The Gandalara Cycle I (59 page)

It turned out that I was wrong about Thymas was thinking.

'That's why Gharlas called you 'double-minded': “he cried.”Is that why you could break -? . . . Oh."

I didn't say anything while he mulled it over all his thoughts turned inward. When his eyes refocused, he said: "All right. You've convinced me. Now, what proof will you accept that I'll follow orders?"

"All I need is your word, Thymas, freely given...”

I was on the slope below the workshop, walking hack from the bath-house, when the sudden Gandalaran night overtook me. Although no starlight could penetrate the cloud cover, the diffused moonlight gave a ghostly glow to the large features around me - the road, the fields, the outlines of the workshops. A brighter patch of light marked the upstairs window of Volitar's old living quarters, and I aimed my steps in that direction.

As I neared the downhill entrance of the house, I heard the sound of Tarani's humming, and I was able to separate her from the other dark shapes. Ronar was stretched out on the ground, lying on his side. Tarani was kneeling behind him, touching the ugly, infected gash on the hack of his neck with one hand. Her other hand was stroking his head slowly, smoothing the fur between his tapered ears.

While I stood there watching, the cat's labored breathing slowed and softened; his limbs moved slightly as the muscles relaxed into Tarani's hypnotic sleep.

I could resist or accept Tarani's powers. This one I had accepted, benefited from, and enjoyed. It had become harder to resist, and right then I had to shake my head to keep from falling under the spell of her rich, compelling voice.

When Tarani had finished, she stood up and came over to me. She touched my arm and led me away from the house our voices wouldn't disturb the sleeping cat.

"It would be hypocritical of me, now," she said, "to question your decision, Rikardon. But I am concerned for Ronar and Thymas. You must know that they really aren't ready to travel."

"Tell me something," I said. "Was it easier to put Thymas and Ronar to sleep tonight?"

"Yes," she answered, after thinking about it for a minute. "Yes, it was."

"Staying here was tearing Thymas apart inside, Tarani. He wanted us to get going, but didn't want to be left behind. His sense of duty was in conflict with his desires. And that was another source of guilt for him.

"Sitting still is hard for a man like Thymas. That inner turmoil had to be interfering with your healing. Now that he knows we're all going to
do
something – and now that he and I know where we stand - he'll mend faster.

She laughed and shook her head as she took two quick steps forward. The window's light cast a golden sham on her fine-boned, pale face as she turned toward me.

“Why is it, Rikardon." she said "that I have the mind-gift, yet you read people more clearly than I?"

She was not speaking of telepathy. She meant what Ricardo would call intuition or empathy what Markasset would define as a strong link with the All-Mind: an ability to compare an individual's actions and attitudes to a wide spectrum of experiences, and to define his motivation.

If Markasset had such a link, it was entirely subconscious in Rikardon. But Ricardo hadn't lived for sixty years without learning something about people. Gandalarans weren't human, physically - their bock and facial construction differed slightly from
Homo sapiens
- but their mental and emotional patterns were very human.

"Perhaps it's because I'm older, Tarani."

"You're referring to your . . . other lifetime?"

"Yes."

"What was it like?"

I shrugged. "Ordinary." I felt the usual twinge at the deception: I let her assume that we shared the same heritage. "I was something of a scholar, something of a fighter."

I was grateful that she didn't pursue her curiosity. She merely nodded. "I expect it was the second one that lets you see what Thymas is feeling."

“I. . . can appreciate something else he feels," I said.
What the hell am I doing?
I asked myself.

“The sha'um," I stammered lamely, and too late.

"Don't back away from it, Rikardon," she said quietly. "You and I - we need to 'know where we stand', too."

She was right, of course. And in the lamplight - in any light - she was beautiful. Even Ricardo would have appreciated Tarani's slim, dancer's body, and the high-cheekboned face. She shared the patrician looks of the Lords of Eddarta, which were closer to human facial features. The wide tusks that took the place of canine teeth were there, still, but the supraorbital ridge was less pronounced, the face more narrow. Her unusual dark head fur and the glow of power in her eyes set off her striking appearance - even now, with refracted candlelight wavering across her face.

