The Glass Sentence (The Mapmakers Trilogy) (10 page)

“Wherever I went, the sound of weeping followed, and the sadness began to wear on me; though I knew it had no rational cause, as long as the weeping was audible my grief was uncontrollable. The sound was heartbreaking. At times, the thing I heard wept quietly, bitterly. At other times, it moaned and sobbed. And still other times it nearly screamed, as if subjected to some terrible violence. I had no choice, then, but to accept the truth: I was being followed by a Lachrima.”

Theo made a noise of surprise. “A real Lachrima?”

Sophia remembered what she had heard Mrs. Clay saying to Shadrack, on the day parliament had closed the borders, and she asked the question she had been unable to ask then. “What’s a Lachrima?’

“I’ve never seen one,” Theo said. “They’re supposed to be horrible.”

The housekeeper nodded sadly. “They are. No one knows what the Lachrima are or where they come from. Some believe they are spirits. Others believe they are creatures from a terrible future Age. There are so many stories about them that it’s hard to know which are true. All I know is what I heard—and saw.”

“You
saw
it?” Theo asked breathlessly.

“For several weeks, the professors at the academy put up with it very kindly, insisting that the presence of the Lachrima was no fault of mine. But the truth is that everyone—not just me—found it unbearable. Imagine what it is like to hear the sound of weeping all the time—even when you are trying to sleep. Imagine feeling that burden of inexplicable, inconsolable grief. For the sake of the others, I shut myself up in my room, thinking that, if I simply waited, the Lachrima would tire of following me and go on its way.

“One night that week, I finally saw it. The exhaustion of several days without sleep caught up with me, and I fell finally into a heavy slumber. I woke in the middle of the night to a terrible sound—horrible cries, like those made by a frightened animal. I sat up with a start, my heart pounding. And then I saw it. The Lachrima was huddled by my bed.”

“What did it look like?” Theo asked eagerly.

“Very much as I’d heard it described, only far more frightening than I’d imagined. It was tall and slender, dressed in thin white robes that trailed down to the floor. Its hair was dark and very long, and its face was buried in its hands. Its whole appearance was worn, as if it had lived for years in some dirty corner and was only now emerging. And then, as it continued to weep, the Lachrima lowered its hands from its face.

“I could never have imagined anything so horrible. I saw that its face—
its face wasn’t there
. The Lachrima had only smooth white skin: skin that showed clearly the shape of its eye sockets and mouth and jaw; skin that looked as if someone had smoothed away all its features.

“For a moment I was too terrified to do anything. And then I bolted from my bed and ran. Though I fled to the other side of the house, I could still hear its distant wails. When I returned to my room at dawn it was empty, but the sound was still in my ears, and I knew, then, that I had to leave. That very morning I packed my belongings and told the director of the academy. He didn’t try to stop me.

“Part of me had, perhaps, hoped that if I left the academy the Lachrima would remain behind. But of course this didn’t happen. For months I tried to outrun it, staying first in Nochtland and then in the smaller towns outside it. Everywhere I went the Lachrima followed, bringing me and everyone near me nothing but terror and despair. After many months of attempting to elude it, I finally made my way north to the border. I no longer cared where I went or what I did, as long as the sound of weeping stopped. The grief wore so heavily upon me that I could not remember what it felt like to live without it. In those days I had yet to discover my faith in the Fates, for the people of the Baldlands follow other religions. But now that I know and believe in those fickle, kind, cruel, and mysterious powers, I believe they were setting me on a deliberate path. They had woven a terrible net around me and were insistently drawing me forward.

“On a day in November, more than a year after the Lachrima first appeared, I found myself in the northern Baldlands, near the border of New Akan. A family of traders was leaving the state, and they took pity on me and took me with them. We entered New Occident at night, and I remember that I fell asleep in the open wagon, listening to the quiet, incessant weeping and watching the stars above me. Then I fell asleep.

“When I awoke, it was midmorning and the young mother sitting next to me in the wagon was quieting her crying baby. The baby began sucking its fingers and a complete silence fell upon us. I could hear the steady
clomp
of the horses’ hooves and the creaking of the wagon wheels and the satisfied noises of the drowsy baby. The weeping of the Lachrima had stopped.

