The Heartbreaker Series: Books 1-3 (48 page)

“I can’t have children.” It comes out as a whisper.

“What?” he asks, leaning closer.

I’ve told the story so many times now in the last few weeks that it’s become easier. Of course, just easier telling it, but I still feel all of the pain. I tell him about my dream to have a house full of children, the fibroids, the surgery and the emergency hysterectomy. Somehow we’ve moved to a park bench and we’re sitting side by side.

“After seeing you with that little boy at your studio, I just freaked. If what we were building before lasted, you’d want a family, and I can’t give you that.” I pick at the skin around my thumbnail.

He doesn’t say anything. He just sits back, staring straight ahead. It feels like a long time before he speaks, and when he does, it’s not what I expected.

“I have to get back to my friends. Thanks for explaining things.” And, just like that, he’s gone. The tears blur my vision as I watch his retreating back.

I slide my sunglasses back onto my face and walk numbly to my car. I barely remember driving back to my hotel.

On autopilot, I make my way up to my room. Once inside, I climb onto the king-sized bed and curl in on myself as the sobs come. I guess this is karma coming to bite me on the ass. I’ve always been the one to reject the men in my life, so it’s only fair that the one I want rejects me.

Why does it have to hurt so badly? I grab my phone and shoot Nico a text, asking him to change my return flight to the soonest one possible.

Almost immediately, my phone starts ringing, but I hit ignore and send him a text stating that I do not want to talk. I just beg him to please help me come home. His return text has my flight number and is set for tomorrow evening. Maybe I’ll go lay out by the pool.

In the bathroom, I wash the makeup off of my face and change into the two-piece I brought. I slip the cover-up over it and slide my feet back in my flip-flops.

My eyes are red and puffy, so I put my sunglasses on, grab a towel, and make my way down to the fourth floor pool deck. I grab a bottle of water from the bar and make my way to the lounge chairs. I find one that is on the end, lay my towel down, and recline back on the chair.

The sun beats down on my skin as I think about earlier. I shouldn’t have come. I should’ve waited until he was home and talked to him then. My eyes drift shut as I try to blank my mind because crying in public is not an option.

My stomach growls so loudly, it wakes me up. I look at my phone and see that I’ve been out here for a couple of hours. I slip my flip-flops back on, grab my towel, head to the bar, and order some food to be brought up to my room. Maybe tonight I’ll go for a walk around the bay, maybe treat myself to a nice dinner.

The elevator doors open and I step off on my floor. A nice, long hot shower is going to feel so good. Maybe it’ll wash some of my sadness away. I’m walking toward my door when I see him sitting on the floor, his back against the wall.

“Brian?” His head jerks up and then he’s on his feet. “What’re you doing here?” I try to keep my voice steady, which is no easy feat considering the emotions swirling around inside me.

I walk around him, sticking my key card into the slot. He follows me inside and still hasn’t said anything. I throw my stuff down on the side table and walk over to the window, staring blindly into the distance.

“Why didn’t you just tell me all of this before? Do I seem like the type of man that would push you away for something you had no control over?” He grabs my arm and turns me so I’m facing him.

“No, but I didn’t want you to regret being with me five years down the road when you’d want children. Brian, you’re the first man that I’ve truly been able to see a future with and that’s scary for me. I understand that I’ve ruined this,” I motion between the two of us, “but I just wanted you to have all of the information. I wanted you to know why I pulled away and to tell you I’m sorry.”

His silence is unnerving, but then he reaches out and cups my cheek. My eyes drift shut as the warmth of his palm spreads through me. I’m an emotional mess. My eyes burn, and a single tear slips down my cheek. Brian wipes it away with his thumb.

“I know we hadn’t been together long, and I know I told you we could only be friends, but the feelings I have for you are so much stronger than friendship.” I open my eyes and look up at him. “You’re my best friend, Brian. Not talking to you these past couple weeks has been awful. If it’s only friendship you can give me, I’ll take it. If I can’t have you in my life romantically, I just need you in my life period.”

Brian bends down until our foreheads are touching. I grab on to the sides of his face. “I’m in love with you, Mila. I swear I think I fell in love with you the first time I saw you. I’ve missed you so much.”

Before I can respond, his lips are on mine.

