The Heart of Tomorrow (Book Two) (The Tomorrow Series 2) (2 page)

“It’s not a bad thing at all.”

His voice was low and rugged as he stroked my cheek with his fingertips, staring down at me.  The cocky grin from earlier was gone and I knew what he wanted.  I’d become accustomed to the look of want in his eyes over the course of our relationship.  It was always there.  I could feel the need when we were together and I missed it when we weren’t.  He was looking at me with that longing now.

His fingertips left my cheek and crawled around my neck to bury themselves deep in my auburn hair as he pulled me to him.  His mouth was on mine a second later, our lips brushing over each other, slow and deep.  His kisses had a way of consuming me…of making me forget where I was…of wanting to do anything he asked of me. This time was no different and as he scooped me up effortlessly in his arms, I didn’t protest. 

We were in the bedroom a moment later and he was laying me on the softness of the gray comforter.  He stood at edge of the bed, staring down at me and I watched as he slowly began to unbutton his shirt.  Each button seemed to take an eternity, but finally, he was sliding it off, draping it on the desk chair behind him, and then he stood before me, his strong arms coming towards me.  I knew I was breathing harder than I should have been. I should’ve at least tried to be discreet about the way I reacted to him, but I’d tried restraining myself when it came to Drew and I’d quickly learned that it was nearly impossible.  He knew what he did to me and I no longer tried to fight it.

He must’ve noticed the change in my breathing because a wry grin spread over his face as he reached under the skirt of my dress, his hands sliding up my thighs slower than I would’ve liked.  Drew knew exactly what to do to me.  He knew how to prolong the want to a point of near combustion and I knew that was his intention now. 

When he finally reached the top of my tights, my muscles twitched when his fingers crawled under and he began rolling them down, slowly just as I knew he would, until finally they were off.  I wished he would’ve just thrown them on the floor and got on with it, but he knew that was what I wanted and he grinned down at me as he neatly folded the tights before placing them on the desk and then turning his attention back to me. 

He held his hand out and I reached for him.  His touch was always so warm and he pulled me up until I was standing.  He was brushing a strand of hair off my forehead and then kissed me sweetly where his fingers had just been.  He reached down then and was inching my dress up.  He didn’t have to ask.  My hands rose and he pulled it over my head and then I felt his touch on my shoulders, turning me from him.  He swept my hair away, planting delicate kisses on my neck, the need growing to the point I almost couldn’t take it. He turned me towards him again and our eyes locked and the grin was gone, replaced with a serious line.  He eased me onto the bed, the heaviness of his body on top of mine causing my breathing to quicken even more as his hands moved over me, tangling in my hair as he kissed me with such force I couldn’t think straight. I thought I should be embarrassed that I lost all my inhibitions around him, but I wasn’t.  It wasn’t like that with Drew.  He made me feel beautiful and with him, I believed I was. I opened my eyes to find him focused on me and me on him and when it was over, he clung to me, burying his face in my hair that was pooled around my neck.  He was trying to catch his breath just as I was and I held him tightly until our breathing had finally calmed. 

“I don’t know how you do that to me every time,” he whispered, still nuzzled in my hair.

I smiled to myself, getting an incredible amount of pleasure from the fact that someone as ordinary as me could have that kind of effect on someone like Drew, someone far from ordinary. 

He suddenly sat up, staring down at me, his mouth curled up into a satisfied grin. 

“I love you,” he said, leaning down and kissing the tip of my nose.

“And I love you,” I smiled back at him and I was disappointed when he eased himself off of me so we were both lying on our backs, staring at the ceiling.  He pulled me to him so my head was resting on his chest, his arm wrapped protectively around me and we laid in silence for a long while, which was fine with me.  Being with him was all I wanted.  I didn’t need any words, I just needed him. 

“I’ve been wanting to talk to you about something,” he said, his soft voice breaking the tranquility we’d been wrapped in.

I sat up, propping myself so I was looking at him while my arm remained draped on his chest. 

“What about?”

He had on his poker face so I had no idea if this was a good thing or not.

“Well,” he began and I thought I detected nerves in his voice, which in turn made me nervous because Drew was a lot of things, but nervous usually wasn’t one of those. “Next weekend is my mother’s sixty-fifth birthday. I’d like you to come to Connecticut with me to celebrate.”

