The Girl He Needs (21 page)

“Never.” I take his face between my hands.

Our eyes search each other’s and I let out a slow, shaky breath. “I hope this is a short movie.”

“Maybe we should skip it.” He wags his brows slightly.

“Oh no. You really wanted to be here, so we’re staying. Now go get me the biggest bucket of popcorn they have
with
butter.” I slide my hands around his waist so I can slap his ass.

He laughs and hands me the voucher. “Go turn these into tickets and you better not choose a different movie. On second thought.” He snatches the vouchers from me and hands me some twenties. “I’ll go get the tickets and you go get the popcorn.”

It’s been years since I’ve gone to the movies, as I use Netflix for my instant gratification fixes. But sharing popcorn, our hands brushing as we reach in to grab the snack, is the sexiest turn on yet. The movie is a perfect distraction, enough action that I find myself grabbing Brinn’s arm occasionally. We leave holding hands, talking about some of the better scenes. In the elevator, alone, Brinn presses me against the sidewall and kisses me soundly, rendering me a brainless nitwit.

“Since we’re co-workers and all, here on business, I should probably let you off on your floor and go up to my room,” he says, his lips close to my ear.

“That’s such a bad idea,” I whisper. My hands tremble. I want to strip him of his clothes. I want him to take me here and now, quick and hard.

“The path between what’s right and what’s wrong is before me,” he says.

“It would be wrong to leave me alone in my room where something could happen to me. It would be right to make me feel comfortable. I really need you to make me feel comfortable.”

The elevator chimes my floor. We’re frozen, staring into each other’s eyes. Something’s passing between us that I don’t entirely understand, but I recognize losing this moment will change our lives and not for the better. Perhaps it’s the moment we’ll remember long after I’m gone. Yet I know this is the memory that will always leave me with the what-if questions. What if I stayed? What if we wanted the same things? What if he was the one for me?

The doors slide open.

Regardless of the consequences, I want this memory, this moment. I want to be that person who has a past rich with experience even if saying goodbye hurts.

I slide away from him, taking his hand in mine, and lead him to my room. There’re no words, just the heavily charged air between us and the burning need to be with him. I want to round out the night in his arms, feeling a part of something bigger than I have ever felt before, something I’ve only felt with him. He closes the door and latches the security bolt. I unzip the sundress I bought earlier and let it fall to the floor, wearing only my bra and panties. He sweeps me into his arms and carries me to the bed.

“I’d do just about anything for you,” he whispers before he removes my bra and takes one of my breasts into his mouth.

The satisfaction of his touch makes my soul bend with pleasure, my body arc. It’s not until he kisses me, his lips pressed tenderly to mine, that I ease his shirt off. With Brinn, I become centered and balanced. Yes, our sex is frenzied and needy but it’s more than that. It connects us in a way I’ve never experienced with another person. I kiss the spot over his left pec; his heart thumps steadily beneath my lips.

“You’re one of the best things about moving here,” I say, helping him slide his jeans off. My words are clearly an understatement. With all the feelings of failure regarding my brother, it’s my time with Brinn that gives me light.

“I want this to last. This moment.” He cups my face and kisses me across my jawline.

With his light touches and scattered kisses, the heat from his body pressed to mine. I’m desperate for more of him. To be joined together, entwined. The three seconds he uses to put on the condom feel endless, an infinite moment.

“Please,” I beg. “Please, Brinn, I need you to fill me.”

“I love it when you say my name.”

“Brinn,” I whisper and moan as the tip of his penis presses against me.

I lift my hips, hoping to coax him in, but he holds me back, his hands on my hips.

“Josie.” His voice is deep and raw. “I—”

“I know,” I say. “Together.”

He enters me as I slide my legs around his waist, tilting to let him bury himself deep inside me. He slides all the way in slowly and I break and shudder, crying out his name.

He moans my name.

“Closer.” I press hard against him, and we rock together, finding a rhythm that is ours, driven by our want for each other, our need, and powered by our feelings.

Together we ride the energy, climbing higher and higher until we climax again, this time as one, spreading wide and soaring into a state of bliss I never imagined existed only to collapse in exhaustion.

