The Ghosting of Gods (11 page)

24
wicked leesel

Poe squats, rocking, in the doorway of a hut separated out from the others. When he catches sight of us, he holds out his arms, reminding me of Emmy reaching for me when she was scared of monsters.

I hug him, and he nearly won’t let go.

Ava rushes into the hut. “Oh, Leesel,” she cries. Over Poe’s shoulder, I see her scoop up Leesel, who protests and squirms to get away as Ava kisses all over her face. I let go of Poe and stumble into the hut, weak with relief that Leesel seems to be okay.

She’s wearing one of the covenist robes. It’s too big for her. Tied at her little waist with a rope, it balloons on her upper body and hangs well past her feet that kick in the air as she demands to be put down. Her kinky hair is tangled, sticking out in all directions.

She kicks Ava and gets herself dropped at last. She turns her back when I try to hug her and walks away from me, robe trailing behind her, to a table covered in books and papers. Ava hovers at her side, stroking her hair, and begins to braid as she speaks in soothing tones to Leesel, explaining how she’s been looking for her.

Something is very wrong here.

Poe looks nervous. He bumps me. “Are you okay? Ava Lily too?”

“Yeah,” I answer, my eyes glued to Leesel. “You too, Poe?”

“I was all better once the ghost got out of me. Thank Mother Mary! By the time we got to the village, I was just worried about you and Ava Lily. It was horrible…wasn’t it? I can’t believe I’ve been possessed by a ghost.” He sounds in awe.

I can’t talk about it. My attention is on Leesel.

Plopped on a short wooden stool with a straw seat and mumbling to herself, she flips pages in one of the battered books. She seems oblivious to Ava and the braiding. It’s like she doesn’t care that we’ve come for her.

This isn’t happening. But the psychiatrist said it was possible, that Leesel could slip away from everyone, even me and Ava.

“Why are you wearing that dress, Leesel?” Ava asks in a taut voice. “Where are your regular clothes?”

Leesel doesn’t answer, but instead bends closer over her work, her nose to the tip of the quill she scratches across parchment paper.

Poe pulls me outside the hut. “Listen, Jesse. Leesel’s talking crazy, like she’s been brainwashed or something. She ignores me like usual, but when her little friend comes in—Leesel calls her
Princess Hannah—they
talk about how you and Ava Lily are here, but Leesel isn’t even interested. She doesn’t care at all. It’s freaking me out. Her friend talks to me, tells me I have to leave soon, and get this…she says Leesel is used to it here now cause she’s been here for months, and when I said no, she explained how I’m just ignorant of variances in time when shifting to altered worlds. Can you believe Leesel’s been here that long? I do. So anyway, Leesel and this Princess Hannah talk and laugh about
math problems
. There’s some formula they want to solve, and they practice by
chanting numbers
. Leesel acts like all this is normal.”

Poe nervously rattles on as I look back in the hut where Ava continues to try to embrace Leesel. Leesel squirms, waves her off, as if Ava is a nuisance to her. Looking stunned and hurt, Ava at last backs away from her adopted daughter. I coax her outside the hut.

“What have they done to her?” Ava barks at Poe, like it’s his fault.

I don’t want Poe to repeat everything he’s just said to me, so I
answer before he can. “Ava, she’s been brainwashed or something. No, listen. We’re taking her, and she’ll be okay.” I turn to Poe. “The covenists are a ways out in the woods, in a hollow. This is our chance to get away. Do you think we’re being watched?”

“I don’t think so. They told me to stay here by Leesel’s hut, so I have. But…”

“But what?”

He waits as Ava goes back in the hut. She’s looking around, asking Leesel where her clothes are. Poe whispers. “Leesel doesn’t want to go. She might call for help.”

Not possible. Leesel has always loved me, always followed me around. She’ll come when I say to because I’m like her daddy. I don’t care what these witches have promised her. I say as much to Poe. But even as I do, I think maybe I’m wrong. I think Leesel is like me. She wants knowledge. Not the same kind as me, but she wants what she wants as badly as I do.

“Leesel, Honey?” Ava lifts Leesel’s chin to get her to look up. “We’re taking you home. You need a coat. Do you know where your coat is?”

“I can’t go home.”

