The Girl in the Hard Hat (4 page)

‘I was young and stupid.’ Her mother couldn’t meet her eyes. Gazing out the window across the room from them she continued with a careless flick of her hand. ‘I was engaged to one man and had an affair with another. You know, I guess I wanted to get married but at the same time I had cold feet. And so I did something very, very silly.’ She finally turned to meet Wendy’s eyes. ‘The long and the short of it is, I got pregnant and both men dumped me, having by then found out about each other. So I had you, alone.’ Her face shrivelled up at that point and for a moment Wendy felt sorry for her. It probably would have been scary, to be a first-time mum cast adrift. But it wasn’t like it hadn’t happened to women before. Her mother seemed inclined to stop talking, so she quickly tried to bring her back on point.

‘My original birth certificate says the father is unknown.’

Her mother hunched a shoulder. ‘Well, I didn’t know which of my two lovers was the father, did I? And frankly, at that stage, I didn’t care to find out. Of course when you were a year old, Parry forgave me for cheating on him while we had been briefly engaged. He adopted you and we got married as we had always intended. That is exactly what happened.’

Wendy could feel her anger rising again. ‘That may be exactly what happened. But it explains nothing to me! Who was the other man? The man who could be my father?’

Her mother’s face seemed to close. ‘He is gone.’

‘
Gone where?
’

‘When he found out I was pregnant, he left.’ Mrs Hopkins snapped her fingers as though she were illustrating how fast he’d retreated. ‘I wouldn’t worry about him if I were you. Parry is your father. He loves you. He’s accepted you. He adopted you, for God’s sake. What extra proof do you need of his commitment?’

‘It’s not his commitment I question.’ Wendy stood up, unable to sit idle any longer. ‘It’s your honesty. Why didn’t you tell me he might not be my real father?’

‘You didn’t need to know.’

‘
Why not?
’

Her mother threw up her hands, glaring at her as though she were a spoiled brat. ‘How would you have benefited from knowing that you could have a father who existed but didn’t want anything to do with you? Parry is your father. We were married. Better to keep it simple.’

‘Better for who?’ Wendy shouted.

‘Don’t you take that tone with me. I could have given you up for adoption! In fact, I almost did. Be grateful that you got the upbringing you did.’

Wendy reeled, almost tipping backwards at her mother’s words. ‘So if you were that keen to get rid of me,’ she returned icily, ‘what made you change your mind?’

Her mother said nothing. Lifting her chin, the woman retreated behind that mask of English propriety.

Why did they send me away to boarding school?

Why did Daddy change after I turned six?

Why does he look at me with such sad eyes when he doesn’t think I notice?

The reason hit her like a blow to the chest. Winded, she sank onto the couch again. ‘Oh hell, you used me to get Parry back. You told him you knew for certain I was his, didn’t you? And he found out that I wasn’t later.’

It was logical really – young girl with a baby and no support from a family back in England. Reasonably wealthy young man with strong family values who owned his own business. If she could land him, it would be a nice move out of poverty and into the easy life.

‘Don’t judge me for what I did,’ her mother shot at her. ‘I did the only thing I could do at the time, for you and for me.’

‘You didn’t do it for me,’ Wendy choked out. ‘You used me to play your games. When did he find out I wasn’t his?’

Her mother looked away. ‘We tried to have more children but couldn’t. When you were around six years old, Parry had himself checked out. He discovered he couldn’t be a father.’

Wendy’s ears tingled. The timing made complete sense. ‘So that’s when he had me exiled to boarding school. Couldn’t stand the sight of me, could he?’

‘Oh, for goodness’ sake.’ Her mother dismissed her with a wave of her hand. ‘You make it all sound so sordid, when it was really nothing like that. It’s just the way of the world, darling. People sometimes do things to survive. You can’t live on love and fresh air, you know. Nobody does anything for nothing. Remember that.’

How could she forget it?