I didn’t say anything.  I didn’t know what to say.  I’d only met his family one time…the night it ended between Ethan and me…the night I’d moved in with Drew.  His parents had been nice enough, but his sister, Christina, had been a downright bitch.  I wasn’t even sure he’d told his family about me.  Drew didn’t talk to his family that often and I liked the bubble we had here in the city.  It was just us, but he obviously wanted to change that.

“Do your parents even know about us?” I asked him.

“A little.”

“What exactly does that mean…a little?”

“They know I’m seeing someone, which is why my mom was relentless that we come to the party.”

“They know you’re seeing someone, but they don’t know it’s me?”

“I don’t discuss my personal life with my family.”

“Then why do you want me to go with you?”

“Because,” he said, the grin reappearing on his face as he urged me towards him, kissing me slowly, biting my lower lip playfully before pulling away. “I think it’s time I start sharing my personal life…you, with my family.”

I don’t know why, but I felt a lump form in my throat from the implication of his words.  He wanted me to know his family.  He wanted them to know about us and that meant more to me than anything he’d ever done for me. 

“Is everything all right, Natalie?” he asked me, his eyebrow creasing, obviously noticing the change in my disposition.

“Yeah,” I said quietly. “I’m just surprised you want me to get to know your family.”

“Why does that surprise you?” he said, sitting up so he was propped against the pillows. “You’re special to me.” He smoothed my hair and then his fingers twisted in it, pulling me closer to him, his eyes piercing mine. “I want them to know you because I’ve never met anyone so worth knowing.”

“Are you sure?” I whispered and he leaned in, kissing me sweetly, pulling back and looking at me with a warm smile

“I am.  Now, will you?  Will you come to Connecticut with me?”

“Of course I will,” I responded softly and he smiled, kissing me again.

Two

The weekend had gone by too quickly as it always did.  If it were up to me, I’d be back in the apartment, lounging with Drew with nothing to do but focus on each other.  Unfortunately, that wasn’t real life.  Real life was work, which is where I found myself.  I’d finished up an initial proofing of a story for the evening news, this time on a robbery in a convenience store in The Bronx. I’d ignored my growling stomach long enough and once I’d hit the save button, I went to the fridge in the break room to get my lunch: leftover eggplant parmesan Drew had made for dinner.

“Natalie, do you have a sec?” Ava’s voice called from behind. I turned away from where I’d been watching my lunch twirl around like a carousel in the microwave. She was peeking her head into the doorway, motioning for me to follow her.

“Of course,” I said, leaving my eggplant to finish the ride on its own, following her down the hall and into her office.

“Sit,” she said, gesturing to a chair. I did as she said and looked at her across her desk. She had a pleasant look on her face, so I wasn’t worried. “Sorry to interrupt your lunch and I won’t keep you, but I wanted to give you some good news.” She smiled at me and my curiosity was piqued. “You’ve passed your probation.”

I felt the corners of my mouth curl up into a smile, growing wider as I digested her words.

“That
is
good news,” I said, trying to keep my excitement contained to a professional level.

“I’ve enjoyed working with you, Natalie. You do good work and I look forward to seeing what else you can do. Now,” she said with another grin, “go enjoy your lunch.”