Poe finds a heavy robe with a cowl, the kind George and Bethany wore. “Her coat’s not here, but she can wear this.”

“I’m not going anywhere,” Leesel says, stomping her foot. “It’s dangerous out there. Don’t be ridiculous. I have work to do. Of course, you may leave. It’s better if you do. You can’t contribute to our work—you’re not intelligent enough.”

I take the robe from Poe. “Put this on, Leesel,” I order. “We’ve got to go right now. It’ll be fun…like hide and seek.”

“I don’t want to leave with you, and I don’t have to.” Her gaze shifts, and she smiles.

In the doorway stands Elspeth. Something stirs inside me, and my impulse is to reach out to her, to ask her to help us get Leesel away.

Elspeth holds up a hand before I can speak, giving an almost imperceptible shake of her head. Her chest heaves as if she’s been running. Women appear behind her, push her aside.

Leesel returns to her work as they drag us away.

25
don’t think bad things about her

Elspeth summons us.

Morning sun brightens the village, but without any glare, due to the towering trees over the village. It’s soft light, tinged green. Footprints clutter the soft paths that lead in every direction. Covenists don’t wear shoes. How they can stand it when it’s so cold, I don’t know. My stomach grumbles. The aroma of food fills the air. I’m hungry. Fires burn everywhere, many of them with grates over the flames for iron pans where food sizzles.

Hannah, Leesel’s friend, leads us through the village.

“Elspeth’s the one they call a spiritual prodigy,” Poe quietly informs me. “But she’s not liked.”

Covenists stroll in clusters, carrying stacks of books, deep in serious conversation. “The ego is said to be a balancing force, but more emphasis should be placed on holiness,” one young woman says to another. “Also, it occurs to me that the
id
term describes the ghost. Short for
identity
. Humorous. But the author misses the falsity inherent in the concept.”

“Yet you’ve just proven that insights are present,” says her companion. “You must repress your prejudice of other-worldly literature and read on. Misunderstandings are a given with those less evolved, such as this Freud, but I am curious nonetheless. Speaking of identity—Elspeth.”

“I do not wish to speak of her.”

“Hmmm. The uncertainty of her ghost cannot be avoided. If only she had not been healed—”

The covenist sees us and promptly shuts her mouth.

A group of little girls holds hands and skips in a circle,
whirling under a tree. They’re chanting numbers in no particular order that I can tell. An old woman stands in the middle of the circle. She holds a stick and draws designs in the air, like a maestro conducting an orchestra.
“False equation,”
she suddenly shouts. The little girls fall to lie prone on the ground.

“Shameful,” a covenist calls from a nearby hut.

Giggling, the girls shout a string of numbers.

“Ah, so you do know the correct formula,” the woman says. “What clever girls.” She taps each of them on the behind with her stick. They jump up, clasp hands, and whirl once again, faster and faster, throwing back their heads, singing numbers.

Passing them, I look back and see a few women across the village staring after us. With dismay, they’re touching their hands to their chins. I hope Ava doesn’t notice.

Hannah leads us to the lab where I’d choked down the awful medicine. Elspeth waits there, her arm around Leesel. The hut is even hotter than the last time I was here. Countless small fires burn to heat pots of boiling liquids. I suspect this lab is where covenists develop drugs from plants. Bitter odors mix with sweet, giving me a headache right away.

Elspeth appears cool and comfortable while the rest of us gush sweat. I notice the scientist’s hair has been washed and combed and roped anew.

Ava rushes to Leesel, who goes wooden in her mother’s embrace. “You’re so pale, baby. You look so tired,” Ava says with concern.

Leesel looks up at Elspeth. “I’m bored. May I go back to work? Can Princess Hannah come with me?”

Poe takes Ava’s hand, his face full of sympathy, but she reaches for me. “Jesse?” she says, her voice breaking.

I know she wants me to make Leesel okay. I don’t know how. Stunned that Leesel has just treated Ava as if she doesn’t exist, I’m afraid. Afraid that we’ve lost Leesel, that these covenists have done permanent psychological damage to her.

Elspeth watches all of this and speaks up. “No, Leesel,
your mommy
is right. You’ve been working very hard. I’m so proud of you.” She brushes Leesel’s wild hair back from her face. “Shall we breakfast together?” Elspeth invites with a tilt of her head and an outstretched palm. “Hannah can come too.”

