Authors: L. M. Trio
“Uh, are you taking me to your room? God, you move fast,” he jokes.
I punch him. Leave it up to him to make a smart ass comment and break the ice. You’ve got to love that about him. As soon as I start to over think something and worry about it, he eases the tension.
“Oh... So it’s okay for you to take me to
your room
, but it’s not okay for me to take you to
my room
?” I jokingly ask.
“Yeah, well…we know
I move fast
,” he says as he tickles me.
“Not anymore,” I say under my breath, but loud enough for him to hear.
He pulls me into a bear hug. “Not anymore,” he says sincerely, looking into my eyes. “From now on, we take things slow. We go at whatever pace you’re comfortable with.”
“Thank you.” I lean up to give him a kiss. See, problem solved. “So… you said you wanted to talk to me?” It is more of a question than a statement.
“Yep, I do. About us.”
“Okay, let me get change so I can be comfortable, too, I’ll be back in sec.” I grab a pair of sweat shorts and a tank top out of my drawer.
Unlike him, I change in my bathroom. I wash my face since I had a little more make-up on tonight than usual; it
is
New Year’s. I brush my teeth and my hair. I throw my hair up in a ponytail and I look in the mirror. Wow, I just managed to go from looking twenty to looking twelve in a matter of minutes. I shake my hair out of the ponytail and head back to my room. He’s looking at the collage of pictures hanging on my wall. De and I hung up a huge bulletin board filled with pictures we took from the summer up until recently. Someone is always snapping pictures with their cell phones.
“What? No pictures of me?” he asks as I walk in.
They mostly are of my friends, but I do have a couple of him, here and there. “You’re in a couple.” I walk over and point to two pictures. One where he is standing with Mikey at the beach. I’m not sure who took it, but I downloaded it from somewhere. The other is of him and me at the inlet. It was the last time we had been there for a party, in early October. We were finally getting past the summer incident. He had come over and sat next to me on my blanket to say, hi. Cathy, with camera phone in hand, walked up and told us to smile. I like it because you can see the sun setting over the water behind us. Luke has his arm around me.
“Where did you get this one?” he asks, pointing to the picture.
“Cathy took it; the last time everyone went to the inlet.” “I remember. Can I have it?” he asks.
“No, but I’ll make you a copy.” I laugh. “So, let’s talk.” I fluff the pillows and lean back against them.
“Sounds good.” He sits on the edge of my bed, facing me. “Are you comfortable?” he asks. I nod. “Let me start with the night of the storm when we were together... We decided that it was better to keep things the way they were... and, if we hooked up every now and then, it would be cool, right?” I nod, recalling the deal we made. “Once I got home, my mom sensed there was something on my mind and we started to talk… I kind of told her about us, and...”
I cut him off. “Luke, told her what, exactly?”
He can tell by my expression that I’m mortified.
“Relax,” he says cheerfully. “I didn’t tell her
all of it
. I just told her I had feelings for you, more so than a friend. She thought I should talk to you about it.”
“So your mom knew all this time?” I ask, surprised.
Again, he smiles. “Yeah, pretty much, Mikey, too. Well, actually... Mikey knew since Fourth of July. Now, let me finish...… “
I interrupt again, mortified that all of these people were in on what I thought was our little secret. “Luke, go back to the beginning, what about the Fourth of July?”
For some reason he’s amused by this. “Okay, you’re going to think I’m an asshole, but... after Fourth of July, when I left... I couldn’t get that night out of my head. I was confused by what I was feeling, how we left things, you know... I had to talk to Mikey; I needed to clear my head before the tournament.” He laughs at this. “Being away from you made me realize that I wanted to be with
only you
that’s why I broke it off with Alexa and…” He pauses. “I sort of told her the reason.” Another pause. “And, that’s pretty much why she hates you.” Again he is kind of laughing as he relays this information.
I’m about to interrupt, but he stops me by leaning over and giving me a quick kiss. “Let me finish.
Anyway, after I realized how much I cared about you, that was it for me. I just assumed that you would have ESP and know what I was thinking. When I came over to your house that night, you were with...
what’s his name
and I was crushed. In my mind, it was like you were cheating on me. That’s why I was so mad at you. After I finally realized that you had no idea what was going on in my mind, it made sense to me. It just took me a long time to figure it out and get over it.” He pauses, waiting for my response.
“Oh, my God; you are an ass. Do you realize how many times you threw the word
‘friend’
at me that night when you snuck in my window? Probably as many pitches as you throw in a game,” I say sarcastically. He laughs at my analogy “
In my mind. YOU were making it clear where we stood
. There were so many times I would replay that night over in my mind and get annoyed with myself for believing there was more to it than what it was. These last six months I’ve hooked up with this guy and that guy just hoping at least one of them would make me forg...”
“Yeah, tell me about it, I’ve noticed. You get around more than me,” he interrupts dryly.
“It’s not the same thing,” I shoot back playfully as I gave him a push.
“Well, I still don’t like to think about it, which is why I need to finish what I came here to say.
Anyway, back to the night of the storm. I don’t know why I didn’t confess then that I wanted more than that. I was hoping you would want the same thing and I was waiting for you to tell me you felt the same way,
but
, you never did. So, here I am telling you... I want to be more than friends. I know I’m a piece of shit for laying this on you right now, especially since I just blew the last six months that I could have been spending with you. Most likely, I’m leaving in a few months, who knows where I’ll be... but I don’t care. I’m selfish. I want you all to myself. I don’t want you to be with anyone else. I’ve
never ever
felt this way about anyone before and I don’t want to hide it anymore... and I’m really, really hoping that you feel the same way. There, I said it.” He lets out a breath as he looks into my eyes, searching for an answer.