“Thank you, Ava,” I said, standing up and wondering if I should extend my hand across the desk to her in thanks, but I decided against it and turned around to head back to the break room, suddenly too excited to eat. 

~~~

I was still on a high when the end of the day came. I had no plans to stay late and soon I’d hailed a cab, heading Downtown.  I stepped out in front of building 435, making my way inside, right past the grumpy security guard and into the elevators.  I made the familiar ascent to the fourteenth floor and got out when the doors opened, Taylor and Saben greeting me in fancy script above the reception area.  It hadn’t been that long since I left as an employee.  It felt a little strange whenever I’d return because I didn’t work there anymore.  I’d gotten used to the peculiar gazes I got from the staff now that I was Drew’s girlfriend.  Of course, no one ever said anything, but I’d be an idiot if I hadn’t noticed the way they looked at me now. 

“Hi, Christa,” I said to the receptionist, who looked up, greeting me with a smile. “Is Drew here?”

“He is.  He just got back actually.”

“Thank you,” I said, signing into the guest register and then making my way through the office.  Everyone was busy working as usual.  I glided past Leslie’s office, not bothering to check if she was inside.  Even though I was with Drew now and the office manager no longer had any place in my life, she still wasn’t my favorite person and I did my best not to have to talk to her. 

I saw my old desk a moment later and then Court and Anna Beth came into view.  Each time I came to the office, I was reminded how much I missed it, and while I wished the vacant desk was still mine sometimes, I wouldn’t go back because that would mean I wouldn’t be with Drew.  Plus, it seemed as if I might finally be finding my own path, which made the void of Taylor and Saben in my life a little more tolerable.

“Look what the cat dragged in,” Court said when he looked up from his computer and saw me approaching.

“Hey!” I said, enthusiastically, leaning down and hugging Court before walking over and giving Anna Beth one as well. 

“You’re in an awfully good mood.  Did you get laid this morning or something?” he teased and I slapped him on the arm. 

“You are completely inappropriate, Court.”

“You do know he’s nearly impossible to deal with now that you’re gone.  I’m sure Drew would hire you back.  Please talk to him about it,” Anna Beth complained and I laughed.

“Speaking of Drew, is he in his office?” I asked and she nodded.

“He just got back from a meeting.  He seemed a little pissy actually,” Court chimed in. “Go in and cheer him up please.”

“I’ll do my best,” I grinned and then proceeded to his closed office door.  I couldn’t see what he was doing due to the frosted glass, but I knocked and heard him mumble for me to come in.  I couldn’t help but notice he sounded bothered and when I opened the door, peeking inside, he was at his desk, concentrating intently, his brow creased. 

“Hey,” I said and he looked up, his face softening when he saw me.

“Natalie.” The despondency I’d heard in his voice earlier was gone and he stood up, making his way towards me, shutting the door so we were alone. “What are you doing here?”

“Should I go?”

“No,” he said quickly and before I knew what he was doing, his arm had slid around my waist, pulling me to him so I was instantly hit with the smell of his cologne and the softness of his expensive sweater. “I’m glad you’re here.” He was kissing me a second later, slow and deep, the way that made me forget about everything else in the world.  I wasn’t ready for him to pull away, but he did, leaving me wanting more as he often did. “How was your day?”

“It was actually really great,” I told him and I watched as one of his eyebrows raised in curiosity. 

“Really great?  I don’t think you’ve ever described your day as really great.  Why the cause for such an explosive adjective?”

“Well,” I teased. “Ava informed me I passed my probation. I’m an official employee with all the perks!”

A smile spread on his face as he looked at me and I noticed the soft lines at the corners of his eyes.  He always looked at me with a kindness and devotion I didn’t understand.

“Seriously?” he asked and I nodded. “I’m so happy for you, Natalie.” He leaned in, hugging me tightly before letting go, heading back to his desk, grabbing his briefcase, sliding on his coat and making his way back to me. “We need to celebrate.”

“No, we don’t.  You’re busy.”

“Not too busy for this.  Work can wait.”

I knew better than to argue with him.  He’d made that perfectly clear from the moment I’d met him and his persistence had only gotten stronger.  Because of this, I didn’t argue as he took my hand, leading me out of the office.

~~~

The restaurant we were sitting in was dark and intimate and when I looked at the menu and saw no prices listed, I tried not to compare my life with Drew now to the way it’d been with Ethan when I first came to New York.  Money had been one of the biggest sources of contention with us.  Not because I expected a life without financial struggles, but because I expected a life where those struggles didn’t consume the way they had with Ethan and me.  The drifting apart was inevitable.  We were different people than when we’d first met as college freshman.  I don’t think either of us fully understood the implications of life in the real world.  Even though it had been three months since we officially ended our relationship, I knew it’d been over long before then, probably the moment we pulled away from Iowa. It had just been a long and painful process to accept we’d become different people…people who no longer brought out the best in each other.  I wondered if we’d ever stood a chance, but as I glanced across the table at Drew, I was content with my decision.  I missed Ethan sometimes.  He’d been my best friend and to have him gone from my life in a snap was a hard concept to wrap my head around sometimes. 

“You look about a million miles away. Are you okay?” Drew’s voice broke through my thoughts and I smiled over to him.

“Yeah.  Just thinking about things.”

“Anything you want to talk about?” he prodded.  He always did that.  He wanted to know what was going on inside my head.  I appreciated his attentiveness, but sometimes thoughts weren’t meant to be spoken.

“Just thinking about how I ended up here.”

