The Girl in Green (15 page)

Benton does not interrupt her solitude. He studies the angles of the walls again instead. He measures their thickness by their colour, their temperature by their finish. They are clean, but remind him of too many collapsed buildings, too many twisted steel rods reaching from too many structures in so many cities, like stripped ribs open to the air, the people and families they once protected exposed, and everything vital open to the scavengers.

13

Arwood wakes, stretches his arms, and — to check his sobriety — keeps his eyes closed as he brings a cigarette to his lips with his left hand and lights it with a Zippo from his right. It is actually harder than standing by the side of the road and trying to touch your nose with your finger, because the Zippo can set your nose on fire, whereas the cop isn't allowed to.

The other nice thing about starting the day with a cigarette is that, whatever else happens later, at least the first move was yours.

It's going to be a good day. Arwood can feel it. Today is the day he's been dreaming about and anticipating for a long, long time. He always knew he'd be back here to finish his business. He'd known ever since his father kicked him out of the house after he got back from Desert Storm.

‘What the hell are you doing with yourself?' his father had said to Arwood, who, by late June 1991, had been back from the Gulf for a month. Arwood was deep into a new video game
called
Civilization.
It mainly involved taking over the world by destroying everyone else's. He played it in his boxer shorts and dog tags while chain smoking.

‘I'm trying to civilise the world, Dad, the old-fashioned way. Why, what are you doing?' he'd said in the blue light of the cathode ray.

His father had come with an agenda and a message, and was in no mood for Arwood's flippant attitude, which the US Army had — implicitly, if not contractually — promised to change when his son enlisted. Instead, they sent him back early, emotionally damaged, and even more obnoxious, because now he wasn't afraid of anything and had no respect for authority, including his father's.

‘It's time for you to get out and see the light of day, and maybe even look for work.
You're a man, for Christ's sake.'

‘I had a job, Dad. I was a soldier. I was paid for it,' Arwood said, not taking his eyes from the glowing monitor. ‘I was kicked out, but my need to conquer foreign lands is not yet sated. Ya see, all those little orange people, there to my north-east, are getting a little grabby with the mineral wealth in my sphere of influence, so I've decided to genocide their arses and let that be a lesson to all the other civilisations, especially the purple ones in the south. I don't like their attitude either, but maybe they'll learn to step down once they see the bloodbath I'm inflicting on their orange kinsmen. The thing about this game — and you only know it after you've played it for a really, really, really long time — is that I'm not sure the other civilisations are capable of learning what I'm trying to teach them. How fucked up would it be if I'm spending all this time killing people to send a message they are actually not capable of understanding, because they don't have those algorithms in their brains? I don't have it worked out, but I think I'm on to something.'

‘Watch your language.'

Arwood turns to his father for the first time.

‘Are you serious?'

‘You have three days to get your act together, and either get a job or get out. Your mother and I aren't carrying you. You were lazy in high school, so you joined the army. You did the minimum there by specialising in that damn gun rather than something that could have made use of the high IQ that God gave you. And then, when you actually did your service, you dishonoured yourself, your country, and your family. So, yeah, I'm serious.'

‘I did my job and then some.'

‘The US Army doesn't think so.'

‘They don't think at all.'

‘You fire that weapon at anybody?'

‘No.'

‘Then you didn't do a fuckin' thing.'

Arwood takes a pull on his cigarette, blows it out, has a languorous scratch where it feels best, and then sits up just in time to let the ash fall onto the sleeping bag rather than into his left eye.

Up, alert, and exfoliated, his only regret is that he's alone.

The reason he is alone with the cigarette this morning is that he couldn't find a girl to ride pillion last night. After Benton and Märta pulled away, Arwood started looking for company himself. No point in being single, surrounded by the mountains and dust, and not trying to get laid. The fact is, other than complaining and getting drunk, it's really the only sport in town.

