The Girl with my Heart (Summer Unplugged #8) (4 page)

I can’t remember the last time Bayleigh rode in the middle seat of my truck. But it feels good to have her there now. We hit the highway and cruise for several miles because all of the good restaurants are way out of our small ass town. I throw my arm around her shoulder and hold her close.

She’s wearing a black sleeveless dress with a wide sparkly belt and it looks hot as hell on her. I slide my hand up her thigh, under the hem of her dress. I slide it further, until she giggles and pushes my hand away.

She seems a lot better than she was earlier, and although I wish I could have been the one to cheer her up, I’m happy regardless.

“So do we want Italian or Mexican?” I ask.

Bayleigh looks at me and grins. “I dunno, surprise me.”

“I’ve missed that smile,” I say, leaning over and kissing her forehead. She looks back at me and the grin is wider than ever.

“Oh stop it,” she says, pushing my arm. “I smile all the damn time.”

I bite my lip and focus on the road ahead of me. This might be a good time to bring up why she was so upset lately, but then again, the last thing I want to do is piss her off right before dinner. I draw in a deep breath and let out a sigh.

“What’s wrong?” Bay asks. She plays with a piece of thread that’s sticking out from the knee of my jeans.

“Nothing’s wrong, baby.”

She turns toward me with one eyebrow lifted. “Umm…people don’t just make a big freaking sigh like that if nothing’s wrong.”

For some reason this makes me laugh. I shake my head. “Seriously, nothing is wrong. I was just sighing for fun. I’m really really excited for dinner tonight.”

“It’ll be nice eating something without constantly checking on Jett.” She squishes her lips to the side of her mouth and looks down at her hands. “God. Does that make me a terrible mom? That I’m actually excited about having a few hours away from him?”

“No way, you’re an amazing mom.” I reach over and grab her hand, pulling it into my lap as I drive. “Every parent needs a break every now and then. You can’t feel bad about it. Besides, your mom begged to take Jett so it’s not like you pawned him off so you could party.”

She laughs. “We’re not really party people, are we?”

“People go to parties to get wasted and sleep with strangers. So no, we’re way better than party people.”

I choose the Mexican restaurant and the way Bay’s face lights up lets me know I’ve chosen the right place. It’s a famous restaurant located on a manmade circular river surrounded by a boardwalk.

“This place is so beautiful,” Bayleigh says as I pull into a parking spot and cut the engine.

“I need a margarita,” I say.

She slaps my arm. “So you chose this place for your own selfish whims and not to surprise me?” Her eyes pierce into mine and then she starts laughing. “Ugh, I can’t stay mad at you.”

“You’re not mad at me, dork.”

She rolls her eyes. “I know. But it’s not fair that you can drink and I can’t.”

I take her face and bring her lips to mine. “Take that up with the government. I don’t make the laws.”

We get out of the truck and head to the restaurant. I take her hand as we walk. “I still have two years until I can legally drink. This is such crap.”

“I’ll order two margaritas and slide one over to you.”

Her eyes go wide. “Oh my god, Jace. You’re not serious?”

“Why do you say it like that? I really don’t think you’ll get in trouble.”

“Babe I can’t drink,” she says, sliding her arm around my elbow and holding me close as we reach the host stand. We’re third in line to get a table.

“Why not?”

“I’m breastfeeding,” she whispers. Her cheeks go pink.

“Oh, right.” I feel like a complete idiot but she doesn’t seem to mind.

We get a table outside and sit right next to the railing that overlooks the water and all of the people walking past. There’s a cool breeze out and it’s the perfect temperature for eating outside. At the far end of the patio a mariachi band plays and Bayleigh’s fingers drum to the beat.

Our waiter is a polite man in his forties and he seems to understand that we don’t want to chit chat and would rather be alone. The chips are delicious and the queso is even better. It’s as if all of the elements are coming together to give us this wonderful night together.

“I want, like, one of everything,” Bayleigh says, looking over the menu. “Let’s order one of everything.”

I wink. “Do it.”