I wake up pressed to him, his arm over my shoulder, his face buried in my neck, and I bask in the warmth and security that comes with being wrapped in his arms.

The clock tells me that it’s the new day and we’ll be leaving soon. I ease away from him, planning a shower, but his hand snakes out and pulls me back into his arms.

“You know what would be good?” His voice is raspy with sleep and he yawns against my shoulder.

“I know a lot of things that are good. I showed you a few last night.”

“No, those are amazing. Awesome. Fan-fucking-tastic. Very bunny of you.”

We laugh and I rub my rear into his crotch.

“Babe,” he says and follows it with a groan. “We have to fly out in a few hours, and if you keep doing that I don’t think we’ll leave this bed today. At all.”

“Sounds heavenly.”

“Doesn’t it though.”

“Just a quickie?” I flip over and straddle him.

“Where do you get the energy?” He palms my boobs, thumbs teasing my nipples into hard points

“I suck it from your soul.” I drop my head back, letting myself get lost in the sensation.

“You make me breathless,” he says and slides his hand down my side, bringing it to rest between my legs, teasing me with soft strokes. I unravel, opening at the seams, letting myself free and bring him inside. We make it quick as I take the lead and ride him hard, hoping to satiate at least some part of me. We take our fill and collapse on the bed.

“I need food,” he says, his hand entwined with mine.

“Room service.”

“Why not? It’s on Mark’s ticket.”

I look at Brinn across the pillow, sun-kissed skin dark against the white linen of the sheets.

“What?” His eyes are amazing, green and clear, and I warm, knowing I’ve had a part in making him relaxed and happy.

“Will you think of me when I’m gone?”

Briefly, his thumb stops stroking my hand. “I’ll try not to because every time I do I get a boner and that’s awkward.”

I nudge him with my foot and he laughs.

“Of course I will.”

“So I should look you up whenever I’m back in town?” Suddenly the thought of never seeing him again makes me sad. I resist the urge to hide my face in the pillow.

He slides his hand from mine and rolls onto his back. “What do you want from life, Josie?”

I shrug one shoulder. “To experience it before I settle down. If I settle down.”

“Before. If. It’s not in your immediate future, settling down.”

It’s not really a question but I shake my head anyway. Words lost in my throat.

“But it’s in mine. I’d like to come home to someone. I’d like a family. Sooner rather than later. So if you come back into town six months from now, a year maybe, I don’t think it would be a good idea to look me up. It’s likely we’ll have different lives then—”

“And we can’t just pick up where we left off.” I finish for him.

He stares at the ceiling. “Do you think you’re still going?”

“Yeah,” I whisper before I slide from the bed. Without looking back, I close myself off in the bathroom and prepare the shower. When I go, there’ll be two bits of my heart I’ll leave behind, one for Will and the other for Brinn. Once under the shower stream, I convince myself that none of the water on my face is from tears.

I have every intention of escaping into a good book, letting go of my reality for a different one. With my legs over the rattan loveseat on my balcony and an iced tea at my ready, I no sooner slide my finger between the cover and first page when my phone chimes a text message.

I am totally giving Brinn a hard time if he is texting me already considering we just got back a few hours ago.

But it’s from Will.

In town. Want to meet up?

My heart clenches. I respond as fast as my fingers can press the screen. I have to. It’s why I’m still here. Mostly.

Love to! Without car. Come here?

When Brinn and I got back to town, we discovered my car wouldn’t start. So he dropped me off with promises to fix it tomorrow.

How about Chinese restaurant around the corner from your house?

Again, another pang of rejection. He continues to keep me at arm’s length. I try not to take it personally that he seems unwilling to come to my house, other than the first visit. I push it aside and text my answer.

I can be there in 15 minutes.

Great! Us too. CU there.

Us?

I hop off the loveseat and kick my tea over in the process. Righting the glass, I leave the mess for later. A quick glance in the mirror answers my question about being sufficiently presentable, my hair being my only obstacle. Forgoing a braid, I pull it into a high ponytail then check my makeup. I want him to know I’m not the complete train wreck he might think I am. Why else would he keep his distance?

