The Goddess Test Boxed Set: Goddess Interrupted\The Goddess Inheritance\The Goddess Legacy (95 page)

“Don't.” I whirled around to face her, brandishing my comb like
a sword. “I'm not with Hades right now. I haven't been
with
him since we got married, and right now, I can do whatever I
want. I'm
supposed
to do whatever makes me
happy.”

“Even if it destroys him?” she said, and I shook my head.

“You don't get it, Mother. He made this choice, and it isn't my
fault he loves me, all right? It isn't my fault we can't be happy together. I've
tried, we've both tried, but it isn't working.”

She sat down on the edge of the bed, and I pulled the comb
angrily through my hair. Leave it to her to ruin an otherwise perfect night. “Do
you even intend to go back?” she said quietly.

“Of course,” I snapped. “I won't abandon him, but I'm not going
to waste this chance, either. I finally get to be
happy,
Mother. Why aren't you okay with that? Because it isn't the happy ending
you wanted for me?”

“Because it isn't a happy ending at all,” she said, as gentle
as ever. “And as long as you continue down this path, you'll never find it.”

“And you think I will with Hades?”

“Yes. Otherwise I would have never asked you to marry him.”

“You didn't ask me to marry him. You
told
me. And you were wrong, Mother—I'm sorry, I know it must break
your heart, but you and Zeus were wrong. We aren't happy. I'm not happy, and the
more you try to pretend, the more it's going to hurt all of us. So just let it
go, all right?”

I stormed into the cooking area, starting the fire with a wave
of my hand. I wasn't hungry, and we didn't need to eat, but the ritual of
cooking calmed me, and I hadn't had the chance in a very long time. This wasn't
how things were supposed to go. Mother was supposed to understand, even if she
didn't like it. That's what she always did: she understood. And there was
nothing wrong with me and Hermes. He made me happy, and if she was so worried
about it hurting Hades, then he would never have to know. I certainly had no
intention of telling him.

“Persephone.” She set her hand on my shoulder, and I shrugged
it off. “We all make mistakes—”

“This isn't a mistake.”

“Rarely does a mistake feel like one at the time,” she said.
“All I'm asking is that you don't jump headfirst into something you can't stop.
And by hurting Hades—”

“I already hurt him. Every second I'm down there, miserable and
alone and hating it, I hurt him. At least this way I can be happy, and we both
get what we want.”

“And how does he get what he wants?” said Mother.

“By me not being so miserable, even if it's just for a while.”
I turned to face her. “Please, Mother. Just give me this. Let me be happy.”

Her eyes locked on mine for the space of several heartbeats,
and at last she sighed. “I cannot condone it, but I will not forbid it, either.
If you insist on letting this happen, then I must also insist that when you
return to the Underworld, you act as you should. You rule beside Hades without
complaint, and you let this happiness bleed into your time down there, as well.
Can you do that?”

I nodded. If it meant I could spend the summer with Hermes,
then I would. “Thank you.”

She pressed her lips to my forehead. “I want you to be happy,
too, my darling, but not at the expense of others. Just be careful. You're
playing a dangerous game.”

“I know.” I let her hug me, resting my head on her shoulder as
she ran her fingers through my hair. “But he makes me happy.”

She sighed. “Then for your sake, I hope that is enough for us
all.”

* * *

That summer was the best of my life. Mother and I spent
every day together, sometimes with Hermes, sometimes without; but he and I spent
every night together, as well. We explored the forest, swam in the cool lakes,
and never once did I feel an ounce of guilt about betraying Hades. How could I,
when he was the one who wanted me to be happy?

But it couldn't last forever, and finally the autumnal equinox
arrived. Hermes and I both agreed we would halt our affair while I was with
Hades, though of course I would see him often in the Underworld as a friend. The
prospect of getting to spend time with Hermes no matter what realm I was in made
giving up the surface a little easier to bear.