I freeze, I don’t respond. I can’t even breathe just yet. I’m trying to process everything he just said to me. Did I hear him right or did I imagine it? I sit there for what feels to be an eternity, staring at my comforter, trying to contemplate whether he really just said those words to me.
“Wow that sucks, J. Not quite the reaction I was hoping for.”
“Huh?” He breaks my train of thought.
“I said, not quite the reaction I was hoping for. Look, I know you think I’m an idiot, but just please give me a chance? At least think about it?” he pleads.
I’m still processing. I don’t even realize that I haven’t responded to what he just said to me. Of course I want to be with him, doesn’t he know that? I finally manage to snap myself out of it.
“I’m sorry. I’m just trying to process all of this, but, Luke, I feel exactly the same way about you.” I slowly lean towards him until my lips softly brush upon his, sending chills throughout my whole body.
He kicks off his sneaks and slides beside me, pulling me into his arms. “This is going to be great, JJ. I promise. Not a bad way to start the New Year. What do you think?” he asks enthusiastically.
I roll to his side so that I’m facing him. “I agree. Definitely awesome,” I say as I snuggle closer to his body, resting my head on his chest. “This just feels right,” I whisper. I feel his lips softly kiss the top of my head as he holds me tightly in his arms; his hands softly stroking my hair and back.
(Jesse)
“JJ... Jess…JJ… I think David’s home.”
Ah, the warmth of his body next to mine, the sound of his voice whispering softly in my ear and the feel of his hands on my waist… What a dream…
Pleasssse, do not wake me up!
Then I focus on what is being said in this dream. David’s
home
. Not a dream... Panic.
“Oh my God! What!?” I jump up, brushing my hair out of my face. “What do you mean? What time is it?” I ask nervously as I push him.
He is laughing at me. “I don’t know. It’s early. I guess we fell asleep. I heard the car door. What should I do?” He looks amused as he continues to lie calmly in my bed with his arms crossed behind his head, watching me freak out.
“For one, stop laughing. You’ve got to get the hell out of here! He likes you and all, but not if he finds you in his daughter’s bed,” I yell, as I continue pushing him out of it.
“How?” he asks, hardly able to get the words out. “I’m not making it out of the window in time; there’s no way.” He’s standing between the door and the closet, looking at me for answers, with a gigantic, nervous grin on his face.
As I hear the footsteps in the hallway growing closer, I shove his sneakers in his hands, while pushing him towards my closet. “Get in! Don’t come out until I tell you and stop laughing; it’s not funny!” Trying to hold back the grin that is now forming on my face as well. I jump back in bed and pull the covers up over my head, hiding the still present grin. Within seconds, I hear the creaking sound of my door opening. I freeze. Again, the same creaking sound when it closes. I wait a few seconds, giving him time to make his way down the hall. I tiptoe over to the door, then in my best sleepy voice, “Dad, was that you?” I peek out from my door.
“Yeah, Sweetie. Sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you. Go back to bed; I’m going to catch a few more hours myself. We’ll talk later,” he answers.
“Okay, just wanted to make sure.” The good thing about living in an old house with creaking floors is that you can pretty much tell where everyone is at all times. I listen for the sounds of the floorboards creaking on the stairs before I close my
door and lock it, just in case, and then I walk over to the closet to open the door.
“Wow. That was close.” He’s grinning as he stumbles out.
“Yeah, it was.” I giggle back.
“I guess I better get going then.” It is more of a question.
“Well, he did just go up to bed... better make sure he’s asleep first before you leave.” At this point I am wide awake and I need a little confirmation that everything we talked about last night wasn’t a dream.
“Sounds good to me,” he says as he walks over to me.
I stop him. “Wait, I have to brush my teeth first; I’ll be right back,” I joke as I walk into the bathroom.
“Well, now I’m going to have to brush mine. Do you have an extra toothbrush, if not, would you let me use yours?” he teases.
“Yes and no. Yes, I have an extra and no, you can’t use mine.” After all, I do have my limits. As cute as he is, I will not share my toothbrush. I toss him an extra as I come out of the bathroom.
“Really? You wouldn’t let me use your toothbrush?” I nod. “Yet, you don’t seem to mind me sticking my tongue in your mouth and swapping spit?” He is playing with me as he walks into the bathroom.
“That’s different,” I call out.
“I would let you use mine,” he mumbles back.
“I wouldn’t want to use yours,” I reply.
He’s laughing as he walks back in the room towards me. “So, I guess I should make sure I have an extra for you when you stay at my house?” His arms wrap around me as he gently pushes me back into the bed.
“That would be nice,” I say as I pull him in closer. I could stay like this forever; holding him, kissing him, listening to the sounds of his breathing as his lips brush the spot below my ear, and feeling his heart beating as fast as mine when his chest is pressed against me.
He looks into my eyes as he softly strokes the side of my face. “You’re so beautiful,” he says as he gently kisses my lips. I must have subconsciously rolled my eyes.
“Don’t roll your eyes,
you know you are.
”
“I don’t know if I’d go as far as beautiful, especially now,” I tease. I don’t see myself as beautiful. It’s kind of funny to me.
“Bullshit. Don’t give me that. You know guys are always staring at you. Half my friends have been trying to get me to hook you up with them,” he accuses me as if I should know this.
“I don’t know. I’ve never noticed.” I shrug. I was serious, I know guys ask about me, but I never really noticed anyone staring. “I guess I really only notice you,” I add.
“Well, I notice, but good answer.” He kisses me again. “So, are you ready to go public? I can’t wait.” He sounds a little too enthusiastic.
“Luke, I’m not great with a lot of attention on me,” I answer hesitantly.
“Well, babe, you should have thought about that before you said you wanted to be with me last night. There’s no taking it back now,” he jokes.