I didn’t need to go into details and when he reached across the table, taking my hand in his, I knew he understood what I was thinking about. I think he understood I sometimes struggled with what I’d done to Ethan.  I think even part of him felt guilty too. 

“I thought probation lasted sixty days,” he said and I was grateful for the subject change.

“Me too, which is why I was surprised when Ava told me.”

“You must be making quite an impression then.”

“I guess so. Let’s just hope I don’t blow this.”

“You won’t.  You don’t realize how great you truly are, Natalie.” His voice was serious and he reminded me of Ethan the day I’d left our tiny apartment to interview for the position that would eventually lead me to Drew.  I’d had very little faith in myself, just like now, and it brought me comfort to know Drew believed in me.

Before I could respond, the waitress walked over to us and I tried to ignore the way she looked at Drew.  I’d grown used to women eyeing him.  I didn’t blame them though.  He was hard to miss. Still, it didn’t stop the twinges of jealousy from creeping in and sizing up the women who checked out my boyfriend. I never noticed him reciprocating in any way, but I would’ve loved to have been inside his head to know what he was really thinking.  Drew was a determined person, one used to getting his way, but apparently, I was the one he wanted. 

After we ordered, the waitress brought us over a bottle of red wine.  I could tell it was expensive just by the name.  Drew poured us both a glass when she walked away, holding his up to me.

“To your new job…officially,” he said and I gently tapped my glass with his. 

“So,” I said a few minutes later as I buttered a roll.  Ever since Ava spoke to me, a piece of my mind had been occupied with the thought of finally being able to get my own place.  I was nervous to discuss it with Drew though, but sitting across from him now, I decided I might as well do it. “I think I should start looking for my own place now.”

He’d been eating a piece of bread and he stopped mid-chew when the words left my mouth. He just stared at me before swallowing.

“Excuse me?” he asked.

“You knew when I moved in with you, it was only supposed to be temporary, until I could get back on my feet again,” I began, hoping I wasn’t rambling. “And since you’ve been so generous to let me stay with you…”

“I wasn’t being generous,” he interrupted. “You make it sound like I was offering my couch to some friend who’d fallen on hard times.  I offered to let you stay with me because I wanted you there.  I wanted to come home to you every night.” There was hurt in his voice and he seemed irritated.

“I didn’t mean it like that,” I said, taking his hand. “What I meant was that I’ve been able to save up some money and now that my job is permanent…I think I can finally do it…take care of myself.”

“That’s not necessary, Natalie.”

“Yes, it is,” I said. “I need to do this for myself.  I wish you could understand.” He didn’t say anything, but I didn’t miss the frown on his face. “Would you say something, Drew?”

“Let’s just eat our dinner.”

The server appeared a moment later, setting our food before us.  He’d never seemed upset with me like this, but now, as I stared across the table at him, his face chiseled into serious lines, I knew he was.  He held my gaze for a few seconds before looking down at his food and I did likewise, pushing the pasta around my plate. 

“You don’t know what it’s like,” I said suddenly, looking up from my food to see he was still staring at his dinner, but then he must’ve felt my eyes on him and he looked up.

“I don’t know what what’s like?” he asked, the irritation still in his voice.

“We’re different, Drew.  You and me.  We’re very different and everyone knows that.”

“What is your point, Natalie?” 

“My point is that you don’t feel the need to prove to people that I’m not taking advantage of you.  That I genuinely care about you…that I love you…for who you are and not because what you can give me.”

“I don’t know why you care about what other people think.  I know you’re not taking advantage of me and that’s all that should matter.”

“That’s easy for you to say because you’re not the one who gets the looks.  I need people to know I can take care of myself.  I need my family to know that. 
I
need to know that and…” I continued, hesitating for a second. “I need you to know that.”

I reached across the table, resting my hand on top of his and leaving it there. His gaze dropped to our hands and he stared at them for a second before sliding his under mine and lacing our fingers together, lifting my hand from the table and kissing the back of it before setting it down and continuing with his dinner.

~~~

We’d attempted to make small talk through the rest of the meal, but for the most part it was a lame effort, resulting in quiet and not the comfortable silence I didn’t mind.  Not the kind of silence where you simply enjoyed being together, looking at each other across the table, smiling and flirting without words. It was the kind of silence that was tense and uncomfortable and it followed us back to Drew’s apartment.