The Gandalara Cycle I (43 page)

I really hate it that the warm touch of her hands on my skin was really the touch of death. One thing is clear. If I wouldn't let Dharak judge Thymas - or tried not to let him - because he was too personally invoked, I'd better let him judge Tarani because I'm the one who can't think straight in this case.

She disturbs me.

I was still far from calm, but I wandered back toward camp. Thymas had brought out our supplies, and he and Tarani were sitting far apart, eating breakfast in an awkward, angry silence. I sat down and ate a piece of fruit and a chunk of bread, washing it down with water from one of the waterskins.

The bird showed up, and settled down on Tarani's ankle after she finished eating. Lonna was about the size of a large falcon, with the downward-hooked beak of a hawk. She made a soft, hollow sound of pleasure as Tarani stroked her back and the tips of her wings.

When I was nearly through with my meal, Tarani literally threw the bird away, casting it up into the air to let it spread its enormous wings and settle on a high branch. Tarani came to stand in front of me.

"I want to go back to Chizan, Captain. After I settle with Molik, and get Volitar out of danger, I will return to Thagorn to be judged for what I have done. You have my promise."

It was on my tongue to tell her what I thought her promise was worth, but somehow I couldn't say it.

"You failed your assignment. How can you save your uncle now?"

"It was one of the terms that Volitar would be released, no matter what the outcome."

"What if Molik refuses?" I asked.

"He is a businessman; he keeps his bargains," she said. Her fists clenched. "But if he refuses . . . I have learned, again, how to compel."

"Why didn't you just do that in the first place?"

One hand started beating her thigh; she didn't seem to be aware of the action. "Volitar would not have wished it," she said. "As long as I can remember, he has told me that every person deserves a measure of respect, and a fair chance to make his way in the world. He called my skills a special advantage, and said I had a special obligation to respect other people. It took me a long time to convince him that my entertainment illusions were harmless.

"No, he would not have wanted that kind of help, not even to save his life. He still won't want it, and I don't want to do it. That kind of control is a violation of those used, and a degradation of the user," she declared. "I would not have done it in Thagorn, if it hadn't been so important to misdirect you. But if there is no other way to free Volitar....

"May I go to Chizan?"

I stood up. "Dharak was the one hurt; he will be the one to judge. We'll go back to Thagorn."

Thymas had listened to all this in silence, and now he spoke up from his side of the clearing. "Let her go to Chizan first," he said. "I will go with her, to make sure she comes back to Thagorn when her business is finished."

"No!" Tarani said. "Captain, I must go alone, or Volitar will die - because of me!"

"Not because of you," I said. I began clearing away the fruit leavings. "From what you said, you are a victim, as well as your uncle. We'll go to Thagorn. If Dharak says you can go to Chizan, sha'um can carry you partway there to make up for the time you will have lost."

She didn't say anything, and in a few seconds, I looked up from my work to see her studying me. Her face, her posture, the way her tongue worried her right tusk - everything about her bespoke indecision. I straightened up.

"Thymas, go away," I said. "I'd like to speak to Tarani alone for a few minutes." I glanced at him. It took no special talent to know what he was thinking. "It's business, Thomas. I won't touch her." When he still didn't move, I added: "You have my word. Now do it."

"Tarani?" he said, still uncertain. I held back from reminding him that he had promised obedience, and waited for her answer.

"I will be safe, Thymas," she said. "Lonna will come to you when we are through talking."

Defeated and angry, he called to his sha'um, mounted him, and rode off.

When he was out of earshot, I said: "This isn't your first dealing with Molik, is it?"

The corners of her mouth lifted in a small, bitter smile. "You read people well, Captain."

Wish that were true,
I thought.
The few intuitions I hare about you conflict with the visible evidence. You tried to kill me. The last thing I should do is trust you. But I can't help it. I believe every word you've said.

"Yes, I have known Molik for several years," she admitted. "Because of me, Volitar is in danger, Dharak was injured, and you were nearly killed."

