The Grown-Up's Guide to Running Away from Home, Second Edition: Making a New Life Abroad (4 page)

What will you do with all this time? Plenty.

You may already have a general idea of where you’d like to go. But you’ll need time to determine one specific area of a country or plan the travel to several different ones. Read about the specific area. Talk to people who’ve been there. Read travel articles. Rent CDs and videos. Read novels set in the area. The Internet is the greatest invention for runaways since backpacks. Travel and expat sites let you interact with experts and expats who live at your preferred destination or have just returned.

If you’ve chosen one specific place to live for a year or longer, make a preliminary visit. Of course, if you want to travel around the world, you won’t do that. That’s the trip itself. But you should take a trip to some locale comparable to where you’ll be going. Especially if you haven’t ever gone overseas. The essential thing is to try it yourself. Make sure you’re not living someone else’s dream or being swayed by some travel writer’s effusive prose.

If you’re going to venture overseas to a country where the primary language is not English, then take a course in the language. Even if you are going to a country where English is widely spoken, having the basics of another language will come in handy as you have more opportunity to travel.

I’ve met several Americans who didn’t learn the native language of the country they chose to live in, and they managed. But the people who knew the basics before they arrived, then worked at improving their language skills, had more fulfilling experiences than those who thought they’d “pick it up when I get there.” As an adult, it takes time to master a language, so give yourself that head start by beginning well before you get on the plane.

Language is not the only difference you’ll have to deal with. The culture and customs will be different. For example, in some countries different hand signals mean different things. You won’t want to give offense. Be a cultural ambassador. Learn about your new environment. It will make your life easier once you’re there.

Read up on the country you’ve chosen. Learn its geography, weather, typical lifestyles, social structure, and the practical details of daily life. Try to get a feel for the culture before you choose your destination.

Talk to people who’ve been there, as either visitors or residents. If you can find a cross-cultural training course, consider taking it. Yes, there will always be surprises, but when you know what to expect in general, you’re better able to weather a new culture and enjoy the experience.

Once you decide to run away, make your wishes known far and wide—unless, of course, your boss will hear about it! Once you start spreading the word, you’ll be surprised how many people will respond with information or friends to look up overseas. They’ll provide the on-site information you need to feel comfortable and learn insider tips on the country and culture you’re headed toward.

Fixing up your house to sell or rent it for the best price takes time. So does deciding what to do with your car, furniture, and all the other baggage of life. You’ll need to review your financial picture with your accountant and other advisors to determine your “running away” budget.

Initial decisions—for example, whether to rent or sell the house—often change from one week to the next, as new input comes in. Ensure that you make well-considered decisions by not rushing them.

Sports trainers often tell their athletes to imagine the moment of hitting the ball or making the big play. After you’ve read enough and seen the area you want, run through in your mind what it will be like there. Read nonfiction and even novels set in the country to understand its background. Then imagine what you will do with your days. Will you take art lessons? Learn to cook native dishes? How will you make friends? Having a mental plan
and making lists galore will give your new life structure, so you won’t feel so adrift when you move.

Be prepared for the fact that a long-term stay is different from a vacation. You’ll have a real life overseas, complete with dentist visits, haircuts, and trips to the vet with the dog. It will just be more interesting—all of it.

It sounds crazy to plan coming back before you’ve even left. But that’s what you should do. I’m not saying you should know exactly where you want to go or when you’ll return, but do consider the options available for a return back to the States. You’ll find that it’s easier to decide what to do with your home and possessions. For example, if you plan to return to the same city, you may want to rent your house so it will be there later, growing in equity and value. However, if you plan to move to a smaller home anyway, you may want to sell your home to avoid concern over it.