My phone beeps from inside my jeans pocket. “Shit, babe, I’m sorry,” I say, sliding my hand in my pocket to silence the phone. “I forgot to turn this off.”

She waves my words away with her hand. “You’re a busy man, I get it.” She gives me a genuine smile. “Answer it, I don’t mind.”

“Really?” I take out my phone. “I mean, it’s probably nothing, but maybe I should check just in case Park got in a wreck or something.”

Bayleigh rolls her eyes. “I seriously don’t mind, babe. We’re married now. It’s not like our dates need to be some formal event.”

She might act like I’m being silly by questioning her intentions, but she doesn’t realize I’ve been walking on eggshells ever since she was so pissed off for seemingly no reason the other day. I love having happy Bayleigh back but now I’m constantly worried that I’ll say something, or do something, and it’ll set her off again and she’ll be crying in the cab of my truck and I won’t know what to do to make it better.

I glance down at my phone and find a text from a number I don’t know. “Must be a client,” I say as I click on the message.

A pair of pale boobs with a bikini tan line fill my phone’s screen. My heart runs cold. I scroll down the message to read the text at the bottom.

There’s plenty more where this came from, boss. Xoxo

Oh shit. Natalie is completely off the rails.

“What is it?” Bayleigh asks over the top of her menu. “Everything okay?”

I shove the phone back into my pocket. “Fine, yeah, totally. Nothing’s—nothing’s wrong.”

She lifts an eyebrow. “It doesn’t seem okay.”

I shake my head, probably a little too much. My heart is pounding and my mouth is dry. This bitch of an assistant is really pissing me off. I don’t even know what her goal is, besides being an annoying skank, but now she’s affected my life outside of work.

“Everything’s fine babe.” And I mean it. First thing tomorrow I’m going to tell that bitch exactly what she can do with her dirty messages.

I’m fuming about Natalie’s text message for the rest of the night. I don’t think Bayleigh notices because I do an insane job of hiding it beneath a multitude of smiles and kisses and hand holding as we walk along the river walk after dinner. I’m happy to be spending a wonderful night with my wife. But I’m still pissed.

“These heels are killing me,” Bay says, stopping in the middle of the wooden pathway next to the water. We’ve made two loops around the manmade lake and are nearly back to the restaurant where we’re parked. She looks up at me, biting her bottom lip. “I have a huge blister on my heel. Do you think we could sit down for a minute?”

“No problem,” I say, taking her hand. “There’s a bench up ahead.”

She takes a step forward, hobbling on her right foot. “Oh fuck it,” she says with a groan. She bends down and removes her black high heel shoe. “I’ll just go barefoot.”

On instinct, I bend and pick her up, tucking my arm under her knees and the other one under her head. She squeals as I lift her off the ground. “Jace!” she says as red fills her cheeks. “You don’t have to do this.”

I kiss her and walk toward the bench. “I don’t want your foot to hurt and I really don’t want you getting some weird foot disease on this filthy boardwalk.”

She beats my chest with her hand. “Put me down, I’m too heavy.”

I roll my eyes. “You are so not heavy.”

“Oh my god, yes I am. Jace!”

“Too late!” I stick out my tongue at her.

We’ve already arrived at the bench so all of her begging to put her down is now moot. I lean forward and set her on the bench and then slide over next to her, wrapping my arm around her shoulders. She smells like coconut shampoo and I want to bury my face into her hair, pull her close to me and live there forever.

She crosses her legs, letting the bare foot hover off the ground. The blister-causing shoe sits next to us on the bench.

“I don’t know why you wear those things when they hurt your feet.”

She grabs my hand and peers up at me. “I wear them because they’re sexy.”

“Uhhhh, so sexy is more important than being able to walk without pain?”

“Yes.”

I lift an eyebrow. “Honey, you’re sexy no matter what sort of shoes are on your feet.”

She shakes her head. “No, you’re wrong. Heels make my calves tighter, which makes them look thinner, which makes me look sexier. Flats are comfortable but make me a fat cow.”

