through the apartment, Oliver pushed me off and shot to the other side of the couch as if I suddenly had a contagious disease. Sitting up straighter, I patted down my hair.
“There you guys are,” Xander said when he entered the living room.
“Oh hey,” Oliver said.
He put on a wonderful performance. First, he casually glanced up at his friends like he hadn’t heard anyone enter the penthouse. Then he yawned and stood up to stretch as if his muscles were cramped from watching the movie.
If
he
wasn’t a singer
, I thought,
he
would
make
an
excellent
actor
. Grabbing the remote, Oliver flipped the movie off just as Aaron ushered the rest of the guys into the room. Then a woman with short, blond hair stepped inside after them.
“Aaron called Courtney,” Xander said, his lips tightening.
Oliver narrowed his eyes at his bodyguard. “Traitor.”
“Aaron did the right thing,” said the lady I presumed was Courtney. “We have an interview tomorrow morning and a concert tomorrow night. You should have gone to bed hours ago.”
“We’re not kids, Courtney,” JJ complained. The way he rolled his eyes made him look exactly like a little kid, and I covered my laugh with a cough.
“Really?” she responded and put a hand on her hip. “Could have fooled me. Aaron shouldn’t have to call me in the middle of the night to make you behave. I’m your manager, not your babysitter.” So this Courtney chick was the band’s manager.
“Okay, we get it,” Xander grumbled. “We’ll behave. You can go back to bed now.”
“I will,” Courtney said, “but your friend has to leave.” She pointed at Drew.
“Friends,” Drew corrected her. “My sister is coming with me.” He shot me a look that said, “No way in hell are you staying here alone.”
Courtney’s eyes flickered over to the couch when my brother looked in my direction. She sighed before turning to Oliver. “Your friend has to leave as well.” The way Courtney dismissed me made it seem as if she had done it many times before, almost like it was a normal occurrence.
“Okay,” Oliver said calmly. For a moment, nobody moved.
“Well, are you both coming?” Courtney asked as she nodded in the direction of the door.
A gut-wrenching feeling washed over me as I stood up. I turned to Oliver, but he wouldn’t meet my eyes. Okay…why was he acting so strange all of a sudden?
Alec spoke up. “It would be nice if we could say good-bye to our friends.” Courtney raised an eyebrow as if she were waiting. “Privately,” he added and crossed his arms over his chest.
The boys’ manager pursed her lips together before responding. “Fine,” she agreed, “but don’t take too long. I’ll see you four in the morning.” Taking Aaron with her, Courtney backed out of the room. It remained quiet until the door clicked shut.
“That went well,” Oliver grumbled to himself. He stuck his hands in his pockets and looked around awkwardly.
Drew started our good-byes. “It was great to meet you all.” He actually looked a little sad as he gathered Cara’s belongings from the table. “Thanks again for signing everything. It will really mean a lot to our sister.”
“Oh! That reminds me,” Xander said before disappearing into one of the back rooms and returning with another poster.
“Good call,” JJ said when he saw it.
“It’s going to be in next month’s issue of
Tiger
Beat
,” Xander explained to me as he held it up. It was a picture of all the guys jazzed up in suits. My eyes went straight to Oliver, who had his hands raised to form a fake gun. His eyes twinkled in amusement as they stared up at me from the glossy page. Bond, James Bond.
“Nobody has it yet,” JJ added. He took the poster from Xander, flattened it out on the table, and wrote a message for Cara in the top left-hand corner. It read:
Happy Birthday, Cara!
Sorry we missed you, but we hope you have an awesome day.
—the Heartbreakers
All four boys signed it, the letters in their names dipping in and out in impressive loops. I was always jealous of celebrities’ signatures because they looked so perfect and special. Mine looked like a two-year-old wrote it.
When they were done, Drew rolled up the poster and tucked it underneath his arm. He lifted a hand and carved it through his hair, holding a bunch at the back for a moment before letting go and shaking his head. “I don’t know what to say,” he said. “Thank you so much.”
I knew exactly how he was feeling. No words could express how happy Cara would be when she saw her gift, and there was nothing more Drew and I wanted. This would be unforgettable for her, and we would never be able to properly thank the Heartbreakers for that.
“No problem,” Oliver said and smiled at Drew. It was one of those million-dollar smiles, just like the one that threw me off guard at Starbucks, and I gritted my teeth and looked away.
Oliver held out his hand for Drew to shake, and before I could get upset about having to leave, Xander pulled me into a smothering hug. He was so much taller than me that my face collided with his chest. “I’m glad we met,” he said as he squeezed the air out of me. “Even though you did scare the shit out of me in the elevator.”
