The Haven: A Novel (21 page)

Gideon and Daniel were right. We had to save ourselves.

I stroked Abigail’s cheek, leaving a damp line of my tears.

“Shiloh.” Gideon’s voice sounded like it perched on my shoulder. “I’m going to see if I can find Daniel. I’ll be back. Stay quiet. Dr. King is close.”

The whole time Gideon was gone, I stood near Abigail and cried. I touched her skin, cool under my fingers.

“It will be okay,” I said. Where had that lie come from? It wouldn’t be okay. Things would never be the same again. Because here was Abigail, right here, and she couldn’t move and she wouldn’t be able to get away with us and she wasn’t even complete anymore. She was just pieces. That’s all. A monitor showed the rhythm of her forced breathing, another the beating of her heart.

Her heart.

Her heart and soul.

Panic started in my chest, fluttering like butterflies, then turned to a swarm of bees.

“I swear it will be okay, Abigail. We’ll get help.”

“This isn’t good, Shiloh,” Gideon said. “Abigail doesn’t look good at all.” His voice cracked and his eyes were red. “We have to go. We need to move before someone finds out we’re gone. There’s no time.”

“Did you find Daniel?”

Gideon shook his head.

I said, “I can’t leave her.” The bees had flown to my voice box and hid the sound with their buzzing. “She’ll be alone.”

“No,” he said, his voice low and soothing. “No, she’ll be safe here. Someone will check on her. I promise. They’re keeping her alive.”

He looked at me and I could see the lies in what he said, could see that he recognized those lies, too.

“She’ll never get away now.” I turned to him, my head swimming with the movement. “We’ve got to take her with us when we go. Tell me we can.”

He clasped my shoulders. “She’ll die for sure if we take her. And so will we. We can’t be burdened with someone we have to carry.”

“But…”

Gideon looked away. I knew what he was thinking.

Daniel.

Someone we had to carry.

How would we move Daniel if we found him? If he was this bad? If he was worse?

Abigail’s mouth was strained, lips pulled back in pain, teeth clenched. What had they done to make her face like that?

Had she fought the way she did in the Dining Hall?

“We have to go.”

“Okay,” I said, and I leaned over and pressed my lips to her face. She was cool cool cool, her skin soft. “We’ll come back for her? Right? Promise me.”

He didn’t even pause. “Yes, Shiloh. We will.” And this time there was no lie in his voice.

26

“What are you two doing?”

I squeezed my eyes shut, pulling the door closed to Abigail’s room behind me. My hands tightened to fists.

Dr. King stood there in the hallway. He looked huge. “Gideon,” he said. “Shiloh. What a surprise. You both know these buildings are off-limits.” Dr. King sounded distressed. Not angry at all. And he looked so disappointed. It felt like all the good air was sucked away when Dr. King walked into the room. I tried not to be afraid, but I was.

Gideon’s face didn’t change. I should touch him. Pull some of his calmness into myself. Could either one of them see my pulse pounding in my throat?

Gideon didn’t respond to my touch. He just straightened. Stood taller. Like he had waited for this moment when we would stand face-to-face with Dr. King.

“We’re looking for Daniel, Dr. King,” Gideon said. His voice was matter-of-fact. Like this was part of his duties as a Terminal. “We can’t leave him behind.”

“You’re such a good Terminal, Gideon, thinking of your fellow beings.” He gave a sad smile. “Just like Adam. He was so much like you.” Dr. King shook his head, as though he couldn’t believe how similar Adam and Gideon were.

“Don’t talk about him,” Gideon said. “He
was
good.”

“Adam,” Dr. King said, “was amazing. The best thing I ever did.”

Gideon said, “You had nothing to do with him. Adam was himself. He was one of the Whole who stood up for us all.”

“Stood up for the Terminals?” Dr. King nodded. “Yes. And that was his undoing. He couldn’t be saved, nor could his mother. Even with all this technology, he couldn’t be saved.” Dr. King gestured to the hall we stood in.

“You don’t save Terminals,” I said. “You use them to death.”

“You’re right, Shiloh. But Adam was not just some Whole male. He was my flesh and blood. He was my son.”

What?

Gideon said, “I don’t understand.”

“It’s just what I said, Gideon. Adam was my child. He should have been your Recipient. But he became the only Whole I couldn’t save because he wouldn’t
let
me. Nor would his mother. They were against the work I did.”

