The Governess of Highland Hall (16 page)

Lifting her skirt to avoid the puddles, she hurried past the back courtyard and stepped under the arched entrance to the garden. She lifted her gaze, and her steps stalled.

Cold, rainy weather had kept her inside for three days, and she had no idea a frost had crept in and stolen all the vibrant flowers, leaving only wilted, brown remains. Their branches lay on the ground now, shriveled and lifeless.

She turned away, her heart aching, and looked toward the greenhouse. Raindrops splashed at her feet and drummed on the glass roof and windows. She ducked her head and hurried on.

Pushing open the greenhouse door, she slipped inside. No one was about, but roses still bloomed in sturdy pots on the pebble-covered shelves. She inhaled slowly, savoring their beautiful scent, but it couldn’t banish Katherine’s painful words from her mind … because they were true.

She would never know what it was like to fall in love and marry or have children and grow old with a husband and family who loved her.

Sagging against the greenhouse wall, she finally let her tears fall, releasing all the hurts and disappointments she had kept locked away for so long.

“Miss Ramsey?”

Sarah gasped and turned.

Mr. Dalton stood in the aisle, a pot of geraniums in his hands. He searched her face, his concern clear.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t realize you were working in here.” She bit her lip and turned to leave.

“Please, there’s no need to go.” He reached for her arm. “You’re safe here.”

His gentle words and touch undid her. She lifted a trembling hand to her mouth as another round of tears overflowed.

“Here you go.” He took a neatly folded handkerchief from his pocket and handed it to her, then waited while she wiped her eyes. “When you’re ready, I hope you’ll tell me what’s upset you.”

She released a shaky breath and refolded the handkerchief. “It’s nothing, really. I’m afraid I’m just feeling sorry for myself.”

Frowning, he set the pot aside. “Why don’t you tell me, and I’ll be the judge of that.” Mr. Dalton had always been kind and caring, but his confident tone and protective manner surprised her. Perhaps she could confide in him.

She lifted her gaze to meet his. “My cousin Katherine misunderstood something I said, and I’m afraid I hurt her feelings.” She relayed what had happened in the great hall, stopping short of sharing Katherine’s final remarks.

He cocked his head. “And that’s what made you cry?”

She lowered her head, her face warming. “Well, that’s not all of it.”

“You’ve come this far—you may as well tell me the rest.”

She slowly lifted her head. “She said I knew nothing about the season, courtship, or marriage … and I probably never would … because of my deformity.”

His face darkened, and he huffed. “I know Miss Katherine has a quick temper, but I had no idea she could be so unkind.”

“It’s been difficult for her to lose her father, then see my brother inherit Highland.”

“Still, that’s no excuse for her to lash out at you.”

“I suppose.” She slipped her withered hand into the folds of her skirt. “But she’s right. My parents sheltered me and kept me out of society. I have few acquaintances outside our family, and sometimes I feel as though life has passed me by.” The pain went much deeper, but that was all she had the courage to say.

“Maybe your parents did limit your friendships, but the Lord is sovereign over all that happens. He has a plan and purpose for each of us that no one can alter.”

Pain flashed through her, and she lifted her shriveled hand. “You think He planned this for me?”

His expression remained calm and thoughtful. “I know He lovingly designs each of us, and He allows our challenges and limitations, though they may seem unfair. He also gives each of us gifts and talents as He chooses. And He uses them all—the limitations and the talents—for our good and the good of others … if we allow Him to.”

She looked at her withered hand, then slowly shook her head. “I’m sorry, Mr. Dalton, but I don’t see what good has come out of this for me.”

He studied her for a moment, not seeming the least bit ruffled by her disagreement. “I can think of three blessings that have come from it, and I’m sure there are others.”

“Three blessings? What would they be?”

“Well, first, though you come from an aristocratic family, facing these
challenges has given you a humble heart. And because of that, you treat others with kindness and respect, and you’re not ashamed to share a confidence with a gardener.”