He'd been working on a girl named Ann. They met at the cafeteria. Ann was in her late twenties and old enough, so his thinking went, to appreciate the value of an older man who wanted to make her intensely happy very briefly.

Sadly, Ann was a talker. And while he often liked loquacious women with strong opinions, it did in the end come down to what they said rather than how they said it, and what Ann said was annoying.

As best as he can figure it, the reason he woke alone to a cigarette was that the conversation had turned insipid, and Arwood has never been good at recovering from the dizziness caused by thin arguments.

Arwood liked to imagine logic as being like a taco shell. Sure, logic is fragile, but the shape is stable and supportive if you're delicate with it and use it correctly. What you can't do is ignore its structure, overstuffing the bottom and squeezing it from the top.

Ann worked for a non-governmental organisation called — no shit — Happy Planet®. She was a project officer. For almost twenty minutes last night, Arwood had tried to care. He tried to care about her master's degree in conflict resolution, and about her internship with the United Nations Volunteers, and how the UNV had helped her ‘almost' get a job with the UN, and how that failure had led her to Happy Planet®, where, presumably, she would make the planet happier, though Arwood wasn't sure the planet itself was unhappy. What he couldn't get past was how every statement she made about the world was in the form of a question, while everything that should have been a question was presented as a statement.

‘You see,' she'd explained to Arwood, who knew that feigning attention to her pet philosophies was the surest path to wearing her thighs as a hat, ‘I wrote my thesis on participatory action research? So I'm here to teach people how to transform conflict by empowering them through narrative, so they can better resolve conflict rather than revert to war? It's … well … I guess it falls under conflict transformation, technically, but I think that term is overstretched these days — it's been unpacked too much, if you see what I mean — and I'd rather go back to the more solid work in conflict resolution that takes more seriously the postmodern, post-Foucauldian, and postcolonial assumptions about the status of knowledge. Because, you know, we don't just want to transform conflict, we want to resolve it, but without imposing the solution or anything? I'm especially interested in this new school of thought in development studies, which says that the only solution to our misapplication of power in these instances — given the subaltern status of the participants — is to not even be there.'

He had wanted the sex. He really had. He had wanted to receive muffled feedback through a pillow as he massaged her milky-white arse and slapped it red. But he didn't want it
that much.
Arwood Hobbes was forty-five years old. Having started when he was sixteen, it meant he'd been having sex for almost thirty years. And while sex after thirty years is still totally great, it most often doesn't feel quite as good — not in the long run, not for the memories, not for the big smile — as setting someone straight. This is why he really had no choice but to tell Ann, sincerely and from the heart, that ‘technically speaking, war is a conflict-resolution mechanism'.

Ann split, and Arwood slept alone, but the Great Taco of Logic remained intact, and in a postmodern world that is no small thing.

Up, out, and ready for the day, Arwood doesn't knock on Märta's office door, and instead steps brightly into the prefab to see whether Benton is there yet. It's seven-thirty. He finds both Märta and Benton inside at the conference table.

Märta speaks first, and catches him off guard with a phrase no one's ever said to him before: ‘Oh good, you're here.' She continues, saying, ‘I'm taking you both to see Louise Ballan, who's the head of the International Committee of the Red Cross sub-delegation here. She's Swiss, from Nyon. Very bright. A little intense. Big hair. Try not to stare at it. We're going to see her. She knows a lot, and it never hurts to have a friend with a helicopter. And as for you,' Märta says, pointing to Arwood, ‘the only words you speak to Louise are “Good morning,” ‘Thank you,” and ‘Goodbye.”'

‘I want to be on the road by eight-fifteen,' Arwood says. He isn't smiling. ‘There's a timeline. We don't have time for lectures.'

Märta walks across the room to a pile of equipment on a folding table. She talks as her hands pick up Motorola headsets, and she starts placing batteries and checking the signals.

