The Glass Knot-mmf (10 page)

“Oh,
er, thanks.” So it was Josh who wanted me to come and stay. Not Nick.

He
led the way out of the kitchen, I put down my tea and followed.

Maybe
that was the reason for his coolness. He didn’t want me to visit at all. He’d hoped
that I was a one-night event and would never enter their lives again. But Josh
had sent me flowers and invited me to come and stay. I guessed he hadn’t
mentioned to Nick that I was there to do a birthday portrait of him. He was
keeping it a surprise. Though I couldn’t help thinking that if Nick knew I was
there on a professional level first and foremost, he’d be a little more
receptive.

“Lounge,”
Nick said, throwing open a door to yet another huge room with big beams and a
wide inglenook fireplace.

“It’s
beautiful,” I said, gazing around. The leather furniture was chocolate brown,
and a tall bookcase, TV stand, and sturdy coffee table were all made of wood
the same nutty color.

“We
like it,” Nick said, walking over to the window and straightening one of the
cream-and-gold striped curtains.

“This
room is the size of my whole flat,” I said, eyeing a lush coffee-colored rug in
front of the fire. The pile looked flattened, a little worn.

“Mmm,”
Nick offered. “Is it?”

“Though
of course that’s London living for you, nowhere near the space you guys have in
the countryside.”

He
looked at me, swiped his tongue over his bottom lip then stepped from the room.

I
followed and hoped he would lighten up a bit once Josh arrived.

He
led me across the hall, showed me a small downstairs shower room and his grand
office. I made the right noises, saying how lovely it all was, which it was,
incredibly so. In fact, I was surprised it hadn’t been photographed for
Perfect
Home
magazine.

Nick
lifted my ripped case and I followed him upstairs.

“This
is the guest room,” he said, stopping at the first door we came to. He nudged it
with his shoulder to reveal a double room with a large queen-sized bed and a
long dressing table. The low window looked out at the country lane and the
hills beyond.

“It’s
lovely,” I said, thinking how nice it would be to sleep in such a sweet-smelling
room and not one that held a musty odor of dampness all the time. It would have
been nicer to think that I’d be sharing a bed with Josh, but of course, that
wasn’t going to happen.

“Josh
ordered new bedding for your stay. He thought you’d like something flowery.” He
set the case on the floor at the end of the bed.

“He
did?” I looked at the chintzy duvet cover. It had delicate pattern of pink and
red roses intertwined with pale green leaves and stalks. The pillows matched as
did the scatter cushions on the window seat. “That was really kind of him, of
you too, thanks.”

Nick
shrugged. “Don’t thank me, it was Josh’s idea.”

“Oh.”
I glanced again at the pattern and wondered why Josh thought I would be a
flowery person. Then it occurred to me. He’d said I smelled like sugar and
petals. Suddenly it was the nicest duvet cover and the prettiest pattern I’d
ever seen. Josh had picked it out because it reminded him of me.

I
wish he was here.

“There’s
towels in the second drawer down,” Nick said. “Josh has put books and magazines
he thinks you’ll like on the shelf in the cupboard and there’s plenty of
hanging space.” He turned and walked out of the room.

I
went after him. “That’s lovely, you really shouldn’t have gone to so much
trouble though.”

“I
didn’t, Josh did.”

The
knot in my stomach doubled, tripled. He really couldn’t be any clearer and I
couldn’t ignore it any longer.  Nick hadn’t wanted me to come at all.

Maybe
I should just go home. Cut my losses. Who wanted to be an unwanted guest?

But
why should I?

Josh
asked me to come and stay. I’d driven all that way in my clunky car, spent
money on petrol and was hoping for some much-needed work. No, I was here and I
was staying—at least until I saw Josh.

“Main
bathroom,” Nick said, pointing to a shut door. “And this is our room.” He flung
open a set of double doors and I stepped inside.

I
was shocked by the sudden change in decor. This room, instead of being light
and airy, was dark and sexy, more of a boudoir than a bedroom. Black and silver
fleur-de-lis paper covered the walls. The bed was the biggest I’d ever seen and
had black silky sheets and silver pillows. The fitted furniture was made of dark
wood and the accents around the room were a rich purple—the curtains, a
rug at the end of the bed, several large abstract pictures on the walls.

“Very
nice,” I said, looking at a big framed photograph of Josh and Nick, laughing as
they wrapped their arms around one another’s bare shoulders. There was a jeep
in the distance, and I wondered if it had been taken when they were on Safari.

“It’s
our sanctuary,” Nick said. “When we’re in our bedroom, together, we feel like
there’s no one else in the world. Just us, only we exist. That’s all we need.”

“That’s
how you should feel in your bedroom,” I said, wishing mine at home was even
half the sanctuary this one was and wishing Josh needed me, just a little.

Nick
turned and walked down the corridor. “We have two more guest rooms, one we’ve
turned into a gym, and one Josh uses as an office.”

“Mmm,
nice.” I lingered in the doorway of their room, staring at the bed and wondering
what exactly they did there.

Images
filled my mind, dirty, sexy images of Nick and Josh naked. Josh sucking Nick’s
cock deep into his mouth and Nick sinking his hands into Josh’s thick hair,
urging him on. I imagined Josh bent over the end of the bed, Nick fucking him,
gripping his hips and pounding into him. I could see Josh’s face, contorted
with pleasure, his lips bared, his eyes shut and his nose wrinkled, just at the
bridge, as he claimed his release.

“Do
you want me to leave you to unpack now?” Nick asked, reaching past me, pulling
up the door and forcing me to step away.

“I,
er, sorry.” I rid the images from my mind, for now. “No, I’ll do that later,
but I’ll just grab my camera, and then if it’s okay with you catch the fabulous
evening light and take some pictures of the outside of the cottage.”

