The Grasp of Nighttide (11 page)

“Earthquake,” Alice mumbled as she shook. 

“Alice!” A voice crept inside her head. “Alice!” 

“Earthquake.” 

Something warm rested on her cheek and moved to her chin. “Alice, it’s me.” 

“Huh?” Her eyes opened enough to recognize Derek. The feeling of being in an earthquake changed and she smiled at the very handsome man. It was nice and at present very comforting to be with him in this magical light. 

“Oh thank god,” he pressed her head against his chest. 

Though his jacket was no warmer than ice, the closeness sent fiery butterflies all through her body. It felt wonderful. Not willing to ever let go of this man of her dreams, she pulled him closer. His heartbeat- what seemed more like a loud drum- raced in her ears. Alice closed her eyes again, and felt at peace for the next minute. 

 “You alright there?” It was a rough voice- not even close to that of Derek- but Alice ignored the difference. “Hmm.” 

Alice didn’t stir until Derek pulled away from the closeness. The light that flashed on her face- with Derek no longer shading her from it- was blinding. It was not certainly the bedroom- where she woke up on a usual day. No corner of the house received this amount of light. Her eyes adjusted a familiar view of wooden planks and a white fence came into picture. The porch! The hard wood beneath her screamed it was real. Alice flushed pink realizing this was no dream. 

“You look... okay.” Derek finished an eye scan. “Let me get you some water.” 

 As Derek moved further away, the warmth disappeared forcing Alice to hug herself. 

“I’m Carl,” A guy stepped in front of her and went on in his rough voice. “Uh... Derek must’ve mentioned me?” 

“Yes. Hi, I’m Alice.” She nodded at the heavy-built African American, unable to free her hands from her body. 

“Of course you are.” He smiled, pulling up his low waist jeans. 

“Your jacket,” Derek offered Alice before handing her the glass of water. “Good thing you are not frozen.” 

“So I guess I’ll get going.” Carl declared, stretching his arms. “What about the Vespa?” 

“The garage is open. Key is on the second table from the left, blue keychain.” 

Carl appeared far away, making Alice think there was something more he wanted to tell. “Do you want to say something?” 

“What?” Carl pretended that he didn’t know what she was talking about- at least she thought he was pretending. 

“What did you want to tell her?” Derek’s voice turned grave.  

“Nothing man,” he turned around. I’m just glad you are okay Alice. So I’ll get the Vespa and...” he turned back to face Derek. “Hey return my songs. I can’t put up with your Hindi ones any longer.” 

Derek laughed before throwing a flash drive at him. Carl did a salute and headed to the garage. Alice stared at him as he loaded the Vespa effortlessly on his gangster pickup truck- only taking a break once to pull up his jeans. He then once waved at Derek before taking off, not even looking at her. 

“What’s going on?” Derek asked a question to ponder upon. “Why were you slumped here, unconscious?” 

Alice tried to recall. 

“Last night,” he reminded. “What happened?” 

“It was extremely cold last night, not enough wood for the fire. I sat on the couch, pulled up my socks.” Alice stared at the striped socks which were still on her feet. “I don’t remember stepping out. But then again I was running away from something. I hid in the shadows of the garage.” She pointed to the massive structure. 

“What?” Derek interrupted in alarm. “Who what?” 

“It was a dream,” Alice shook her head. “Some crazy one. I don’t remember it too well. I might’ve stepped out for wood and slipped. That’s all.” 

“If you say so,” Derek held her hand and stared in concern until she met his eyes. “There was an accident last night and… And I don’t want you to go outside at night again.” 

“Okay,” Alice looked at the hand which Derek then sheepishly pulled away. 

“And there is one more question.” Derek stood up and went inside the house. “If you follow me.” 

Alice held the wood rail and slowly pulled herself up. Her back and feet were cramped up, and she was still cold all over. Leaning against the wood she got her jacket on and zipped it to her chin. After stretching her legs for a minute or two, she decided she could walk without toppling over. 

Derek stood in the living room examining a mark on the wall. He tried to look at it from different angles. As Alice closed in, the mark was clearly visible- An X, a red one. Not a mark to be exact- it was two slender hands leaving behind a trail on the wall.  

“Is this blood?” he touched it. 

He wasn’t wrong at that. Alice looked at her cold hands which had no trace of blood or injury. She felt through her body for any sign of pain but there was pretty much nothing more to feel for her except cold. 

“No, it is not.” Alice blurted like a small kid being accused of something.  “Actually I don’t know, it wasn’t there last evening.”

“Then?” He raised his eyebrows. “What is it?”  

Nothing is making sense to me either and I don’t want to talk about it. 
Alice wanted to scream. The last thing she wanted Derek to think is that she was a psycho. 
I must’ve done some crazy things last night- including settling on the porch.
 

“I don’t know. But whatever it is, the upside to it is that red looks good in here.” Alice looked around for a change in conversation. “You know... the curtains could blend in. A mix of yellow and red would get me that.” As if that wasn’t a stupid excuse already, Alice’s tongue decided to say some more. “This place looks mismatched. I could maybe match the wall to the curtains.” 

Derek started laughing hard. “All is fine the way it is,” he managed to say, and when he finally stopped he continued. “I don’t know about you but I can use some coffee.” 

***** 

Alice rinsed two cups covered in dust. They were unused like most of the crockery she owned. With a guest over, there was a reason to use them- and these ones in particular were perfect for a rich guest. At the side she chose one from her four different set of bowls, to go with the cut fruit. She was sure Derek would have no complaints with the hospitality. 

Derek 
she thought. 
Why do I feel like impressing him? Why does it matter when he is with me? Why did I feel so good when he hugged me? He is a good man but how can I even think of him that way?
 