I pulled away. “I scared you?”
Xander pushed his glasses back into place and nodded his head. “You were quite formidable.”
Next it was JJ’s turn to say good-bye. “Do I get a kiss now?” he asked me. I laughed and shook my head no. “Fine,” JJ said before quickly pecking me on the cheek. “I’ll just have to steal one.”
Then came Alec. I didn’t exactly know what to say to him, but I didn’t need to worry about it. He spoke first. “Can we talk privately for a moment?” His face was completely blank, making it impossible to know what he was thinking.
“Um, sure?” I said, cocking my head. What did Alec want to talk to me about that was so secret?
He led me into the kitchen where no one could overhear us. “Sorry,” he said then. “It’s just that I wanted to ask you a personal question.”
I shrugged, trying to hide my sudden apprehension. “Shoot.”
“You always have your camera with you,” he stated, pointing down at it.
My shoulders instantly relaxed. Of all the possibilities that had run through my head, my camera was not what I’d expected Alec to be curious about, but I didn’t mind. I could talk about photography all day long.
“Yeah,” I said and picked it up from where it hung around my neck. I ran my thumb over a row of controls.
“Why?” There were two little indents between his eyebrows as he frowned. His face was filled with concentration, like he was trying to solve a puzzle.
“Because I like taking pictures?” My response came out sounding like a question since I wasn’t completely sure what he was trying to get at.
His mouth turned up into a grin, and even though it was only a small one, it was one of the first I had seen from him. It lit up his face and made his normally stormy gray eyes look blue. “I know that,” he said as he studied me, “but I can tell that it means something more to you. It’s like…” Alec trailed off, trying to think of a way to explain what he meant. “I’m having a hard time thinking of a good example, but for instance, some people always wear a specific piece of jewelry and never take it off. It isn’t just an accessory, but a source of strength. You know what I mean?” As he explained, he twisted the cord of the headphones hanging around his neck.
I blinked, completely taken aback. From the start, I’d recognized that Alec was a quiet observer, the type of person who noticed everything. What I hadn’t realized was how perceptive he was. His guess was right on the money, so I decided he’d earned an explanation.
“I got into photography right about the time Cara got sick,” I told him, trying to find the right place to start. “I had to be strong for her, but that was really hard. One day I was a normal teenager and the next my sister was dying. The whole thing knocked me off balance, you know?
“I was a wreck on the inside because I was angry and afraid and all these other feelings I didn’t understand, so then I just started taking more and more pictures of, like, everything. But Cara was always my main subject. It was like I was trying to capture every single moment we had together in case—” I stopped, not wanting to finish my sentence.
But my story was spilling from me like a gushing fountain, and I started up again. “I don’t know. I guess it was just easier to hide behind the lens of my camera. Having it with me has become such a habit that I just feel weird without it.”
A silence passed between us. Alec looked at me funny, and then I realized what I’d just said. My hand flew to my mouth as a small gasp escaped my lips. I hadn’t meant to tell him that. It was like the words had left my mouth without me knowing.
But Alec didn’t have that sad look in his eyes that I’d become accustomed to over the past few years. Instead, he held my gaze with a look of understanding, almost as if he’d expected the truth all along. He’d figured out the puzzle.
“Thank you,” he said. His voice was low and quiet, and I knew he wouldn’t broach the subject again. “Can I ask you one more question? I promise it’s not as nosy as my first.”
“Okay,” I said and grabbed on to my camera.
“Could you send me the pictures you took tonight?” He held up a small piece of paper with what appeared to be an email address scribbled on it. “I’d like to have my own copies.”
“Oh,” I said and loosened my tight grip on my camera. I took the paper from his hand. “Of course. I’ll edit them and have them to you by the end of the week.”
Now Alec offered me his first full smile. “Thanks,” he said. “I’d really appreciate it.”
“Stella?” Oliver popped his head into the kitchen and smiled when he saw me. “There you are.”
“Tell your sister happy birthday for me,” Alec said and then moved out of the way so I could say good-bye to Oliver. Even though I hadn’t really been able to get to know him, I could tell that Alec was a genuinely nice guy.
“I will,” I told him, and then he was gone, leaving Oliver and me alone.
We were both silent as we studied one another. Finally, he reached up and tucked a piece of hair behind my ear. “I’m glad you yelled at us.”
“I—what?” This was a strange and confusing good-bye.
