The Great Powers Outage (14 page)

“Put your hand up, shell brain,” he threatened as he grabbed Lobster Boy's arm and forced it into the air.

It was pretty hard to miss the oven mitt that he was wearing over his claw. Cannonball was taken aback by it at first, too, but then, with a nasty sneer on his face, he yanked off the big poofy glove to reveal a perfectly ordinary, absolutely human . . . hand.

LI'L HERO'S HANDBOOK

PEOPLE

NAME:
Lobster Boy.
POWER:
Two fully manipulable pinchers in place of hands.
LIMITATIONS:
He'll never play the piano well.
CAREER:
A deathly fear of drawn butter rules out any future in the restaurant business.
CLASSIFICATION:
May just claw his way to the top yet.

CHAPTER FIFTEEN

. . . and Effects

My own questions about the origin of power were quickly overshadowed by the shock surrounding the transformation of Lobster Boy into . . . well . . . Hand Boy. But as Miss Marble hustled Lobster Boy off to the school nurse and sent the rest of us out for an early recess, my friends caught up to me.

“What were you thinking?” Tadpole asked as we followed our classmates from the room. “Are you determined to enrage every kid in our class with that where-do-powers-come-from bit?”

“For a while there I thought we were going to have to rescue you,” Stench added.

“Yeah,” agreed Plasma Girl, “what
was
all that stuff you were talking about?”

“My power is . . . well . . . my power,” Halogen Boy said in almost a whisper as he struggled to verbalize his feelings.

By this time, I realized how upset people could get over the mere suggestion that something so key to their identity might actually just be a side effect of something else.

“Hal,” I responded as we paused in the hallway, “you're special because of who you are. Your power is just one aspect out of millions that make you the unique person that you are.”

“But it's the most important—” Tadpole started to say before catching himself. He glanced at me guiltily.

“Look, no one knows better than I do what it's like having no power.”

“Lobster Boy is going to get a chance to find out,” Tadpole said in a way I think he meant to sound supportive but didn't.

“Yeah,” asked Stench, “what could have caused such an effect?”

“Exactly!” I said as I seized on what he had said. “Cause and effect. Nothing happens without
something
causing it to happen.”

“What do you mean?” Plasma Girl questioned me suspiciously.

“Take flowers for instance,” I replied. “No one would say they're not special. But they exist because the rain falls and the sun shines on them. Take either away, and you'd have no flowers.”

I could tell by the expressions on their faces that they were beginning to get my point.

“Or just look at the ocean's tides,” I said. “The waves look like they're just happening on their own, but they're really not. The gravity of the moon is tugging at the sea and causing the waves to wash back and forth. Without the moon, the ocean would sit practically still.”

“I think I see what you mean.” Plasma Girl nodded.

“Something causes everything! Your power is no different,” I added, coming back to my original point. “That doesn't mean that it's not incredibly special and important to who you are.”

“I guess that's true,” Halogen Boy agreed as he brightened considerably.

“And even without a power, you're pretty special, too,” Plasma Girl said as she placed a hand on my shoulder.

I blushed beet red, just as Tadpole and Stench's howling laughter echoed through the empty hallway.

“You
are
special, O Boy!” Tadpole mocked in a bad imitation of Plasma Girl as even Hal joined in the laughter.

“Shut up,” Plasma Girl said as she punched Tadpole in the arm.

That just set them laughing harder, and I slumped my shoulders in embarrassment.

“What is
wrong
with boys, anyway?” she huffed as she stalked ahead of us and pushed open the school's front door. My friends' laughter quickly faded as we noticed the rest of our classmates standing outside as still as statues. At first I thought Miss Marble had returned and used her power on them. Then I noticed what had them so transfixed.

“Oh, my gosh!” Plasma Girl exclaimed. “What is going on out here?!”

There were animals everywhere. There were grizzlies slashing our school bus's tires; snakes slithering up the flagpole; and, yes, even monkeys on the monkey bars. At first I thought they were fighting with each other. But then I realized they were actually locked in battle with—

“It's the League of Ultimate Goodness!” Tadpole blurted out in amazement.

It was true! The entire league was spread out across our school yard, engaged in a titanic struggle with hordes of zoo creatures.

“These animals ambushed us,” the Crimson Creampuff hollered as he came running straight for us. “Get to safety, kids!”

Apparently he was trying to follow his own advice. But before he could find a place to hide, a rhinoceros that was barreling after him hoisted him into the air and began spinning the spongy superhero on the tip of his horn like a giant basketball.

There were LUGs everywhere, but they seemed to be exceeding even
their
high standards of incompetence. Featherweight was drifting back and forth between two playful mountain lions, who were intrigued by his feathery, birdlike costume. Moleman was buried in the ground to his waist while a family of squirrels used their tails like slingshots to pelt him with nuts. And then I spotted Cap'n Blowhole, who was facing off against a polar bear.

“Arrrgghh, matey!” he gloated as a plume of water shot out of his head, “we'll be seein' if yer any match fer the cap'n.”

The polar bear answered the challenge by rearing up on his hind legs and letting out a freezing blast of breath. Cap'n Blowhole's water spout froze solid instantly.

“Sh-sh-sh-shiver me timbers,” he cried in alarm as the suddenly top-heavy weight of his ice plume tipped him over headfirst.

In the midst of the fracas, a figure descended from the sky, shouting advice to the bewildered group of heroes. It was the Amazing Indestructo.

As he cut the power on his jet pack, I assumed he was going to join the battle against the zoo animals. Instead, he moved over to relative safety near me and my classmates.

“Look, it's AI!” the Banshee screamed in a way that no one could miss, including AI himself.

“Sheeesh!” he said with a cringe as he covered his ears. “Can't you see I'm trying to oversee this important battle?”

“Maybe you should actually be out there helping for a change,” I said as I stepped up alongside him.

The Amazing Indestructo's eyes narrowed in annoyance as he turned and saw me.

“Oh, it's you.” He sniffed dismissively. “Maybe you should just step back with the rest of the children where you won't be in the way.”

“But the safest spot in any battle is usually right next to you,” I countered.

“Suit yourself,” he said as his face flushed red. “I have to concentrate on bringing this scourge of super-powered animals to an end.”

As he returned to doing nothing, I focused on the battle before us. Spaghetti Man was shooting strands of pasta from his fingertips in an attempt to immobilize the spindly legs of a giraffe. Of course the giraffe broke through them instantly and then proceeded to stretch its neck a good twenty feet, wrapping it around Spaghetti Man like a boa constrictor.

“Hellllp!!” he cried. “This-a giraffe . . . her neck is like-a linguini!”

LI'L HERO'S HANDBOOK

PEOPLE