They decided to walk to Victoria Station, Ruby claiming she needed as much fresh air as possible before the train journey home. Cash put his arm around her and she leaned into him, as he had leant into her in the pub. She sensed this was a ground breaking night for her, for them and one that was thankfully far from over yet.
Walking through the lively streets, packed with smiling crowds of people – friends, couples, families – all negotiating the still busy roads, Ruby couldn’t remember a time when she had felt happier, like a regular girl on a date with a regular boy. Normal.
The next train to Lewes was a slow one and didn’t leave for another hour or so, so they decided to get the Brighton train instead, sprinting across the concourse when Cash pointed out that it was just about to leave. Breathless with laughter, they managed to bag themselves the last two empty seats. Once again, she placed the box safely on her lap.
Ruby knew why she was so eager to reach home and hoped Cash felt the same. For a second, worry consumed her. What if he didn’t? What if he was looking forward to nothing more than a good night’s sleep in his own comfortable bed? What if she’d read him,
this,
all wrong? She needn’t have tortured herself though, because as soon as the doubts set in, he quashed them, leaning across to kiss her, gently, on the lips – lingering only as long as it was seemly, restraining himself because of the commuters around them.
Looking up at him, she smiled, hoping to silently convey that it would be okay to kiss her again later, and more. He seemed to get the message because he grinned back at her, happy, excited and, dare she think it, just a little bit in love? A chuckle escaping her at how sentimental she was being, she snuggled into him, relishing the feel of him, the smell of him, desire going into overdrive on the 21.06.
When they reached Brighton Station, rather than wait for a connecting train to Lewes, Cash said, “Shall we get a taxi? I’ll pay.”
Just as keen as him to reach her flat as quickly as possible, she ran with him to the taxi rank in front of the station, bypassing as many people as they could to ensure a short wait.
In the back of the cab, Cash leaned over and kissed her again, for longer this time, deeper.
“Are you sure?” he whispered, so low only Ruby could hear.
“I’m sure,” she whispered back, wishing there weren’t so many damn traffic lights between here and her front door.
As Cash paid the driver, Ruby exited the cab. When he came round to her side of the pavement, she pulled him close with her free hand, giggling as she did so before exploring his mouth once more with her tongue and simultaneously walking him slowly backwards to her front door. He was laughing too as she handed him the box and rummaged around in her bag for the front door key. Finding it at last, she lifted her hand up to the lock. But just as she did so, a figure stepped forward from the dark shadows of the alcove, startling them both.
For a moment, Ruby was speechless; then, with great effort, she managed to utter one word.
“Mum!”
Chapter Twenty-Three
It took Ruby and Cash a few moments to get over the shock of seeing this woman, her mother, standing before them.
“Why are you here?” gasped Ruby when she had recovered enough to string more words together.
“To see you, of course.” Her mother’s voice was so low it was barely audible.
Her mind still reeling, Ruby could only manage: “Does Gran know?”
“Yes, if she’s read the note I left her on the kitchen table.”
“She’ll be frantic.”
“She’ll understand.”
Suddenly remembering the man beside her, the man she couldn’t get enough of just a few seconds before, Ruby introduced Cash to Jessica.
“It’s nice to meet you,” said Cash, a strangled quality to his voice Ruby thought.
Ruby wasn’t sure what her mother would make of his outstretched hand. Without a moment’s hesitation, however, Jessica shook it. Not timidly, as Ruby would have expected, but firmly, whilst flashing an equally unexpected smile at him; a smile that said:
Nice to meet you too
.
Turning to Ruby, Cash said, “Look, I’d better be going, it’s late. I’ll see you in the morning, okay?”
“What about Daisy?” Ruby asked, not just out of genuine concern but because she was looking for excuses to keep Cash with her, it hurt to let him go.
“I’ve texted Mum. She’s happy to keep her for as long you like. I think you’ll have trouble getting her back.”
Ruby was only slightly relieved. Lingering for a few moments more, she could tell he didn’t want to leave and she definitely didn’t want him to go, but they had no choice, their unspoken plans were well and truly scuppered. Reaching up to kiss him, she stared after him as he walked away, every inch of her aching for his touch. Then she turned round to face her mother – a large part of her also intrigued to see what had brought Jessica to her doorstep for the first time ever without Gran.
“Come on,” Ruby said, “let’s get you inside. It’s freezing.”
Ruby put the box on the table in the hallway; she wouldn’t get a chance to sift through more of its contents tonight. It would have to wait until tomorrow. Quickly, she glanced at the answer machine, the red light wasn’t flashing. It was her assurance that Gran did understand after all.
“Hey, boy,” said her mother, smiling down at Jed who’d been waiting eagerly in the kitchen for them. He seemed to like her too; he even seemed to be smiling back.
Straightening up, Jessica asked, “That young man, Cash is it? Is he your boyfriend?”
“Erm, yes,” replied Ruby, “potentially.”
“I like him, he has a good aura.”
I like him too. A lot.
“I know you do,” said her mother, startling her, “and I’m glad.”
Recovering from her mother’s insight, Ruby said, “Tea? Would you like a cup?”
“That panacea for all ills,” responded Jessica, a somewhat wistful tone in her voice. “Yes, please, I would.”
Glad to have something practical to do, Ruby rummaged through her cupboards for the necessary accoutrements, the wonderfully mundane task allowing her time and space to come to terms with her mother’s surprise visit.
As Ruby swirled hot water around the teapot to warm it up, Jessica looked around her.
“This flat, it’s lovely, safe.”
Safe?
A strange word to describe a flat, but yes, Ruby supposed she was right. Certainly she always felt safe here. Apart from Jed, no spirit had ever seen the need to take up residence within its walls, no matter how fleetingly. Instead it was a haven, a place of retreat, somewhere to retire to when the world and those not quite in it became too much.
