The Hairdresser Diaries (21 page)

I stood there frozen. Wondering what the hell just happened?

Cole stood up, finished off his beer, and without looking at me said, “Well my work here is done.” Then he started to walk away.

“Cole wait,” I called after him, but he kept walking. “Cole!” I shouted as he walked out the door. “Would you please stop?” I pleaded.

He stopped, turned around, and stared at me. He looked angry. I’ve never seen him look this way.

“What did you say to him?” was the first thing I could think to ask.

“You asked me to pretend to be your boyfriend so I did, I played the part.”

“That’s not what I asked.”

“Look, he likes me now right?” I nodded. “Then I did my job.”

“What was this look and the way you acted in the beginning? What was that all about?”

“What, I thought this is the kind of guy you liked?”

“What are you talking about?”

“You know assholes, like Logan.”

I took a step back. That hurt. “What did I do to piss you off so bad?”

“I get it Tatum, you’re not interested, and so I’m done.” He turned to walk away again. I reached for him and he ripped his arm away from me and I saw pain in his eyes. “I’m done playing your games.”

“Games? What games? Who’s playing games?” I couldn’t understand why he was so angry with me.

“You are Tatum. I’m not someone who likes to be strung along cause the other person can’t make up their mind. I’m not here for your convenience.”

“Cole, what the hell are you talking about?”

“I’m talking about you pretending to like me one minute, and the next you don’t. So which is it Tatum, you do or you don’t?”

He was in my face now. I couldn’t breathe. I couldn’t answer, I was afraid to. I was afraid to tell him the truth, that I do like him, and that I’ve never felt this way about anyone. So I didn’t say anything. I looked into his eyes and tried to hold back my tears.

“Good bye Tatum,” Cole said and walked away.

I dropped down to the ground and buried my face in my hands as he left. I felt a tiny slender hand on my shoulder. “Tatum, are you alright?” Trina asked. She was now sitting beside me. I laid my head in her lap while I cried.

“Why didn’t you just tell him?” Trina asked.

“Tell him what?”

“That you like him.”

“Trina, were you eavesdropping again?”

“No. I don’t have to spy to know you like him. So why didn’t you tell him?”

“It’s complicated,” I said as I sat up and wiped my face.

“I think it’s pretty simple. You like him or you don’t. You’re the one who’s making it complicated.” I look at her, amazed I was getting relationship advice from my thirteen year old sister. “He really likes you too. I overheard him talking to dad.”

“I thought you said you weren’t eavesdropping.”

“No, I said I didn’t listen to you guys talk, I never said him and dad.” I laughed and wrapped my arms around her waist laying my head against her stomach. “Do you want to know what they talked about?” she asked me.

“Of course.”

“Well at first I thought dad was going to rip his head off. He had that scary vein bugling out of his neck. But he nicely asked Cole if he would sit down and have a chat. It was almost like Cole was a different person. When he talked about you, his eyes sparkled bright and he always had a smile on his face like he was in la-la land. He was very polite and proper and respectful, which I kinda don’t get? At first he seemed like a real jerk off, but anyway, you can totally tell he loves you.”

“Trina, I barely know him, I highly doubt he loves me.”

“Trust me, he does.”

“When did you become so smart?”

“Please, I’ve always been smart,” she said acting like she knew everything. “Do you love him?” she asked.

I sighed and sat up. “Come on, let’s go back inside.” I grabbed her hand and we walked back in the house together. I said goodbye to the rest of my friends and got ready for bed.

It was the middle of the night and I couldn’t sleep. I sneaked outback to have a cigarette. Leaning up against the railing, I thought about something Tommy had said to me earlier tonight before he left. He said, “I’m not sure exactly what was up with Cole, but I know for a fact he likes you. Half the time he doesn’t shut up about you. Whatever it is I’m sure he’ll get over it.”

That was the problem, I don’t think he will. I hurt him. I have been stringing him along because I couldn’t be honest about my feelings for him. I couldn’t even be honest with myself. And now I lost my chance. This is probably for the best.

I heard the back door open and saw my dad walk out. I tried to hide my cigarette, but it was too late. “What are you doing up?” I asked.

