The Heart (25 page)

I spent the night reading to her and making her come. I spent a majority of the morning watching her sleep. I’d had not a wink of it and was determined to keep it that way until she left my arms. I traced her spine with my fingertips, and she sank further into me. She’d come to me last night a woman full of desire, a woman afraid to ask for what she wanted. I didn’t make it easy for her, but I’d made it up to her in multiples. I needed her in this... thing. I’d only wanted her to show me.

Her question was valid. What in the hell was I doing in nowhere Texas when I could be anywhere else in the world?

But the answer had asked the question.

I couldn’t tell her that. Even though I saw a new softness in her eyes when she looked at me and said my name, I knew better. She was holding out, holding back. As much as I embraced our new relationship, I knew it scared her. She’d been hurt, that much was evident, but by whom? Jealously raced through me as I thought of who could’ve possibly hurt this woman. I was sure it wasn’t that spineless dick in the bar. She hadn’t been affected by him in the least. She was better than him.

She was incredible... and still a mystery to me. Most women who graced my bed were, and yet I never asked the questions.

“If a two-year-old can chain smoke and run the streets of the Philippines, you can get out of bed, Rose.”

I turned over to see Rose’s eyes open and widen when she realized she was in bed with me. I burst out in incredulous laughter as I looked her over. She buried her head into her pillow in embarrassment. Still chuckling and more than curious, I pulled the pillow from her grip until she was forced to give it up and look my way.

“Explain, lady, or you aren’t leaving this bed.”

I could barely see her green eyes as she peered at me through a sea of auburn hair. She looked beautiful in the sun-kissed room.

She pushed her hair out of the way as she smiled at me fully. It stole my breath. “Okay, so I give myself a little encouragement to get out of bed in the morning.”

“By talking about chain smoking babies?”

“Before I open my eyes, I think of something to get me motivated. Most of them are human feats, some are spiritual. It’s just a thing I do,” Rose admitted as she began to slip out of bed. I pulled her to me with a negative headshake.

“I have surgery in three hours,” she protested, barely resisting my hold on her. She looked up at me with a curious smile, and I told her the truth. “Good morning, beautiful.” She sighed as she nestled further into my arms and I felt another switch flip. She was under my skin and beginning to filter everywhere else.

I chuckled as I thought of her telling me off as she threw that snake over the railing. I’d never in my lifetime get over that. One minute she was impossibly feminine, the next she was shoveling a side of rare beef in her mouth and wrestling reptiles.

“What?” she muffled into my chest.

“You’re the poster-child of a hot mess.” She stiffened in my arms as I continued. “You’re all over the place. Feisty one minute and full of love the next. I have no doubt in the operating room you are the picture of control, but out of it, well... I’ve never known anyone like you.”

Her arms tightened around my waist as she placed a small kiss on my chest. “Then you understand me.”

“I see what you want me to see, but you get no complaints here,” I said as I dragged my fingertips from her knee up to the top of her thigh.

She looked my way, a devastating smile on her face. “So what happens next?”

In a sudden move, I turned her on her back and moved between her legs. I slipped an inch inside of her as her breath hitched and kissed her neck as she moaned in welcome.

“I give you two more orgasms and we have coffee,” I said hoarsely as I began to push further inside her. She thrust her hips up in an effort to gain more of me, and I teased her as I circled them.

“And then,” she rasped out as she drug her nails down my back.

“And then we shower together,” I said as I pushed in fully and buried myself in heaven.

I remained still as she opened up to me. Every layer of space between us evaporated as I waited on her eyes to connect with mine. My arms locked next to her shoulders, I rolled my hips and watched her catch fire.

“This is so fucking perfect,” I whispered as I leaned in and kissed her before I rolled again and got impossibly deeper.

“Jack,” she gasped as her body began to tremble and her tightness clenched around me.

“Here,” I whispered as I placed a kiss on her forehead. “Here,” I said in the same tone as I kissed her chest where her heart lay. “Here,” I said as I pulled back and thrust hard, watching her fall apart beneath me. “Lots of this, that’s what’s next,” I promised through clenched teeth as I began to frantically move. I wanted to believe it was the truth. That there would be more nights like last night and even more of these mornings. She fascinated me and would take a piece of me with her when she left, a piece I had given to her after I had realized I was in a free fall.

It felt like a risk, but a risk worth taking.

I paused above her, positive I’d aimed for something else entirely when I’d pushed inside of her this morning, and it had turned into something else altogether.

“Jack, let go,” she urged as I spent myself inside her. And just as her words registered, my decision was made.

I didn’t want to let her go. I didn’t want her out of my bed or out of my sight. But I learned a long time ago that it wasn’t up to me. You can make a woman smile, crave, and come, but you could never make a woman feel.

And that was the most fascinating thing of all.

Jack: Good morning, beautiful.

Rose: Morning, handsome. Rap & R&B 101 Love it or Hate It, 50 Cent

Jack: Go save someone.

Rose: Go build something.

He sent a picture of a building he had co-designed, and I gasped at the progress they’d made. He was in Lubbock for a few days overseeing the groundbreaking of the project so he could spend some off time with me. He was running out of projects to help the center and decided to split his time so his reason for staying wasn’t obvious. I appreciated it more than he knew. I wasn’t ready to share yet, but it had been a week since I’d seen him and I hated it. His absence tugged at me, it gnawed. I savored every minute with him. Jack had completely taken me by surprise. Though southern gentlemen to the core and more than proud to be from his fair city of New Orleans, he was so much more than I’d originally given him credit for. Southern bred but worldly at the same time. I couldn’t wrap my head around some of the things he’d seen and done. I was small town Texas, and he was... everywhere. Each day we spent together, we gave a little more of ourselves, our minds, our bodies. It felt surreal.

