The Guild of Fallen Clowns (46 page)

“Are you talking about that warning I gave
you?” Dave asked. His face turned red and he raised his hand and
air jabbed his index finger toward Alan. “Because if it is, I stand
by what I said. My family is everything to me, and I won’t stand by
while you or anyone else tries to take it from me. That wasn’t a
threat. It was a promise.”

Alan shook his head and sighed. “You didn’t
hear anything I said. Look, I asked you nicely to get out of my
way. I’m not interested in fighting you, and I’m not interested in
doing anything to hurt your marriage. But my brother could be in
trouble and I’ve already wasted too much time on you. You can
either step aside and let me pass, or stay where you are and find
out how far I’m willing to go to protect
my
family.”

Dave raised both hands in front of his chest
and stepped to the side. “Hey, man, you understand where I’m coming
from. Family is important. I’m not stopping you.”

*****

Sensing they might catch her eavesdropping,
Paula quietly slipped out to the garage.

*****

As Alan started up the stairs, Dave called
out, “What will I tell Paula? She was looking forward to having a
clown for the party.”

Lyle tugged on Alan’s costume to get his
attention. Alan turned back to see Lyle grinning back at him.

“What about the tights?” Lyle said.

“No way, he’d never do that,” Alan
whispered.

“Do what?” Dave asked from a few steps
behind.

*****

Standing at the open back door of his car,
Alan added the final touch of makeup to Dave’s face.

“This will have to do. Are you sure you want
to do this, Dave?” Alan said.

Dave stepped back and looked down at his
costume.

“I’m sorry, but the tights were all I had,”
Alan said as Dave pulled at them in the upper thigh.

“It’s okay, but…” Dave replied. He tugged
harder at the material covering his crotch.

“What’s wrong? Too tight?” Alan said.

“No, it’s not that.” He pulled and examined
himself. “They just make me look small. My dick isn’t this
small.”

“Must be the material,” Lyle said before
winking at Alan.

“What else do you have in that suitcase?”
Dave said. He leaned into the backseat and riffled through the
assorted clown accouterments.

“Just gags and tricks. What are you looking
for?” Alan asked.

“Aha!” Dave pulled an item out and stood
beside the car.” He held the bulb end of a squirting flower.
Dangling from it was the long tube with a plastic flower attached
at the opposite end.

“The squirting flower?” Alan asked
curiously. “But it doesn’t really go with that costume.”

Ignoring Alan, Dave bunched the tubing and
flower behind the bulb and shoved the entire piece into his
tights.

Alan and Lyle watched with mouths open at
the sight of Dave adjusting the bulb for maximum effect.

“Uh, you might want to buy yourself a new
one,” Lyle mumbled in Alan’s ear.

Proud of his placement of the device, Dave
stood back and pushed out his pelvis. He pointed both index fingers
to his crotch and said, “Huh. Not so small anymore, is it?”

Lyle bust out laughing and opened the
passenger door, but Alan couldn’t take his eyes away from the
sight. Sure the bulb inflated the area, but instead of appearing to
be a large penis, it looked more like an enlarged third testicle.
Alan didn’t want to set Dave off again by telling him it didn’t
look right, so he thought a subtle warning might change his
mind.

“You might want to think twice about using
that, Dave. The bulb has water in it. If it leaks—”

“I know it has water in it. That’s what
keeps it from collapsing from the pressure of the tights. It’s not
going to leak.” Dave looked down to admire himself one more time.
“Look at me. The moms out back are going to be so jealous of
Paula.”

Alan knew it was a losing battle and he had
more important things on his mind. He closed the rear car door.
Lyle was already waiting in the passenger seat, still snickering at
Dave through the closed window.

Dave couldn’t wait to show off his new look.
“Tell Paula I’m sorry we couldn’t stay,” Alan called out as Dave
jogged across the lawn toward the back yard. Alan jumped in the car
and sped away.

*****

“Didn’t you say you hired a clown for the
party, Paula?” one of the mothers asked.

“Yes, that was the plan, but something came
up and he’s not going to—” Paula stopped in mid-sentence as she
watched a curious sight approaching from the side yard. Dave
pranced toward them dressed in a costume that was a cross between a
court jester and a circus clown.