“Couldn’t sleep,” he said stealing the cigarette from my hand and taking a drag. “You really shouldn’t smoke.” He handed me back the cigarette. “Why are you still up?”

“I guess I’m still a little wound up from the party,” I said.

“I’m surprised you’re not at your boyfriend’s house.”

I decided to tell my dad the truth about Cole. I know he’d find out sooner or later anyway. “Well dad, Cole’s not really my boyfriend. I asked him to pretend to be so you wouldn’t harass me about being single and try to hook me up.”

“I see.”

“I’m sorry.”

“How about next time you just be honest with me.”

“I will, I promise.”

He looked out into the night thoughtfully. “He doesn’t always dress and act like that, does he?”

“No, uh, that’s not really what Cole’s like.”

“I know. Before you came in and found us, I overheard him on the phone with his mom and I couldn’t understand why someone who loves and respects their mother the way he does, would treat my daughter any different, that’s why I sat down and talked to him. The way he talked about you, if he was lying, he did a pretty good job. He had me convinced enough to believe he loves you.”

“Well if he did, he doesn’t now. I made sure of that.”

“What ever happened, I’m sure he’ll forgive you, I know that much.”

“Thanks dad.”

“Now get some sleep,” he said tugging on my ponytail and we walked back into the house.

Trina tried getting me out of bed bright and early the next morning. Ever since my dad told her she could get her belly button pierced, she wanted it done right away.

“Trina, the place doesn’t even open till noon,” I said sleepily while she pulled on my arm trying to drag me out of bed.

“It will take you that long to get ready, so let’s go,” she said breathless still tugging on my arm.

“Trina,” I grumbled and yanked my arm away causing her to fall. “Go watch some cartoons or something.”

“I’m not five,” she pouted while sitting on the floor with her arms crossed.

“You sure as hell are acting like it. Now leave me alone or I’m not taking you.”

She crawled into bed next to me and turned on my TV. “What are you doing?” I asked annoyed.

“You said to watch cartoons.”

“I meant downstairs.” I took the remote from her and turned off the TV. She crawled across me, purposely digging her knees into me as she got off the bed. I picked up my pillow and threw it at her, but I missed. She put up her hands and stuck out her tongue at me and left the room.

Not even ten minutes later my dad walked in. “Tatum, I made breakfast, come down and eat.”

Seriously? Apparently no one was going to let me sleep. I crawled out of bed and headed to the kitchen to eat breakfast. I got downstairs in time to hear my dad reminding Trina of all the ground rules she had to abide by to get her belly button pierced or he’d make her take it out.

She had to keep her grades up once school started, no belly tops to show it off, and about a million other things that were never going to happen. I give it two weeks before he makes her take it out.

After breakfast Trina was rushing me to get ready. “Wouldn’t you rather go to the pool first?” I asked.

“No, let’s go.” I sighed and got ready.

When we arrived at the tattoo shop, Trina started getting nervous. “Relax, it doesn’t hurt,” I said trying to calm her nerves. I don’t think it helped. “It’s okay, if you changed your mind we can go home.”

“No! I’m okay.” She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. The piercer walked out and called Trina’s name. She looked at me nervously. “Will you come with me and hold my hand?” I smiled at her and walked with her to the back room.

The guy explained everything he was going to do before he did it. I told her to close her eyes and relax. It only feels like a quick pinch and it’s over and done with before you know it. The guy told her I was right and she relaxed a little. Once the needle pierced the skin, she tightened her eyes and squeezed my hand, then let go. The piercer told her to open her eyes, he was done.

She did and looked down. She was glowing. The guy told her everything she had to do to keep it clean and to keep it from getting infected. I knew I would have to tell her again later because she wasn’t paying attention.

“You’re right, it didn’t really hurt,” Trina said when we got in the car. She wouldn’t stop staring at it.

“Remember you can’t touch it till it heals.”

“I know, I know,” she mumbled.

We drove to Landon’s house to go swimming in his pool. It was the closest and free. He had off today so he was already swimming.

“Hey guys,” Landon said as we walked out back.

