The Guild of Fallen Clowns (8 page)

A man approached. Without looking up he
pulled out and opened his wallet. “How much?”

“That’ll be twelve fifty,” Alan replied.

The man pulled out a few bills and reached
to hand them to Alan. The two made eye contact and the guy
froze.

“Alan?”

“Hi, Dave.”

Dave was Paula’s husband. Less than ten
minutes earlier, she told him he was out of town on business.

Dave looked back inside and said, “I’ll be
there in a sec, Deb. Go on and start without me.”

He moved outside with Alan and gently closed
the door behind him. Closing the gap between them, he placed his
arm over Alan’s shoulder.

“Hey, buddy, I know this doesn’t look good,
but you know how it is. We’re both guys. I’m sure I can count on
you not to break the man code by saying something you might
regret.”

“It’s none of my business, Dave.”

“Good. That’s right, Alan. It’s not your
business and besides, we go back a long way.”

“You picked on me in high school,” Alan
said.

“Oh, come on, Alan, it was just a few
swirlies. The other guys wanted to do a lot more, but I wouldn’t
let them. Seriously, Alan, I need to know I can count on you to
keep this between us. You wouldn’t want to hurt Paula, would you?
Neither of us wants that. Am I right?”

The truth of the matter was that Dave was
correct. Even without the fear of possible retribution from Dave,
Alan didn’t want to see Paula get hurt. He knew this secret would
likely come out eventually, but he didn’t want Paula to have his
face burned in her memory for the rest of her life as the face that
brought her such devastating news.

“I won’t say anything,” Alan said.

Dave removed his arm from Alan’s shoulder
and smiled. “I knew I could count on you, pal. I know I wasn’t that
nice to you back in school, but I always did like you. You’re a
stand-up kinda guy.”

This was an interesting choice of words
coming from a douche bag just caught cheating on his wife. But Alan
chose to let it go and try to forget about the entire
encounter.

For added insurance Dave reached into his
wallet and pulled out a ten-dollar bill. He folded the bill
lengthwise and held it out between his first two fingers. The
payoff came with conditions.

“I want to give you a better tip, Alan. But
I need you to promise once more that you won’t say anything to
Paula.”

“You can keep the money, Dave. I’m not going
to say anything.”

Dave smiled, grabbed Alan’s hand, placed the
bill inside, and closed his fingers around it.

“Keep it, buddy. It’s yours.”

Alan didn’t want to stick around and argue
over it. Instead, he returned a halfhearted smile and walked
away.

On the way to his car, he struggled with his
feelings. On one hand he felt sad for Paula. She was a good person
who didn’t deserve to be treated like that. Unlike Dave, she’d
never treated him as a lesser human being. She didn’t have it in
her to look down on anyone. However, on the other hand, he felt an
enormous weight lifted from him. The obvious pity she unconsciously
displayed for his lifestyle no longer hurt. The dagger was pulled
out and now he took pity on her.

She might not be aware of it, but her life
wasn’t as picture perfect as the world viewed it. Just knowing this
made Alan feel relieved that someone he idolized also had flaws.
Paula had her own demons to deal with. He grappled with an extreme
amount of guilt for allowing himself to revel in her misfortune. He
wouldn’t wish it upon anyone, but he couldn’t stop himself from
feeling good after discovering Dave’s tawdry secret.

*****

The short shift ended with his final
delivery to a customer he knew well. The familiar address was the
house he grew up in, and the new owners were his brother, Dale, his
wife, Cheryl, and their two kids.

He pulled into the driveway, grabbed the
pizza from the passenger seat, and exited the car. He paused to
look at the old house before going to the front door. The painted
white brick veneer below the picture window brought back one of his
only memories of his father allowing him to help with an
adult
project. He and Dale sat inches from his father and
looked on with awe as he brushed the heavy paint over the
bricks.

Normally, their father was fine with the
boys looking on as long as they stayed out of the way. However, on
that day, he looked at his wide-eyed sons and decided to break with
tradition. He asked them if they wanted to help. Of course the two
were overjoyed at the prospect of helping their dad with such an
important project. He retrieved a couple of two-inch wide brushes
from the garage and showed them how to dab the brush into the
bucket, brush the excess on the side of the can, and work it into
the crevices of the bricks.