His presence excited me, his depth moved me, and his touch sated me.

Jack reminded me that life lay beyond my demanding career, a career I’d chosen and still loved. But my walks on the grounds became a lot less lonely with thoughts of my time with him to keep me company. My need for him grew each day. When he was in Texas, I spent all my nights with him at his hotel, or at the center, both of us still intent on keeping our stolen moments private, though more for me than Jack.

He refused to let our relationship be limited. Often times he would force my hand on days I wanted to relax and take me out on spontaneous trips he would plan. We’d been tubing down the Guadalupe River, attended the Blue Bonnet Festival—taking Grant and Annabel—and had even gone to Billy Bob’s so he could properly train me as his dance partner.

That night...that night had been both the best and the worst.

“You look beautiful,” he whispered in the cabin of my car as he kept his hand on my thigh. I looked over at him, pleased that he noticed the extra effort that I’d put in. My normally corrupt hair was tamed straight, and I’d bought new black jeans and boots that fit like second skin. My dark blue tube top was tight and showed what little cleavage I had, and came just short of showing an inch of my midriff.

“So do you,” I said, moving my hand over his. I compared the size of the two and saw his was impossibly large next to mine.

“But they fit perfectly,” he said as he noticed my comparison and laced them together.

“They do,” I said as I looked over his dark eyes, his lashes, nose, and lips.

“Think you can handle a night of country music?” he said as he parked the car in the busy station at the Fort Worth Stockyards. The Yards were a mix of industrial and southern in feel. A stomping ground for cowboys and girls alike. It was a strip of bars, shops, and eateries. My parents had taken us here a few times to see them release the longhorns out on the street, a daily tradition. It was as Texas as Texas could get.

The excitement in me had built throughout the day. Jack, without knowing it, had given me the chance to break free, get out of the norm, and blow off the steam that had been building inside of me for some time.

“I’m so ready for this,” I beamed at him.

“C’mere, beb,” he said in thick Cajun as he parked the car and turned to look at me. I leaned over the console, and he cupped my face then pulled me in the rest of the way. Our mouths met with tenderness as Jack kissed me with passion and need. Ache brewed inside me the way it always did when he kissed me like he meant it.

And Jack always kissed me like he meant it.

“I think I’ve fallen in love,” Jack said slowly as my breath hitched and fear shook me, “with your mouth.”

He saw the relief cover my features, and his jaw tightened. Without pause, I got out of the car and felt lighter in the night air.

Jack met me at the hood of the car with a scold. “I get your doors for you.”

“Sorry,” I smiled ruefully. “I keep forgetting.”

“So I’ll keep reminding you.” His words were a little harsh, but I knew it had everything to do with my panic back in the car. I ignored his silence as we made our way inside the honky-tonk, fingers clasped. Music reverberated through my every pore as the bass pounded throughout the crowded bar. Jack never let go of my hand as he summoned the all-legs bartender in short black shorts, who noticed Jack immediately and made it her mission to get over to him.

“Two bourbons on ice please. Maker’s if you have it.” He squeezed my hand as I stiffened behind him, watching the woman in front of us shamelessly eye fuck him. Even with his reassurance, I quickly surveyed the rest of the crowd around us and saw the eyes of several women glued to him. I looked back to Jack, who was dressed in a button-down, collared, dark blue shirt, dark blue jeans, and new black boots. His hair was a lightly gelled chaos of blond. His profile alone lit by the amber light of the bar had my mouth watering. Possessiveness took hold as I held his hand tighter and he looked over at me with a wink.

Jack wasn’t immune to the attention he was getting by simply standing at the bar. He was well aware of it and shifted slightly on his feet. Though his demeanor screamed confidence, I could tell by the tick in his jaw that it bothered him. It made me even more curious. I leaned into him just as his hand twisted in my hair and he pulled my lips to his for a brief but message-filled kiss. When he pulled away, I saw it. I was the only woman he wanted at that moment, and that was enough for me.

When our drinks arrived, we stood at a table nearby, admiring the people on the dance floor. I turned to Jack, who silently watched the couples.

“Who taught you to dance?”

A pained, faint smile crossed his lips briefly. “A friend. You?”

I smiled. “My parents.”

“Well,” he said thickly as he watched me drain my glass. “Let’s see what we’re working with.”

He grabbed my hand, exuding confidence as he led me to the floor. Clinging to him through the dense crowd, my hand on his bicep, I followed behind, unsure if I would be able to keep up as he made space for us then turned to face me. Jack gripped my body tightly and began to move. I looked up to him as he started to two-step me effortlessly around the floor. I fumbled slightly with my steps as he commanded my attention.

“Look at me, beb, not your feet.”

I’d been out dancing once or twice in my life, but to music completely different, yet as I looked into his eyes, I let my body relax in trust, and soon we were in sync. Jack never stopped his feet, song after song we danced, fast or slow, our eyes locked, our smiles matching. For all we knew, we were alone on that dance floor. It felt amazing. Inch by inch, the separation between us disappeared. In Jack’s arms, I felt beautiful, needed, wanted, and cherished. I was high on him, and he seemed to feel the same.

Jack had moved his hand from around my waist and kept it behind my neck, keeping our faces as close as possible. His fingers massaged my neck while his thumb moved to stroke beneath my ear.

Under his spell, I was completely lost in his eyes and what he was saying without moving his lips.

I felt it then, the unmistakable shot to the chest, and in his eyes, I saw my future. I closed them as tightly as possible as emotion overflowed and heard the tiny sob escape my lips.