The Ghost and the Darkness Volume 1 (The Fallocaust Series Book 2) (81 page)

A numbness came to my body, flowing up my fingers before sweeping through my battered and bruised frame. When it found my head it coated it with a heavy shadow, and with that, I passed out again.

I woke up with Garrett’s familiar smell around me. The smell of his skyscraper apartment, on the highest level with the grass and flowers on the roof. A place where I had once felt safe and comfortable, a place I had spent with my fiancé.

My eyes blurred as I opened them and I realized as I tried to focus them that something had woken me up. Two voices I knew very well. One cold and calm; the other in absolute agony.

Though I still felt the cold hollowness inside of me, I was still human. I had never heard Garrett this upset before.

“Why would he want to go to the greywastes?” Garrett cried. I heard the tinkling sound of a glass. “He was so cold... he screamed at me not to touch him.”

Then Elish’s frozen tones, still a ribbon of tranquility, such an odd contrast against Garrett’s voice. “We have no idea what he went through in those sewers. I think you ask too much of him.”

“No, it wasn’t just that... he hates me. I saw it in his eyes.”

“I have seen worse hatred in Jade’s eyes and he loves me all the same,” Elish replied.

“Jade’s a chimera.”

“And Reno is a greywaster whose best friend is a chimera. Yes, he is a cheerful one but, brother, you are expecting too much from him. If he leapt into your arms and sobbed from happiness I would be more alarmed by that.”

“You don’t understand...” I could hear a fresh flow of tears take Garrett. His voice choked as he continued to speak. “I think he hates me.”

“The boy is traumatized. Trig died in his arms. Sid says he was raped and he was obviously terrorized and in a constant state of fear. Really, Garrett, get a hold of yourself. You are a chimera and you must start acting like it.”

“He hates me, Elish.”

“Give him time.” There was another pause. “I must take my leave; I have a meeting with Ares and Siris now. King Silas has granted you your several weeks off. Apollo is more than happy to take over your duties.”

“I really love him, Elish.” Garrett’s voice broke again and I heard a sniff.

I stared at the muted TV, Elish and Garrett behind me where Garrett’s bar was. His words reached my heart but I was too confused to know what to make of them. The Reno I was when I came here would have held him and loved him but... I just...

I don’t know. I don’t know anything. My friends were supposed to tell me how to feel about things, I didn’t know what I was doing. I just knew I was cold, tired. I just knew I felt uncomfortable in this place.

No, I felt uncomfortable in my own skin. I felt uncomfortable with my life. And the life that I was okay with didn’t exist anymore. It was gone and... and this was where I ended up.

I didn’t hear Elish’s reply, only the door closing and Garrett sniffing behind the bar.

My own eyes burned and like the chimera hearing that I had come to rely on so often with Reaver, Garrett heard.

“Lu... Reno?” Garrett whispered. He kneeled down in front of me and gave me a small smile. “Do... you want me to leave you alone?”

“No,” I whispered. I winced as I tried to sit up. Garrett set his glass of brown liquor on the table and helped me sit up on the couch. “I’m sorry about earlier... I –”

“No, no, don’t apologize. I know this is a lot on your poor little mind.”

I gave him a weak smile. “It’s not little, asshole.”

My fiancé stared at me for a moment, before with another whimper he started to choke up. I made a sympathetic noise and pulled his hand. He sat beside me and when he put an arm on my shoulder and drew me in I didn’t protest.

“I’m sorry, we will find all of them, I promise. You will have front row seats to me personally killing the remaining ones in Stadium. This will never happen again, that I will promise.” I felt him kiss my forehead. “Oh, my Reno. I will spend the rest of my life making this up to you. I’ll buy you whatever you want; we will do whatever you like.”

I sighed, hearing more behind those words than I wished I had heard. My fiancé thinks that gifts and vacations will make me happy. When really all I wanted was my life back in Aras.

With Reaver, with Tinky...