The best runaways understand that it’s not enough to simply run away. It’s better to run toward a dream. The possibilities are endless when it comes to new frontiers and activities to explore. It’s exciting to plan where you will go and what you will do when you get there. Plus, you may be surprised that you can live many places on a limited income or be able to afford a better lifestyle than you could in the States. Charles Longino, a gerontologist at Wake Forest University, commented in the
International Herald Tribune
: “There is, and will be, a continued attraction of retirees to overseas retirement places, where on the same income you can afford a maid and some other things you can’t have here.”

This affordability factor accounts for the large numbers of retirees who have chosen destinations such as Mexico or Panama, where they can live more successfully on Social Security.

Though this book is about planning the adventure and not destinations
per se
, this chapter considers some factors to consider before you make a move. Plus, just for the fun of it, you’ll find a few destinations that other Americans have found to their liking. Start dreaming with them.

Don’t select a location for your adventure simply because someone else thinks it’s the most wonderful place on earth. We’re all individuals, and the whole point of being an authentic overseas adventurer is to find your own idea of paradise. One man’s dream of an idyll on the beach in the South Seas could be another’s idea of stultifying inactivity. The exciting city life of London or Paris may be too busy and intense for the nature lover who prefers a tranquil way of life. Take a wide range of factors into consideration. The following are some of the more important ones.

The first consideration is whether you want to travel from one place to another or settle in a new home base. If traveling, you’ll need greater reserves of both flexibility and money. Travel is expensive no matter where you are, for hotels, transportation, and meals in restaurants. There are ways around this, of course. You could camp, stay in youth hostels, or arrange for a series of home exchanges.

The alternative is to find a centrally located home base overseas. This will tie you to one location, but that can be an advantage. You’ll have a regular place where you can return for mail and relax from the travel pressures, yet you can travel from there when you like.

I’m optimistic that someone who really wants an adventure overseas can eventually figure out a way to fund it. But realistically, you need to fine-tune your plans based on what you can afford. As already mentioned, constant travel sends your money flying. An affordable base lets you cut costs by shopping at local markets, eating more meals at home, and having a long-term lease with lower overall costs than tourist hotels.

Also, if you need to work to earn an income, there’s no choice; you’ll need a base. Even if you plan to simply do odd jobs, you need to build contacts and stay in one spot long enough to at least accumulate a stash for your next move (for more about finances, see
chapter 4
, “How to Pay for Your Getaway”).

Consider the cost of living at your destination. If you’re losing sleep over whether you can afford to pay the heat in winter, you won’t enjoy yourself abroad. You can check cost-of-living statistics, but they aren’t particularly helpful except as a very general guide, as they are usually developed with the corporate or government employee in mind. A person on sabbatical or a retiree has an entirely different set of needs. Information from people living in the
location you are interested in, classified ads from local papers, and internet sites on housing are all direct sources that can help you estimate costs.

In general, remember that cities will be more expensive than the countryside. Regions that have become the poster children for overseas dreams, such as Provence or Tuscany, will also tend to cost more than other provincial areas.

Inflation and fluctuating exchange rates can greatly affect the cost of living, so use the most up-to-date information you can find. For example, a few years ago, the U.S. dollar was strong, making life in many European countries a bargain. But in the last few years, the euro strengthened considerably, cutting the buying power for Americans living or traveling there. One big draw for some countries, such as Mexico, is the affordability.

Even if a country is more expensive in general, your actual costs will depend on the style of life you choose. One advantage of moving far from home is that preconceived notions can be jettisoned along with your old lifestyle. We once lived in Detroit, the new-car capital of the United States; we were delighted to find that our neighbors in France couldn’t have cared less what we drove, as long as it didn’t block their gate.

One of the main attractions for some Americans who move overseas is a temperate year-round environment. That’s one reason Mexico and the Caribbean come to mind when people think of paradise. However, many expats dream of England and Ireland, which are not exactly known for their wonderful climates. Your choice is also a matter of comparison between where you lived in the States and where you want to live. One expat from Minneapolis, now in France’s Loire Valley, brags about the warmth in winter, while the ex-Atlantan who lives nearby turns the heat up in her house.