The Good Sister (22 page)

Every human body has its physical limits, and Noah could not drive another mile. He was zoned out so far, he feared he might crash. Almost twenty-four hours since he picked up Lindsey had elapsed before he finally swung into a roadside motel. It seemed clean enough, and was located just off the interstate.

Spotting a drive-through, he got a limp, greasy meal that smelled mouth-watering to him. After six candy bars and three salty bags of chips later, the aroma was like Thanksgiving dinner.  He ordered Lindsey some also, but she didn’t even flinch at his inquiry or the scent of hot food. She wasn’t kidding when she said she wasn’t hungry. Water was all she ingested.

He tapped her shoulder, almost afraid to touch her. She finally mumbled and lifted up her head. “We’re at a motel now. We have to stop for the night. Would you prefer your own room? Or, do you want to share one?”

“Share.”

He pulled his hand back, unsure she’d agree to such accommodations. Okay. He quickly checked them in with the desk clerk and grabbed their meager luggage before bringing it in. Lindsey finally, after several long minutes, appeared in the doorway, keeping her head down.

“I don’t feel very well. I’ve been on stuff since… things happened. So I’m kind of out of it.”

His heart stopped and his hands grew clammy.
Jesus.
What could he say to that? “Can I do anything?” He raised his hands, palms up, as if pleading for guidance.

She shrugged noncommittally, but lifted her eyes to his. He found it almost painful to look at her face. He had to gulp down his repulsion and sorrow. Elliot had obviously choked her. Her neck was black and blue. Elliot put his brutal paws on her slender, white, vulnerable throat and squeezed. Noah’s stomach nearly heaved at the image in his mind. Who could do such a thing? How could anyone do such a thing to another human being? Not to mention, his own wife?

“Why were you there? Why were you parked near my house?”

“I intended to do something.”

Her head tilted. “What? What did you intend to do?”

He shrugged, looking deflated on the bed, with his legs parted as he stared at the ratty, green carpet. “I don’t know. I knew I should do something. I just didn’t know what. I felt closer to you there, even though it wasn’t doing you a damn bit of good. I felt like maybe, eventually, I could think of something. It was stupid.
I was useless.”

“No. Not stupid. That’s probably the nicest thing I’ve ever heard anyone say. Probably the nicest intention for anyone to have.”

He scoffed. “I am nothing like your father, or Will, who I’m sure would have accomplished your rescue in no time.”

“No. But look at
the man who actually drove me down the street, with my house in the rearview mirror. So yeah. You did something.” She let out a long sigh. “I’m tired now. I need to sleep.”

“Okay. I’ll go for a walk. Take all the time you need. I’ll try not to disturb you.”

She nodded as he got up and stepped toward the door. “Thank you, Noah. For doing something. But no one can know about my father. It would destroy Jessie. And then, all this would be for nothing.”

“All for nothing?”

“Well, yeah, he threatened to tell Jessie he was still alive. That’s what made me finally get up and leave.”

“It’s pretty bad, Jessie.”

Jessie’s breath stalled over the phone line. When she spoke again, tears strangled her voice. “What did he do to her?”

“First of all, she admitted to being ‘on something’ ever since this happened, and her neck is covered in bruises. The bastard choked her. Her forehead has a deep gash and a huge knot. Her face is all swollen. I haven’t seen anymore of her, and there is no chance she might share what happened. She didn’t speak for nearly twenty-three hours. I have no details.”

“How did you get her to leave? Last time I spoke to her, she was so catatonic, she didn’t seem to even register I’d given birth to the baby.”

“I just told her you did it, so she could she. I put her in my car and drove. I drove as far as I could until I stopped from exhaustion.”

“Where are you going?”

“She won’t tell me.”

“What do you mean she won’t tell you? She has an actual place in mind? What state?”

“She won’t say. She just said I should drive to the west coast.”