Reaver would’ve come and got me. Reaver would’ve found a way to get me out of that sewer, like Ares had found Trig.

My eyes burned.

I wanted to go home.

Garrett brushed my now silver and black hair and tucked it behind my ears. “I was so worried about you. What a smart boy you were for using that Morse code. I will never forgive myself for not seeing it. None of us did. We will make our own codes from now on. Though, of course, this will never happen again.” He kissed my forehead. “My brave little Reno.”

He’s speaking to me like I’ve heard Reaver talk to Killian. I was his Killian and he was my Reaver. But Reaver would’ve...

I pushed the thoughts from my mind. It wasn’t doing me any good. I had to be present, where I was now. No matter how much my mind was in the greywastes.

Garrett brought my hand up to his lips and kissed it. “I bought you all your favourite drugs, amor meus, and I shall purchase you a pet, and we will buy twice as many games as Elish has purchased for Jade. We will –”

“Why do you think that buying me shit will make all of this better?” I said to him in a dead voice.

My fiancé paused, his mouth open, ready to promise me the world. He closed it and looked at me with those emotional green eyes. “I, ah... well, I just want to make you happy.”

“I lived off of half-rancid meat and two hundred-year-old candy for twenty-two years, Garrett. Material shit doesn’t make me happy. I don’t care about that stuff so stop... stop assuming you can buy me presents to make this okay. This isn’t okay.”

“What isn’t okay? Tell me.” Garrett rubbed my hands in his but all I could do was shake my head. I didn’t want to break his heart; I didn’t want to be an asshole to him. I just... I don’t know.

“Would you like to speak to Elish? You know he is our councillor and he also acts as our therapist too since Mantis took his leave. He may be able to help you... with what you have gone through. I can be there for support if you wish or you can go alone.” His voice was so supportive. I felt my lips press and my head nod. Maybe that was what I needed.

“Is there anyone besides Elish? He’s a bit of a dick.”

Garrett laughed at that comment and I felt his lips press against my cheek. “Oh, lovely boy, I know Elish is cold but he is very intelligent and he will listen to you. We will bother him once he returns. He’s going to Kreig soon to fetch Jade and the information he sent your friends to find.”

My head rose from Garrett’s shoulder. “What then? Did he say? Is he going to take Reaver and Killian back to the apartments?” Could I see them?

Garrett nodded with a smile. “Yes, that’s what he says. Apparently our dark chimera murdered Tim Dekker, Kessler and Tiberius’s chimera son. They had to flee Kreig because Jack, well, I told you Jack’s job. They had to run to a town on the outskirts and Elish lost contact. He’s gathering that once Kessler and Jack left that they took shelter back in the labs or several surrounding towns. Either way, Jade’s tracker will alert Elish as to where. Once they’re in the greyrifts I would love for my little Otter to see them.”

See them... I wanted to be
with them
...

Garrett continued. “Once you’re healed we will both visit them. I met Reaver for a –”

“You saw Reaver?” My mouth dropped open; a shot of adrenaline went through me.

Suddenly I started to feel almost alive again. Just the mention of my friend seemed to bring the colours back into my memories. I hadn’t seen Reaver alive since the deacon ripped his throat out. The last I saw of Killian he was being dropped off in the greyrifts apartment. Everything back then was so chaotic, so grisly. “How is he? How’s Killian?”

My fiancé smiled at me, he leaned over and handed me a small baggy. I think it was opiate powder. Well, at least he knew what I liked. “They were just as anxious to know how you were doing. Reaver a little less polite about it of course.”

Of course.

“They looked well, both of them. They were more worried about you; they knew you had been kidnapped. They are fine, lutra, do not worry about them. Just concentrate on your own recovery.” He gave me a metal sniffer. “There, this will help your heart. It is about to hammer out of your chest.”

I wanted to see them. I wanted to see Reaver and Killian. They were the ones who needed to be worried about... not me.

