The Game That Breaks Us (26 page)

“Really? Because I don’t see any lining up.” I hold up a hand. “And
don’t
say it’s because they think I have a boyfriend. I know that rarely stops most guys, and when I was in high school it was the same thing.”

“Maybe they’re intimidated by you,” he suggests.

I snort. “Intimidated by me? Are you crazy?”

“Well,” he starts, “in your hometown, they probably knew you came from a rich family, right?”

I nod. “Yeah, it’s common knowledge around there.”

“Okay,” he says. “Take that and your whole take charge attitude and it scares a guy away.”

“Take charge?”

“I don’t mean that in a bad way,” he says quickly. “I just mean, you’re kind of bossy.”

“Is there any
good
way to take bossy?”

“Fuck,” he curses, and pinches the bridge of his nose. “I’m saying this all wrong. What I mean is, you’re a leader and a lot of guys are intimidated by that.”

“Are
you
intimidated by that?” I don’t know why I ask that, but I’m insanely curious of his answer.

He grins. “Hell no. I fucking love it. You don’t take anyone’s bullshit, and I find that insanely attractive.”

I press my lips together. I want to ask him if that means he finds
me
attractive, but I’m scared to push my luck. If he hasn’t realized I’ve developed real feelings for him I’d like to keep it that way. Something tells me that anyone that falls in love with Bennett gets their heartbroken, and I don’t want to be added to that list.

We stop for the night around seven o’ clock. We got stuck in traffic thanks to a nasty wreck so we still have a good six hours to drive tomorrow.

“You can shower first,” Bennett tells me, opening the door to our room and dropping our bags on the floor. “I’m going to go grab us something to eat from that restaurant next door. I’ll be right back.”

I nod as he immediately ducks back out the door. 

I don’t hesitate to get in the shower. I didn’t have time this morning since I was already behind and I don’t know why, but sitting in a car all day makes me feel gross. I turn the shower on and let the room steam up. Bennett insisted on us staying in a nice hotel, and I’m thankful for that. I drop my clothes on the floor and step under the spray. I feel my coiled muscles instantly relax and I sigh. I’m glad Bennett asked if I was okay to stop and didn’t insist on continuing down the road. I don’t think I could’ve lasted another six hours in the car. Luckily, when we were growing up we usually flew everywhere when we went on vacation, but on those rare occasions when we drove, I was always the one complaining. Being cooped up in a car never bothered my brothers, though.

I step out of the shower and grab one of the fluffy white towels embroidered with the hotel logo and dry off before wrapping it around my body. 

I stupidly didn’t bring a change of clothes into the bathroom with me but I was too eager to get in the shower. I open the door and find that our bags are no longer right there, which means Bennett is back.

“I got you a cheeseburger. I hope that’s okay,” he calls from the bedroom area. 

“Yeah, that’s fine.” I pad in there and find him standing over the bed pulling Styrofoam boxes out of a paper bag. 

He looks up when he hears me and makes a strangled sound. 

I don’t move. I don’t think I even breathe.

“Grace,” he whispers my name like it’s the only word he knows. 

I feel like everything between us has been leading to this moment. Like we’re at a crossroads and one choice will define how everything ends. I always make the safe choice.
Always
. But fuck it, the safe choice is boring, and I’m so sick of it.

I drop the towel.

Bennett makes a strangled sound and he swallows thickly. He doesn’t look away, and his eyes … They’re burning with a fire. He doesn’t move toward me, though, and I realize he’s giving me the choice. The choice to pick up my towel and pretend this never happened or the choice to grab the reins and take what I want. 

I take a step forward and he doesn’t move away. I take that as a good sign.

Another step and then another until I’m right in front of him. My hands slide up around his neck, tangling into the hair that’s grown slightly shaggy since I first saw him. 

“What are you doing?” he asks, breathing heavily.

“I want this,” I tell him, sliding my hands down his chest. “I want you.”

“Why?” he asks. “Why me? I’m not good for you.”

