The Heart of Texas (22 page)

Chapter 47

Riley knew he wasn't doing very well. Every time he thought about everything that had happened, it was as if there was a surge in his heart rate. He would find himself sweating, edgy, jumpy, feeling constantly on guard. It was driving him mad, and he discovered the best way to deal with it was to avoid thinking at all. Every time someone asked him a question or alluded to the events of the last few days, it was easier to just switch off, to steer clear of places or people who reminded him of the Hayes family.

He realized this was wrong. He wasn't stupid, but he was losing interest in everything, feeling more and more distant from Jack. Sometimes, when he looked back over what happened, it was as if he could almost erase some parts of what had happened, and he knew he was developing far from healthy coping strategies. Added to that, he wasn't sleeping, was irritable, and couldn't concentrate. He decided the only way to not entirely destroy what was left of his life was to stay away from everyone. Jim asked questions, Jack asked questions, Donna just hugged him every time she saw him. Lisa had visited, and Riley had held her as she wept. Eden took to following him around, her hazel eyes inevitably full of tears, her face permanently tear-stained and pale.

Beth couldn't look him in the eyes, and he knew why. He had let everyone down, not
seen
what was in front of his eyes. If only he'd been vigilant then Jeff might never have gone that far, never hurt Beth. His mom had visited, told him to pull himself together, that he needed to be strong for everyone. He thought she probably assumed she was helping, handing over the mantle of man of the family to him, but she wasn't. He couldn't say that, although he wanted to scream at her, tell her he wasn't the right person to be looking after everyone else.

And then there was Jack. He loved him, but Riley knew he didn't deserve to be loved back, not when his brother had wronged the Campbell family so very badly. He wondered how Jack could even look at him. All the time Jack would touch Riley with concern and half smiles and whispered promises of love, and it was all Riley could do not to run in the opposite direction. To think they'd almost renewed vows, well, that was laughable. There was no way he was going to force Jack to tie himself to Riley for any longer than the prescribed year. In fact Riley had researched the whole contract scenario. The contract could be easily made null and void. A divorce would be simple enough, and Jack could then find someone who wasn't so damn broken and pathetic, someone who didn't have the name Hayes carved into their soul.

He needed air, needed space, and after snapping at something Jack had said and having to look at pity-filled blue eyes, he saddled up one of the quarter horses, the movements familiar and soothing. The smells of the old barn served as a reminder of what he could have had, and he hurried the task until he finally stood outside in the Texas heat, his eyes fixed on the horizon, on the need to test those far off limits, to escape.

"You wanna wait, Riley? I'll join you." Jack's voice was careful, but Riley could hear the questions in it. He didn't reply. He inserted a foot in a stirrup and swung his frame onto the horse's back, stilling the shift in the animal's movement with a firm pull on the reins.

"If it's all the same to you, I'm best off alone," Riley said, and heard Jack sigh.

"Riley, you can't keep doing this."

"Doing what?"

"Running. You need to get this all out so we can deal."

Words hovered on Riley's tongue. Was Jack not seeing that now was the time to back off? Riley didn't need touchy-feely crap, and what Jack needed was to just fucking run away from Riley and the remainder of the Hayes family as soon as he could. He didn't say what he wanted to say— My brother was a rapist, and he's been murdered by the man I called father for twenty-seven years, I'm organizing my brother's funeral, dealing with Dad in a cell… I don't have time to talk. Instead he said nothing. He applied light pressure to the mare's sides and guided her out of the barn area and past the paddocks. He was heading away from the ranch house and into the oblivion of his own confused thoughts.

* * * *

Eden watched as her brother rode off and sighed, her heart twisting at the pain that must be inside her brother.

"He's not doing so well, is he?" she asked softly. Jack turned to her. She'd been here almost solidly since Jeff's death, because she couldn't face the Hayes mausoleum. He pulled her into a close hug.

"He's hurting, and he won't talk to me."

Eden couldn't help the tears in her eyes or the mind-numbing pain in her head, and she just burrowed into Jack's reassuring strength for support. She needed to tell Riley what she had done. It didn't matter what she'd promised Jim and her dad. Riley was her brother, and he deserved to know. But how could she tell him? How could she even
begin
to explain what had happened? If she left it as it was, with Riley thinking Gerald had killed Jeff for nothing more than the family name and for money, then she was scared there would be nothing left of the brother she loved, the brother who had seemed to finally be getting a life he could enjoy.