Gideon’s hand found mine. His fingers were cold. “That can’t be true.”

“But it is.” Dr. King seemed to slump in on himself. He shrunk before my eyes. “He grew attached to you. And when he was old enough, he signed a waiver preventing me from using you to make him better in any way.”

“And then there was the accident,” I said.

Dr. King straightened. “This is hardly your business,” he said. He turned to Gideon. “I’ll let you off with this offense, Gideon,” he said, “because that’s what Adam would have wanted. But Shiloh—” He smiled, showing only his bottom teeth. “—you belong in the Isolation room. The mother of your Recipient would be appalled to know of this misdemeanor.”

“We’re leaving,” I said.

“I keep you all in the finest of circumstances.” Dr. King waved his hand around like this gesture would show all he had done for the Terminals. “Why would you even consider such a thing? Do you know how lucky you are to be in
this
hospital? In other hospitals, the Replicants are kept in cages. Kept like chickens, crammed together, uneducated. Treatment here is ethical. It’s good.”

“We’re a product,” I said.

Gideon stood silent, like his words had been stolen from him.

Dr. King pursed his lips. “Not all of you. Your Daniel, for example.
He
wants to stay here.”

“That’s not true,” Gideon said.

“You may speak to him yourself. I was checking on him when the two of you—” Dr. King waved his hands around. “—entered the building illegally.”

“Where is he?” Gideon’s voice was strained.

“Go have a word with Daniel. Then you’ll see how you can benefit others if you so choose.”

Dr. King led us to a room at the end of the hall. We all stood in the doorway.

“As you can see,” Dr. King said, “he has legs.”

Gideon didn’t move. It was like he was stuck. I stepped forward, to where Daniel lay on the bed. Unlike Abigail, he looked—what? Alive? Yes, that was it.

“He made a trade. Legs for valuable information.”

“What do you mean?” Gideon asked.

Daniel appeared to be asleep. The odor of sickness filled the room.

“You know.” Again Dr. King waved his hand and when he did, I saw Gideon in the movement. “
I
gave him a pair of legs. He let me know your plans. We’ve been communicating for some time.”

“That’s not true,” Gideon said, the words one-at-a-time slow.

“Oh, it is,” Dr. King said. “It is.” He sounded jovial. “We just need to see if this works. We’ve never done anything this big before. It’s a graft, of sorts. Not a match at all. Someone else’s legs. You may remember Isaac?”

Lightning flashed through me.

“Of course, I think we’ll be successful.”

“Daniel?” I whispered his name, and Daniel’s eyes opened. The smell got worse as I neared him.

“Shiloh,” he said. I could hear how weak he was. “I don’t feel well. I need something to drink.”

I held a plastic cup filled with ice and water to Daniel’s lips. He sipped the drink.

“Better?”

With his glasses off, Daniel’s eyes looked bigger than normal, glassy. He looked in the direction of Dr. King and Gideon. “Come closer,” he said.

“No company secrets, now,” Dr. King said. “Go talk to your best friend, Gideon. Adam would want you to.”

“No, thank you,” Gideon said, and he turned away.

I bent over Daniel. I could feel the fever radiating from him. “I made a mistake,” he said. “No matter what Dr. King tells you, I made a mistake. Let everyone know.”

“I will,” I said. “I promise.”

“If I get out of this, Shiloh, I’ll be there to help the Terminals. Tell Gideon I said so, will you?”

“Yes,” I said. “Of course, Daniel.” I touched his forehead with the back of my hand. “He’s burning up.”

Dr. King walked to the side of the bed. He checked a few readings on the equipment Daniel was hooked up to. “If the fever breaks,” Dr. King said, “we have a new success. You win a few, you lose a few with Terminal experimentation. But it’s all for the good of the Whole. We’re always a step ahead here at Haven Hospital and Halls.”

I felt sick to my stomach. “You promised him…”

Behind me, Gideon cleared his throat.

“Let’s go, Shiloh,” Dr. King said. He slapped his hands together. “We don’t want to weary our patient.”

“Remember me, okay, Shiloh?”

I nodded, squeezed Daniel’s hand that felt fiery and dry in my own. “Always.”

In the hall, with the door closed, I turned to Dr. King. Gideon stood away from us, his back toward me.

I caught my breath, bit it off. “I don’t believe Daniel traded you anything. Not like you say.”