Leesel puts on a heavy robe. Like all the women here, Elspeth doesn’t bother with warm clothing, but, wearing the coarse sackish dress common to covenists, steps out into the cold morning air.

Onto spoons.

Hundreds of spoons litter the ground outside Elspeth’s lab hut. Thin and plain, they nevertheless appear to be made of pure silver. Only moments before they weren’t there, and I didn’t hear them being dumped out. Yet here I am, slipping on them as they chink together beneath my boots.

Bending to pick up a spoon, Elspeth holds it loosely in her fingers and casts her gaze around the village. Many covenists are nearby, but none of them seem to notice the spoons.

“Where did all these silver spoons come from?” Poe asks in awe.

Moving on, Elspeth speaks over her shoulder. “They are a warning. From across the sea. From…my sister.”

Poe nods. Frowns. “But how did they get here?”

“My sister is also talented. She manifested the spoons. Esme used to tease me for how I liked to suck on my spoon long after the last drop of soup was gone. Silver is known for its healing properties, so the message is clear. My sister believes I will soon be in need of healing.”

“Oh,” Poe responds. He walks faster to keep up with her. “What will you do? Aren’t you scared?”

“Perhaps a little.” She leads us to a long wooden table and covered in food: nuts, berries, and biscuits that are flat but smeared with what appears to be honey. A few covenists eat at the table, but they get up and leave upon sight of us.

Whatever. I don’t care. I’m starved.

“These are the best biscuits I’ve ever eaten,” Poe says with his mouth full.

Hannah places a thin stone plate on the grate over the fire, and cracks speckled eggs. My mouth waters as I watch her stir the yellow yolks.

Scrambled eggs.

Elspeth stokes the fire. The heat feels so good mixed with the cold morning air. Reminds me of camping, when I was younger. When Mom was still alive. When Emmy was still alive.

“I’m sympathetic to your plight,” Elspeth says as she sits so closely that I feel her breath on my neck. “Memento Mori is a dangerous world, and I’m sure you wish to go home. You may speak openly with me. You may trust me. I am always honest.” Carefully choosing a berry, she places it on her tongue and rolls it around in her mouth. “Can I expect the same truthfulness from you, Jesse?”

Poe speaks up. “Jesse’s not a liar.”

“I don’t doubt it.” She smiles at Poe, as if she appreciates his loyalty to a friend. The smile stays put as she turns to me, but her gaze is unnerving. “But you hide things, Jesse, do you not?”

It’s a weird remark. Elspeth patiently waits for my answer, eating berry after berry. The table is silent. I finish my biscuit and answer when ready. “Sometimes it’s necessary to hide things in order not to hurt people you love.”

Elspeth is pleased with this answer. “Ahh. Yes. Sometimes you must do bad things to discover the good that is needed. With all my heart, I agree.”

“That’s not what I said. You’re twisting my meaning.”

“Forgive me. Don’t be angry. We’re so alike.”

“How so?”

She places her hand, fingers small and elegant, over mine. “A vision was shared with me. One who seeks to destroy crystal, to break the chains ensconced therein, would come to Memento
Mori. It can’t be a coincidence, Jesse.
Like you
, I wish to remove my guilt.
Like you
, I want to save the ghost within.”

I feel the blood draining from my face. “How do you know about that?” I ask in a hoarse whisper.

She shrugs. “I know things. I can
do
things. But I need you. It’s why I helped you to find the coven village. Did you think silly Bethany could have drawn the map she gave to Ava?”

“What?”

“Do not fear what I have done. Possessing Bethany was necessary, and she is delightfully amenable to my presence. I often whisper words into her mind, and she obeys. Rarely have I found it necessary to take her over completely.” Elspeth smiles softly, touches her heart. “Whisper, whisper. I do enjoy sharing her body.”

I stop chewing. “Are you saying that you’re one of the witches who possesses people, who drives them insane?”

Ava recoils. “Oh my God.”

“That can’t be what she means,” Poe objects.

Elspeth frowns, and a shadow falls over her face. She squeezes my hand. “I see you misunderstand me.”