She waited at the barn until evening pulled in, wishing she could just get this over with, standing from her nest among the hay bales when Riley finally jumped down from the saddle. He hadn't seen her in the half gloom, and his face was open, grief carved into it, and his shoulders hunched. She knew he was at the edge of a cliff. Would talking to him, telling him what she'd done, be enough to push him over or be enough to pull him back? She needed him, he needed Jack, and she knew what she had to do.

"Why are you shutting Jack out?" she asked, Riley jumped, startled at the voice, and he whirled to face her.

"Jeez, sis, you scared the shit outta me."

"Tell me why you won't talk to Jack."

He paused, uncertainty crossing his face. "Has he said something?"

"No. You know he wouldn't do that. It's stuff I see. You avoid him, won't touch him, walk away when people start talking… Tell me."

"It's nothing that needs tearing open."

"You're wrong. It's the very thing that needs opening."

"You wouldn't understand," Riley began. "Hell, everyone expects so much from me now. I have a lot to process is all." He sounded ultra-defensive. "I can't handle any more talking, least of all cozy meaningful chats with another man."

"He's your husband, Ri, and you need to talk to him."

"I don't
need
to do anything."

"I'm scared. Can I talk to you? Will you listen? I need to tell you something, something that may…" Eden stopped. May what exactly? May drive her brother to be angry with her? She stepped back away from him, and he looked confused for a moment. He wasn't Jeff; she knew he wouldn't hurt her. She kept telling herself that even as the words tumbled from her mouth. "It was Lisa that shot Jeff. I know because I was there."

Riley blinked. "What?" Disbelief echoed in his tone, and his eyes widened in shock.

"I don't know how it happened. There was just so much hate in her, and she was scared for the kids… And she just…" Her voice broke on a silent sob. "Riley, I told you I was there. I know." Riley said nothing, dropping the reins of the mare, and taking a step towards her, his hands wide in front of him, begging for her to take it back in body language that was screaming denial.

"Lisa?" His tone was confused. "But Gerald—"

Eden raised her eyes, reaching out a hand, almost touching Riley's but not quite.

"He's protecting her, and me. I handled the gun." Her whisper dripped with fear; she could hear it in her own voice.

"Fuck. Eden." Riley's voice was broken. "I don't believe you."

She shook her head wordlessly. How could she make him understand what she'd done when she couldn't understand it herself. Reaching out, he grabbed her upper arms, shaking her, switching from fear to temper. "You had the gun? What have you both done?" She started to sob in his hold, even as his fingers dug into her arms.

"Riley, you're hurting me, let me go, please." It was the
please
that pushed through to him, and seemingly startled at his own strength, he released her, causing her to stumble and fall back, breaking into tears.

"Christ, Riley, what the fuck?" Jack was there, reaching for Eden, pulling her away from the fence, his eyes wide in shock. Riley stared back.

"I didn't mean to— Shit— Ask her," he managed to push out on a breath, but Eden couldn't speak as she leaned on Jack, sobbing.

* * * *

Detached, Riley watched, the ice in him starting to crack… He wasn't like them —anymore than she was— so what could make his beautiful sister-in-law turn a gun on her husband and pull the trigger? What was so bad that she could kill for it? Suddenly it was like an unknown force was pushing him back to her, pulling at Jack's hands until she stood alone, vulnerable. "Eden, what did he do? Did he touch the kids?"
Abuse them?

Jack looked at Eden's eyes, and probably saw the same thing Riley did, the fear, the total shock. Riley heard her wordless gasp of horror, as he tried to connect the dots.
Fuck
, what was he missing here? "He didn't, Riley, he didn't. Lisa said he hadn't, but it was women, and some girls not much older than sixteen." Riley staggered back, his hand at his chest; he'd thought it was a business deal gone wrong, revenge, nothing to do with Lisa.

"What do we do?" Riley murmured, his head spinning.

"Jim says we should say nothing, that daddy knows what he's doing."

That point there was make or break, that last piece of information that sealed the decisions he'd make next. He turned and walked away.