It was the first of the many fruitless arguments that had followed. Some with her mother, some with her adoptive father. Her parents seemed to raise more questions than they answered. When she tried to enquire after her biological father’s whereabouts, they said they didn’t know. When she asked about his origins, his personality, his relationship with her mother, they said they had forgotten all that information long ago. After he had disappeared, they’d both allowed him to fade from their memories.

Yeah right!

She didn’t trust them. Why should she, when they had lied to her most of her life?

She didn’t take the job in Port Hedland but instead stayed in Perth to resolve things with her family. It was becoming apparent that all of Parry’s relatives had known of her adoption. Her grandmother, her aunties, even some of her cousins. After all, Parry hadn’t married her mother Helen until after she was born. No one had seen fit to tell her, though – much easier to just keep her in the dark. She was furious.

Furious and betrayed.

She had expected her mother to act differently too. After all, she was supposed to love her, right? Surely she would understand how much pain this revelation had caused her daughter and at least try to ease some of it. It seemed inconceivable to her that her mother could just forget someone who had played such a significant role in her life.

‘You must be able to tell me
something
about him. You were his lover. You can’t ask me to believe that you remember nothing.’

Her mother had blushed deep red but words that seemed torn from her by force finally came out. ‘Your biological father was a free spirit. A drifter, who couldn’t stay in one place. He loved the outback and lived from one mine to the next. He worked in many towns as a welder. Even when he had that terrible accident on the Pilbara, he still wouldn’t give up his career.’

‘An accident?’

Her mother looked uncomfortable, like she’d said too much. But after a moment’s hesitation, she told Wendy the rest of the story anyway. ‘He lost a couple of toes on his right foot while working at a steel mill near Karratha. He dropped an angle grinder on it.’

Wendy’s eyes widened. ‘Ouch.’

‘You don’t see my point,’ her mother chastised her. ‘He was still willing to go back to work. But when it came to love, family and commitment . . .’ She snorted. ‘He didn’t want to be tied to me or, I’m afraid, to a possible son or daughter. You need to let it go. It was better that he left and I married someone else.’

‘But who was he? What was his name?’

Finally her mother gave her a first name and a vague physical description. It wasn’t much, but it was a start.

The start of a search.

Her parents were against the endeavour but Wendy couldn’t be satisfied with so vague a history. How many more shocks were there around the corner? She couldn’t relax. All she wanted now was the truth, so that her world could never again be ripped out from under her like it had that day on the phone.

So she put her whole life on hold.

For six months she’d searched for the drifter who was her father – driving from town to town in northern Australia. She was now more at home on the road than she was anywhere else.

But dark-haired Hector, the welder, with two toes missing on his right foot, a taste for red dust on his boots, and a bag on his back, seemed more like an Aussie myth than a miner with a daughter he’d never met.

The air conditioning in her car had long since died. So Wendy wound the windows down and cranked up a CD player, revelling in the freedom of the open road. The stark red space sported more shrubs than trees. Families of kangaroos bounced between them looking for food. It was nearly dusk and they were just starting to become more active. Some of the tension that had wound around her heart loosened as the Pilbara took over.

A couple of CDs later, she turned her car into her hotel car park and was surprised to see her uncle waiting for her there, leaning against the side of a Barnes Inc ute that needed a good wash. He was still in his uniform. Pale blue shirt. Navy pants.

She jumped out of her car. ‘Uncle Mike, what are you doing here?’

He looked decidedly cranky. But then Uncle Mike always looked cranky. He was shorter than her, bald and heading towards a pot belly. She reckoned that he must frown often with those lines etched so deeply into his forehead.

‘What
the hell
happened?’

‘W-what?’ she faltered.

He pushed off the side of his car and put his hands on his hips. ‘Dan Hullog was supposed to give you a job, so why on earth am I hearing rumours that a TCN spy is now working with us?’

She lifted her chin. ‘They’re not rumours. Dan didn’t have a job for me so he helped me get one at Barnes Inc.’

‘That wasn’t the deal,’ he ground out.