Between the two of them, they probably only
covered a few square feet of brick, but that fact was irrelevant in
the grand scheme of life. At least for Alan, this was his greatest
memory of his father.

Dale answered the door. “Hey, Uncle Boogy.
What are you waiting for? C’mon in.”

Alan paused on the porch, still looking at
the painted bricks. “Do you remember when we helped Dad paint this
wall?” he asked.

Dale stepped out to look at the bricks. “I
wish I did. I was too young. I don’t have many memories of
Dad.”

“I can almost see him there, showing us how
to use the paintbrushes,” Alan said.

“I envy you. The only thing I remember is
Dad coming home in his uniform.”

They both paused for a few seconds before
Dale broke their moment of silence. “Now let’s get that pizza
inside. The kids keep asking when Uncle Boogy is showing up with
the food.”

“Uncle Boogy! Uncle Boogy!” came cries from
inside.

Cheryl followed the two girls.

“Hey, Alan, let me get that pizza before
they knock it out of your hands,” she said.

The twins each took a leg and squeezed
hard.

“I missed you girls too. Now, let go so
Uncle Boogy can bend down and give you both a big hug.” They
released their grip and reached for Alan as he kneeled down to
their level. The two jumped into his waiting arms.

“See what you’re missing, Alan?” Cheryl
said.

Dale added, “Yeah, Boogy. You know you can
come by more often. It’s not right that the only time we see you
anymore is when we order pizza. Hell, you only live ten minutes
from here.”

“I know, guys. I really should make more of
an effort. It’s not that I don’t want to see you. We just have odd
hours.”

“That’s true, but Cheryl’s always here. You
don’t have to wait till our schedules work. Stop in anytime. The
girls would love to see you more often. When you bring the pizzas,
you always have to run.”

“Yeah, Alan, do you have to go already?
Can’t you stay and have a slice before leaving?” Cheryl said.

“Well, as a matter of fact, I’m done for the
night. I can stick around awhile.”

“Great! Oh wait, it’s early. Why are you off
already?” Dale asked.

Alan didn’t want to share the disappointment
of his suspension, so he lied. “I wasn’t scheduled but things got
tight and I offered to help out for a few hours. Don’t ask
questions, detective. Let’s just go inside so you can eat your
pizza.”

Cheryl looked down to the twins and said,
“Did you hear that girls? Uncle Boogy is staying to have dinner
with us.” The girls cheered with excitement. Each grabbed a hand
and dragged Alan into the kitchen.

Cheryl got the plates out and cut a slice
into bite-size pieces for the girls.

“Go ahead, Alan, take some,” Cheryl
said.

“That’s okay, you don’t have enough. I’m not
really hungry anyway.”

Cheryl took a slice from the box, placed it
on a plate, and handed it to Alan. “Now get yours, Dale. I’m not
going to feed all of you.”

“Yes, ma’am,” Dale said as he eagerly took a
piece from the box.

Alan took a bite and noticed lines etched
into one of the doorjambs into the kitchen. One was about three
feet high with the words “Little Man” written above it. He pointed
to it and said, “That was right after Dad died.”

“How do you know?” Dale said.

“Because that’s when Mom started calling you
Little Man.”

“Really? I thought she called me that since
I was a baby.”

“No. She started calling you that after Dad
died because you always mimicked him. You didn’t stop when he was
gone. Instead, you did it more.”

“Really, I don’t remember any of that.”

“All I did was cry for a long time after he
died. I wasn’t Mom’s little man. As the older brother, I should
have stepped up, but I didn’t.”

“Stepped up? You were only seven. You didn’t
do anything wrong. And you shouldn’t feel bad about it,” Dale
said.

Alan didn’t want to make it about him, and
the truth was that he never gave it much thought. The memory might
still be repressed if Dale had painted over the markings on the
doorjamb.

“Look, Boogy. I may have acted like Dad, but
I barely remember him. You were older. Of course his death would be
harder on you, but you should feel lucky to at least have some
memories of him. That thing with the paint is a good example. I
would give anything to be able to remember that.”

Alan looked at his little brother and said,
“If you want to know who Dad was, take a good look in the mirror.
I’m not saying you look like him. You look more like Mom, but
everything else about you is Dad. You even became a cop.”