“Did somebody order a clown for this
birthday party?” Dave hollered. Everyone at the party, parents and
children alike, turned to watch as he danced across the yard on his
way to the deck. Kids dropped what they were doing and cheered as
they rushed toward the peculiar entertainer. They gathered in front
of him, blocking his path to the deck stairs.

“Hello, kiddies. My name is Chester the
Jester,” he said in a high-pitched voice. The children pushed to
get closer, each trying to make him their own personal friend as
they tugged at his arms, legs, and his bedazzled red and yellow
jester’s jacket.

From behind, Paula heard snickers from a
group of mothers. She turned with a smile and they instantly went
silent, trying to avoid eye contact with her. She turned back to
see Dave gently guiding the children out of his way. For an
instant, she had a clear view of the unnatural bulge protruding
from his red and yellow tights. Slightly off to the left side of
the raised mound, a handful of spiked points attempted to pierce
the strained fabric. The plastic flower petals shifted as he
moved.

Paula choked on her drink. Mortified, she
stepped to the side to do her best to block the gaggle’s view.
“Dave, get over here!” she ordered.

Dave smiled back as more children flocked to
him. A husky boy lunged in and hugged him around the waist. “I
know,” Dave replied to Paula. “You were expecting Alan.” He nudged
the boy off and stepped closer. She looked down and almost fell
over from embarrassment. His crotch was now soaking wet. The trail
of water continued to grow as the water leaked down the red leg of
his tights.

Paula’s slim frame wasn’t enough to block
this new development from the eyes of the moms behind her. Her eyes
shot to the side, but she was too embarrassed to turn and face
them. Dave was oblivious to it all, believing her concerned
expression had to do with Alan’s absence.

He focused on the children gathering around
him. “Go back and play, kids. Chester will be back in a few
minutes,” he said. The children complied and he stood at the bottom
of the short set of deck steps. Paula blocked his movement and
rolled her eyes in disgust.

“Chill out, honey. Alan was feeling sick so
I told him to go home. I think he was worried that I might beat him
up if he backed out. That’s why he brought his friend, as a
bodyguard or something,” he said.

She rolled her eyes again and gritted her
teeth. “Don’t do this to me,” she growled.

“Don’t worry,” he reassured her. “I calmed
him down. At first, I was a little ticked off. I was like, Alan,
we’re not in high school anymore. Do you really see me that way
after all these years? I mean, come on, dude. We’re adults now,
grow up. Then I insisted he go home. But first, I asked him if he
had any extra clown costumes in his car so I could do his job for
him. He felt bad, but I told him his health was more important than
this party, so I ordered him to get some rest and not to worry. I
got it covered.”

Paula took a deep breath as she processed
his deceptive account of what had happened in the basement. Her
body calmed, and she glared into his eyes. A devious smirk replaced
the anger and humiliation in her face. Dave looked at her
expectantly, waiting for a verbal response that didn’t come.

“So, I still need to get the sodas and ice,”
he said as he took one step up and waited for her to move aside so
he could pass. She didn’t flinch but instead looked down at the man
she married, micro-nods of her head expressing agreement with
unspoken thoughts.

“Do you mind?” he said, waiting for her to
move.

She exhaled, and then smiled back at him.
“Forget about that. Go out there and…entertain everyone. I’ll get
the drinks and ice,” she said.

Dave shrugged. “Are you sure? It’ll take a
couple of trips.”

“Go,” she replied. She waved him off and
turned toward the back door. The mothers watched her like a herd of
deer caught in the headlights. Without slowing down, Paula looked
at them as she opened the door. “I’m married to an idiot,” she
mumbled, loud enough for them to hear. The door closed behind her
and the mothers relaxed, breaking out in restrained laughter.

Seconds later, one of the children yelled
out, “Hey, look, Chester peed his pants!” Instantly, every child
instinctively pointed at Dave and screamed out in laughter, each
one trying to be louder than the rest. Looking like a little boy
holding back his urge to pee, Dave cupped himself with both hands
and rushed toward the house. The moms showed no mercy, laughing
full out as he rushed by sideways in a feeble attempt to mask his
embarrassment.