“In the elevator,” he clarified. “I can’t ever forget you now, can I?” My mouth opened, but I didn’t know what to say. A quarter-sized lump formed at the back of my throat, so I closed my mouth and didn’t say anything.
“Can I have your phone?” he asked suddenly.
“My phone?” I asked, but I pulled it out of my pocket anyway.
Oliver took it from me and started typing something in. “Here’s my number. Please don’t sell it to the tabloids for hundreds of dollars,” he joked.
“Your number?” No guy had ever given me his number before.
“I want you to call me, okay?” He handed it back after he finished punching his information in. “You promise to call?” I nodded my head, still unable to mutter a word. Oliver grasped both of my hands, his skin warm against mine. He rubbed his thumb in circles on my palm, just like he had when we were watching the movie.
“God, I don’t want to say good-bye to you.” He sighed as he looked down at me.
“Then don’t,” I finally said, wrapping my arms around his waist and pulling him into a hug. His hands snaked around my back in response, and I buried my face in his shoulder, my nose against his shirt. We stood there for a long moment, neither of us talking, and then someone cleared his throat behind us. I turned to see my brother standing in the kitchen doorway, and we detangled ourselves quickly.
“You ready, Stella?” he asked me.
“Yeah,” I responded, even though I was nowhere close to ready. When I turned to follow Drew, Oliver grabbed my wrist and pulled me back.
“You remember what I said?”
“Sell your number to the highest bidder?”
“Please call.”
“Okay.”
There was a knock on my door, and my dad pushed it open. “Hey, kiddo,” he said and leaned against the door frame.
“Hey,” I replied before flopping back on the bed. For the past hour, I had been moping around my bedroom.
“You sound tired.” Even though I couldn’t see his face, I could picture the frown lines etched into his forehead. My dad had developed the habit of being perpetually worried when Cara first got sick.
“Didn’t sleep well,” I told him.
Last night, when we got back from our trip, our parents told us the good news—Cara’s white blood cell count was doing better, and she was being released from the hospital. After that, I went straight to bed. Even though I was worn out, I had stared at the ceiling until early morning, unable to fall asleep. A certain boy had been on my mind.
“Too excited about Cara coming home?” he asked.
“Yeah, something like that.” I picked a spot on the ceiling and studied it, hoping that my dad wouldn’t hear my lie.
Oliver was the reason I couldn’t sleep, not Cara. He’d given me his number and asked me to call. Was today too soon? Would it make me look desperate? Maybe I should hold off for a few days. But if I waited too long, would it look like I wasn’t interested? Calling or not calling was all I could think about.
Was I a horrible sister because I was focused on Oliver Perry and not Cara? Yes, I was excited that she was coming home, but it didn’t mean her cancer was gone. She was still sick. And if there was one thing that I truly wanted, even more than a chance to spend more time with Oliver Perry, it was for my sister to get better.
“Well, your brother and I helped her into the kitchen. Mom is making breakfast.”
“Mom is cooking?” I sat up on the bed. My mom wasn’t much of a chef. She could make Easy Mac and PB&J, but normally family meals were my dad’s responsibility.
“Attempting to. I should probably go help her before the pancakes turn into a scrambled mess.” Cara could live off pancakes, so it was no surprise that my mom wanted to make them. Syrup was practically a food group in our house.
“Scramcakes,” I said with a smile.
“Yeah, we don’t want that,” he said, laughing.
As my dad turned to leave, Drew stuck his head into the room. “Hey, Stella, Cara keeps asking where we were the last two days. Can we just give our present to her now?” He was bouncing up and down, and I could tell that he couldn’t wait to see her reaction.
“Sure thing,” I said and got off the bed. “Let me just get everything together.”
“Okay. There are some birthday gift bags in the hall closet if you want to wrap everything up.”
After grabbing a gift bag covered in glitter and tucking all the signed merchandise inside, I headed to the kitchen. My mom and dad were by the stove, and the smell of breakfast filled the room.
“Stella!” Cara called and patted the chair next to her. She was at the table with Drew and they’d started playing Rummy 500, our family’s favorite card game. Dad had taught us how to play when we were little, and we’d been perfecting our own personal strategies ever since. Drew was the best out of the three of us, but I hated playing with Cara the most. Over the years, she’d earned the nickname The Scooper, because of her infuriating knack for scooping up the discard pile just when you wanted it the most.
“Hey, you,” I said and smiled back. Cara was always buying wigs, and today she was sporting an edgy pixie cut. “Looking sassy today.”