“You cannot be serious.” I shake my head and cover my mouth so she doesn’t see that I’m trying really hard not to laugh. The way she’s glaring at me right now lets me know that she’s serious and doesn’t think any of this is a joke.

“Jace, I don’t need you to make jokes right now.”

“I’m not, baby. I just…come on…you’re nowhere near being fat. High heels or otherwise.”

Bay draws in a deep breath, then lets it out slowly while her gaze focuses on the rippling in the water. She pulls a hair tie off her wrist and puts her hair into a ponytail. “Let’s go home now.”

A strand of hair that’s too short for her ponytail falls in front of her eyes and I tuck it behind her ear. “Babe, what’s wrong?”

“Nothing.”

I frown. Her stony gaze says otherwise.

“I know you’re lying to me,” I say. “I just wish I knew why you’d rather lie than tell me what’s really going on.”

A few moments of silence pass and then her head slowly turns my way. I offer her an encouraging smile and then words tumble out of my mouth before I can stop myself. “I wish you’d tell me what’s been bothering you lately. Why you keep flipping out for seemingly no reason.”

Shit. I probably shouldn’t have brought that up. I mean, we were having such a great time tonight—date night—no drama whatsoever. So of course, my dumbass has gone and ruined it.

She bites her bottom lip and peers into my eyes. God, she is so beautiful. And yet she’ll sit there, looking insecure and worried, having absolutely no damn idea that she is the greatest thing in the world. She’s the best part of my life, inside and out.

I shake my head, hating that she’ll never know exactly how much I love her. And then I cup her face in my hands and pull her close to me, kissing her, running my tongue across her lips, willing my body to show her exactly what she means to me.

We make out on the bench for a long while and if people are passing by us, gawking or turning away embarrassed, I have no idea. All I can focus on is her. My Bayleigh. My girl. My wife. The girl with my heart.

“Fine,” she says, pulling away from a kiss. “I’ll tell you. But not here.”

“Then where?” I ask lightly, trailing my finger down her collar bone.

“In the truck.” She gnaws on her lip for the millionth time tonight. “I’ll tell you in the truck but only because you won’t be looking at me. You have to look at the road, okay?”

I can’t help the grin that spreads across my face. “Okay, weirdo. I’ll only look at the road.”

It feels like I can’t get to the parking lot fast enough. Bay refuses to let me carry her all the way, saying it would be embarrassing, so we’re forced to hobble our way to the truck while she wears the blister-causing heels.

“I think you’re just taking a long time on purpose,” I say.

She rolls her eyes. “You think I like having my heel in constant pain?”

“If I carried you, we’d be there by now.”

She shakes her head. “You’re not carrying me. I’m too heavy.”

“Girl, I can bench press five of you.”

She snorts. We reach my truck and I walk over to her side, opening the door for her. “I’m serious,” I say, smacking her on the ass as she climbs inside. “You’re never too heavy.”

She sticks her tongue out at me and I lean forward, grabbing it with my lips. She giggles and I deepen the kiss until she shoves me away. “I don’t want you getting all turned on before we drive.”

I shrug my shoulders. “Too late!”

When we’re driving out of the parking lot, I turn and give her my cheesiest grin. “So…wanna tell me what’s been bothering you?”

“No, but I guess I have to, huh?”

“Promises are promises,” I say. I’m smiling and playing around with her but the truth is a painful knot in the pit of my stomach. Whatever’s been bothering her lately, she takes it out on me and that has me worried to death that I’ve done something unintentionally bad in this relationship. Whatever she says might change us forever. But I have to know.

We can’t get past this if we don’t talk about it.

Bayleigh draws in a deep breath and lets it out slowly. She twists her wedding ring around her finger and I hope to God that it’s just a nervous movement and not her way of subliminally wanting to be done with me, done with her ring and done with her marriage.

The knots in my stomach hurt like hell. I can barely drive the fucking truck in between the lines on the road. “How bad is this?” I ask, just as she’s about to speak.

She looks sideways at me, her features darkening when she sees my expression. “Oh, Jace, it’s not you. I’m not mad at you.”