She came closer to me. "I have said that when we met, I sensed that you were . . . different. There was also something almost familiar about you. I can't quite describe it. But I had the feeling that you wouldn't let death surprise you. I'm glad I was right."

I felt that, too – a strangeness mixed with a vague feeling of recognition. It's back, now. I feel . . . drawn to her.

We were standing so close that I seemed to be leaning toward her. It would be a short reach to -

Watch it! Watch it!
I nearly panicked.
If she's not dangerous enough in herself, think about Thymas. You promised him hands off.

As though the same reminder had crossed her mind, we each stepped back a pace, tripling the distance between us. "You were telling me about Molik?" I prompted.

"Yes. I -thank you for sending Thymas away." She sighed. "I've never talked to anyone else about this. I don't quite know where to start."

I gestured for her to sit down. She perched on a ground-hugging branch, and I plopped down in the soft-bladed ground cover. I felt more secure with half the clearing between us.

"My uncle sent me to a Recorder's school when I was a child," Tarani said. "I was the youngest there; I remember one of the teachers saying that Volitar had been very alert, to recognize my skill so quickly. I missed my uncle while I was at school, but I enjoyed the training. I went home fairly often, so that I was reasonably content.

"Until I turned fifteen. Then, all of a sudden, I felt ... bored. I avoided classes, and went walking in the hills around the school. Nothing seemed challenging anymore; I began to experiment with my skill. I found I could call wild animals to me.

"One day, terrified and excited all at once, I tried to call one of my teachers. She came. I learned, later, that her face had gone blank in the middle of a class, and she had walked away without a word. I know that when I saw her, I - I loathed myself. And I despised the power I had discovered. It was a violation of all that Volitar had taught me."

She shuddered with the memory.

"I left school that day. I wanted to go back to Volitar, to spend the rest of my life in his workshop, isolated from people. But I'd have had to give some explanation for returning in the middle of a school session. I couldn't lie to Volitar, and I was too ashamed to tell the truth. So I just wandered around the hills for a few days, eating what I could find.

"One night, there were four boys traveling along together. They saw me near the road. They chased me. They caught me, and held me down, and -" She took a breath, coughed, and then continued. "That is, they
tried
to.

"I made them see a female vineh."

Having had a brief encounter with that particular illusion, I could imagine the result. Total rout. But she had been only fifteen. It must have been rough for her.

"I wasn't hurt," she said, "but I was in shock for a while, I think. I came back to myself in a wild part of the hills. The first thing I saw was a bird, trapped in a thorn vine, and a
dralda
getting ready to attack it."

Markasset's memory wasn't much help here. He had heard of a dralda, but had never seen one. It was a small carnivore, something like a dog, from what I could tell.

"I soothed the bird, and frightened the dralda, by sending images," she said. "Of course, the bird was Lonna."

I heard the bird's odd call from somewhere above us, and I knew it had recognized its name.

"I lived in those hills for a while. Lonna shared her kills with me, when I needed meat; otherwise, there was wild fruit and rooted plants that I learned to eat. Lonna seemed to want to stay with me, and she was so smart, that the idea of performing with her came to me easily. I had kept track of the time, so that I know that I thought of it on the day after my sixteenth birthday.

"I told Lonna about my plan, and she agreed. She can understand a lot of words, and she can read the images I send. She has even learned to cast them, to a small extent. I've never seen another creature like her."

"Except sha'um," I said.

She leaned forward eagerly, diverted from her story for the moment. "Thymas has tried to tell me what its like," she said. "But I'm sure I don't really know how a Rider feels."

"Let's stick to the subject right now," I said. "You had the idea for the show."

She settled back again, disappointed. "The entertainment you saw is very close to the vision I had that day," she said.

"The first version was much smaller, of course, and I didn't have much experience on stage - but it was well-received in Chizan, and along the caravan trails.