His tongue licks at the seam of my lips as I open to him, letting him inside. He pushes me up against the window, his tongue dueling with mine. I’ve missed this—I’ve missed the taste of him, the feel of his lips against mine. His hand slides down to my breast, where he kneads it, tweaking the nipple through my bikini top. A moan escapes from deep in my throat.

From there, we rip the clothes from our bodies and move together toward the bed. Our lips separate only so I can rip Brian’s shirt off. I fall back, and Brian follows me down. I cradle his hips with my thighs and feel that his cock is hard. I untie my bikini. He growls at the sight of my breasts and immediately moves down to suck one tip into his mouth.

My back arches up off of the mattress as I grip the back of his head. “Brian,” I moan. My breasts have a direct line to my clit because with every pull of Brian’s mouth, I feel myself getting more and more wet.

He moves further and further down my body until he reaches the apex of my thighs. He buries his nose and inhales, groaning against my pussy. He grabs the sides of my bikini bottoms and slides them down and off.

With the first swipe of his tongue, my hips come off of the bed. It doesn’t take long before I’m coming hard. Brian kisses up my body until he’s lined up right at my entrance.

“Baby, I don’t have a condom,” he says against my lips.

“That’s okay. I’m clean. You don’t have to worry.” It’s not like I’ll get pregnant.

“I’m clean too.” That’s all I need to hear before I force myself up until I’m impaled on his cock. I wrap my arms around him as he starts to move inside me.

“I’ve missed you,” I whisper into his ear.

Brian freezes and looks down at me with his beautiful brown eyes. “I’ve fucking missed you.” He rests his forehead against mine as he begins to move.

Slowly, our bodies rock together as I feel myself spiral toward another orgasm. Brian kisses me thoroughly as I grab his muscled ass. He pounds harder and harder into me.

The warm sensation starts to build, and he reaches between us to rub my clit until I explode around him. He starts pounding into me until he holds himself flush against me, groaning into my neck.

Chapter Eleven

Brian

Mila sleeps quietly next to me, and I reach out to brush her hair out of her face. I can’t even begin to describe what it felt like when I saw her down at the beach. She was breathtaking, but then I had to remind myself that she walked out on me. I wasn’t going to go after her, but then that little voice inside of me told me I’d regret it if I didn’t.

To say I was floored by her confession would be an understatement. It broke my heart that she thought I wouldn’t want to be with her if she couldn’t give me children. That she even thought about us having children warmed my insides.

I wasn’t sure what I was going to do when I got up and walked away from her yesterday. I was conflicted because I could understand her actions, but the fact that she felt she couldn’t share that with me was a little hard to take. Nathan was the one who was most vocal and convinced me to find her and talk to her. Cora didn’t try to hide her opinion either and told me that if I didn’t talk to Mila, I’d be sleeping on the front stoop.

I kiss her bare shoulder and inhale her flowery scent. After we made love the first time, we shared the room service that she ordered and then we fucked in one of the funky gray chairs in the room. After, we took a nice, long bubble bath. We ended up a tangle of arms and legs on the bed and passed out.

My head rests in my hand as I watch her sleep. The sun is just starting to rise, causing an orange hue to color the room. My body still thinks it’s back home, so even though it’s only six in the morning, my body thinks it’s eight.

I very carefully slide out of bed and grab my boxer briefs off of the floor, slipping them on before heading into the bathroom to take a piss. After I finish, I wash my hands and brush my teeth. I call downstairs and order coffee and breakfast for us.

Mila is sitting up in bed when I walk back into the room. I slide back in and wrap my arms around her. She snuggles into me and kisses my neck. “I was afraid I dreamt that you were here,” she mumbles against my skin.

“I’m here, baby.” I fall back, taking her with me. I’m lying on my back. She pushes up and looks down at me with a sleepy smile on her face. She bends down and kisses my lips.

We lie snuggled together until our room service arrives. Mila and I take turns feeding each other and talking quietly. She’s being very touchy feely and I honestly love it. I watch as she brings her coffee cup up to her lips and takes a fortifying sip. I reach out with my thumb to swipe the little drop that rests on her lower lip.

“When do you go home?” I ask.

