Authors: Kim Dare
Charles nodded his permission.
Nicky retrieved the advent tree from the side table.
Charles picked up the last card he'd written.
"Do I know a Douglas Fairbank?" he asked.
Nicky steadied his grip on the little tree. "I went to school with him too."
"Have I ever met him?" Charles asked, setting the card aside.
Nicky shook his head.
"So when you said you wanted to sign the cards to our mutual acquaintances with my name, you meant all the cards you send?"
"I didn't think you would mind—" Nicky looked down. It was pointless to make excuses. "I'm sorry, master."
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Charles called him to his side. Nicky went, tree and all.
Charles touched his cheek. "I am not mad at you, pet. But I do wonder what strangers will think when they receive a card from a man they have never met."
Nicky opened his mouth, thought better of it and closed his mouth again. He re-thought his answer. "None of the cards have been posted yet. I'll correct them before they go out."
"And your first answer?"
Nicky flashed a glance up to his master, then quickly dropped his eyes. "Would have been spoken without due thought or respect," he said softly.
"I want the answer, Nicky. What would he think?"
"He would think I found someone," Nicky whispered.
Charles was silent for a few moments. He ran his finger tips over the piles of cards all sealed up and ready to be sent.
"Don't write any replacements."
Nicky stared regretfully at all the Christmas greetings that would never reach their destinations. He nodded. "May I know what my master wishes me to do with the cards?" An image popped into his head of the fire in the living room. It was all laid out ready for the match. The cards wouldn't last long on the blaze.
Setting down the tree, Nicky waited for the order, ready to gather up the cards to their fate.
"I'll defer to you regarding the traditions of the holiday, but I've always thought they were posted?"
Nicky hesitated. "I'm sorry, master. I put your name on nearly all of them."
"All apart from?"
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Nicky closed his eyes, wondering how much worse this conversation could get. "Those I sent to people you don't like."
Charles was quiet for what felt like a very a long time.
Nicky kept his gaze on the carpet.
"Separate out those you did not sign my name to. I'll see those before they are sent. The rest may go as they are."
"You don't mind—" Nicky trailed off. He didn't question his master's orders.
"You have found someone, Nicky. You are right to let people know you belong to someone now."
Nicky smiled. "Thank you, master."
Charles ruffled his hair. On the way out of the room, he stopped. "Are all of the cards signed in one of those two ways?"
Nicky shook his head. "There are variations."
"How many?"
Nicky rolled the cards he'd made out through his mind's eye. "Four, master."
"Bring an example of each signature with you when you come into the living room."
Charles closed the door behind him on the way out. Nicky breathed out. First putting the advent tree back on the side cabinet, he looked through the cards he hadn't written yet and made out an example of the four different ways he signed the cards.
Putting each one neatly with its envelope so he didn't lose track of which went with which card, Nicky went to the living room.
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Charles had changed out of his suit into jeans and a blue shirt and put a match to the fire. Nicky went to the cushion at his feet.
He still needed to steady his nerves before he went there without a specific invitation, especially when his master had no reason to be pleased with him. Charles stroked his hair.
Somehow he always knew when Nicky found it difficult to remember what Charles told him. "You are always welcome at my side, Nicky," Charles told him again.
Nicky nodded his understanding and offered his master the cards.
Charles took them. He read through each one in turn. "And by what criteria are people sent each one?"
Nicky craned his neck and pointed out each one. "If it goes to someone who understands our lifestyle, I sign you as my master. If it goes to anyone else, I sign your name first but make no mention of our specific relationship. If it goes to someone in my family, I sign myself as Nick without the y, because that's what they call me. If it goes to someone who I do not think you would wish to give a Merry Christmas to I just sign my own name."
Charles smiled at him and stroked his hair. "These are fine, but I'll see the list of those I don't like."
Nicky nodded.
"Now," Charles clarified when Nicky didn't move. "Take these back and bring me the list."
Nicky had already filled out the rest of those cards. He brought back the envelopes. Charles went through them, 52
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asking for more information when he couldn't place who the person was from their name and address. He set one aside.
"These are all acceptable," he handed the rest back to Nicky.
Nicky glanced at the one Charles took out of the pile.
Charles tapped the envelope on the arm of his chair, thinking about it very carefully. "Have you sent a card to this person before?"
Nicky glanced at the address. He shook his head.
"Tell me what you know about him?"
"He was at the business dinner you took me to last month."
"And?"
"You were caught in traffic. I arrived before you." Nicky looked down. "I don't always do well in such settings when I don't know anyone. Mr Parker saw I was uncomfortable. He spent far longer than he should have talking to me rather than the other businessmen. He was very kind to me."
Charles nodded decisively. "You will not send the card. If you meet Parker again you will excuse yourself immediately.
You will take every precaution to ensure you're never in a room alone with him. If you speak to him again you will inform me immediately."
Nicky quickly nodded. "Yes, master." The submissive's stillness deserted him. He fidgeted with the seam on his jeans, unsure exactly what he did wrong. He could sense the anger bubbling inside Charles. Nicky forced his breaths to stay slow and even. He pushed the panic down inside him.
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Charles made him look up. "Tell me what you are thinking."
"I..." Nicky didn't even know how to explain it. "I didn't mean anything by the card. It was just a thank you for being kind to me. But I know the deal you were working on with Mr Parker fell through. I thought if I put your name on the card it might look like you were trying to open some sort of line of communication and..." he trailed off. He had no business interfering in his master's business relationships. He shouldn't have interfered full stop.
