THE GREAT PRETENDER (11 page)

Orlando, Florida

R
eginald removed his cell phone from his pocket clip, brought it to his ear, and said a terse hello. He was surprised to hear Tracy’s voice. They had spoken the night before, and he’d promised to call again tonight.

When he was in Orlando, he made sure he called home often enough to prevent calls to him. All calls to his corporate apartment were forwarded to his cellular—so if they called too often, it could be disastrous.

Maybe there was a fateful reason, after all, that he felt compelled to put an end to this madness.

“Hey, there,” greeted Tracy. “What’s up?”

“Hi. Is something wrong?” he questioned, his palms moistening.

“No, no, everything’s fine. I’m just eager to find out when you’ll be back at home, that’s all. Make any headway today?”

“Well, I think I’ll be working straight through the weekend with the department VPs on a few particulars, but I’m probably here until at least Tuesday. The bigger challenges are still pending.” He glanced over his shoulder at Renee.

“Well, take your time and do what needs doing—no sense in rushing and risking Roger’s wrath. We’ll have plenty of time once you finally get home. But the girls and I really do miss you.”

“There hasn’t been any change, has there?” asked Reggie, sounding panicked.

“Change? Change with what?”

“Well, I just thought that since you called, maybe something had happened.”

“No. Everything’s status quo.”

“Okay, I’ll call tomorrow to check in. G’night.” Reginald pushed the END button on the cell phone. He turned around, ready to continue his conversation with Renee.

“That was my wife, Tracy,” he stated quietly. He returned to his seat on a peach armchair, adjacent to the loveseat Renee was sitting in.

Renee wiped away her tears. Her hand was shaking. She’d been crying for the better part of an hour; tears streaming down her cheeks. She said nothing. She simply gazed at him; her body was stiff with anguish.

“She called to find out when I’d be back, because there are consent papers that we both need to sign for Valerie to continue her treatments.” Reginald kept his eyes downcast, studying the design of the Oriental rug beneath his socks.

He felt an urge to rush his performance and flee, but common sense prevailed. He had to be extremely careful with this—his life with Tracy depended on it.

For a few minutes, they sat in silence. He studied the rug. She stared at him.

He kept his eyes on the rug when he finally broke the silence. “Roger has made some arrangements for me to stay in a corporate apartment out on the Parkway. Renee, all I ask is that you let me see Denise whenever I can.” He looked up then and saw she was about to interrupt, but he rushed on, saying, “I know that you probably won’t want much to do with me after this. I never told you that I was a married man—that I’ve been married for years—and that I have two other children. No, no,” he said when she attempted to interrupt again. “Please, just let me finish. I couldn’t tell you about Tracy and the kids for fear that you’d leave me, Renee. I was afraid I’d never see Denise again. I didn’t think you would believe that we stayed married only for Olivia and Valerie’s sake. That’s a classic ‘other woman’ cliché, isn’t it?”

“Reggie—” Renee began, unable to stop crying.

Reginald raised his palm to stop her. “Please…just let me get this all out in the open. I have to get it out before I loose the nerve.
Please
.”

Nodding, Renee slumped backward in the loveseat.

Reginald’s eyes now glistened with tears of his own as he continued. “Tracy and I haven’t gotten along for years. To make a long story short, many years ago, she had an affair with a man she worked with, and I found out about it. My first instinct was to file for a divorce, but then my sister, Thelma, got me thinking about the impact on my kids and reminiscing about how
we
grew up with no father, what his absence meant to our lives. I didn’t want that for Olivia and Valerie, so I agreed that Tracy and I could continue raising them together, until they were of age.

“Now that Valerie’s almost eighteen, my freedom seemed to be approaching…But then this happened. Once the girls were grown up and the divorce was final, I planned to ask you to marry me. I was planning to move to Orlando permanently. I don’t know how I was gonna tell you about my children. I honestly hadn’t thought that far into the future. I just planned to play the cards as they were dealt and take it from there.

“And quite frankly, to be absolutely honest, I never planned to tell you that I had been married all these years. I hoped I would never have to confess that, not only because it would be hard for me, but also because I could only imagine how much it would hurt you.” He paused and glanced at her, assessing the damage. She had remained silent, but the crying hadn’t stopped.

Wiping his own face dry, Reggie took a deep breath. When he spoke again, his words were choked. “Renee, I couldn’t blame you for hating me now—no one could. You made a home here with a man you trusted, and now it’s broken.” Then, with passion, he added, “
I am so very sorry.”
He paused, letting the words penetrate the disturbed air; like a soothing balm.

“Please understand,” he whispered. “I never wanted to hurt you and Denise. That’s why I kept my marriage a secret all these years. I should have told you I was married from the very start, but I did not.” He held her gaze. “I cared about you so much that I risked everything to buy this house and stay here with you. Lord, if Tracy ever found out, she could take me to the cleaners when we get the divorce.”

They sat in another lengthy silence. Finally, he went on. “Now I have to spend every possible moment at Valerie’s side. So I had no choice but to tell you the truth. I won’t rest until they find a match for her. Until then, Tracy and I will continue making things seem as whole as possible, so there’s nothing to distract her from fighting this thing. Her oncologist says the mind can be a powerful healer…” He turned his head, appearing too choked up to speak any further.

Renee had begun hugging a fluffy throw pillow. She clutched it and squeezed her eyes shut. H
e was married? Actually
already married
?