Jessie was silent for a long moment, then she softly chuckled. “She’s brilliant. Do exactly as she says. She’s right. The old Lindsey might still be in there somewhere.”

“Jessie, you might not get to see the old Lindsey ever again.”

Her breath intake was sharp. “No. But maybe someday, I can see a new one.”

He entered the motel room to find Lindsey in the far bed with the covers tightly over her. She had already shut the drapes and turned the lights off. Her breathing sounded regular. Noah picked up his lukewarm fast food and ate it alone, while wondering what to do next.

More driving. Lindsey didn’t talk. She spoke in a monotone whenever he asked her a question. She didn’t voice any opinions as to where or how often they stopped. He might as well have been driving alone. It seemed endless. And hellish. He had so many questions, and so much sympathy for her. He yearned to express that so much his throat was nearly burning to let the words out. But no, she made it very clear to him that his words, his sympathy, his questions, and his opinions were not welcome. So, the least he could do was respect her wishes. That was the very minimum and the least, so that’s what he did for her.  

Every once in a while, she gave him directions on where to go. It
went beyond surreal in Noah’s mind that he was driving thousands of miles without a damned idea of the ultimate destination. Why couldn’t she just say? Was she worried he’d tell someone?

He talked to his sister, Penny, several times. She kept calling, becoming seriously concerned about what was going on and why he refused to say. He had been gone nearly ten days now, and Penny was dying with curiosity to find out why.

Lindsey’s gaze stayed on him while he tried to evade his sister’s questions. Lindsey didn’t comment when he hung up, or say much in general.

Finally, after five days of driving eight to ten hours a day, they arrived at the location Lindsey selected. Noah still had no idea where they were or why they were there. Who could possibly be here? And Lindsey probably uttered no more than twenty words a day to him. She had nothing to say and never
replied to anything, not even his mundane, awkward statements  about the various things they passed. She couldn’t care less. She barely shuffled on her feet from the motel they were staying in, to the car, and then into the next motel. If she ate five hundred calories a day, it would have surprised Noah. She drank only water and slept. She stared out the windshield, looking straight ahead with dull, dead eyes and seemed clinically catatonic.

The sign off the interstate read “Welcome to Calliston.” It was a small, barely noticed town in northern California, lying within a hundred miles of the Oregon border. The area was a forest of trees and distant mountains, but absolutely breathtaking. The town was so pretty and quaint, it felt like a greeting card. The main street was brightly decorated with matching street lamps and quaint shops. All had similar storefronts and wide, deep sidewalks for people to wander around on. The area seemed well maintained and rather prosperous.

Lindsey told him to park in front of a six-story, light green condominium building. It had an elevator in the interior, which they took before stopping at a door that said “5B.” Lindsey knocked tentatively and the door finally opened.

“Lindsey?” she was immediately embraced with a hug. “Oh my God! You made it! Thank God. I’ve been stewing here for days. Hours. Minutes. I couldn’t stand it. Come in.”

“Hello
, Gretchen.”

Gretchen released her and her eyes roved over Lindsey’s face before she winced.

“Jessie called you?”

“Yes. Why didn’t you?”

“Yes, good question. Why didn’t we? And where are we?” Noah interjected.

Lindsey turned, a smile hovering on her face. Noah was standing behind her, shifting his feet awkwardly. His shoulders slouched and his hands were in his pockets. His jeans seemed a little too long, and appeared baggy over his slender butt. He was tall and thin, but had wide shoulders and long arms and legs. His black hair fell over his forehead in such boyish appeal, Lindsey often had to resist the urge to tug it back. Well, back when touching another person seemed remotely appealing. His eyes were warily watching her and he treated her with the utmost respect. He never touched her or crowded her. He didn’t press her either. He didn’t even so much as stop without first consulting her. There was no better man in the entire world than Noah Clark. He tolerated her silence for days, without a word regarding what he wanted or thought. She could tell he often wanted to ask, but refrained.