The tension in her shoulders began to fade. “Yes, I suppose that’s true.”

“You’re also compassionate and understanding toward others, especially those who’ve been hurt. You see the pain they carry, and you want to help them.”

She gave a slight nod. “I know life can be difficult, and that gives me sympathy for those who suffer.” Her heart warmed, and she sent Mr. Dalton a tremulous smile. “And what is the third blessing?”

His deep brown eyes glowed. “If you’d done the season when you were eighteen, I’m sure you would’ve received a proposal and married soon after. If that had happened, you wouldn’t have come to Highland, and I never would’ve met you.” His gaze faltered for a moment, then he looked into her eyes again. “That would have been a terrible loss to me.”

She stilled. Was he saying …? Did he mean he cared for her, not just as a friend, but as a man loves a woman?

He watched her a second more, then his countenance fell. “I’m sorry, miss. I should not have spoken to you—”

“No, it’s very sweet of you, really. It’s just that—”

“You’ve no wish to hear anything like that from a gardener.”

“Oh no, that’s not what I was going to say.” She bit her lip and glanced over her shoulder toward the house. “I’m afraid my brother would be upset if he knew you were speaking to me like this.”

“I respect Sir William as master of Highland, but it’s your opinion that matters more to me.”

Sarah’s heart pounded so hard she could barely breathe. Should she encourage him and risk displeasing William? Would she be inviting more disapproval and rejection if she did? But if she didn’t encourage Mr. Dalton, would she always regret that she hadn’t had the courage to follow her heart?

She swallowed and looked up. “I’m honored by what you’ve said.”

“So you’ve no objection to me making my feelings plain?”

She lowered her head and smiled. “No. I have no objection.”

He released a deep breath. “Thank the good Lord above.” Then he reached for her crippled hand, lifted it to his lips, and kissed her cool, withered fingers.

Her throat tightened, and she blinked back happy tears.

“Perhaps I could call on you this evening.”

She froze as the reality of her situation set in. “I … I must speak to my brother first.”

Mr. Dalton tightened his hold on her hand. “But shouldn’t I be the one to speak to him?”

Her heart warmed, quieting her fears for the moment. “Yes, but the time must be right.”

“You’ll let me know when I should come?”

She nodded. “I’ll send a note or meet you here tomorrow afternoon.”

“I’ll be waiting.” He turned to the nearest rosebush and clipped a long-stemmed pink rose. “Take this with you as a reminder of what we’ve said to each other today.” He gently ran his hand over hers as she took the rose.

A delightful shiver traveled up her arm. She slipped her hand away. With a tremulous smile, she said good-bye and hurried back to the house.

TEN

Julia knocked on Sarah’s bedroom door, but there was no answer. She turned and scanned the hallway. Where could she be? She had searched the house and asked Mrs. Emmitt and Mr. Lawrence, but no one had seen Sarah since she’d run out of the great hall.

Julia clenched her hands, recalling the way Katherine had lashed out at Sarah. If that young woman didn’t have a change of heart very soon, Julia would have to speak to Sir William. Perhaps he could exert some influence over his willful young cousin.

The sound of approaching footsteps caught her attention, and she turned.

Sarah climbed the stairs carrying a beautiful pink rose.

Julia hurried to meet her. “Are you all right?”

She looked up at Julia. “Yes, I’m … fine.”

“Truly?” Julia searched Sarah’s face, surprised by her calm expression. “I’m so sorry about what Katherine said.”

“It’s all right.”

“Well, if she doesn’t make amends soon, I’ll speak to Sir William.”

Sarah’s eyes widened. “Oh no, please, I don’t want to cause anymore strife.”

“But she shouldn’t be allowed to speak to you in such a disrespectful way. Sir William wouldn’t approve, and if I allow it to go unchallenged, then I am at fault as well.”

“But she’s young and upset by all the changes we’ve brought to Highland. We mustn’t be too hard on her.”