“I trust you,” I tell him. “I
like
you.” More than I should. “I want this to be you.”

He shakes his head, his jaw clenched tight. “There are plenty of other guys that would be so much better for you, Grace. I don’t want you to regret this.”

“I want
you
.” I plead with my eyes for him to understand. “How can I regret something I want so bad?”

He still looks unsure. “I don’t want you to hate me.”

“I won’t,” I promise.

“You might,” he counters. “Sex complicates things.”

“Everything is complicated, not just sex.”

He swallows thickly. “I feel like such an asshole.”

“Why?” I ask, my brows furrowing together.

“Because I want this,” he whispers, taking my face between his hands and crashing his lips to mine. 

He backs me up against the bed, and I fall onto it with his large body over mine. I feel vulnerable naked while he’s fully dressed, but I feel confident he won’t stay that way for long. 

My legs wind around his waist and I rub against his jeans. My hands skim under his shirt over his toned stomach, pushing the shirt up as I go. I want it off and he obliges, breaking the kiss long enough to tear it off and throw it into the corner of the room. My heart beats so fast that I think it might fall out of my chest.

He kisses my neck and down my chest, over my breasts, before swirling his tongue around each nipple. I’m pretty sure I whimper. He moves further down, kissing my stomach and then stops, looking at me for affirmation. 

I nod. I don’t want him to stop. Ever. 

He hooks my legs over his shoulders and swipes his tongue over my pussy.

I really do whimper that time. My fingers grasp at the sheets, his hair, anything to keep me from flying away. 

He lifts his head enough to ask, “Does that feel good?”

“Don’t stop,” I plead.

He chuckles but does as I said. I’ve never experienced anything that can compare to the pleasure he makes me feel. This is unlike anything else, and it’s amazing.

My body tingles and I fall over the edge of a cliff. At least, that’s what it feels like. My vision goes fuzzy and I forget to breathe.

Bennett moves back up my body and kisses me. He bites my bottom lip and tugs on it just slightly. I reach for his belt buckle, my hands shaking from the aftershocks of my orgasm. 

Bennett grasps my hands, stopping me.

“Are you sure?” he asks again. “We can stop right now. This doesn’t have to go any farther than this.”

I shake my head and push his hands off. “Shut up.”

He chuckles and rolls to the bed, taking me with him so that I’m on top. I undo the buckle and move onto the button and zipper. I move fast—scared that he’ll change his mind. I’m not worried about myself. I’m sure. I want this more than anything.

When I have his jeans completely undone, he rolls me back over and then stands, getting rid of his jeans and underwear in one movement.

“Eager, are we?” I ask, propping up on my elbows. I groan when he wraps his hand around his cock and gives it one sure stroke.

“There’s a hot naked girl lying on the bed.
Of course
I’m eager.” He reaches for his jeans and pulls out his wallet. He fumbles through it and pulls out a condom, holding it between his fingers.

“I don’t know whether I should be mad or glad that you have that in there.” I narrow my eyes on him.

He chuckles and rips the foil. “Better to be prepared than not.”

He rolls the condom on and then stalks toward me. I lie back on the bed and his large body falls on top of me. He holds his weight above me enough that I can feel him, but I’m not crushed. 

He takes my chin between his fingers and tips my head down, staring into my eyes. “I probably shouldn’t admit this, but you have no fucking clue how badly I’ve wanted this—wanted
you
.”

My throat catches and I reach up, rubbing my fingers over the stubble on his cheek. We don’t say anything. We don’t need to. A thousand words can be conveyed in one look.

He kisses me and pulls back, nuzzling his lips against my ear. “This is going to hurt you,” he warns, “and I’m so fucking sorry for that.”

I brush my fingers through his hair, noting the worry in his eyes. “I’ll be okay,” I tell him. “I’m ready.” I mean that in more ways than one.

He guides himself inside me and I close my eyes, bracing myself for the pinch. 

He starts in slowly and I hiss. He immediately stops. “What? What did I do?” he asks, touching my face tenderly. “Grace?”