The one named Ruth, whose ghost came out of her body, is spying on Elspeth again. Or us. Partly hidden behind a tree, she pretends to be engaged with a book, but she’s watching. Watching and twisting her flaming red hair.

Ava stands. “It’s time we left. Leesel, finish your breakfast.”

“No, Ava,” Elspeth says, her tone kind. “You shall not abduct my Leesel. She is brilliant and very happy here. This is the perfect place for her. I admit I did not expect this, but now that I know her, I cannot allow her to be placed in harm’s way. She will stay in the village, safe.”

Ava grips the edge of the table so hard that her knuckles turn white. “Do you think I haven’t figured it out? I know. You’re the one who abducted Leesel. You’re behind all of this. You have some sort of special powers…”

“She does?” Poe interrupts. “What kind of powers? Not bad ones?”

“All the covenists are afraid of her!”

“Not all.” Ruth has abandoned her eavesdropping and now stands behind me. “Though there is reason to be concerned. Elspeth, the coven wishes to speak with you. Would you like your friends to come as well?”

Elspeth starts to answer, pauses, shakes her head.

Ruth cocks her head to the side. Her dark eyes glint. She smiles, and I sense a victory on her part. She pats Leesel on the head. “I hear you are as brilliant as any girl in the village. Reports of your progress come to me each day. Yet, I continue to await a visit from you. What is the reason for this?”

In her special way, Leesel ignores Ruth.

The covenist loses her smile and turns to Elspeth. “Have you possessed her? Driven her to lose touch with reality?”

“Of course not!”

“Oh, of course not.” Ruth studies me, her eyebrows pushed together, as if I perplex her in some way. “You are Jesse. Are you here to meet a spiritual prodigy? Do you crave forbidden fruit? Perhaps rather than keeping company with Elspeth, you should enter the forest. That way.”

Elspeth goes pale. Her dismay is evident. So is her anger.

Yet she says nothing.

“I don’t know what you mean,” I say to Ruth.

She doesn’t elaborate. “Elspeth, go now, your sisters are waiting,” she says instead.

At first I think Elspeth is going to refuse. She sits, blushing. Pushing the bowl of berries away, she leans close to me as she stands. “Don’t think bad things about me,” she whispers in my ear. “Please. I need someone to trust me.”

I watch until she’s gone.

Ruth watches too. Bending with her hands on her knees, she addresses Leesel. “I know you hear me. So hear me well. Your
behavior is purposeful and not a psychological defect. I have no tolerance for it, do you understand?”

Leesel’s spoon stops mid-air.

“Leesel, you will escort Jesse to the seer.”

Eyes blazing, Leesel faces Ruth. This stuns me. Therapists have utterly failed to be acknowledged by Leesel. I’ve never seen her persuaded to speak to someone she didn’t want to. “I will
not,”
Leesel emphatically states.

Ruth smirks. “Oh, but you will. Otherwise I must ask my sisters to teach you no more. We will take away your books and refuse to share our knowledge with you.”

Leesel appears stricken. She starts to cry.

Ruth nods, pleased.

“Leesel doesn’t want to go,” Ava protests. She wraps an arm around Leesel. “We’re leaving the village. All of us. Jesse?”

“Not yet,” I say. “I want to visit this seer.” Quickly, I squeeze Ava’s hand. “I’ll take care of Leesel. It’ll be nice to talk to her along the way. You can trust me with her.”

Ava appears confused, but she nods anyway, because she trusts me. I don’t know why.
I
don’t trust me. I don’t know why I blurted out a desire to see the seer. It was an impulse. The words just came out of me.

Poe doesn’t give in as easily as Ava. He protests. “Not a seer, Jesse,” he insists. “What would Priest say?”

I know what Priest would say, but I don’t care. The priests have left me empty. I need something else. Maybe a seer can give it to me. Maybe Elspeth. Is she truly a spiritual prodigy? Or is she insane? It’s clear that the coven considers her to be both these things.

I’m intrigued.

I don’t want to steal Leesel away. Not yet. Not until I steal spiritual knowledge first.

Hannah takes Ava and Poe by their hands and leads them away, back to our hut. I turn to Ruth. “What is this about?” I ask.

She grabs my arm. Her confident demeanor has cracked. She’s trembling. “Go. Find out why Elspeth wants you so badly.”