“You like?” She fluffed up the fake hair. “I think it brings out my rebellious side.”
“Since when do you have a rebellious side?” Drew asked and shot her a skeptical look. It wasn’t that Cara was a goody two-shoes, but with her illness, she didn’t have the opportunity that normal teenagers did to break the rules.
“Well, for starters, I’ve already looked at your hand twice. It would be really nice if you laid down the queen of hearts,” she answered innocently.
I burst out laughing and sat down.
My mom turned when she heard me. She had flour in her hair and on her face. “Morning, honey,” she said with a smile. “Want a pancake?”
“I don’t know,” I said, trying not to laugh. “Did you make them?”
“No,” my mom grumbled and waved the spatula at me. “Your dad took over. He was mumbling something about scramcakes.”
“All right, I’ll take one.”
“Thanks for the love and support,” my mom said. Nevertheless, she took a plate down from the cabinets and held it out for my dad to scoop one perfectly golden cake onto. The syrup and orange juice were already on the table, so she only grabbed a fork before setting the breakfast in front of me.
“Thanks, Mom,” I said happily and dug in.
“Who’s that for?” Cara asked when she finally spotted the gift bag.
“Yum, this is great, Dad,” I told him through a full mouth. When I swallowed and set down my fork, I turned to Cara. “Possibly for a nosy sister.”
“Ohhh!” she exclaimed and wiggled her eyebrows in excitement.
“It’s your birthday present,” Drew added.
“Is the nosy, yet completely charming sister allowed to open her present?” she asked.
“I suppose so.”
“Yay!” Cara gushed and clapped her hands together. When I pushed the bag across the table to her, Drew scooted away in caution. Cara was about to flip.
Cara pulled out the tour T-shirt first. When she unfolded it, she smiled. “Aww, thanks, guys. I love the Heartbreakers.” I could tell that she was trying to be nice, since she thought we had gotten her a T-shirt that she already had.
“You’re welcome,” I said. “When did you get a hole in the armpit?”
Cara shrugged. “Oh, it’s been there since—” She stopped suddenly and then flipped over the sleeve to see if it really was her own shirt. Frowning, Cara looked back and forth between the two of us. “I don’t get it. You’re giving me my shirt?”
“Your new and improved shirt,” I told her with a smirk.
She looked confused for a moment before something finally clicked in her head. “No way!” she said in disbelief and flipped the shirt over to inspect it. There in black Sharpie were the boys’ names.
“Oh my freaking God!” Cara screamed. “This is amazing. No, this is better than amazing. This is like Christmas on steroids!” She was so excited that she didn’t know what to do with herself. First she squeezed the shirt to her chest before deciding to pull it on over the one that she was already wearing.
“Thank you guys so much,” Cara said, looking at both of us. She acted like she was going to cry. “You totally win best birthday present this year.”
“You haven’t even finished opening it yet,” I pointed out.
“There’s more?” She tore into the rest of the bag, squealing with glee each time she pulled out another one of her signed belongings.
“I don’t remember this one,” Cara said when she unrolled the poster that Xander had given us.
“It’s not out yet,” Drew told her. “Xander said it’s going to be in the next issue of
Tiger
Beat
.”
“He gave this to you?” Cara exclaimed, her eyes practically popping out of her head. “You say that like you know him.”
For a moment, I think Drew forgot that we were talking to Cara, a.k.a. the crazy Heartbreakers stalker. “Well, yeah, we hung out with them Saturday night.”
Cara spent the next few hours interrogating us about the Heartbreakers. After Drew mentioned that we had hung out with the band, my sister made us share every detail about our trip. As a punishment for his slip, I made Drew do the retelling. While he told the story, I let Cara flip through my camera. I had recorded most of the night. There were a few pictures of Oliver cooking, shots from the pool, a video of one of the chicken fights, and of course the pictures I had taken of Oliver at Starbucks.
“So, who has the prettiest eyes?” Cara asked as she watched the chicken-fight video for the tenth time.
Drew raised an eyebrow. “You’re really not asking me that, are you?”
Cara set the camera down before resting her elbows on the table and propping her head up in her hands. “In my opinion it’s JJ,” she said dreamily.
“I don’t know,” Drew said and rolled his eyes. “I was leaning more toward Alec.”
“What do you think, Stella?” Cara asked as she continued to stare off into space. My thoughts went immediately to Oliver, but I wasn’t going to tell her that. After years of trying to convince me that the Heartbreakers were “so hot” there was no way I would admit to Cara that she had been right all along.