He didn’t insist on finding out what he longed to know. He was the most decent human being alive. Lindsey had no words to begin to describe her ordeal to Noah. How could she explain why she looked like this? How she came to be the person he now saw? The shame of him knowing the truth rendered her mute. Turning away, she closed her eyes and wished she could pretend this was not happening.

God! Poor Noah. He dealt with everything like a pro, without any idea what she was doing, or not doing, and why she was acting so strangely.

Gretchen glanced over Lindsey’s shoulder. “Hi, I’m Gretchen Hendricks.”

Noah nodded. “Okay, as in Will Hendricks? Are you his sister?”

“No, his ex-wife.”

Noah dropped his gaze. “Oh, I didn’t know he had one. Uh, hi, I’m Noah Clark.”

She smiled. “I know who you are. You were Jessie’s boyfriend when Will disappeared.”

Noah cleared his throat. “No. Not so much her boyfriend as… well, just a friend. I most certainly did not date her.”

Gretchen grinned. “Worried about Will?”

“Well, no reason to make it sound like something it never was. Jessie works for me now.”

“And you were the one who helped Lindsey. Come in, both of you.”

They entered a narrow hallway that led to a large room, brightly lit with sun. It was a living room that stretched into the kitchen and dining room. Sunlight flooded the white carpet through the French doors, and multiple windows. It had tall, vaulted ceilings and white walls with brightly patterned furniture and paintings. It was warm, neat and very appealing to Lindsey.

She stopped walking right in middle of the room. “Can I stay here?”

Gretchen turned towards her and leaned on the granite counter beside her. “Yes. Of course, you can. You always knew that though.”

Noah’s head bobbed between them. He stood slightly back, feeling awkward as evidenced by his shuffling feet before slouching into the wall.

“I didn’t call first because I didn’t want to explain it over the phone.”

“Have you called your sister? She’s dying to hear from you. She can’t stand it. She needs to talk to you. But I understand you don’t want to talk to her?”

“I can’t… yet. Either of you could update her.”

“Lindsey…”

“Please, Gretchen. Not yet. Not today. Just… It’s been a really long, bad few days.”
More like years.
“And I’d like to lie down.”

Gretchen’s eye twitched. “Okay, okay, Lindsey. We’ll talk to Jessie. If you need to rest, please do that.”

Lindsey hesitated, and folded her arms over her chest. “Look, Gretchen, this could be dangerous. I mean, having me here. I have no idea if Elliot can actually track me down, but I know he will try. So maybe…”

Gretchen waved her hand around dismissively. “I would never turn you away. And so what? Let him find you! I was married to Will Hendricks at one time, remember? I know a thing or two about defending myself. And you.”

“Will taught you?”

She smiled slowly. “Yes, he showed me how to use the gun I own.”

“I know how to defend myself from strangers too.”

A thick silence followed her declaration and Noah moved away from the wall as Gretchen stepped forward and took both of Lindsey’s hands in hers. “That’s bullshit. What you’re doing right now? Blaming yourself? Taking all the responsibility? That’s bullshit. ”

Noah snorted quietly behind her. “She’s right, Lindsey. Listen to her.”

She didn’t know. Maybe they were both right. Maybe she was just the victim. Or maybe she let it happen to her. Maybe she deserved it for not leaving him sooner. Her punishment for not telling. For keeping silent. For repeatedly allowing Elliot access to her, and never once, lifting an arm, a hand, a leg, not even a finger to defend herself. Why didn’t she? She couldn’t answer that.

The first time Elliot hit her, the shock of it had her paralyzed. It was like being attacked by a stranger, and the sheer surprise of it kept her from reacting. Then, it was done. She got hit. Bruised. Hurt.
By her husband
. The betrayal ripped her heart in half; but she always thought, yes, stupidly and naively, that maybe it would eventually end. But it didn’t. And it was humiliating. So humiliating, she couldn’t find words to express how it made her feel. Here she was, a well dressed, upper class, former Army officer, with resources and friends, and no kids.
There were no kids.
And still, she allowed herself to be regularly beaten and attacked by her husband.