“I could be happy in a flat like this,” continued Jessica.
At Ruby’s alarmed face, she emitted a small laugh. “Oh no, dear, don’t worry, not with you. I mean when... when...”
She didn’t have to continue, Ruby knew what she meant.
When Gran passed.
Something neither of them wanted to contemplate. Gran was strong. Gran was sturdy, a rock to both of them, but Gran was also getting old. She couldn’t go on forever, not in this world anyway.
“Here you go,” said Ruby, handing her mother’s tea over in a plain white no-nonsense mug, unlike the dainty china cups her Gran and Esme favoured.
As her mother cradled the mug and sipped tentatively at the hot liquid, Ruby quietly took her in. Jessica’s face looked even paler than normal, dark rings encircled her eyes – was her mother not sleeping? Normally, that was all she ever did, since the breakdown. And she was thin. Too thin for a woman of forty-eight, it made her look older than she was. Jessica’s hair was still dark but flecked with grey, another sign of ageing she took no interest in hiding. She looked beaten, downcast. She
was
beaten and downcast. Once she had been anything but; she had been beautiful, to the young Ruby anyway. With luxuriant hair and sparkling eyes – a young woman with a zest for life but an ability to see beyond it too, an ability that had very nearly destroyed her. Nearly, but not quite, Ruby reminded herself. There was strength in her mother; she could sense it, even if her mother, and sometimes her grandmother, couldn’t.
“Mum, why are you here?” asked Ruby at last.
“I heard you, when you came to visit, talking about Highdown Hall.”
“Oh, right,” Ruby faltered. She had thought her mother was asleep when she’d confided in Gran.
Seeking to reassure her, Ruby said, “Yes, it’s a bit of a tricky case, but we’re on it, Mum, we’ve nearly cracked it.”
“When are you going back?” was her mother’s blunt response.
“Christmas Eve.”
“Christmas Eve?”
“Yes, Mum, but I’ll be home Christmas Day, if that’s what you’re worried about, I wouldn’t miss being with you and Gran for the world.”
“Ruby,” Jessica’s voice was not as patient as before. “I am not worried about Christmas Day. I’m worried about you. I don’t want you to go back.”
“I have to,” Ruby countered.
“No you don’t,” Jessica reached across the table to hold her hand, an urgency to her actions. “Despite what Gran has told you, what she’s drummed into you from the day you were born, whatever resides at Highdown Hall, it is
not
your responsibility.”
Ruby stared across the table at her mother. She was right. Gran
had
always drummed it into her that it was her responsibility to help grounded souls; that she, or rather they, had been given the ability to do so for a reason, a purpose, which they must fulfil. Gran would have drummed the same message into Jessica too, but clearly it had fallen short.
“Mum,” said Ruby, reluctant to upset her further but not wanting to lie either, “I am going back. I
want
to go back. Cynthia... she needs me.”
Jessica simply stared at her.
After a moment, she said, “She attacked one of your team. Has she attacked you too?”
“No,” Ruby hung her head. “Not Cynthia.”
“But someone? Someone attacked you?”
Still looking down, Ruby mumbled “Yes.”
“Who?”
“That’s what I’m trying to find out.”
There was silence again, Ruby almost not daring to breathe.
“You don’t know what you’re dealing with,” Jessica said at last, almost spitting the words out. “Know when to admit defeat, Ruby, before you yourself are defeated.”
“Mum!” said Ruby, shocked by her reaction.
Since her breakdown, Jessica had been placid, withdrawn, lost inside herself – shunning the world, seeking refuge in her childhood home, hardly ever leaving it, only to visit local shops, never anything more. This angry Jessica, who had just scraped her chair back and stood before her now with eyes blazing, Ruby had never encountered before.
“Your grandmother thinks love is the ultimate force, the
only
force. That evil does not exist. But it
does
Ruby. And I have stared into the face of it.”
Ruby held her breath. Was this the moment her mother revealed just what she had seen, the moment she would learn at last the reason for her breakdown?
Leaning on the table now, her face only inches from Ruby’s, Jessica continued.
“Where there is construction, there is deconstruction, where there is light, there is darkness, the two exist side by side, Ruby, in a strange and twisted sort of harmony. We are given freedom of choice, all of us, we can follow the light, or we can follow the dark. There are many who choose the latter, who walk so far down that path they change, become something else entirely. Not everyone,
everything,
can live in the light.”
“Mum, what has this got to do with...”
But Ruby didn’t have a chance to finish.
“Whatever it is that waits for you at Highdown Hall, who’s to say it’s even human? Who’s to say it was
ever
human?”
“Mum, that’s ridiculous,” Ruby breathed out at last. “Of course it was human.”
“Why ‘of course’, Ruby? Do you think you know everything that exists out there in the universe? Do you think Gran does? Have you not read all of Rosamund’s papers? She hints at it too, the existence of demons. Gran is wrong. She’s taught you there’s nothing to fear. But you
should
fear, Ruby. You’re as open to it as I was. There is danger at every turn and it’s waiting, patiently waiting, for you to walk right into its clutches.”
Ruby’s head was spinning. What her mother was saying was difficult to comprehend. Of course she’d read Rosamund’s papers, even those that hadn’t been published, which Gran kept in a bureau at home. Never had she read about demons. Had Gran taken some of the papers and hidden them? Had Jessica found them? Were
they
the key to her breakdown?
A picture of Sarah’s face popped into her mind, the light inside her evident on her face. Gran wouldn’t do such a thing. She wasn’t capable of deceit. Ruby would not doubt her.