‘Well, then you shouldn’t play dirty.’ She glared at him and he had the grace to redden.

‘Told you about that, did he?’

‘I don’t appreciate being part of some scam you’re running.’

‘It’s not a scam,’ he retorted. ‘I want to help you.’

‘Then why didn’t you get me the job at Barnes Inc instead of some dodgy deal over at TCN?’

‘Well, for one thing, I didn’t know about it and for another, do you think I want to be accused of nepotism? You better not have told anyone that you’re my niece.’

The jab hurt, particularly because she’d told him a couple of weeks ago that she’d found out she wasn’t
really
his niece. She’d been hoping for a kind word, maybe a bit of information that she hadn’t already discovered. But he’d been as cold as the rest of the family, if not colder.

‘Don’t worry,’ she muttered sarcastically. ‘I’m not in the habit of lying.’

His eyes narrowed. ‘Just because my brother isn’t your real father doesn’t mean he doesn’t love you.’

She tossed her head. ‘I’ll be the judge of that.’

‘You’re right.’ He glared at her. ‘It’s none of my business. In fact, I wish you hadn’t told me. The last thing I need is a female with issues on my back.’

She gasped.

He spread his hands with callous indifference. ‘Being adopted is not a big deal. You should be grateful that you had a roof over your head and food on your plate.’

His complete and utter lack of sensitivity was like a slap in the face.

‘I can’t believe you just said that.’

‘Well, believe it.’ He nodded and turned as though he were about to get back into his vehicle. ‘I’ll see you when I see you.’

She decided to throw her own dart out there. ‘It’ll probably be at dinner tomorrow.’

He started. ‘W-what?’

‘I’ll be living in the camp.’

‘What for?’ he barked, spinning back with surprising speed.

She folded her arms crossly. ‘Well, I can’t live in this motel: it’s too expensive and also inconvenient. I don’t want to drive forty minutes every day to get to work by six am. I’d have to get up at four!’

‘So get a house in Wickham!’ he cried. ‘That town is five minutes from site.’

‘What’s wrong with the camp?’

‘It’s not safe.’

‘Why wouldn’t it be safe?’

‘There’s no women there.’

‘I was told there were five women there.’

‘Idiots, all of them,’ he retorted. ‘Don’t be a young fool.’

She gasped. ‘I’m nearly thirty. I think I can take care of myself.’

‘You look too much like your mother.’

She rolled her eyes. ‘Well, since I last checked being blonde isn’t a health hazard. Is it really that much of a problem for you to be seen with me? I mean, I’m sure we won’t come into contact that often.’

He grunted.

She stared at him.

He was the distant relative who had never been around. Not even at Christmas. She hadn’t thought that was his fault. His wife was a dragon and she’d had a theory it was Patricia who had prevented him from attending anything but weddings or funerals. But maybe not. Maybe Uncle Mike
was
the cold-hearted bastard everyone reported him to be.

So then why had he helped her? Why had he told her to go to Dan Hullog for a job?

He seemed to read her thoughts and sighed. ‘Look, it’s not that I have a problem with you or anything. I know Parry would have wanted me to help you. But you walked into the job wearing a TCN uniform. There’s enough gossip surrounding you already without dragging me into it.’

‘Relax,’ she responded cynically. ‘This sinking ship isn’t taking you down with it.’

His face hardened. ‘I think that remains to be seen.’ He opened the door of his vehicle. Just before he stepped in, however, he looked up at her.

‘There’s a female engineer called Lena Todd who lives in the camp and works for Barnes Inc. She’ll help you.’

‘What? Help the TCN spy?’ she snapped sarcastically.

‘Lena won’t care about that. Like I said, she’s an idiot. You’ll probably get on.’

She didn’t know whether to be grateful or affronted as he finally slid into his ute and sped away in a cloud of dust. She shook her head and turned around to enter her hotel room. The familiar smell of musty carpets and empty ashtrays assailed her nostrils.