He had a wife. Two kids. Girls. One was twenty-one and the other was seventeen and recently diagnosed with leukemia
…
Reginald is married.
Her
Reggie was married to another woman. With two daughters. All these years he’d been married…going to Miami to a wife and two kids for half the month. He’d been sleeping with—
“Do you have sex with her?” she asked suddenly.

After a brief stillness, Reginald rose from the armchair and knelt in front of her. He took her trembling hands, and rooted her to the loveseat, looking deeply into her eyes. “Tracy and I haven’t shared the same bed since the day I discovered she was sleeping with somebody else. Look at me, Renee—say you believe that.” His eyes commanded a reply. “Say it.”

She raised her wet lids, searching his face for any sign of dishonesty, but she found none. “I believe you,” she murmured.

He kissed her hands. “I’m sorry. I know that you may
never
be able to forgive me, but please believe that I
never
wanted to hurt you or the baby.
I wish to God that I didn’t have to do this now.
I hate hurting you like this, but I know this is the time to do the right thing.”

Exhaling deeply, he rose and went toward the staircase. “I’ll go pack a few things and get going. I don’t want to make this any more difficult for you than it has to be.” After a beat, he added, “You do know that I love you, Renee…I have always loved you.” Then he jogged up the stairs to pack up and walk out of her life.

I can’t let
him go!
thought Renee in anguish.
I can’t lose him.

But I could
wait.
That’s it! I’ll wait.
She could wait for his daughter’s recovery, and when he finally got divorced, he’d marry her!

I could forgive him being married.
He didn’t sleep with his wife; I’ve been the only one.

It certainly could not have been easy for him to tell her all this now, but his daughter’s life was in danger and, of course, that
had
to come first. Renee understood. This news, in and of itself, proved that Reginald Brooks had a conscience; he was a decent man. No…she could not let him go. She would not let him leave.
I’d be crazy if I let him walk out that door.

At that moment, Renee leapt from the sofa and ran up the stairs, drying her nose and face in her sleeve.

When she reached their bedroom, Reggie was taking a handful of silk ties from his marble bureau. Walking over to him, she said, “I can forgive you. Don’t leave. Don’t go anywhere. I forgive you.” Cupping his face, she perched on tiptoes and kissed him.

“I can’t believe this,” whispered Reginald. He brought his arms around her waist and held her close. Her body wracked with sobs. In that moment, he couldn’t hold back tears of his own. He’d succeeded.

He felt awful.

When they broke apart, he searched her eyes. “Are you sure? I mean, have you had enough time to think this through? You—you really forgive me?”

Renee smiled up at him. “Reggie, I love you and I know I
can
trust you.” She paused, then added, “You proved it tonight when you told me all this. I know this must’ve been one of the hardest things in the world for you to do. I think most men would’ve made up another lie or another game, anything to avoid telling the truth, but you told me
the truth
…And you were willing to leave me with my dignity. Most men would’ve kept me in the dark.

“I’ll wait for you, Reggie—as long as it takes. Right now, obviously your daughter’s health is the most important thing. Go be with her. You have my blessing. Denise and I will be here for you whenever you need us. We’ll be waiting for you to come back home.” She stretched her arms around his waist, holding tight. “We’ll wait for you forever. I love you, Reggie. How could I hate you for telling me the truth? I could never hate you.”

Reginald was relieved, but it was offset by a deep sense of guilt. This had played out far better than he anticipated. He never dreamed she’d come around so quickly. Without a doubt, Renee loved him. Tonight certainly proved it, and now more than ever, he needed to protect that love and ensure it never turned bitter.

Because his heart was with Tracy. These years with Renee had revealed that nothing could ever change that—not even Renee and Denise.

In light of tonight’s progress, Reginald was confident he would not have problems spending time with Denise in the future…Which brought another potential problem to mind. And he decided to settle it now. Putting some space between them, he said, “Would you agree that Denise never has to know about this? I mean, I don’t think it’s something she needs to find out.”

“No, I won’t tell her anything. Once your daughter gets well and we get married, Denise won’t even know anything was wrong.” Leaving his arms, Renee walked over to the large window that overlooked the grounds. “What about your kids? How will they handle you moving away from Miami?”

“Well, they’re big girls now. They’ll learn to accept it. I’m sure they won’t warm to it much at first, but they’ll eventually adjust. Besides,” he said, moving up behind her, “they do have their mother. Even when they find out about Denise, I’m sure with a little time, they’ll love her like I do. She is their sister, after all. Tracy won’t be too happy about it, though. She’ll be kicking herself for not finding out before the divorce.”

Renee continued gazing out across the moonlit lawn. Reginald was cuddling her from behind, burying his face in the crook of her neck.

Married,
she thought.
As he stands here holding me, he’s a married man
.
Married to a woman named Tracy.
The man she had been living with for six years!
Dear God, w
ould she ever
really
be able to digest it?

Turning her tear-soaked face into his chest, she whispered, “Reassure me, babe. Reassure me that you’ll be back and we’re going to get married.”

Reggie lifted her off her feet. He carried her to the waterbed and gently laid her down. Her eyes were still filled with tears. Slowly, he used his tongue to dry them as they fell. He began whispering words of love, of comfort, and most importantly, of reassurance. He promised her a future filled with happiness, though he knew it would never be with him.

He made love to her most of the night. Reassuring her. Comforting her. Begging her for forgiveness that she swore was already his.