The Guarded Widow (18 page)

Heady warmth flooded her body. And then just as she was prepared to offer him more, he pulled his mouth away but held her where she was, curved comfortably against him, his hand still entangled in her hair.

“Olivia, I want to know what in the world you were talking about. Right now!”

Sighing, she gave in.

Since she didn’t feel comfortable looking directly at him as she divulged the true reason for her feelings, she stared at the buttons on his shirt.

“I guess I just thought that maybe you didn’t want your mother to know about me and the kids. I realize you decided to stay here because you’re a police officer and I know you made this decision because it’s part of your job…”

The remainder of her sentence was cut off by Gavin’s mouth. It was rough and demanding as he allowed his pent up frustrations to ravage her.

Then he jerked her free and gave her a small shake. Narrowly restrained fury caused his words to rush out as he let his temper flare.

“You don’t get it do you? I’m here because I want to be here. I need to be here, Olivia. My decision to stay with you, at your house, has absolutely nothing to do with my job as a police officer. I couldn’t live with myself if something happened to you. I need to know you’re safe. I…”

Then he bit down hard on his own tongue, stunned.

I just nearly blurted out that I love her. What was I thinking? I’ve only known her for about six weeks and here I am about to profess my love to her. Do I love her? Gavin wondered as he looked down at the woman he held in his arms and studied her face. How does she feel about me?

Olivia smiled as she lifted her eyes back up to his and wrapped her arms around him, wanting to hold onto him.

“I don’t even know anything about you or your family. I was afraid you didn’t want to share them with me.”

Tenderly, he brushed the hair away from her face and gently took her by the hand, leading her down the stairs.

As Olivia followed him, she berated herself. What am I doing? I’ve always said I didn’t want to become involved in any relationship until my boys were grown and on their own. What’s he expecting from me? What the heck am I doing?

Gavin guided her into the family room and took a seat directly beside her on the couch, all the while continuing to hold her hand. With a disarming grin, he lifted her hand to his lips to kiss each one of the tips of her fingers.

“You’re right, Olivia. You really know nothing about me. So I’ll start by telling you, I was born and raised in
Pittsburgh
. I moved here to
Liberty
, a little over three years ago when I accepted my position with the police force. My parents, Frank and Elsa Rafferty, they’ve just recently celebrated their forty third wedding anniversary. They’re best friends and still happily married, I might add. I have one brother who’s three years younger than I am, his name is Ahron. And to be honest, I haven’t seen him in over four years. He’s never actually disclosed to us what his career is so I guess I’ve always assumed whatever he does is illegal and since I’m a cop that’s why his job has always been a secret. I’m sorry my Mom called me here, at your house. Ron was apparently compelled to share your home phone number with her. When I asked you to be quiet during my conversation, it wasn’t to hide you. It was because I wanted to break it to her, as quickly and painlessly as possible, that I wouldn’t be home for Christmas this year. I knew she was going to be really disappointed and I just wanted to get the conversation over and done with,” he said, sheepishly.

His warm expression became a look of concern as Olivia’s eyes began filling with tears.

“Oh Gavin, you can’t stay here now that you’ve told me all this. It’s breaking my heart. I fast forward my life twenty years and place myself in your mother’s shoes. I know without a doubt I’d want my children to come home and visit me. Please, you need to go call her and tell her you’ll be there.”

She’d no sooner uttered her last word when his eyes turned violently dark. His words were spoken in a dangerously low voice.

“Olivia, I can’t do that. I won’t do that. There’s no way on earth I could walk away and leave you alone at this point in time. You need to get that through your thick head.”

He stood up and walked over to the fireplace located on the far wall of the family room. As he spoke with his back to her, he fiddled with a pewter candle stick on the mantel.

“You don’t understand. I’ll never forget finding you, half naked, huddled in a corner on your kitchen floor. I can never erase the image of your face swollen and bruised, or your skin clawed open and bleeding.”

He spun around to stare at her in disbelief, vehemently spewing out his words. “I will see this through to the end. The man threatened to kill you.”

Olivia rose from the sofa and went to him. Lifting her hands, she placed them alongside Gavin’s face and cradled his fierce expression as she searched his eyes.

“I know he did. But I’m feeling guilty because in my heart, I want you here with us. I feel safe with you.”

She slid up on her tip toes to lightly kiss him.

“I can’t thank you enough for the peace of mind you’ve given me these last few weeks.”

Gathering her close he rested his chin on her hair thinking to himself, it eases my mind too.

Suddenly she pulled away and narrowed her eyes, studying him.

“Gavin, do your parents travel at all?”

She didn’t even give him a chance to answer before excitedly relaying her idea.

“They can come here. I’d love to have your parents come out for Christmas. They can stay the week if they’d like. Oh, please say you’ll give them a call. Actually, you know what? If you won’t call them, then I will.”

Adding a slight pout to her lips, she began to lightly trail her fingers up and down his arm. He dropped his gaze down to enjoy the sight of her pretty pouting mouth and contemplated withholding his acceptance of the idea for a few more minutes.

His greedy side won.

“Olivia, it’s not possible. Yes, they do travel but where would they stay? I thought your Dad was arriving on Christmas Eve?” Gavin asked, hoping she wouldn’t see through his slightly over exaggerated tone of voice.

She didn’t.

And since Olivia was intent on having her way, she played right into his hands by easing her curvy body a little closer to his.

“My Dad is coming,” she purred. “But he could sleep in the guest room and your parents could sleep in my room. It’s not a problem. It’s Christmas and families should be together.”