"But before I could assemble even that tiny group, I needed money, she continued.”I never considered asking Volitar for it. He makes a comfortable living, but he works alone, producing small things. I knew he wouldn't have any money to lend me, even if he approved of the idea.

"So I went to the Refreshment House of Inid and from there to Chizan. There was only one source of money in Chizan."

"You borrowed what you needed from Molik?" I guessed.

She looked at the scratched hands in her lap. "That's what I told Thymas, when he, too, asked me how I came to be involved with Molik," she said. "But the truth is I
earned
that money."

I couldn't believe what I thought she meant. Prostitution was hardly unknown in Gandalara. It was a percentage of Worfit's business, and I supposed a crossroads like Chizan would have a booming red light district. But there wasn't as much demand for it, generally, as there had been in Ricardo's world.

This was another byproduct of the Gandalaran inner awareness. Women
knew
when they were vulnerable to pregnancy. At any other time, they made decisions based on their own desires. There seemed to be no venereal disease in this world, and without the threat of unwanted pregnancy, sexual activity was considered part of a normal life, even of very young people. A father would be more upset if his daughter liked an unapproved suitor than if she slept with him.

With that atmosphere of freedom prevalent, prostitutes served the strangers in town, or the men or women with tastes so bizarre they couldn't find willing partners. Sometimes a prostitute was especially good at something . . .

Holy jumping Harthim!

"But -" I stammered, unable to hide the shock I felt. "But a man in Molik's position could have all the women he wanted!"

Again, that bitter little smile. "With my skills, I could be all the women he ever wanted. I walked into his office and told him so, proved it, and agreed to stay with him for six moons, if he would finance the show at the end of that time."

You were sixteen years old!
I was thinking.
And Markasset seems to think a Recorder's school is a pretty sedate and sheltered place. Something doesn't jibe here....

She shrugged her shoulders, her thoughts running parallel to mine. "It seemed strange to me that I knew just what to do. I was - I hadn't been with a man before that time. I understood that it wasn't the most honorable way to earn money, but it seemed the only way to raise the quantity- I needed in a fairly short time.

"Those six moons weren't unbearable. Molik is a presentable man, and he was always lavishly grateful . . . until the time was up. I discovered, much too late, that illusion in certain circumstances is dangerous. Molik had begun to be . . . needful."

Psychological addiction
, I thought. Not surprising.

Tarani had picked up a waterskin, and was tossing it lightly between her hands.

"I will say Molik this much good - he honored our agreement," she said. "He let me go. But he has never stopped trying to find a way to possess me again."

"You may be right, and he will release your uncle . this time," I said. "But now that he's found the right lever, what makes you think that Volitar will ever be safe from him?"

One hand grabbed the half-empty waterskin and squeezed hard. "What makes you think he will live long, after he releases my uncle?"

I sat quietly, considering what she had said. Finally I asked: "Why have you told me all this?"

"To convince you to let me go. Alone. I thought, if I told you everything ..

"Is this everything?"

"Yes. I swear it. And now that I have told you so much, will you tell me one thing?"

"I don't know. You can ask."

"Molik gloated over the high fee he charged, to send his men into Thagorn. Why does someone hate you that much?"

"There's a certain roguelord in Raithskar," I said. "He and Molik would make a good pair. I killed one of his men - it was unavoidable. I have no idea how he knew that I would be in Thagorn. You left Chizan about the same time I left Raithskar. Even if Worfit's spies had overheard where I was going, and even if a mafua could make it to Chizan in one day -"

"Worfit?" she interrupted my speculation. "Who is Worfit?" "The roguelord who wants to kill me," I explained, with exaggerated patience.

"But . . . I told yon that Molik boasted in front of me. He even let slip the name of the man who paid him, and he was angry with himself for doing it. I'm sure that Worfit wasn't the name I heard."

Great day in the morning!
I felt thoroughly exasperated.
I no more than get one thing figured out . . .

All right," I sighed. "Who did pay Molik to threaten Volitar to force Tarani to take hired killers into the house that Jack built?"