‘All my people,' she says, ‘are registered with the UN. They all have DSS call signs, VHF radios, timetables for radio checks, and maps showing where to call in when on the road. We're connected to the Dohuk radio room. You,' she says, handing a Motorola headset to Arwood, ‘are Romeo Charlie Niner Two, and you,' she says to Benton, ‘are Romeo Charlie Niner Three. Ahmed Haddad is the one on the radio. He's Egyptian, a little on the heavy side. He's well tapped in up here, and he's on the ball. He's young, and he eats too many potato chips, but don't let that throw you. I will let him know you're with us. I'm calling you' — turning to Arwood — ‘a consultant. And you,' she says to Benton, ‘are a visiting journalist, which happens to be true. You're in the system. Please use it. It'll keep you safe, and remember that your actions are a reflection on me and the International Refugee Support Group.'

Arwood watches Märta click the batteries into place. ‘Why don't you just use the charging bases for the walkie-talkies?' he asks.

‘Because Motorola batteries tend to overheat when you charge them inside the handsets rather than outside, which shortens their life cycles, and anyone who's worked in the field knows that. I know what I'm doing, Arwood, and you two don't. Here,' she says, handing a map to each of them. ‘These maps have all the roads in northern Iraq. We don't officially call this place Kurdistan, though everyone does. Each checkpoint is in blue. I'm logging your journey with DSS, and I'm putting a time estimate on it. Ahmed knows exactly how long it is supposed to take to get from one point to the next, and he stays in touch with local authorities, so he even knows if there's traffic. If you do not radio in your location within twenty minutes of each check, he'll call you. And if you don't answer, he'll call me, and then he'll notify the police and we'll have to come look for you. If you veer off your planned journey, you will force everyone to start looking for you, which would divert needed resources from any real emergency. So don't. Are we clear? What's your call sign, Arwood?'

‘OU812.'

‘Thomas?'

‘RC 92 and RC 93. We'll stick to the filed route and abide by procedures.'

‘Is it true,' Arwood asks, ‘that the French call these “talkie-walkies”, not “walkie-talkies”?'

‘Yes,' Märta says.

‘Isn't that being contrarian? I mean, “walk” and “talk” aren't even French words.'

‘The radio room,' Märta continues, ‘can be contacted on the handset and also by phone. Here's the number.' She points to the tops of the maps. ‘Right now, in front of me, you enter that number into your cell phones. Both of you. Then assign a speed dial to it.'

Arwood and Benton do as they're told, while Märta hands Benton an extra phone. ‘It isn't protocol, but please take this extra one. It's my personal phone and has an Iraqi SIM card. I charged it last night. I'll use the IRSG's phone. If you lose yours, or it's taken from you, you have a backup. Trust the system, trust Ahmed, and strap this phone to the inside of your leg.

‘Now, we need to meet Louise and Ahmed before you leave, so they can put a face to a name in case you two get into trouble.'

Benton follows behind Märta and Arwood as they drive through the camp and onto the road that takes them to Dohuk, where the ICRC sub-delegation has its office. Benton looks at the children who are barefoot, in flip-flops, or in Chinese knock-offs of Crocs. A two-year-old is screaming and wriggling in her mother's arms, and the woman has a vacant expression. She and Benton look at each other.

When Charlotte was two and a half, she became obsessed with hair clips. She needed to touch them, collect them, put them in the box, take them out of the box, lose them, find them, put them in her hair, take them out of her hair so she could see them, have them in and out of her hair at the same time so she could wear them, and see them and hold them at the same time, and she needed to sleep in them, but she couldn't sleep in them because they had sharp edges and could hurt, so she wasn't allowed to until, finally, he and Vanessa relented after a scream so angry, so long, and so high-pitched that the wavelengths were converted into light and she glowed with the hellfire of a thousand suns at the cosmic injustice of her parents' arbitrary authority, but alas, she couldn't sleep in peace because the sharp edges of the hair clips hurt her head.