Mother led me to the clearing where Hades had dropped me off
the spring before, and he was there waiting for us, his hair shining in the
morning light. He really was beautiful, in a way Hermes would never be, but
Mother had been wrong. My time away hadn't made me any fonder of him, and the
moment our eyes met, that unyielding bitterness returned. There was something
new on my side now though—contentment, and not the sort I had to fake. We might
never be able to break down the wall between us, but at least we could both
accept our fate.

“Persephone,” he said quietly, offering me his arm. I kissed
Mother goodbye and took it. “You look well.”

“I feel well,” I said, and I did. Even the dark power that
surrounded him couldn't spoil my good mood. I felt lighter somehow, and Hades
must have sensed it, because he gave me a small smile.

“I am glad.”

The trip into the Underworld wasn't so bad this time, and the
rock that surrounded us didn't feel quite so heavy now that I knew it wasn't
permanent. Half a year, that was it; then I would be free to be with Hermes
again. I could do that.

I expected the usual round of duties when we returned to his
palace, but instead he stopped me in the antechamber that led into the throne
room. For a moment he said nothing as he stared at the floor, his face stony. I
frowned. What was going on?

“You are happy, yes?” he said. “With…”

My entire body went cold. Hermes. He knew. Had Hades been
spying on me?

No, he wouldn't. He may have been many things, but a sneak
wasn't one of them. Mother had told him—she must have. Why? To hurt him? To make
me feel guilty? To make sure I couldn't play him like a fool?

But I didn't think of him as a fool, and neither did Hermes.
I'd kept this a secret not to hurt him, but to make sure I didn't. And Mother
had to go and ruin it all.

I swallowed, the words stuck in my throat. “Yes,” I finally
said. “I'm happy. And—that's just the summer, all right? Down here, you and I
are…whatever we are. These seasons are yours.”

He nodded, not quite meeting my eye. “Very well. So long as you
are happy, that was all I wanted.”

The pain behind his words coiled around my insides until it
nearly suffocated me. Why had Mother done this? She must've known how much it
would hurt him. “I'm sorry Mother told you,” I said quietly. “I never meant for
you to find out. I knew it would hurt you, and we weren't going to continue it
down here, and—”

He shook his head. “Your mother did not tell me.”

I blinked. “Then who?” Who else knew?

Hades was silent, and he took my arm as the doors into the
throne room opened. Rows of the dead turned to watch us, and at the end of the
aisle, standing beside Hades's throne, was Hermes.

Of course. He was the only other person who knew. Why had he
told? Absolution? To ease his guilt?

Whatever it was, I glared at him as Hades and I reached our
thrones.
Did you really have to tell?

Yes.
His voice whispered through
me, for my mind only.
I don't want us to be a secret, not
from Hades.

You hurt him. Badly.

We both did.

I sat down in my throne, tearing my eyes away from him and
focusing instead on the faces of the dead awaiting judgment. The first one moved
before us, her head bowed as Hades addressed her, but I was deaf to his words.
I wish you hadn't.

I'm sorry. I respect him too much to go
behind his back like that.

Yet you don't respect him enough to keep
your hands off his wife in the first place?

You were free to do whatever you wanted
then. But I won't keep it a secret from him, either. He deserves better than
that.

He did, and I hated myself for agreeing.
He knows we aren't together while I'm down here?

Yes.

And he's all right with that?

As all right as anyone could be. He loves
you. He wants to see you happy as much as I do.

You have a strange way of showing
it.

Hermes didn't reply. Between us, Hades sat stiffly, his eyes
blank as the woman talked about her life. Slowly, as if it were the most casual
thing in the world, I set my hand over his. I hadn't meant to hurt him, but I'd
been a fool to think I never would. There were consequences for everything. Even
happiness.

As much pain as it caused him though, that was a price I was
willing to pay.

* * *

Despite that first day, Hades and I settled back into
our old routine, this time with genuine friendship between us. I managed to
carry the contentment of my summer into our time together, and as the years
passed and I went back and forth between him and Hermes, I continued to do the
same.