“I knew only one person in New Occident—your uncle, Sophia—and I went about trying to find him. Fortunately, he had made quite a name for himself, and it wasn’t difficult to learn that he lived in Boston. I took the train, and when I arrived I asked Shadrack to help me. He was kinder than I ever could have expected—as you know, Sophia. You have both been very kind to me. With time, I discovered that though the Lachrima was gone, it had left me changed. Now I cannot bear to be in silence. And I find that I can no longer concentrate as I used to.” Mrs. Clay shook her head. “My mind isn’t what it was. Still, living with the memory of the Lachrima is better than living with the Lachrima itself. You see now, don’t you, why I can never go back?”

9

Departure

T
HEO
HAD
TO
satisfy his curiosity about the appearance of the Lachrima, and Sophia had to learn as much as she could about Veressa. Mrs. Clay told them what she knew, and it was very late when they finally exhausted their questions. She persuaded them to stay the night in her sitting room, in case anyone came to the house, saying that they would all decide what to do in the morning.

The tinkling sound of the chimes above Sophia’s head and the anxious thoughts coursing through her brain prevented her from sleeping. The image of Shadrack being led out of the house returned to her, followed by a vision of a faceless creature, wild with grief. Sophia opened her eyes to dispel the image. She could see in the dim light that Theo, bedded down on the carpet, wasn’t sleeping either.

“Poor Mrs. Clay,” Sophia whispered. “I had no idea she had such a terrible story in her past.”

“I wish I’d seen the Lachrima,” Theo whispered back.

“Why would you wish
that
? Look what it did to Mrs. Clay!”

“I’ve heard that if you get close enough you can see through their skin, and that they actually have faces underneath. But hardly anyone gets the chance. If you ask me, the risk is absolutely worth it.”

“I suppose. But if I have to go the Baldlands, I would rather not see or even hear one.”

She could feel Theo’s attention sharpening. “So you’re going to the Baldlands?”

“I have to. Shadrack said to find Veressa, and that’s probably where she is. I think I have to go to Nochtland and ask at the academy.”

Theo lay silently in the darkness for a several seconds. “Tell you what,” he said eventually. “Seeing as I don’t have papers, it’d be a lot easier for me to get back to the Baldlands if I traveled with you. If you see me to the border, I’ll help you get from there to Nochtland.”

Sophia knew she could not ask Mrs. Clay to accompany her. Miles and the other explorers Shadrack counted as friends were gone, quick to leave after news of the borders’ closing. Traveling by train to New Orleans, the closest point to Nochtland, would be easy, but traveling into the Baldlands by herself would be a significant challenge. Sophia knew she could do it; she had confidence in herself as an explorer. She also knew that she could use help. “Okay,” she said. “Thanks,” she added, after a moment.

“No problem. Only fair—you help me, I’ll help you.” She heard him turn over and settle himself for sleep.

Sophia closed her eyes, somewhat relieved now that she had a way forward, a way to follow Shadrack’s instructions. But she did not sleep. Her mind turned gratefully from the disturbing images of Shadrack and the Lachrima to train schedules and other preparations. She began listing the items that she would need to pack.

Her thoughts were interrupted by a sound beyond that of the chimes. She lay with her eyes closed as Theo rose from his pallet and left the room. Sophia thought nothing of it until she heard, with surprise, that he was opening the door to the downstairs apartments. Her eyes flew open. She lay motionlessly for a moment longer, listening as he walked down the steps, and then she got to her feet.

She could hear Theo downstairs. He had stopped on the second floor. Sophia could see the pale yellow light of the flame-lamps stretching over the floorboards of the hallway. She frowned, a sense of unease spreading through her.
What is he doing?
she wondered. Very quietly, she began descending the steps to the second floor.

By letting her sense of time relax, Sophia could move so slowly that she made almost no sound. Several minutes later, she stood in the doorway of Shadrack’s bedroom, watching as Theo opened and closed the drawers of her uncle’s wardrobe. “What are you doing?” she demanded.

Theo jumped. Then he saw Sophia in the doorway, he shook his head, chuckling. “You’re good at that. How’d you walk down so quiet?”

“What are you doing in Shadrack’s room?”

“Don’t get upset,” Theo said placatingly. “I just had an idea.”

“What idea?” Sophia asked. For a moment she thought he might have remembered a clue, a sign: something that would lead them to Shadrack.

“I was thinking that, you know, likely your uncle didn’t have time to take his papers and lifewatch.”