“Do it fast,” I tell him. “Like ripping off a Band-Aid.”

He chuckles. “Sex isn’t like a Band-Aid, Princess.”

I narrow my eyes on him. “Last time I checked, you didn’t have a vagina to know what this feels like. Just do it, Bennett.”

He rolls his hips slightly. “Definitely no vagina.” He winks. 

He bends and kisses me, but doesn’t move any farther inside me. His tongue tangles in mine and I grasp his shoulders, ready to push him away so I can yell at him to get a move on with it, when he
does
push all the way into me. I cry into his mouth and I’m pretty sure I bite his tongue or lip. He doesn’t scold me, though.

He holds steady there and looks down at me as I fight tears. I
knew
it would hurt, but I guess I didn’t think it would be
this
bad. 

“I’m sorry, so sorry, sweetheart,” he murmurs, and he looks truly distraught at causing me any sort of pain.

I want to tell him it’s okay, but there’s not any air in my lungs to speak with. He seems to know to give me a minute, and eventually, the pain turns to a dull throbbing and my fingernails are no longer digging into his shoulders. 

“I’m okay,” I assure him. “Promise.”

He looks at me doubtfully. “Tell me when you’re ready for me to move.”

“Not yet.” I nearly scream the words, clamping my legs around his waist. 

He chuckles softly and lowers his head, sweeping his lips over mine in a tender caress. He’s being infinitely sweet with me—sweeter than I ever imagined. He deepens the kiss and I completely forget about the pain. He moves to my neck, kissing the sensitive skin there and my hips rock slightly against his. The pain is minimal now, merely a dullness remaining. But I still find myself scared to tell him to continue in case it starts up again. He seems fine to wait, though.

I grasp his cheeks in my hands and bring his lips back to mine. I kiss him deeply, my tongue tangling with his. He tastes like cinnamon and something sweet that I can’t quite pinpoint.

With a shaky breath I say, “You can move now.”

He pauses, giving me the chance to take back the words if I don’t really mean them, but he must see the truth there because he slides out the smallest amount and back in. It hurts, but not like before. It’s duller now. 

I can tell he’s holding back, however. 

“I can take it,” I tell him. “Don’t hold back.”

He looks uncertain and breathes out, “I don’t want to hurt you.”

“You won’t,” I promise. At least, not now, like this. He does have the power to hurt me—to break my heart.

He grabs my waist and angles my hips up. He moves faster, but not too fast, and for that, I’m thankful. He’s slightly rough, though, in the way his fingers dig into my skin, and I love that—I love that he’s so close to losing control that he has to hold onto me. 

He stares down at me like I’m the most beautiful woman he’s ever seen and I’d be lying if I didn’t say I don’t feel that way when he looks at me. More than beautiful: he makes me feel alive in a way I never have before. 

He lowers, his chest pressing mine, and angles his hips so he’s pressing deeper into me. My eyes nearly roll back into my head. 

“Do that again,” I beg.

He does, chuckling when he sees what it does to me.

I force my eyes open and look down to where we’re joined. The sight turns me on and I clench around him. Bennett’s eyes darken with desire. 

“That turns you on,” he rasps out. “Watching me fuck you.”

It does, but I have no words to tell him. My thoughts have turned into a kaleidoscope of colors and I can’t think straight. The only thing I feel and know is pleasure. 

He rubs his fingers against me, and I jolt in surprise at the feeling.

“Did I hurt you?” he asks, worried.

I shake my head. 

He rubs his fingers harder and I nearly black out from the pleasure. I come around him, my fingers digging into his arms, and when I come back down to Earth I see that I’ve bitten his shoulder.

Oops.

Bennett doesn’t look upset, though. Instead, he looks even more turned on than he was before. 

He moves a little faster and bends to kiss me. He growls into my neck when he comes and then rolls off of me before his weight can crush me. He surprises me by reaching for me and holding my body against his side. I hook my leg over his and we both try to gather our breaths.