Drew smirked at me. “No contest there.” Then he traced a heart in the air with his fingers.
“Shut up!” I hissed and gave him a hefty kick to the shins under the table.
“What the heck, Stella?” he complained and rubbed his sore leg. “That hurt.”
Cara snapped out of her daydream and turned to me. “Huh? What are you guys talking about?”
“Absolutely nothing,” I lied and looked away so she couldn’t see the pink forming on my cheeks.
“Bullshit,” Drew coughed.
“Do you want another kick?” I threatened.
“Okay, you have to tell me now,” Cara said and clicked her manicured nails across the table impatiently. I glared at my brother, daring him to say something. “Stella?” Cara asked.
I kept my mouth shut, and Drew and I continued our silent staring contest. Finally he looked down. I thought I had won and for a moment I silently celebrated a victory, but then he smiled wickedly.
“OliverPerrygaveStellahisnumber!” He spoke so fast that his words blended together. I almost didn’t understand, and by the time I did, Drew had jumped out of his chair and well away from my foot.
Cara giggled. “No, really. What are you guys talking about?”
“‘Please call me, Stella,’” Drew mocked.
I gritted my teeth together. “I am going to kill you, Drew!”
“Oh. My. God,” Cara said slowly. She looked back and forth between us. “He wasn’t joking?”
When neither of us said anything, Cara had the confirmation she wanted. “Holy shit! Oliver Perry gave you his number? You’re such a lucky bitch. Oh my God, can I see it?”
For someone who wasn’t very mobile, Cara was adept at launching herself toward my pocket where my phone was tucked away. I pulled my cell out of my jeans, and she snatched it away before I could blink. While Cara was searching through my phone, I flipped Drew off.
“Where is it?” Cara demanded. “You guys weren’t lying, were you?”
“No,” I said as my cheeks turned red. “It’s under ‘Starbucks boy.’”
Cara eagerly flipped through the numbers again until she found Oliver. “Wow,” she said slowly. “That’s really it?”
“Yeah,” I answered, feeling slightly uncomfortable. Cara was staring at my phone like it was a miracle from heaven.
“So have you called him?” she asked. I could tell she was doing everything in her power to keep from hitting the call button.
“No,” I muttered.
“Oh my God. Okay, so when you do, you need to tell me everything. Do you think it would be weird if I said hi? I know he doesn’t know me, but come on. You know I’m like the Heartbreakers’ biggest fan,” Cara gushed.
“Sure, no problem,” I said quietly.
Sensing my discomfort, Drew switched the subject as he sat back down at the table with another plate of pancakes. “Okay, moving on to something way more important than a phone number. What do we want to do for our birthday on Friday?”
Thank
you
, I mouthed to Drew even though it didn’t make up for him being a jerk.
For our birthday, I wanted to do something simple so we wouldn’t have to worry about Cara. Last year had been perfect since we spent the day on the beach. Our aunt and uncle own a cottage on the ocean in South Carolina, and my entire family flew out to visit them for a whole week.
We played sand volleyball and Frisbee with our cousins—Cara cheering from the side—and swam in the cool water. For breakfast, lunch, and dinner we munched on fresh watermelon and sipped lemonade. When it got dark, we built a bonfire in the sand and roasted marshmallows as the waves crashed against the shore in a soothing nighttime song.
“We could go to the movies,” Drew offered and shrugged his shoulders.
“That’s so boring,” Cara whined as she spun my phone in circles on the tabletop.
As much as I agreed with Cara, I couldn’t think of something to do that was a perfect combination of safe and exciting. “A movie could be fun,” I said slowly. “Didn’t that one thriller just come out?”
“I don’t like thrillers,” Cara complained. She turned to Drew. “Besides, didn’t you say that you would never go to the movies with me again?”
“What?” he asked.
“Oh yeah,” I said and snorted. “Remember the
Twilight
premiere?”
“Oh God,” Drew said and buried his face in his hands. “Don’t remind me.”
Cara had been so excited about the opening of
Twilight
that she dragged Drew to the midnight showing with her. But that hadn’t been the worst of it. She dressed up as Alice and forced Drew to be Edward. After the movie, he had run into his crush from school, his face covered in sparkling glitter.
“We looked so perfect,” Cara said, remembering the event fondly.
“You put powder on my face,” Drew said, irritated. “I looked like an idiot.”
“And that’s different from any other day?” I said. “I think I have a picture of you on my computer somewhere.”
“Okay, never mind,” Drew grumbled. “We’re not doing a movie.”