“That’s very kind of you, but Katherine must learn to control her temper
and give others the benefit of the doubt. Can you imagine what would happen if she had that kind of outburst in London?”

Sarah sighed. “I suppose you’re right. I know it’s important to resolve our differences, but must we involve William?”

Julia searched Sarah’s face. Did compassion prompt her request, or was she simply too timid to confront her strong-willed cousin? “I suppose I could speak to her again after she has had time to settle down.”

Sarah’s expression warmed. “Yes. I think that’s best.”

But doubts swirled through Julia’s mind. Katherine barely tolerated sitting through their daily lessons. How could Julia persuade her to listen to correction about her faults without involving William? And would that really be enough to restore Katherine and Sarah’s relationship?

“I’m sure it will all be fine. And don’t worry about me. I’ve had a nice walk in the garden and a good talk with Mr. Dalton.” She smiled, then she lowered her gaze to the rose in her hand.

Julia studied Sarah, questions rising in her heart.

Sarah sniffed the rose and glanced at Julia. “What is it?”

“I’m sorry. I’m just surprised you’ve chosen the head gardener as your confidant.”

Sarah glanced down the hallway. Leaning closer, she whispered, “May we speak in private?”

Julia nodded, then followed Sarah into her bedroom and closed the door.

Sarah placed the rose on the dressing table and turned to Julia. “I told Mr. Dalton what happened with Katherine, and he was such a comfort. He challenged my thinking about my hand, but he was also very kind and fiercely protective. He said … he has feelings for me.”

Julia blinked. “Really?”

Sarah nodded. “He wants to call on me properly.”

Julia hesitated, uncertain if she should encourage her.

Sarah bit her lip. “Oh, say something, Julia! Do you think I would be foolish to allow it?”

“Not if you’re certain he has good character and honorable intentions.”

“I believe he does, but we’ve only known each other a short time.”

“Perhaps you should find out more about him before you move ahead.”

“How would I do that?”

Julia’s mind spun, then she lifted her gaze to meet Sarah’s. “I’ve often seen Mr. Dalton at church on Sunday. Perhaps Reverend Langford could tell you more about him.”

“But if I speak to Reverend Langford, he’ll want to know why I’m asking, and I’d have to tell him the truth. I couldn’t lie to a minister.”

“No, of course not.”

Sarah’s eyes lit up. “I know. You could ask him.”

Julia blinked. “Me?”

“Yes, you’re very discreet. And if Reverend Langford asks why you’re inquiring, you can just say a friend wants to know.”

Julia hesitated, trying to think through Sarah’s request. “I’m not sure that’s wise. He might not give me the information unless I told him the real reason.”

“Oh, please, you mustn’t do that. I don’t want to hurt Mr. Dalton’s reputation or cause gossip. Promise me it will remain a private matter between us.”

“What about your brother? Surely he should be the one to make inquiries about Mr. Dalton and help you decide if he is a worthy suitor.”

“I’ll speak to him about it as soon as you bring me a good report from Reverend Langford.”

Julia bit her lip. Could she leave and go into the village without Sir William’s knowledge or permission? What would he think of Sarah’s request?

Sarah reached for her hand. “Please, Julia. Will you do this for me? I have no one else I can trust.” The longing in Sarah’s eyes tugged at Julia’s heart.

“All right. Ann is watching the children, and Katherine and Penelope are in no mood for lessons. Nor am I.”

“Oh, thank you!” Sarah hugged Julia. “I’m so grateful.”

“Let’s wait until you hear what the reverend has to say before you get too excited.”

Sarah nodded, but her eyes sparkled with a joyful light. “I’m sure it will be a good report.”

Julia checked on Ann and the children, then put on her hat and coat and headed down the backstairs. The scent of roasting chicken floated in the air as she passed the kitchen. Chef Lagarde’s commands to his helpers almost drowned out the clatter of dishes being washed in the sink.

Julia hurried down the hall. Things were always humming downstairs at Highland. It was quite a contrast to the cultured and peaceful atmosphere upstairs.