* * * *

Jack made a split second decision, releasing Eden, and striding after Riley, catching him and turning him round in a pull of muscle. "Don't you dare," he said abruptly, spitting the words fast and hard. "You go back there, and you talk to her. She is your freakin' sister, for God's sake." Riley was shaking his head.

"I can't hear any more about him and what he did," he replied, trying to pull his arm from Jack's grasp.

"You don't get to decide when to stop listening, Riley. He's obviously hurt Lisa. Just listen to what Eden has to say. It will be okay."

"Shit, Jack, when will it ever be okay to hear this shit?"

Jack crowded his husband back against the barn wall, not caring who might see.

"Listen to me, Riley." He placed his hands either side of Riley's face, made him look down at him, and captured his gaze. "You go back, you listen to her, you be a good brother, and when you've finished, you come find me and we'll deal with this. Okay? Together." Riley nodded. "I mean it," Jack continued firmly. "You find me, and I will take care of you. This has gone on long enough."

* * * *

Jack released his hold, and Riley stayed leaning against the barn as Jack headed for the house. His husband didn't look back, evidently trusting him to do what needed doing.

Pulling himself together, gathering every ounce of reserve he had left, Riley returned to Eden. She hadn't moved, but her head was down and she was crying silently. Carefully he closed in and pulled her into a hug, startling her enough to look up, fear in her eyes, fear that he'd helped to put there. It was fear of what he was going to say.

"Tell me, Eden," was all he said.

So she did.

Chapter 48

Jack waited, sitting quietly on the side of the bed, his eyes focused on the two dark suits hanging on the back of the door, and the black ties and crisp white shirts ready for the funeral the next day. He was trying to stay calm, trying to be the strong one. The phone wouldn't stop ringing. Newspapers, reporters, society pages, they all wanted the Hayes story. Yesterday they even had people driving onto the D to get photos, turning back only when met by a rifle-toting Donna in full-on momma bear mode. It was front-page news —
Father kills son, the fall of Hayes Oil
— all blown up, untrue statements and demands, and the guilt layering up on Riley was visible. Every time the phone rang, or a paper landed on the doorstep, it was as if Riley was taking a step back. Jack had heard him last night, tossing and turning in what little sleep he was having, disturbed by dreams and nightmares.

Idly he opened the closet and looked at his suit, pulling at the one tie he owned and curling it around his hands, the feel of the expensive silk soft against his work-roughened skin. It would do for the funeral, unless Riley wanted him to wear something different— not that Riley would tell him. His husband wouldn't talk to him, wouldn't share any of it and was closing himself down more and more as each hour passed. He said it wasn't right for him to share it with Jack. Said that it was up to him to sort this out because it wasn't Jack's family. On and on, he threw stuff like that at Jack, and to be honest, Jack was starting to get a little pissed.

He looked up as Riley came into the room, his skin pale, and his eyes wide and filled with shock.

"Is she okay?" Jack asked softly, startling Riley out of his thoughts.

Riley nodded and crossed to sit next to Jack. "Thank you for making me go back."

"Are you going to tell me what she said?" Jack asked carefully, sighing when Riley just closed his eyes and shook his head.

"I don't know what to say," he started, opening his mouth to continue then shutting it just as fast. Jack stood, trying to tamp down the fury inside him for what Riley's family had done to his lover, closing him off and making him unable to deal with his emotions. It was dangerous. Fucking dangerous.

"Do you trust me, Riley?" Jack asked softly, unwrapping the tie and leaning back on the door to their room. He carefully slid the lock. Riley wasn't even aware of; it was as if he wasn't even in the room. Jack crossed to him, lifting his lover's chin with his hands, and staring into hazel eyes. "Do you trust me?" he asked again and saw Riley nod. "Lie back and shut your eyes." Riley looked confused, his face creased into a frown. Jack just laid a firm hand on his shoulder. "I'm not asking Riley, I'm telling."

They were frozen that way for long minutes until Riley scooted up the bed and lay down, closing his eyes as he'd been told.

Carefully Jack slipped away Riley's T-shirt and jeans, cutting off his protests with a harsh "Shhhh", leaving no room for argument, until Riley lay clad only in boxers. Carefully he grasped Riley's hands, lifting them above Riley's head, wondering if he should trust Riley to leave them there.

"Are you gonna move 'em?" he asked, his drawl Texas-long and insistent.