“Damn!” Alice cursed dropping a spoonful of sugar in both the cups. “Out of milk now. This has to do… Hope he is not a health freak.” 

Alice’s mind went back to how he’d hugged her on the street- something she had thought long and hard about yesterday- and the moment they shared earlier. His body felt so strong and assuring- and Alice debated whether she wanted moments like that again. 

Surprisingly there was no complaint of excess sugar from Derek’s side. There was no comment whatsoever, leaving them to savor their coffee on the porch in silence. The sun provided some rays if not for heat. Then the empty cups filled the space between them but still the uncomfortable silence gave no hint of leaving.  

 “Let’s sit on the swings,” Alice suggested something off-off-the-wall, hoping for some kind of reaction and maybe a few words from Derek’s side. “You don’t think it can handle your weight, do you?” Alice teased as Derek studied the swing at a distance, without a word. 

But that was all to her efforts.  Suddenly he raced to the swings and sat on the middle one. Alice guessed he knew every woman would want to pick a seat beside him and she hated that he was right.

“What are you waiting for? Don’t you think it can handle your weight? These were supposed to have been made for children right? They are remarkably strong.” 

Alice couldn’t push away the emerging smile. Derek was great at being friendly and being friendly made her comfortable, and being comfortable made her...made her what? She searched for a word, but none came to mind. A temptation stirred up within her. She wanted her secret to come out before him. There was something to him that gained her trust, made her trust him more than she should- considering it had only been a few days since she’d known him. 

“Are you scared?” Derek teased. 

“I have every right to.”  

“What do you mean?” 

“Nothing.” 

“No seriously, tell me. I know you want to. I can see it in your eyes." Derek said, particularly aware that Alice was debating about whether or not things should come out. "What is it that’s bothering you? Why have you abandoned your family and come to live in this lone house?” 

“I didn’t abandon them!”  

“Then did they?” he sounded concerned. 

“I don’t know what to tell you.” 

“Okay. How about you tell me from the beginning.” He signaled her to occupy the swing to his left. “Everything you know.” 

 “I don’t have any memory of my past. I got amnesia.” Alice paused and moved over to the swing to give him time to take it in. “I don’t know who I am.” 

Derek remained silent as Alice recalled everything exactly how she remembered it. “I woke up one day on the bed here, alone. I was confused, I didn’t know anything. But I thought it had to be my house. I mean it had to be right? But there was no one.” Alice left out the part where she was shouting, her feet were trembling as she had no idea what had happened to her and that she had a headache and her tears were worsening it. “Then I found luggage, a letter from my mom. Suspicious that I was perhaps being fooled I walked around town. People were glaring at me, referring me to the girl who moved into Mary’s house. I tried thinking but it’s like my mind is an empty vault.” 

He kept his hand on her thigh. "I wasn't wrong in saying you are brave the other night. I can't imagine any such thing happening to me. I would've been in some corner." 

"I was... at the beginning," Alice stared at the tree at the distance. "I was stuck to the house. Drinking off old bottles of wine in the kitchen like medicine. Of course that didn't help. For a week I only thought about what had happened to me. I don't even remember if I ate at the time. But later I was sick and tired, I could hardly stand up. Then I decided to quit the miserable life I'd made for myself. One day Lance will come for me and I want to be alive and presentable on that day." 

"You are alive... but presentable?" Derek mused. "Presentable means healthy looking at the very least. And look at you. I still don't believe you eat anything." 

"You don't realize how miserable my life still is. It isn't easy." 

"You are making it miserable yourself! I know it isn't easy but take a new course in life Alice. Enjoy it. You will get your memory when you have to, torturing yourself will not help." 

"I need my life back. It is all that lets me move on with this life. The probability that my life will come back one day."

“Why don’t you get it yourself? Get help from the police for God’s sake.” Derek stood before her. “There will be people who recognize you. And why do you tell that fake story instead of the truth?” 

“Mom wrote to me that I’ll face a threat if I do,” Alice repeated the exact wordings from the letter. 

“What the...” He rubbed his temple in frustration before continuing “Mom?  Right. Mom. How can you be sure it was her? Someone could be playing tricks on you. And who is this Lance? Your imaginary boyfriend?”

“They are as real as ever,” Alice blurted. “Wait.” She said and fetched the letter from the house as a proof for her words. “I don’t want to come in the limelight, if there is a problem…” 

“What problem could you possibly get into?” Derek shot a look of disbelief, unfolding the letter.  

“I can be anyone for all I know. A prisoner, an illegal resident… or I don’t know… a thief or a terrorist...” 

“You can’t be any of those,” his voice oddly confident. 

“It’s possible. Believe me I want to surrender but I want to know myself before I get killed or arrested. Do you still think it’s a good idea to go to the police?” 

“No,” he said returning the letter. “It looks serious- the letter. Though I can’t be totally sure you are doing the right thing by not getting help, and blindly jumping to conclusions about your mom and
so called
boyfriend,” Alice opened her mouth to protest again but Derek was quick to continue. “I believe you." 

"So until I get back to my past, it is just me and my hope. Believe me that’s all I got.” 

 "Who says?" he smirked. "You got me.” He closed his eyes and kept his right hand on his heart like he was being sincere.

Alice felt relieved for the first time in months. Finally, there was a person who she could turn to if she needed help. “This should stay between us. Please.” 

“I promise.” He held Alice’s gaze. She was lost in the moment of warmth until he went on, “Only if you promise me one thing.” 

“What?” Alice's heart began to race. 

“If you find yourself to be bad ass, please don’t kill me.”