Well, maybe me a bit. I sighed and closed my eyes for a moment, before picking up the sniffer and sticking it right into the bag. I inhaled some powder into each nostril and rubbed my nose.

Garrett put his arms around me and rested his head against the side of mine. I heard him give out a long, drawn-out sigh before he kissed my ear.

“I love you... so much do I love you.”

Will you love me when I tell you I killed Trig? Or when I tell you that I might not be coming home with you when I am finally reunited with Reaver and Killian? Will you love me if this vision for us that you had been imagining for years, turns out to not be all you had thought it would be?

“I know,” I said instead, and accepted another kiss to my ear. I may not know what the future brought, but I did know what I felt in my heart. “I love you, Garrett.”

Chapter 30

Reaver

Nero had a cigarette in his mouth when they pulled me off of the plane. I was chained, shackled and gagged. They had to do all of these things because every bit of freedom they gave my body I exploited. I twisted, writhed, snapped, and yelled when they took me out of the military base. I even took up to screaming at the top of my lungs in a fleeting hope that a chimera might hear me.

A chimera so they could tell Elish they had captured me. So that fucker could get his blond ass down to this fucking mansion and take me back to where I belonged. Unless Theo said something that stupid fuck wouldn’t even know I was down here.

The brute chimera’s face split into a grin when he saw me; his teeth a vice against the shredded filter of the cigarette. He looked pleased with himself.

Kessler pushed me out of the plane. I stumbled and because my legs were shackled, I fell onto the greywaste ground. A large mansion in front of me, surrounded by fence and barbed wire.

I inhaled a sharp breath and smelled the damp dirt. It must’ve rained recently; I could smell the rain on the dirt and the parking lot in front of me.

I missed that smell.

“There you go. Do whatever the fuck you want to him. Just make sure you wipe that fucking smirk off of his face.” I felt Kessler put his cigarette out on my shoulder, but I didn’t flinch. “I want to know where Perish is.”

“I want that little blond twink too,” I heard Nero say.

I saw the cigarette fall to the ground, it bounced once; smoke still trailing from its crushed body.

“Clig says that’s not Killian, we don’t know who he is and he’s a mute. He ain’t talking,” Kessler replied.

Shit... Nero might have forgotten what Killian looked like but Caligula hadn’t. He was right there for the prisoner switch; he had seen Killian plain as day.

“Well, kill him and fucking find me the blond shit. I want both of them!” Nero grabbed me by the chains around my neck and pulled me to my feet. I growled but remained still.

“No, I don’t care where he stashed Killian, I just want Perish. Soften him up for me, I’ll be back for him in two weeks,” Kessler said. I heard the scraping of boots and with no more exchanges the sliding door of the Falconer closed.

There was a low chuckle behind me, then Nero rattled my neck as we both watched the Falconer take off into the steely-grey sky. “There he goes, the only other man who knows you’re here. You’re mine now, hunny-bunny. You’re all fucking mine.”

Suddenly I heard the sound of a taser, that ear itching electrical snap. I clenched my teeth and braced myself for it.

My whole body tensed and my legs froze in place. I stumbled as my body got thrown out of whack and found myself back to smelling pavement.

Then half-lucid darkness, spasming muscles, and jolt after jolt of pain. My body was being dragged across the ground, until I hit pavement, followed by carpet, and then finally: a bedroom.

Back and forth. Back and forth. Back and forth.

I was shredding my wrists, they stung and I encouraged every chafe, every throbbing wave of pain. They could cause me as much discomfort in the world; I would welcome every painful percussion that the synapses in my brain decided to grant me.

Back and forth. One twist, two twist... red twist, blue twist.

I was naked, completely naked and chained to a bed. The bed frame was iron rung which held my cuffs, a single pair which were on a thick chain that looped behind me. I could move my cuffs back and forth. The sound was like a saw slowly going through a tree. Back and forth, back and forth, and one twist, two twist.