It was then Gavin realized that even if he hadn’t already planned to agree with her suggestion from the start, he’d never have been able to argue with her now. Not when she was gazing up at him with a come and get it look in her eyes.

Narrowing his gaze, he asked in a gravelly voice, “Where are we going to sleep, Olivia?”

She offered him a dazzling, flirtatious smile.

“Why right down here of course. There’s a sofa in the living room, I can sleep in there. You’ll sleep in here because this couch is much bigger. It’s a perfect idea! I’m sure you can behave yourself, Gavin. After all, my father and your parents will be right upstairs.”

A low growl sounded in his throat as he dragged her against him again.

“They aren’t here right now though, are they?”

She started to laugh, pushing half heartedly against his shoulders.

“Gavin, you need to go call your parents. I have too…”

He’d withstood enough flirting and now wanted, no needed, to taste more. His hands which had been slowly encircling her waist began to explore the soft inviting line of her body. He leaned forward, his words spoken in a rough voice.

“I want some of what you just offered me in exchange for my agreement.”

Then he crushed his mouth to hers, allowing his hands free reign.

Olivia responded by pulling him closer. She lightly nipped his lower lip, delighting in the taste of him.

Gavin groaned as his lips followed the line of her jaw before traveling down to the hollow of her neck, tasting the sweet hollow of her throat.

Why am I doing this to myself? He briefly wondered as he began sliding his hands under her shirt, lightly caressing her. Then decided he didn’t care if he was torturing himself. I finally know how her skin feels, became the one and only thought that raced through his mind.

An intense flash of desire began entwining with searing heat, flaming and twisting, deliciously inside her, making Olivia realize sexual need can actually become quite painful. A gratifying moan escaped her parted lips as his hand closed over her breast and his fingertips began a sensual run over her, making her want him now.

Regrettably, drawing as much willpower as she could muster, Olivia withdrew her mouth from his.

“Gavin,” she barely rasped out. “Gavin, we need to stop. I’m sorry, but I can’t.”

He roughly gripped both her upper arms to further enable her retreat and fixed his smoldering gaze on hers.

“Olivia, I want you. There’s no doubt in either of our minds about that. I don’t know how much more of this I can take.”

Quite frankly, she wasn’t sure how much more she’d be able to take either.

“I think it’ll best if we just don’t touch each other. Each time we do it becomes harder for me to back away,” she said and ran her tongue over her lips, still tasting him. “I’m starting to get scared that I won’t be able to turn away from you. I feel it, Gavin. I feel the intense heat between us. I really do. I know how frustrated you must be feeling.”

As Gavin stared at her, he tried to compose his thoughts. When he finally did, he gave her a searing look from head to toe.

“I believe you do understand this frustration, Olivia. But don’t worry , I can’t touch you like that again. I don’t know how much more self control I have left either.”

He flashed a disarming grin.

“I’ll go give my parents a call right now. I think it will be best if we have extra people in the house.” A wicked gleam flickered in his eyes. “Don’t you?”

She only nodded in agreement.

“I think we should do the tree hike today after the boys get home from their half day of school,” he said. “Knowing my mother, she’ll probably show up here by nine o’clock tomorrow morning.”

Olivia smiled and started to reach for him, but then thought better of it and decided it was best to drop her hand.

“I like that idea, Gavin. We’ll all go today.”

Excited to tell the boys about the hike, they drove down to the bus stop, together. As they waited for the bus, Olivia slid out to retrieve the mail. Shivering, she jumped back into the car and began ripping open Christmas cards.

“We’re really going to have to bundle up this afternoon,” she absently commented.

Gavin sat beside her, looking out the window, lost in his own thoughts.

He was seriously considering asking Olivia to marry him. But was it for the right reasons? He asked himself silently. I mean it’s not only based on my desire for her. What I feel for her and the kids is already so much more than I’ve ever experienced in the past for anyone else. So why not? My own parents have been married for over forty years and they only knew each other for three months prior to their wedding.

Olivia’s sharp inhalation of breath caused Gavin’s head to snap toward her as he asked, “What is it?”

Her face, now pale, looked stricken as she stared at a jovial Santa Claus which was smiling on the front of one of the Christmas cards she was holding. Her hands were trembling, uncontrollably.

Gavin, seeing her distress, promptly reached over and took it from her. From the outside it looked like a traditional holiday greeting card.

However, the inside of the card menacingly read, I will see you very soon, Mrs. Jones.

“It’s from him. I know it’s from him,” she stammered before turning her face away as she tried to compose herself. Not arguing with her, Gavin immediately started searching through the numerous cards and torn envelopes lying upon her lap.

“Which envelope did this card arrive in?” he impatiently demanded.

Olivia glanced over at him.

“I don’t know,” she snapped. “I was just tearing them open and enjoying them when I happened to rip open this one. Give me a minute to gather my wits again. There are only five cards here. Let me figure out which envelope doesn’t have a familiar address.”

Nervously biting her lower lip, she began scanning the torn envelopes.

“Oh Gavin,” she gasped. “This one doesn’t have a return address or any post office markings at all. This means he probably placed it in the mailbox himself.”

Panic starting to rise up in her throat as she comprehended the implication of the missing postmark. Just the thought of that awful man being so close to her children, their home, terrified her.

The yellow school bus’s high pitched squealing brakes caught their attention as it lumbered to a shaky stop and four rowdy, excited boys spilled out. Gavin swore, threw the card onto the dashboard, and then stepped out to meet the kids. He swung open a rear passenger door, allowing the boys to clamber into the backseats. Once they were inside, he closed the car door and stood outside in the cold, silently weighing his options.