The next moments expanded in her mind to encompass a much longer sense of betrayal. “You were going to
take
them?” she whispered. “You were going to
steal Shadrack’s papers
?”

“No!” Theo protested. “No, I wasn’t going to . . . steal them.”

“Then what?”

“I just thought it would make the trip easier if I had them—you know, if I
borrowed
them.”

“You were going to take Shadrack’s papers and leave on your own,” Sophia said, her tone hardening.

Theo rolled his eyes. “I was
not.
I was going to use the papers so it would be easier along the way and then give them back to you when we got to the Baldlands.”

“That doesn’t make any sense. Why would you need to travel with me anyway if you had papers?
Stolen
papers,” she added bitterly.

“Because I already
said
I would,” Theo replied, suddenly angry as well. “I said I would go with you—we agreed.”

“Then you could have just waited until the morning and asked. Don’t you think I know where Shadrack keeps his papers?” Sophia’s voice was trembling.

“Fine, if you don’t want to believe me,” Theo shot back. “So what if I was going off on my own? What’s that to you?”

“I—”

“Your uncle can get new papers any time.” Theo took a deep breath. “I’m used to looking after myself, and that means worrying about myself first. You think I worried what would happen to Ehrlach without his caged pet? No. Where I come from you can’t think about other people first. It’s every man for himself.”

“I see,” Sophia said, stung. “So I’m just like Ehrlach then—Shadrack is just like Ehrlach. Every man for himself. Is
that
what you were thinking when you saw them taking Shadrack away?”

Theo paced angrily. “Yes. That’s exactly what I was thinking. One kid in feathers and five armed men. Not exactly good odds. I could have run into that mess, and right now I’d be wherever your uncle is. That would have been no help to either of us. Or I could have done what I did: watch what happened, stick around to tell you about it, and be here to help you get into the Baldlands.”

“Why should you help me? You don’t even care what happened to Shadrack! You just want his papers.” Sophia clenched her fists to steady herself.

Theo gave a sharp sigh of frustration. “Look, you’ve got the wrong idea. Yes—I’d rather do things on my own. That’s how I’ve always been, and I’m not going to apologize for it. But I keep my word. We agreed to help each other, and I’m going to stick to that. You can think what you like; I wasn’t going to take your uncle’s papers. I was just thinking about what would make getting to Nochtland easier.”

Sophia stared at Theo—his brown eyes, narrowed to wary slits, his hands clenched—and she realized that she had no idea who he was. The sense of sudden familiarity, that she could trust him, that he could be a friend, evaporated. “You should go on your own,” she said out loud, her cheeks burning. “I’ll be fine.”

“Don’t be ridiculous. Right now it only makes sense for us to help each other. Come on, think about it,” Theo said in an appeasing tone. “Do you have any idea how to get to Nochtland from the border?”

Sophia was silent. She felt a surge of panic at the thought. “Fine,” she said quietly.

“Good,” Theo said. “Our agreement stands, then.” He smiled, every trace of anger suddenly gone from his face.

Sophia took in his easy smile with indignation, giving him only a grimace in return. “Shadrack keeps his papers in a leather wallet in his vest,” she said softly. “And his lifewatch is on a chain clipped to his pocket. I’m sure he has them both.” Without waiting for a reply, she turned, her hair whisking across her shoulder, and stalked up to Mrs. Clay’s sitting room.

Soon Theo joined her there, stretching out on the carpet beside the sofa. Sophia was still angry; she could feel the blood pounding in her temples. And she was anxious; she knew she had no better alternative, but the thought of relying on Theo, who now seemed so unpredictable and unknown, filled her with apprehension. She tried to calm herself by staring overhead at the slow rotation of the chimes. They reflected the pale light from the window, casting small glimmers on the wall and ceiling. After several minutes had passed, she heard Theo’s heavy breathing and knew that he was asleep. She cast a sharp glance in his direction.
Every man for himself,
Sophia thought bitterly.
What kind of philosophy is that? Not the kind of philosophy that makes you want to rescue someone in a cage, that’s for sure. I wish I’d never even thought of helping him.