“Look!” Trina shouted, running up to him showing off her belly ring.

“Nice, little T,” he said rustling her hair.

“How’s the water?” I asked.

“Nice and warm. Your dad not coming?”

“No. Him and Tyler are gonna spend the day together.”

“Does he know you took her to get her belly button pierced?” he asked in a low voice.

“Yes, he knows.”

We spent all day at Landon’s swimming. Trina had fallen asleep on Landon’s couch, so Landon and I went out back so we wouldn’t wake her.

“Here,” Landon said handing me a beer. “What’s up with you and Cole?”

Here we go, I thought. “What do you mean?”

“At the lake you guys were great and yesterday you guys barely talked.”

“It’s…I don’t know…complicated.”

“The only thing that makes it complicated is your stubbornness and the fact you can be a real asshole.”

“Thanks Landon,” I said sarcastically.

“He’s right,” Trina agreed walking out rubbing her eyes and lying down next to me on the lounge chair.

“I really feel the love guys, thanks.”

“Tatum, the problem is you. You let your stubbornness get in the way of how you really feel. Because you think it’s easy to not love someone. The truth is it’s harder not to love someone.”

“What the hell kind of psychobabble bullshit is that?”

Landon gave me a serious look and said, “Tatum, you don’t listen.” I threw up my hands. “You need to stop worrying about what might happen.”

I looked him still not getting what he was trying to say.

“What he’s trying to say is you need to focus on the now,” Trina mumbled into my shoulder.

“No more Dr. Phil for you,” I told her.

“Tatum, I know part of it is because you saw what it was like for your dad, but it doesn’t always end that way. You can’t go through life being afraid to love.”

“Is that why you won’t tell Cole you love him, cause of dad?” Trina asked. I looked at her, she was so young, and I didn’t know how to explain it.

“Why hello, and who are you, my fine young friend?” Jaxson said to Trina as he came out back.

“Back off, she’s my little sister and only thirteen,” I threatened Jaxson.

“A very mature thirteen,” Trina countered.

“Still jailbait.”

“Yeah, even I won’t go there,” Jaxson said looking a little embarrassed.

“Come on Trina, it’s time to go home.”

We said goodbye to the boys and went home. When we got back, my dad had dinner ready. I told Trina we’d watch a scary movie in my room tonight before we go to bed.

After dinner, I went upstairs, changed into my pajamas, and set up the movie. Trina came in with a big bowl of popcorn, wearing a tank top, shorts, and fuzzy slippers. She crawled in the bed next to me and I pressed play. We decided to watch Texas Chainsaw Massacre. Trina had never seen it, but I’ve already seen it about a million times. She covered her eyes through most of the movie.

Towards the end my dad walked in and scared us so bad even I screamed.

“Sorry,” he laughed. “Didn’t mean to scare you.” He sat on the bed and finished watching the rest of the movie with us. When it was over he told Trina to go to bed he needed to talk to me.

I waited until Trina was out of earshot. “What’s up dad?”

“Trina was telling me your afraid to love, cause of me?”

I sighed and put the empty bowl of popcorn on my nightstand. “It’s just, I saw how hard it was for you after mom died.”

“Tatum. I loved your mother and always will, and not one day goes by that I don’t think about her. But I don’t want you to think not falling in love is gonna save you from heartache. I don’t regret it one bit. If I never met your mother, you wouldn’t be here,” he said lifting my chin to look at him. “To have spent the time I did with your mother is better than a lifetime without her. You can’t deny what the heart wants.”

Huh? Where have I heard that before?

“Thanks dad,” I said giving him a hug.

“Why is that every time we talk, it ends up sounding like a hallmark special.”

He shoved me and said, “Go to bed smartass.” I laughed. He turned to me before he left the room. “Think about what I said.”

“I will,” I told him before he closed the door behind him. I turned off the TV and lay down to go to sleep. But it wasn’t long before I was interrupted.

“Tatum, Tatum,” Trina said shaking me.

“What the hell do you want?”

“I’m scared, can I sleep with you?” Too tired to argue, I lifted up the covers and let her jump in.