“I’m sure you’re a lot like him too, Boogy,”
Dale said.

“No, Dale. Don’t get me wrong. I’m okay with
it. I’m happy about it because looking at you helps me remember
Dad. I’m just saying it might help you to do the same. If you want
to know him, you don’t have to look far.”

“Aw, that’s so sweet,” Cheryl said.

Her words snapped Dale and Alan out of
it.

“We gotta stop talking like this, Boogy.
We’re starting to sound like women.”

“Yeah, right. What were we thinking?” Alan
added.

Dale picked up his soda can, stepped in
front of the hallway mirror, and said, “Cheers to you, Dad.”

Alan and Cheryl raised their cans as
well.

Dale moved back into the kitchen. “So what
have you been up to, brother?”

“Well, I started my job at the carnival. Oh,
I almost forgot. Do you remember the old Krauss House?”

“Of course I remember Krauss House. That’s
the place you wouldn’t get within a mile of.”

“Fifty feet,” Alan corrected.

“Yeah, sure—fifty feet—whatever. You were
scared to death of that place.”

“It was fifty feet, give or take. But I got
much closer last night.”

“Really? So did I. Well, it wasn’t last
night, but I was called out there about a month ago. The old Krauss
couple left it to their grand daughter and she’s—”

“Mary Krauss,” Alan interrupted.

“Yeah, Mary. So you met her?” Dale said.

“Yes, that’s what I was saying. Last night
she ordered a pizza. I delivered it, and I was inside Krauss
House.”

“Did you go in the attic?” Dale asked.

“Go in the attic? Why would I do that? I was
just delivering a pizza.”

“Well, I went in the attic. And it was at
night. She called to report noises and I went to check things
out.”

“You went into the attic?”

“Yeah. I couldn’t find anything, so I had to
be sure the place was clear before leaving. It wasn’t a big deal.”
Dale noticed how his statement amazed Alan. “What, you’re not still
afraid of that place are you, Boogy?”

Alan didn’t want to appear weak. “No, no. I
was just bringing it up to tell you that Mary Krauss is fixing the
old place up.”

“That’s twice you mentioned her first name.
Am I sensing a love connection? Boogy and Mary sitting in a tree—”
Without missing a beat, the twins chimed in, spelling
“K-I-S-S-I-N-G.”

“Leave him alone, Dale,” Cheryl broke
in.

“Not likely, Dale,” Alan said. “Why would
someone like her have any interest in a middle-aged pizza delivery
clown?”

“Alan! Don’t say that. You’re the nicest guy
I know. Any girl would be lucky to have you as their boyfriend,”
Cheryl said.

“Yeah, bro, stop being so hard on yourself.
Your problem isn’t with your job. It’s your self-esteem. And, maybe
a little bit with your hair. You gotta stop cutting it yourself,
dude.”

“Dale is right, Alan. I keep telling you I’d
be happy to cut your hair.”

“There you go, Alan. Cheryl used to do hair
for a living. Look at mine. She does a great job. She could
help…modernize your style so you might be able to get a date.”

All this attention on his dating life, or
lack thereof, was uncomfortable for Alan. Even if he was interested
in Mary, he couldn’t do anything about it because he would never be
able to get over his fears of Krauss House and the shadow spirit
within. He wouldn’t be able to work on his self-esteem or dating
life while running away from all the ghosts. If he was going to
make any changes, he first needed to deal with his Peepers problem.
This spirit found him in Clown World. Then he lured him into the
Haunted Labyrinth of Mirrors. He sensed that avoiding that place
wouldn’t be the end of Peepers. There was only one thing that
might
be able to help him.

“Are you guys going to church tomorrow?”
Alan asked.

“Whoa! Where did that come from?” Dale
asked.

“I was just wondering if maybe it would be
okay if I joined you.”

“Of course we’re going, and you’re always
welcome to join us,” Cheryl said.

“What’s with the sudden interest in going to
church? You haven’t been since Mom died five years ago.”

“I don’t know. I’m not saying this will be a
regular thing. I just think it’s time to give it a try.”

“Give it a try? What’s that about? You know
the drill, Boogy. You go every Sunday and pray. You hope someone is
listening, but you can never know for sure. It’s like an insurance
policy. You pay in, and hope it pays off in the end.”