I’m good to go.

After locking up the place, I borrow my landlord’s bike and set out for the restaurant. I arrive in exactly fifteen minutes and Will’s motorcycle is parked out front. A deep breath does nothing to steady my racing heart as I try not to set expectations for this visit, the brother whose counsel, even at my early age of ten, had been a guiding force. He was my Obi-Wan and there is no denying that after he left I succumbed to the dark side. A life designed by my parents, for my parents.

I lean against the stucco wall of the strip mall and give myself a stern lecture.

If Will has no interest in developing a new sibling relationship, I’ll be OK. I’m getting pretty good at going at life alone. Maybe I’
ll stay here and build a community of my own. I already have Jayne. And Brinn, maybe.

Once inside, the first person I see is Will. He’s sitting in a booth with a dark-haired girl. She’s petite and beautiful with a heart-shaped face and angled eyes. Her light brown skin is flawless. She wears her hair long like mine, bangle bracelets cover her arms, and Mehandi art decorates her hands. It explains why Will asked so many questions about my henna when we first reconnected.

She leans into my brother and his smile is quick and easy. I watch him say something in her ear then kiss a spot beside it. We’re all grown up, Will and I, and perhaps I expected our new, rebuilt relationship to be similar to our childhood one, which consisted of crazy face making contest and fart jokes. Huge error on my part.

Hesitantly, I move to the booth, not wanting to interrupt a beautiful moment between two people so clearly in love. It’s tiring being the outsider, especially with the one person who gets why I am the way I am because he grew up in the same house as me.

“Hi,” I say, hoping my expression’s light and friendly. It’s not that I’m feeling unfriendly, just unwanted, and I hate myself for being so damn needy.

“Jo.” Will slides out of the booth, a large smile on his face. “Thanks for meeting us on such short notice. This is Daanya. Babe, this is my sister, Josie.” He offers Daanya a hand, helping her from the booth. She takes my extended hand between both of hers, pressing lightly.

“It is wonderful to meet you. Will speaks of you often, and now I finally get to see you in person.” She kisses one cheek and then the other.

“It’s nice to meet you too.” I look at my brother, whose jaw is swinging back and forth. “He mentioned me?”

“So much that I am at an unfair advantage. I know far more about you than you me, I’m sure.” She squeezes my hand again before letting go. Effortlessly, she glides back into the booth. Will gestures for me to sit and I do, letting my shoulders relax a little.

I’ve spent years searching for the Will of my youth, the brother who might give me the answers to all my questions like he did when we were children. But that boy, and frankly, that girl, are gone and before me sits a new opportunity for not one but two new connections.

“I love your henna.” Her hands are covered in a beautiful design of vines and leaves.

“Thanks, I do it myself. I like yours as well.” She gestures to my arms.

“Didn’t I say you’d have a lot in common?” Will asks her as he places an arm around her shoulder.

She laughs softly and reaches behind her to squeeze his arm. “Yes, you did.”

“What brings you to town?” I slide a menu from behind the napkin dispenser and play with the edge.

“Daanya has three days off. She needs a break. Works too hard. We’re spending the night here and going to St. Augustine tomorrow.” Will rests his chin against her head and the swinging motion he does ceases.

“I’m a surgical resident at Shands.” Shands is the large hospital in Gainesville.

I blink in effort to mask my surprise. “Is that how you met?”

Daanya shakes her head slightly and glances at Will. “I’m from Jaipur. That’s where we met. I was home on vacation and he was living there.” She takes my brother’s hand, the one resting on her shoulder, and entwines it with hers.

I craft the pieces together. “That’s the first place you went, Jaipur? When you left?” The breathless fear I’d experienced when Will told me he was leaving to find himself a new life just hours after he was discharged from the hospital revisits me. Back then, I wasn’t sure what was wrong with the old one.

“Yeah, I went to the airport with all the money I could pull together and told the lady at the reservation desk to put me on the first international flight out for under twenty-five hundred dollars. Delhi was the winner. From there I migrated to Jaipur.”