Charles stroked Nicky's cheek with his thumb. "Nicky—the deal fell through because he wanted you to be part of it."
Nicky stared into his master's eyes for several seconds as what Charles meant sank in. He looked down, closing his eyes against the implications of his own actions.
Charles tucked his fingers under Nicky's chin, telling him to lift his head. Nicky tried to keep his face down. Charles persisted and Nicky couldn't bring himself to disobey his master for more than a few moments. He looked up.
Charles leaned back in his chair and tapped his knee.
Nicky hesitated, unsure he deserved to be welcomed into his master's arms. But the chance of reassurance was too much to resist. Nicky slipped up onto his master's knee.
Charles let him curl in close so he was wrapped completely in his master's strong embrace.
Nicky hid his face in his master's shoulder. Charles stroked his hair back and kissed his temple. "Hush now, there's no harm done, is there?"
Nicky wished he was so sure. "Master?"
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"Yes?"
"If I made out a list of the other cards, would you..." If Charles checked them over he'd be able to send them out without worrying.
"Of course."
Nicky was silent for a long time. There was one more issue to deal with. "Am I allowed to know what the punishment will be?" He couldn't make the words more than a whisper.
Charles seemed to think for a long time. The seconds passed by with him stroking Nicky's hair. "Tell me what he would have done to punish you."
Nicky froze, even his breaths stalling. He wasn't supposed to think about how his former master exercised his dominance over him. He belonged to Charles now. Nicky glanced up at his master, wondering how Charles knew what he'd been thinking about. "He would have reopened negotiations for the deal," Nicky whispered.
"And that is what you think I will do?"
Nicky shook his head. "My master wouldn't make me do that."
Charles looked into his eyes, judging the truth in his expression. Finally he found it and nodded his acceptance.
"What punishment do you think I would choose?"
Nicky thought about what caused all the problems to start with. "I would understand if my master thought the holiday was a bad influence on me and wished me to stop celebrating it."
"A little drastic, don't you think?" Charles stroked his hair back again.
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Nicky glanced up at him. "I screwed up," he said with a shrug, knowing Charles could punish him however he saw fit.
"You'll make the list out and I'll check through it. Each year from now on you will make a new list from scratch and I'll check it. If I find any name on the list I don't want you to send a card to, I'll cross it off and you'll write the list out from scratch again. Likewise if I decide to add a name in. You'll make out the list again and again until I am satisfied with it.
Only then will you have permission to begin writing your cards."
Nicky nodded, most of his attention caught by the bit about Charles adding names to the list. Charles hadn't told him to send a card to anyone before. Maybe he was getting more into the spirit of it than Nicky guessed. He offered Charles a small smile. Then he bit his lip.
"You don't approve of the punishment, pet?"
Nicky blushed. "If I like the idea it's not much of a punishment."
Charles chuckled. "If you still think so when you have written out the list a dozen or so times we will discuss the matter further."
Nicky leaned his head against his master's shoulder.
"Thank you, master."
Charles ran his fingers through his hair again.
Nicky glanced up, Charles frowned. "You left your tree behind."
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"I gave you permission to bring it with you," Charles reminded him.
Nicky shook his head. "It's not important." This was the important thing, his master holding him close and everything being well between them, everything else, Christmas and all, could disappear and everything important would still remain.
Charles stopped stroking his hair.
Nicky looked up at him.
"Fetch it."
Nicky knew the tone of voice. He went and fetched it.
Taking the tree back to his master's side he put it on the floor and knelt next to it. Charles tapped his knee. "Back up here. Bring your tree with you."
Nicky sat on his master's knee with the advent tree on his lap.
"A portable version to take with you if you visit a house that isn't decorated to your satisfaction?" Charles guessed.
Nicky smiled at the gentle teasing and shook his head. He adjusted one of the branches. "It's an advent tree."
"Like an advent calendar?"
Nicky nodded again.
"And you open one of the little packages each day?"
Another nod.
"You should have told me you wanted one, pet. It sounds more like an appropriate present from your master than something you should have to buy for yourself."
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"I um..." he offered the tree to his master.
Charles raised an eyebrow.
"I made it for you," Nicky rushed out. "I know it is silly, master, you don't have to do it or anything, I just thought..."
Charles seemed amused by the idea. He turned the tree around, examining it from each angle. Finding the little parcel with a tag reading 1st December, he unhooked it from the tree.
Nicky bit his lip, wondering if his master would think it all stupid.
Charles unwrapped the parcel. Nicky had decided it was best to start with a safe content and work his way up.
Inside the bright red paper was one of Charles's favourite chocolates. Charles's lips twitched into a smile. He broke the chocolate cream in half. Offering one up to Nicky's lips, he slipped it into his mouth before eating the other half himself.
Charles began to crumple the wrapper in his hand. Nicky put his hand on Charles's wrist. His mouth was full of the sticky cream and chocolate. He couldn't speak. Charles smiled at his predicament and looked at the content of his fist.
Unfolding the paper he found what was written on the inside.
Nicky finally managed to swallow down the chocolate. "It's all different things we haven't done but which I thought you might want to do at some point," he explained nervously.
"A massage," Charles said, separating the main idea from the several lines flowing script.
"I took a course a few years ago," Nicky explained.
Charles didn't say anything.
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"I passed," Nicky added, just in case that would make a difference.
"And is this voucher valid for just the first day of December?"
Nicky shook his head. "It's just sort of a way of saying if you want to at some point I can, or I don't mind or..."
Charles studied him carefully. "One a day?"