“I can stay with you then?”

“Forever, if you’d like.” Gretchen smiled and her eyes glowed with soft, caring concern. Gretchen and Lindsey became close friends while helping Jessie all those years ago. They spent hours on end talking together. First, it centered on Jessie; but eventually, they got around to discussing things far beyond that. They discussed their childhoods, jobs, friends as well as more mundane subjects, like movies and books. Lindsey liked Gretchen more than any other female she knew in her adult life. She couldn’t, however, let Gretchen past the façade because she could never let anyone in. That was the line for her that no one crossed. That was the line that Elliot so viciously exploited. He relied on her not telling anyone the truth.

She couldn’t remember at any time, ever having a conversation with Elliot about Gretchen Hendricks. She was sure she never mentioned her, even as a casual friend, much less someone who helped Jessie way back when. Lindsey kept in contact with Gretchen in a distant, almost distracted way. They exchanged Christmas cards and used to call each other often. But that diminished over the last year or two until she just quit responding to Gretchen’s cards or calls. Of course, the obvious reason was that it was easier to hide her secret by not having anyone close to her. So despite her failure to continue corresponding with Gretchen
for a very long time, Lindsey somehow always knew, Gretchen was the type of person who didn’t care how much time had passed. She would accept Lindsey back into her life within the first second of their reunion. Lindsey knew they had that kind of connection from the very start. Although great gaps of time separated their visits, they always started right up again, as if it had only been a day, not months, or later on, years. Gretchen was truly one of the smartest, kindest, least judgmental women Lindsey ever knew. She was also, but in a way that Lindsey never truly believed could happen, Lindsey’s back-up plan. Maybe that was why she made sure to specifically never discuss or mention Gretchen Hendricks’ existence to Elliot. She always harbored the crazy fantasy that if she could ever manage to get away from him, she would flee to Gretchen.

She never really thought she’d actually do it, but here she was.

Lindsey’s face broke into a stiff smile. It felt odd to smile again. It felt odd to stand in the sunlit room discussing Elliot. She never talked about Elliot to others. The sheer peculiarity of it stabbed her heart with an unreasonable fear. Her initial reaction was thinking how much he’d hate what she did. He’d just hate her doing that. How else would he react? “I hope it’s just a few days.”

She started to turn away, but Gretchen’s statement stopped her. “A few days? No! A few days won’t do anything for you. You will stay as long as it takes. You knew that all along. You must realize I know about such things. And I do this for living. I help people, Lindsey. And if anyone needs help, it’s you right now.”

“I didn’t come for you to counsel me. I came because Elliot doesn’t know about you.”

“I know why you came. That doesn’t mean I can’t help you.”

“You mean try. You will be trying to help me.”

She nodded slowly. “Okay, then trying to help you.”

Lindsey passed Noah with a quick glance. “You don’t have to stay.”

He took in a startled breath. “You’re kidding, I hope? I should just leave?”

Gretchen stepped forward. “No, no, of course not, Noah. You can stay in my office. Please. You’re more than welcome.”

Lindsey raised her eyebrows as she pressed her lips together. “I appreciate you getting me here.”

Putting his hand out, he used one finger to touch her arm in a whisper-soft contact. “Of course.”

She tucked her arm closer to her side and he dropped his hand. She nodded and turned to leave the room. The fog was lifting from her brain and the bewildering effect of the pills had long left her system. She missed them, and wanted them now. But no one here would give them to her. She knew that. Gretchen and Noah were far too noble and good to indulge in such things. But holy crap, how she longed for the oblivion again and not having to think anymore. The absence of sensations. She found the spare room and fell onto the bed. Pulling up her legs to tuck into her chest, she didn’t even bother to take off her coat or slide the covers back on the bed.