— 8-Hour 35: Waking at Mrs. Clay’s—

S
OP
HIA
AWOKE
WHEN
the sun was already high. She checked her watch; it was past eight. Theo still lay fast asleep on the carpet, his face turned toward the wall. Sophia smelled eggs and coffee. In the kitchen, she found Mrs. Clay standing at the stove, quietly humming. With her hair in its usual tidy bun and her dress protected by an embroidered white apron, she seemed calm and well refreshed.

“Good morning, Mrs. Clay,” Sophia said.

“Good morning!” the housekeeper replied, turning to her. “Come have some breakfast. I’m feeling optimistic, Sophia.” She brought a pan of scrambled eggs from the stove and scooped a large portion onto Sophia’s plate. “I feel confident that the Fates will be assisting you.”

“Do you think so?” Sophia asked anxiously, taking a seat. Shadrack thought the Fates were a tolerable convention, at best, and a dangerous delusion, at worst. Sophia wanted to follow Shadrack’s example and scoff at such fancies, but part of her worried that the unjust removal of her parents rather verified the existence of those three cruel, arbitrary powers who spun sorrow and misfortune and death as easily as others spun cloth. The more Mrs. Clay had talked about them over the years, the more Sophia became convinced that the Fates were real, and they fashioned all the happenings of the world, weaving them into a pattern only the three of them could comprehend.

“I have taken the liberty,” Mrs. Clay went on, pouring Sophia a cup of coffee, “of speaking with the Fates on your behalf.” She retrieved her sewing basket from the sideboard. “They really are the most difficult creatures.” She shook her head. “Totally heartless. They refused to say anything at all about Shadrack. But they seemed encouraging about your reaching Veressa. They were most insistent that I give you this.” She handed Sophia a spool of silver thread. “Who knows what they intend you to do with it,” she sighed. “They are fickle, at best—cruel at worst. But I have found that it is generally wise to do as they say when they make such specific recommendations.”

“Thank you,” Sophia said with sincere gratitude. She tucked the spool into her pocket. “Perhaps they will help me along the way.”

“Perhaps so. It’s the least I can do, dear, since I can’t go with you. Good morning, Theo,” she added.

Sophia turned to see a sleepy-looking Theo in the kitchen doorway. She turned back to her plate with annoyance.

“Good morning,” Theo replied.

“I hope you slept well.”

“Very well. The carpet was extremely comfortable. Were you discussing travel plans?” he asked, sitting down at the table.

“We hadn’t begun. Would you like some eggs?” Mrs. Clay asked, going to the stove.

“I’d love some, Mrs. Clay,” Theo said in his most courteous tone. Sophia stared into her cup. “We talked it over last night,” he went on comfortably, “and we’ve agreed to travel as far as Nochtland together. Right, Sophia?” He smiled at her.

Sophia looked at him unsmilingly. “That’s what we agreed.”

“I could travel as far as the border with you,” Mrs. Clay said uncertainly, handing Theo a full plate.

“That’s kind of you, Mrs. Clay,” Sophia told her, “but the trip to New Orleans will be easy. We’ll probably just have to change trains once.” She did not add that it was the next part of the journey that worried her: where she was most needed, Mrs. Clay could not help.
Maybe we’ll get to the border and Theo will just vanish
, she thought.

“They will check for papers on the train,” Mrs. Clay said. “I’ve heard that they’re putting foreigners on separate cars.”

“Yes, but I’ll have my papers, and they won’t bother Theo if he’s with me,” Sophia said flatly. “It isn’t July fourth yet.”

“Theo, do you need to get word to anyone? The trip to Nochtland will delay you by several weeks.”

“My family’s not expecting me back for a while,” he replied easily.

“And you’ll take care of Sophia once you reach the Baldlands?”

“Of course. I’ve traveled that route dozens of times—no problem.”

“It seems a terribly long way for you both to go alone,” Mrs. Clay said. She patted her bun and sighed. “If only I knew someone who lived near the border.”

“The greatest help,” Sophia said, “would be to stay here in case Shadrack returns. Otherwise we’ll have no way of knowing.”

“Thanks to him I now have papers and a lifewatch, so I can stay without concern. If something should happen in the next twenty hours, I will send letters by express post to the first major station on your route.”

With a train schedule from Shadrack’s study spread out across the kitchen table, they decided to take the train south through New Occident, all the way to Charleston, South Carolina, and then connect to a train heading west into New Akan. The journey would take several days. The train line ran only as far as New Orleans, and they would have to cross from New Occident into the Baldlands either on horse or on foot.