“My flight leaves at six tonight. Now I don’t want to leave, but I’ve already changed my flight once. How much longer are you here for?”

She takes a bite out of a huge, red, juicy looking strawberry.

“I’m here three more days. I can change my flight and come home with you.”

I reach out and grip the back of her neck to pull her toward me. I lick the dribble of juice that’s running down her lip.

“No, you should stay. I don’t want to take away from your time with your friends.”

“Okay, but let’s take your rental back. Come meet Nathan and Cora, and then I’ll take you to the airport later.”

“Are you sure? I don’t want to intrude.”

I slip both of my hands into her silky locks. I grip her hair at the base of her skull and pull her toward me.

“No, it’s cool, they’re cool. I really want you to meet them, and they want to meet you too.”

***

I was able to leave Mila alone long enough for her to take a shower, do her makeup, get dressed, and then pack her suitcase. She looks like a beautiful gypsy. Her hair is a mass of wild, dark curls. She’s wearing a dress similar to the one she wore the day before: long and flowy with spaghetti straps. Jeweled sandals grace her pretty feet.

“You look beautiful,” I tell her as she zips up her carry-on bag.

“
Grazie
.” I kiss her before grabbing her bag. Hand in hand, we make our way downstairs so she can settle her bill. She tells me which car rental place to go to and I kiss her again before heading to my rental.

Following behind Mila, I give Nathan a quick call to let him know that I’m bringing Mila over. “That’s great, man. We can’t wait to meet her. Cora’s going to put together stuff for lunch. Just take it slow. We don’t want to see you get hurt.”

“I know, man, but I’m in love with her. I don’t know if I can go slow.”

It’s the truth. All I want to do is go whole hog into this, but I’m worried that she’ll get spooked again and I don’t want to lose her.

“Whatever happens, you know I’ll be here for you.”

I hang up as I pull into the parking lot of the rental place and wait for Mila while she disappears inside. When she comes out, I notice a couple of the guys working around the cars stop and watch her walk by. I want to get out and knock their fucking heads off. When she climbs in, I realize I’m gripping the steering wheel so tight my knuckles are white.

As we drive toward Nathan’s house, she grabs my hand. “So, tell me about Nathan?”

For the rest of the ride, I tell her about Nathan and me clicking when we met. We were the skinny nerds in the sixth grade who the bullies loved to pick on. He joined karate with me, and where I’m lean, he’s built like a linebacker. He’s still a big nerd, but he doesn’t look like it.

“We’ve been friends ever since. It’s hard now with them living so far away, but we talk, email, and Skype when we’re able. He’s a software engineer and works crazy hours, but he does really well. He met Cora the first week he moved here. She’s great. You’re going to love her.” I pull into the driveway and meet Mila at the front of my car.

Her smile is strained, and I can tell she’s nervous. I wrap my arm around her shoulders as we make our way toward the door.

“Hey guys.” Nathan greets us from the doorway with his little girl on his hip.

“
Ciao
, I’m Mila. It’s a pleasure to meet you.” She reaches out to shake his hand and then rubs Caitlyn’s little head too. “
Ciao, bambina
.”

“It’s nice to meet you, Mila. Come on in. Whatever stories Brian’s told you is a complete fucking lie.” As we follow him, Cora yells out for Nate to watch his language.

Lunch was amazing. I knew it would be. Cora and Mila got along great and talked a lot about books, art, and music. I’d never admit it to Mila that watching her with Caitlyn broke my heart a little now that I know she’ll never get to experience carrying a child of her own, but there are so many other options out there. If and when we get to that point, God I hope we do, I’ve got the connections to help us along.

Now we’re sitting in the parking lot at the airport. I don’t want her to go, but she didn’t want to have to change her flight again and she didn’t want to take away from my visit with Nathan. I get out of the car and grab her bags out of the backseat. She gets out and holds my hand as we make our way toward the doors. We’re both quiet, but it’s a comfortable silence.

She checks in and we make it to the point where we have to part ways. “I don’t want to go,” she whispers.

“I don’t want you to go either.”

I drop her bags between us, grab her face, and pull her to me. I kiss her with everything I have. She wraps her hands around my waist and opens her mouth to me. My tongue brushes against hers, and her moan vibrates against my mouth. It’s not until someone wolf-whistles at us that we pull away from each other.