Dr. King walked in slow motion toward the hall desk. He sat down and fingered an iris. It was a beautiful lavender. There had to be a dozen flowers in the vase. “You’re very astute, Shiloh. A lot like Ann Alexander.”

Starting, I spoke. “You fooled him. Like you’ve fooled the world into thinking we’re something we aren’t. You promised him something you couldn’t deliver. You’ve killed Daniel and you killed Isaac, just to try to figure out what we were doing.”

“I’ve not fooled anyone,” Dr. King said. “I’ve given the Whole what they want. Eternal life. Eternal youth. Or as close as you can get. We live in a world where looking young reigns supreme.”

“But you tricked Daniel.”

“I offered him what he wanted,” Dr. King said. “We’ve had rebellions before, you know. Adam started a few. We know what to keep an eye out for. I saw it coming with Daniel and knew what the trade should be.” He folded his hands on the desktop. “The possibility of legs.”

Gideon kept his back turned to us both. “You know what he would want.”

Dr. King looked at Gideon. “I
gave
him what he wanted.”

“Not Daniel,” he said. “I’m not talking about Daniel.”

Dr. King said nothing.

“We saw him. You keep his body still.”

“You had no right—” Dr. King swelled up like a balloon.

“You care about him.” Gideon took my hand and I could feel him trembling. “That’s why you’ve let me live, and why you couldn’t honor what he wanted—to be allowed to die. That’s why he’s hooked up to a bunch of monitors that live for him.”

“Don’t speak about my boy.”

“I loved him, too,” Gideon said. “Maybe not like you did, but I understood him and he—”

“You understood nothing of my son.” The irises fell to the floor, the vase shattering. “You knew nothing of him.”

Gideon walked closer to Dr. King, pulling me along. “I knew everything about him. I
am
him. You said so yourself. He and I talked all the time. He told me how great you are. What a genius you are and how you could change the world. And he told me you believed in choice.”

Dr. King was quiet. His mouth hung open.

“I believed Adam about you for a long time,” Gideon said. “Now half of us are gone. And Shiloh and me, we’re leaving.”

Those last words hung in the air.

Gideon pulled me along, walking in a determined way, but I could still feel his hand shaking.

“You’re worth too much,” Dr. King said. “I can’t let you go. I have business partners. I have bills. Accountability to others.”

Gideon didn’t slow. He hurried me along, tucked his arm into mine.

“Don’t look back,” Gideon said under his breath. “Whatever you do, just keep moving.”

Down the corridor we went. A turn to the left. Dr. King’s footsteps not following. His voice growing dim. “No matter what my son wanted, I’ll not let you get away.” Deeper into the basement.

“Go, go, go,” I said.

A siren wailed. Then another. And another.

Gideon ran then, pulling me behind him. Out the door marked by the
EXIT
sign. Into the night. Up the stairs and across the lawn.

Sirens pealed and lights flashed.

Dr. King was there (how?), and Principal Harrison. Security spilled from the buildings, but we were ahead of them.

“Hurry, hurry.”

Gideon dragged me. I didn’t waste energy to speak. Just ran.

Miss Maria stepped from the shadows. “This way. This way.”

“Follow her,” I said to Gideon. We ran after Miss Maria, who took us to the front gate, where Ms. Iverson waited in a car for us to climb the fence to safety.

27

“Are you sure you can’t go with us?” I asked Ms. Iverson. My nerves jangled. I was positive my very heart shook.

“Ann wants
you,
” Ms. Iverson said. “Not me. Anyway, I need to get back to school so they don’t suspect I had anything to do with your escape. I’m in trouble enough for fighting for you. We have to drop you here. It means you walking a bit, but we can’t risk getting caught.”

Miss Maria said, “They won’t miss us if we’re back in a few minutes. Go. The two of you. As soon as we can, we’ll be back.”

“It’s almost morning,” Ms. Iverson said. “I’ll call her so she knows you’re coming. Go to the address we gave you.”

“1501 Cherry Lane,” I said.

They both nodded.

We were a mile from Ann Alexander’s home. I remembered from the map. But it seemed a forever from where Ms. Iverson had let us out. Every time a car slowed, I was sure Dr. King would leap out for us. I walked with my head down until Gideon said, “You look like a Terminal, Shiloh. Stand up straight and tall. That’s the first thing I learned from Adam.”

Be a Terminal. Look like a Terminal. Now look like the Whole. Maybe I would never fit in this world out here.