It wasn't simple, but the uneasy truce between the three of us
became all but permanent. Years turned into decades and decades into centuries;
before long, I'd lost all track of time, my only benchmarks the beginning of
spring and the end of summer.

But we were happy. Even Hades eventually adjusted, and I no
longer saw pain in his eyes when he met me in the meadow every autumn. Instead
he seemed pleased to see me once more, and slowly I grew to be happy to see him,
as well. I hated the Underworld, and that wall between us was as strong as ever,
but his understanding made me more accepting of his world.

Nothing changed for a long time. But one day, as I lingered in
the observatory after we'd finished our judgments, I closed my eyes and did
something I'd done thousands of times before: I found Hermes. Summer was only a
short time away, and I was anxious to be with him again.

He was in his chambers in Olympus, standing on his balcony as
the sun reflected off his light hair. And he wasn't alone. That wasn't anything
unusual—he was social by nature, the complete opposite of Hades, and he usually
spent a great deal of time with our brothers and sisters. But this time it was
Aphrodite who stood beside him.

And she was naked.

Not that
that
was anything unusual,
either, but the way she hugged his arm to her chest, the way he touched her—

I was going to be sick.

Hermes and I had never talked about what he did during the
winters. He knew I wasn't with Hades, not like that, and I'd always let myself
believe that he waited for me. Maybe most of the time he did. But we didn't have
any rules about our time apart, and I had no right to feel as furious as I
did.

It was Aphrodite though—the goddess who had everything. Love,
satisfaction, a perfect life, a happy marriage. And now she was taking the one
thing I had that was mine, the one damn thing in the world that gave me any
amount of real joy.

But Hermes certainly didn't seem to be complaining.

How dare you.
I pushed the thought
upward with every ounce of strength I had. It still took ages to reach Hermes,
but when it did, his eyes widened, and he immediately moved away from Aphrodite.
His cheeks turned red, and when she tried to rejoin him, he sidestepped her. So
he knew he was doing something wrong, after all.

“Persephone, please—I'll explain everything later.”

Like hell he would. Like hell I would let him. What would he
say, that Aphrodite had accidentally slipped into his arms? That it was only a
onetime thing? That he'd missed me and he was lonely, and he couldn't wait any
longer?

This is over. Don't bother to come by this
summer, because you and I are done.

“Persephone?” said Aphrodite, and she looked around. “She's
watching?”

I didn't bother to wait for Hermes's response. I pulled myself
back into the observatory so quickly that for the first time since mastering my
powers, I grew dizzy. I sat there for a long moment, my head between my knees,
and struggled not to break down.

What else had I expected? He was Zeus's son as surely as I was
Zeus's daughter. Cheating was in our blood. But no matter how many times I'd
done it to Hades, that slap in the face—that complete and utter betrayal—had
never hit home for me before.

My face was hot, and tears prickled in my eyes, but I refused
to let them go. Instead I forced myself to breathe in and out slowly, counting
each breath. Hermes loved me; I was certain of that. But why had he gone to
Aphrodite? Was half a year really so long to wait?

Or had she seduced him? Were Ares and Hephaestus and Poseidon
not enough for her?

Of course not. This was Aphrodite. She could never have enough,
and she took whatever she wanted without a second thought. Mother may have
considered me selfish, but I was nothing compared to my sister.

The door to the observatory opened and shut, and I wiped my dry
cheeks angrily. I wanted to hurt something. I wanted to wrap my hands around
Hermes's neck and squeeze. It wouldn't kill him, but it would help me feel a
hell of a lot better.

“Persephone?”

And now I might have my chance. I straightened, my eyes
narrowing as I focused on Hermes. He looked as if he'd dressed in a hurry, his
clothing rumpled and his hair a mess. At least he'd bothered at all. “I told you
not to come.”