“You better go. I don’t want you to miss your flight. Make sure you text me or call me when you land.”

“Okay, I will. How did you get to the airport at home?” She looks up at me with those eyes that suck me in every time.

“My dad. Why?”

“I’ll pick you up, if that’s okay.” She bites lightly into her bottom lip with her pearly white teeth.

“I’d love it. I’ll text you my flight info. Now go before I don’t let you.”

She pushes up on her tiptoes to kiss me one more time before picking up her bags and walking away. I watch her as she makes her way toward security, not leaving until she turns and gives me a wave and then disappears.

I’m a fucking sap because the whole way back to my rental I feel like I’m walking on cloud nine. All I can hope is that when I get home, things will still be just as good.

***

The plane begins its descent and I’m filled with nervous anticipation. Mila and I have talked, but not often. She said she didn’t want to take away from my time with Nathan and his family, but she did text often. I’ve never been into sexting, but the night before we had our first session, and honest to God it was fun.

My last night in San Diego, Nathan and I stayed out late, drinking beer and shooting the shit. Neither of us was in any condition to drive, so we called Uber. When we got back to his place, we ate some leftovers and then went to bed.

I stuck my earbuds in my ears as soon as I heard Nathan and Cora’s bed start knocking against the wall. While I listened to music, I texted Mila, not even knowing if she was up or not, but hoping she was.

Up?

Si, just lying in bed reading. What are you doing?

Just got back to Nathan’s. We went out tonight had a few beers. What are you wearing?

I don’t know why I asked her that, but I went with it.

Well…I’m wearing a tiny tank top and little silk panties.

Oh really. You should touch yourself for me.

At first she didn’t respond, and I worried that I took it too far, again.

I’m so wet for you. Are you touching yourself?

My hand immediately went to my dick, which was hard as a rock. I began stroking it slowly. I could already tell that it wasn’t going to take me long.

I’m close already baby. Are you going to come for me?

I waited for her response as I continued to stroke my dick.

Si, I’m stroking my clit for you. I wish I was there to suck your cock. I’d run my tongue up and down it and then I’d swirl my tongue around the tip. I’d stroke your balls until you were begging me to stop.

Oh yeah! If I was there I’d lick your pussy and stroke your g-spot until you were coming so hard.

I didn’t hear anything for a few minutes from her, but it didn’t stop the tingle that starts at the base of my spine and shoots up my balls. I covered my mouth to keep from groaning as I came all over my stomach. It took a minute to catch my breath. I picked up my phone and smiled when I saw the text from Mila.

Oh my God, that was amazing. I’ve never come like that before.

We texted back and forth for a few more minutes before saying goodnight. I told her that I’d see her tomorrow in the afternoon.

The pilot comes over the speakers and says that we’re preparing to land. I called Mila this morning, and she said she would meet me at baggage claim. Is it sad that I’ve missed her the entire three days I haven’t seen her? My leg bounces up and down as the plane taxis to the gate.

As soon as the
‘fasten your seatbelt’
sign shuts off, I grab my bag out of the overhead bin and slowly make my way toward the front of the plane. Once I’m off, I can’t walk fast enough toward baggage claim. I’m practically running down the escalator to get there faster.

When I reach the baggage claim and see her, a warm feeling spreads through me when she spots me and her mouth stretches into a wide grin. Before I know what’s happening, we’re running to each other like two long lost lovers.

“
Amore mio,
”
she shouts before launching herself at me. I hold on tight as she wraps her legs around my waist and her arms around my shoulders. “Have I told you that I find it incredibly sexy when you wear your glasses? If I haven’t, then you should know that I do.” Her lips are on mine and her tongue is in my mouth.

Our kiss, unfortunately, doesn’t last long, but I know there will be more. She wraps her arm around my waist and I wrap my arm around her shoulders as we make our way outside to her car. She hands me her keys, and as we head to my place, I tell her about the rest of my trip.

Once we’re at my place, it doesn’t take long before we’re both naked and she’s sinking down on my cock, riding me until we’re both coming together. With me still inside her, she lays down on my chest, snuggling close. My hands glide up and down her back as a sense of peace washes over me.