“Fine
by me.” He shrugged and walked down the stairs, his feet quiet on the thick
carpet.

I
grabbed my Nikon from my case. Taking photographs was a good idea. It would
help pass the time until Josh came home and would save me from an uncomfortable
conversation with Nick. I should have asked him what his problem was, why he’d
agreed for me to come to Barn View if he wasn’t comfortable with it.

Well,
it was too late now, he’d gone downstairs and into the kitchen, and besides,
the coward in me wanted Josh to be there if I was going to ask that delicate
question.

I
left my tea and headed straight outside. The air was still and pleasant, and
the absence of smog and damp a treat for my city lungs.

After
taking several shots of the front aspect of the cottage, I got carried away
with a bumble bee covered in pollen dipping in and out of the lupins.
Eventually, I headed around to the side garden. This appeared to be a long
vegetable patch, and I wondered who had the green fingers. Josh or Nick; it was
very fruitful and the runner beans worthy of a prize.

I
clicked away and captured a caterpillar crawling on a cabbage leaf, his back
arched and his milky color vivid against the green. Leaving him to his
industrious munching, I followed the path and came to the rear of the cottage.

For
a moment I just stopped and stared. The back garden was not only huge it was
also beautiful. A cascade of flowers surrounded a patio area, and a pond
complete with lily pads sat before an orchard of what appeared to be apple,
pear and plum trees. Beyond this stood two enormous stone buildings, barns I
guessed, judging from the lack of windows and the slate roofs.

I
took several photographs of the scene as a whole then ventured past the wooden
patio furniture, toward the pond.

Bending,
I spotted a tiny frog. His yellow eyes were wide and his back legs curled up
ready to jump. And jump he did, straight onto a lily pad. I zoomed in and took
several pictures.

“He
told me everything, you know.”

My
whole body jolted and my heart stuttered. It was a good job my camera was securely
attached around my neck or it would have dropped in the pond.

“Nick,”
I gasped, standing and turning quickly to face him. My legs were suddenly light
and twitchy as adrenaline pumped into my system. “You startled me.”

The
low sun rendered him in partial silhouette, obscuring the details of his
features, but I could feel the intensity of his gaze burning into me.

“He
told me everything. Every tiny detail of your night together.”

I
swallowed, my mouth dry, my tongue heavy.

Of
course he had.

Mine
and Josh’s night together was something Nick and Josh had planned, so why
wouldn’t Josh fill him in on all the details?

All
the tiny details.

“Oh,
I see.” I said, flicking off my camera and spending an extra few seconds
re-attaching the lens cover to buy thinking time. A prickly flush of heat was
rising on my chest. Had Josh described the feel of my breasts, the tightness of
my pussy, the way I sounded when I came?

Nick
was quiet, as if thinking too.

I
looked back up at him, dreading his next words and preparing for acute
embarrassment.

Nick
said nothing, just stepped a little closer. The shadow of his tall frame
engulfed me and allowed me to see into his eyes. They were dark and heavy, the
irises such a dense brown the color melted into his black pupils.

“He
told me…” He paused and sucked in a deep breath. “He told me that if you were
surprised by his proposition you hid it well.
That
you were sweet and understanding, and touched him with such respect and care
that he didn’t feel nervous or inept at all.”

I
watched Nick’s mouth as he spoke; his top two front teeth were slightly
crossed. I hadn’t noticed that before.

“He
said, Laura, that you made sure his one night with a woman was as perfect as a
night could be.”

Relief
poured through me and my heart soared. It was as damn near perfect as any night
of mine had ever been too. “I’m glad he felt that way,” I managed.

Nick
huffed, a deep gruff sound that held no humor. “Well, I’m pleased
you
are, because it scared the shit out of me.”

“What
do you mean?”

“I’ve
spent the last ten years trying to make everything perfect for Josh. He’s the
love of my life, my everything. This home, supporting him through the beginning
of his career, the extravagant holidays, placating his damn homophobic father,
I’ve done it all to make life perfect for Josh, and then…” He gritted his teeth
and squeezed his eyes shut; his long, black lashes meshed together and the
small crinkles on the outer edge of his sockets deepened. “And then you, in just
one
night, make everything perfect.”

There
was pain in his face, fear behind his words.
I
felt as though a whole pile of rubble was settling in my stomach. What had I
done? Nick looked as though his life was coming to an end.

“Nick,”
I said, reaching out and touching his forearm. His skin was warm, the thick
fuzz of hairs tickly on my fingertips. “Nick, I’m sorry. I thought it was all
okay with you. Josh told me—”

He
snapped open his eyes. “Don’t touch me.”

I
tugged away my hand. Hurt flooded my soul. He hated me.

“I
know what Josh told you,” Nick said. “He told you what I wanted him to say.”

“So
it was a lie. You weren’t okay with Josh being with me that night?” I couldn’t
keep the shock from my voice. This had been their bloody idea, how come I was
suddenly the bad girl?

Nick
shook his head and stepped away, walked toward the patio table that held a
large vase of pink and lilac sweetpea. He rested his hands on the back of a
chair and half bent over, as though he held the weight of the world on his
shoulders and the burden had made him weary. “I was never going to be happy
about him spending a night with another person, male or female. But it was a
case of if you love something let it go and hope it comes back. I did, he did.”

“So,
what’s changed?”

He
stood and turned, leaned his butt against the chair and folded his arms over
his chest. “Ah, now there’s the key word, change. He came back, but I was a
fool to think he wouldn’t be changed by the experience. Oh, I’m not saying he’s
in love with you or anything. Because he’s not, you know.”

“No,
of course not, I know that.” Even I wasn’t deluded enough to think that was a
possibility.