"Shit, Jack, I don't wanna fuck. I—"

Jack stopped the words with a hand over Riley's mouth, deciding that no, Riley was unlikely to keep still. With deft movements, he slipped a knot around Riley's hands, the silk ties soft against his skin, and looped the end over the middle bed post. Riley would be unable to move his hands all the time Jack straddled him. It took Riley's brain a few seconds to catch up on this, finally bucking up, trying to dislodge Jack.

"Keep still." Jack ordered softly, just using his own body weight to hold Riley down, until at last he obeyed. Jack was making it very clear that
he
was leading this.

"Jack?" It was a question, a plea.

"Tell me… Did you know what was happening with Jeff?" It was kind of a huge question to lead off with, and Riley squirmed under him, but Jack held strong and just leaned forward. He began kiss-biting a trail from cheekbone to nipple, drawing the hard nub into his mouth and biting softly, hearing the mewl of pleasure-pain in the man strung out under him. He lifted his head. "Did you know?"

Riley lifted his head and spat out, "No!", then said more softly. "No." He lay back down. "He hit Lisa, I didn't know."

"Why, Riley? Why did he hit his wife?"

"I don't know. He had evil in him."

"Do you have that same evil in you?"

"I don't… Jack…" His voice tailed off as Jack moved to the other nipple, pulling on it, worrying it with his teeth, and unbidden Riley rocked his groin up, seeking resistance, hardening without even realizing it. "I'm not like him," he rasped.

"If you were, what would you have done? Would you have helped Jeff?"

Riley's eyes widened. "No! Jesus— No!"

"What about Beth?"

"Beth?" Riley asked helplessly as Jack moved lower, sucking marks of possession into skin stretched taut over hipbones.

"Would you have hurt her like Jeff did?"

Riley's eyes widened even farther. "No, no! Fuck, Jack!"

Jack nipped his inner thigh, and Riley was thrusting into air, trying to force Jack's mouth
there
, whining as lips touched the folds at the base of his dick, gently laving at his balls, just this side of pleasure-pain. Jack drew one then the other into his hot wet mouth.

"I don't want to think. Don't make me think— please Jack."

Jack lifted his head, looking direct into hazel eyes blown with need, with want, seeing the confusion there. "You ever hit your momma, Riley? Your mom with her sad lonely life and her ghost-like existence… You ever want to slap her to get her to live? Maybe push her around?"

"No, Jack! Fuck! I haven't ever… I wouldn't!"

Jack's lips touched the crown of his dick, licking gently at the evidence of his arousal, gentle, very gentle, his hand moving up to twist hard on a nipple and then he leaned back slightly.

"Are you a bad person, Riley? Have you ever had your hands around someone's throat, willing them to die? Like I did in the hallway with Jeff? Closing the fingers tight, waiting for the fragile pulse to just stop under your hands?"

"No, Jack, it wasn't you, it was Jeff." Riley's voice subsided into mindless babble as Jack closed his mouth around Riley's dick and swallowed him whole in seconds. He bottomed out against the back of Jack's throat, and Jack moved his tongue just how he knew Riley liked it.

It went on and on, Riley so close, and Jack kept him at the edge.

"I left Eden with Beth, should be there with her. I should be seeing Gerald, Momma needs me, Lisa, and the company, I need to bury Jeff…" Riley kept talking, a confused jumble of noise.

But Jack didn't let up. He kept taking him close, pulling off, his hand jacking Riley slowly, then he'd move up to have his mouth a breath away from Riley's. He could see Riley was so close because he knew the signs.

"You are not your brother, Riley. Don't carry his guilt." He twisted his hand, that clever twist he knew would finish Riley, and within seconds, his broken husband was coming hot and wet across his hand, harsh sobs tearing from his chest. Jack didn't hesitate. He pulled at the tie that held Riley, leaning into his strong body and just holding him as he cried, listening to the words that tumbled from his lips.

"How could he do all that, hurting Lisa? He deserved to die. How can I say that? How can he leave me to deal with it all? What do I do? I didn't see Lisa, I didn't see what had happened. I didn't see what Jeff was doing to her, and I didn't stop what happened to Beth. I didn't stop him hitting Mom."

Then Jack heard the worst thing of all. "Why didn't I see all that?"