"Before I walked into Thymas's life, he had everything, Tarani. The respect of the Riders, a guarantee of the future he had aimed for all his life, a woman he hoped to marry. I'm not responsible for the upheaval he has lived through in these past weeks, but I am associated with it.

"He and I made a start, this afternoon, toward - well, not friendship. Call it noncompetition. If I were to . . . say certain things to you right now, that balance would be destroyed."

Her back stiffened. "You seem to know so well what Thymas feels," she said. "Assuming that I am no more than a prize for a footrace, does he think he can still compete for me?"

"You know I didn't mean it that way. Thymas has an abundance of pride. I think he's accepted the fact that the woman he loved was only one dimension of the complex Tarani he's getting to know now. But he knows - more importantly, you and I know - that, within the limits of the personality you showed him, you really did love Thymas.

"Maybe you still do.”

"Yes," she admitted, and her stiff posture relaxed. "At least, I still care for him insofar that I would not wish him any further hurt. I do see your point. It is one thing that I have turned away from him. It would be quite another if I turned to you. It would disturb him and disrupt the healing process."

"And we need Thymas healthy when we meet Gharlas," I agreed.

She shook her head. "Your concern goes deeper than that, she said.”I can read that much, at least. In spite of all the trouble he has been to you, in your own way, you care for Thymas, too."

"I said we have ridden together. You know Thymas and the Sharith."

"A bond of loyalty," she said. Abruptly, she took a couple of paces, and then came back.

"I confess that I feel drawn to you, Rikardon. It may be no more than curiosity. It may be a kinship created by what we are trying to do. It may be gratitude for your compassion toward Thymas, and Volitar. Whatever is causing it. The attraction is there, and it is better that we recognize and control it.

"I think you and I must 'stand' apart. For now”

She walked away, leaving me feeling uncertain as to whether something had been settled . . . or begun

The next morning, Tarani and I walked downhill to the market area of the city, and bought the few supplies we thought we would need. We were still Molik's guests, though the coins Tarani had grabbed out of his lockbox after Thymas had killed the roguelord were dwindling fast. I had been wishing that we could buy some extra clothes to take along but it looked as though we couldn't quite afford it.

Tarani was holding the parcels which contained bread and dried meat. When she saw me counting, she said: “You are welcome to use Volitar's money."

I pulled the drawstrings of the pouch and tucked it into my belt. Then I picked up my parcels - fruit and the roast fowl we would eat on the first night - and led her away from the market stall.

“Thank you, Tarani," I said. "but I don't think that's wise Why didn't your uncle -“

"My
father,
” she corrected me with sudden sharpness

"Why didn't Volitar spend them?"' I asked after a second or two. “You said yourself, he never lived more than comfortably.-

"They are Eddartan coins," she said. "Perhaps they were a memento of ...”

Her voice trailed off and I knew she was thinking about the mother she had never met. It was a romantic notion that Volitar had kept that wealth secret in memory of Zefra. It seemed to be a romantic story, what we knew of it. I knew Tarani believed she would meet her mother in Eddarta. I hoped for Tarani's sake, that such a meeting would live up to her expectations.

"Volitar showed his love for Zefra in much more concrete ways, Tarani. I think he held on to those coins because spending them would he dangerous.”

"But I have seen many Eddartan coins in Dyskornis. Rikardon. "

“Gold twenty-
dozak
pieces? Bearing Pylomel's likeness?" I asked.

"I haven't seen many of the gold pieces, but . . . no, now that I think of it; I don't think I've ever seen coins like the ones we found with Zefra's letter. Do you think Volitar was afraid he could be traced here, if he spent the coins?"

I nodded.

"Then what shall
we
do with them?"

"Take them with us."

We were still in the marketplace, and just then I spotted a stall with leather goods and tanned, uncut skins.

"Here, hold these a minute," I said, and walked over to the leather dealer, who was seated under an awning supported by thin poles. On the ground around him were his wares. The worked goods - boots, belts, baldrics, vlek harnesses - were displayed on colored cloths. The skins taken from
glith
, the deer-size food animal - were laid out in long lines, overlapped slightly so that a portion of each skin was visible. I walked around, bending over to look at the skins. When I found what I wanted, I sat down.