Somehow her words do nothing to quell the mass of anxiety that bubbles up inside of me, threating to explode and take my heart with it. She even reaches over and takes my hand and I still don’t feel any better. “Then what is it?”

She lets go of my hand and returns to playing with her ring. Her lips form a thin line and she stares at the road ahead. “I don’t know how to say this so…I guess I’ll just say it.”

“Please. I’m dying here.”

She sighs. “Okay, so it’s no secret that you’re the golden one in this relationship.”

“Golden?” I grip the steering wheel nervously. “Babe that doesn’t do anything to clear up this situation.”

She throws her hands in the air. “Golden—meaning perfect. I’m the poor hick town loser who managed to tie you down only because I got pregnant.”

“What the hell?” She startles at my outburst. I laugh. “You did not tie me down, Bay. I was going to marry you with or without an unplanned pregnancy. Where is this coming from?”

She shakes her head. “Okay fine. You can say what you want…you can pretend that you would have married me anyway, but the truth is that we both know—hell, the whole world knows—that you are so much better than me, in every possible way.”

My brows pull together. “I don’t understand what you’re getting at. I know you’ll roll your eyes if I tell you that everything you just said is wrong…so…what’s the point?”

She gnaws on her bottom lip and watches the streetlights zoom past. “My point is that I’ve always known these things about us and I’ve always hated it, but somehow I managed to just shove it out of my mind and try to pretend it wasn’t real.”

“Are you unhappy with us?” My voice cracks. Please say no. Please say no.

“I’m not—ugh, that’s not it.”

“It sure as hell sounds like that’s it. You’re telling me you think I’m too good for you and that is so completely not true.”

She swallows. “Jace, you’ve always been too good for me. That was a problem that I managed to somehow get over, but now…now it’s like you’ve surpassed being too good for me. Now you’re on a whole other level and it’s just ridiculous.”

I open my mouth but have no words to say.

She looks over at me with tears in her eyes. “I love you with all of my heart but I feel like a terrible person. How am I supposed to live with myself knowing that you should be with someone better?”

“We’re married and we have a child together and your name is on all the same accounts that my name is on. We’re not two separate people anymore…we’re together. So exactly what do you think has changed, Bay?”

“Me, okay?” she snaps. “It’s me. I’ve changed.”

Oh my god. I let out a breath and my heart tightens in my chest. “Do you not love me anymore?” I can barely get the words out.

She’s quiet for a few seconds but it feels like hours. Finally, she says, “That’s not it.”

“How have you changed?”

“Do I really have to spell it out for you?”

“Uh, yeah,” I say, trying to focus on the road and keep my heart from exploding all at the same time. “You seem like the exact same Bayleigh I’ve always known. So, what’s changed?”

“I’m a huge fat cow and a mother.”

The way she says it, like it’s so fucking obvious, makes me think she’s joking. She has to be joking.

“You’re joking, right?”

Her lips form a flat line and her jaw tightens. “Don’t patronize me. I’m not joking.”

“Honey…” My voice softens. If this is really her problem then my world just got a whole lot better—she’s not pissed at me, she doesn’t hate me—I can fix this. “I’m sorry that you feel that way, but I promise you it’s not true. Yeah, you’re a mother now but that’s not anything to feel bad about. You’re a mom and I’m a dad and we’re closer for it. As for the fat thing…yeah…” I laugh and reach over, grabbing her hand. “You are not fat. You’re not even close to being fat.”

She shakes her head. “I’m covered in stretch marks.”

“No…” I say.

“Yes, I am. You just don’t know because I keep the lights off. I make sure it’s always dark so you can’t see how gross I am.”

“You are
so
not gross. You are sexy as hell.”

She looks at her lap and is still twisting that ring as if her life depended on it. “I can’t fit into my old jeans, Jace. I’m fat.”

I sigh. “I wish you’d believe me. I’m not some prick liar here…if you were fat then I’d agree with you. But you’re hot as hell and I can’t believe you’re so upset about this.” I reach over and run my hand down her face, and this gets me the slightest smile from her. “I am dead serious babe. When I look at you all I see is perfection.”