As Geno finished tying off the gag behind
Joe’s head, Joe struggled to free himself from the ropes
restraining his body to the metal chair. Geno found humor in his
struggle.

“Try as hard as you want, pizza man. Soon
you will learn as they have.” He moved in front of Joe and pointed
to Dale and Ringmaster, bound and gagged in chairs beside him. “I’m
an expert at restraining people.”

Geno stepped out of the large circular
space, leaving the three alone. The lights dimmed. Dale,
Ringmaster, and Joe looked around the room until movement in the
mirrored panel opposite them drew their attention. Peepers appeared
in the glass, blocking parts of their own reflections. Through his
gag, Joe let out a “huh” to express his confusion.

Staring across the room, Peepers smiled,
then moved his left foot through the glass to the floor of the
labyrinth. The rest of his body soon followed until he was into the
room with them. Again, Joe managed to express himself with a
muffled but recognizable “What the hell?”

Peepers stepped into the center of the room
and raised his arms, palms up. Ringmaster closed his eyes and
turned his head away.

“My name is Peepers. I am master of the
Guild of Fallen Clowns.” On cue, circus music filled the room as
Peepers turned to face the mirrors he had just stepped through.
With his hands still raised, he watched as more images appeared
from the darkness of the mirrors. Within seconds the twenty-foot
span of panels filled with distorted faces and colorfully clad
bodies of all sizes and shapes—a virtual gathering of the
creepiest-looking clowns one could imagine. Each one celebrated
their gruesome leader by pumping fists, whistling, and cheering as
they slapped each other’s backs, high-fived, and enthusiastically
danced in place.

In the center of the frenzied apparition
stood Agor and Spanky, leading the rally. Upon seeing Peepers
freely moving outside the mirrors, Agor confidently jumped forward.
The panel shook from the impact of his body, but the invisible
shield between realms prevented his passage. Spanky understood what
Agor was trying to do and decided to test his own powers against
the barrier. Peepers and Agor were the only spirits watching as the
others continued with their hysteria. After watching Agor’s pitiful
attempt, Spanky tried a more subtle approach. He pushed his hand
forward. As it reached the edge, his hand encountered little
resistance. Emboldened, Spanky moved his arm through to his elbow.
He smiled as he gripped his freed hand. Then, without warning, his
hand and half of his arm turned to a mist and evaporated in front
of him. He pulled away, but his arm didn’t return from the trip.
Holding his stub at the elbow, he snarled at Peepers.

Peepers sneered back. “You two failed to
complete tasks. Not worthy of movement to solid world.”

Peepers snorted and lowered his arms. His
motion quieted the music and the Guild as they focused their
attention forward. Peepers stood motionless with his feet and knees
pressed together. His body appeared to rotate one hundred eighty
degrees until he faced the three captives. Dale matched his stare
with one of contempt. Joe jerked his head and raised one nostril as
he mumbled an undistinguishable obscenity from behind his gag. In
the middle of them sat The Ringmaster. His eyes were still closed,
his head tilted down to his shoulder. Peepers grinned.

Geno re-entered the room. His right arm held
objects close to his chest. He stopped and looked at Peepers. “Now,
Father?” he asked. Peepers replied with a nod. Geno moved to Joe
and pulled one of the Peepers figures from under his arm and placed
it on Joe’s lap. Before stepping up to Ringmaster, Joe writhed his
body enough to send the figure to the floor in front of him. Geno
turned and started to reach for it but Peepers stopped him. “No! He
cannot escape me now. Leave it.”

Geno backed away and placed the second
figure on Ringmaster’s lap. Ringmaster’s closed eyes cringed from
the contact.

Dale watched as Geno placed the final figure
on his lap. Like Joe, he immediately began thrusting to expel it
from his lap. Geno laughed and reached for the figure. “It’s
already too late,” he said to Dale. He removed it from his lap and
stood it on the floor in front of him. Then he leaned in to
Ringmaster’s ear and whispered, “Now you will see what it’s like in
here. Be careful for what you wish for. Heh heh.” He grabbed the
figure from Ringmaster’s lap and placed it on the floor in front of
his bound feet. He stood Joe’s figure upright, like the others, and
moved to the side.