The dealer, who hadn't said a word (although he'd kept a wary eye on me), suddenly came to life.

"Yes, sir, how may I serve you this morning?"

I touched the glith skin I'd selected, asked him the price, and we started haggling.

"Sorry I took so long," I said when I got back to Tarani with my new purchase. I took some of the bundles back, and we started walking northward, heading back to Volitar's shop. Tarani took the skin, which the dealer had rolled and tied, and looked it over sceptically.

“This is ugly,” she said finally “Thin and discolored - surely you could have afforded a better one. What are you going to do with it?”

At the moment. we were moving through the shopping crowd. “That's going to give me something to do along the way.” I said “Let's hurry, shall we? If we don't get back soon, Thymas is liable to leave without us.”

She laughed at that, and I took pleasure in the sound of her laughter.

But I hadn't been far wrong. Thymas was waiting, with Ronar, at the downhill entrance to the living quarters attached to Volitar's shop. He had our saddlebags and backpacks laid out on the ground, open and ready for packing.

“Half the day is gone," he complained reaching for the food parcels. “Is this all we're taking?"

“Put the food in the backpack. Thymas you can put this -” I handed him the leather. “- in your bags with the cargo net. Tarani, if you don’t mind, may we take some of Volitar's clothes along? And will you bring down the things in Volitar’s chest

She paused at the door. "All them?"

"Yes, the duplicate Ra'ira, too. Gharlas wanted it badly enough to kill Volitar for it. That makes it valuable to us.” When she had gone in, I turned to Thymas

“How are you doing - and tell me the truth."

He started to say something, stopped, and began again. “I still have some pain” he admitted

Probably hurt you more to say that, than your side hurts you
. I thought.

"Ronar will be suffering for a while, yet, too. To start out, Keeshah will carry Tarani and me, and the heavy supplies. You and Ronar can have both sets of sidebags, with the lighter stuff in them. We have three days of supplies bete, and were going to take all that time to get to the nearest town - Krasa. I think it is. Well restock there. Well stop when I say so. Agreed?"

"I've already agreed," he snapped. "How long before well reach Eddarta?"

“I figure it at around eighteen days - we should he a full seven-day ahead of Gharlas."

"And what then?" he demanded.

"I don't know yet," I said. "We have eighteen days to think about it. The more we rest, at the beginning, the greater our strength will be when we get there.”

Thymas concentrated on his packing for a few seconds, then sat back and rubbed his hands across his trousers m a rare display of nervousness. But his voice was steady as he said: "A second rider is a strain for a sha’um during a long trip. When Ronar is feeling stronger, Tarani can ride with me half the time." He paused. “If she wants to” He paused again “
Will
she want to?"

Tarani came out, carrying Volitar's chest in her hands, several tunics and trousers over one arm.

"Ask her, when the time comes," I said. "Now, let's get packed and on our way."

The map showed Krasa to be a little over six man-days - I figured a man-day to be around thirty miles - away from Dyskornis. In good health and at top speed, a sha'um could cover the same distance in a third of a man's walking time, but I had meant what I said to Thymas. We took it easy, rising after dawn, camping well before night and taking long rests for the midday meal. Tarani put Thymas and Ronar to sleep each night; Tarani, Keeshah, and I shared the watch.

I might have relied on Keeshah’s more efficient senses to alert us to any danger, but I felt more comfortable with a self-involved security plan.

You might say I was feeling paranoid.

Thanks to our noisy encounter with Gharlas and the greedy thief who had tried to kill me, the entire rogueworld of Dyskornis knew who I was. Worfit's reward for my death, and the acquisition of Serkajon's steel sword, were strong incentives for someone to follow us.

I was looking for danger up ahead, too. I believed we were doing the right thing, or we wouldn't be doing it. But the possibility that Gharlas
knew
what we were doing was a constant worry, no matter how often I told myself that worrying wouldn't solve anything.