The Future Has a Past (6 page)

She believed her son had stolen the lipstick. She was a Christian woman and did not want her son to be a thief. But Satan is a wily ole devil and he knows the human heart pretty well. The mother had never, never, ever had a tube of red lipstick or any other type of thing to make a woman pretty . . . so she kept it and pretended, as he said, he had found it. But, now, when her son stared off into space, she raised her eyes over her chores, watching him, and wondered and worried about his future, his life. She prayed for all her children, but especially Cecil Ray.

Even in the country, people find some way to have a little relaxation, so there is usually a place called a juke joint where you can get a little drink and socialize. There are people who look for places like this to gamble. They take away from the poorest of people what little has been left to them after their toil for the first somebody, their bosses, who kept all they could get away with from the poor laborers. Passing the juke joint on his way to and from errands run for his mother sometimes, Cecil Ray met other young men who did not like to work. Suitcase Brown, Cadillac Jim (though he didn’t have a Cadillac, he had seen a rich white man in one when he was riding the rails into some town), Big Red, Little Black, Broad-way were names of some of the passing gamblers. These men and others gambled for a living. They even took money from women and you must know how little the women made in such company.

Only a poor Fool would be caught between a rock gambler and a hard place woman, but the Fools came back every week for more of the same cheatin and lyin. Fool’s gold glitters too!

Some of the gamblers had women they carried around with them, to keep the one or two dollars coming in to gamble with. Occasionally these men had cars, some old and gasping, but still running. A few of the men had a fine, sleek, new model automobile, but they usually didn’t stay more than one night in a small town like the one Cecil Ray lived in.

These men became Cecil Ray’s heroes. Not his father, who worked hard, wearing washed-out, faded overalls every day, sometimes unwashed for a week or two, and didn’t have but one old threadbare suit he wore to church every Sunday. Had no automobile. Had a mule and a cow. And worked for the white man, who cheated him. Regular. He was what Cecil Ray called a fool. But the father lived and had nine children and a woman he loved.

Cecil Ray didn’t hear, but seldom, about the gamblers shot, stabbed, starved and dead after they passed through the juke joint. He just saw what looked like “the good life.” That’s when he changed his name, secretly, to “Silki.”

When he was fifteen years old he began to sneak out and stay out til the early morning hours. He had even had his try at nooky because he was good looking, and with any money he won he went into town and bought clothes or won a jacket or shirt off someone’s back. When he was sixteen he kissed his crying mother good-bye and left . . . for good. Never did plan to come back, ever.

In his moving around from place to place he came to Oscum, where Luella lived. Doing poorly right then, he took a job at the factory there in order to make friends and beat them out of their paychecks.

He was a juke joint man, so he had met Mattie, Luella’s neighbor. Hers was a place to go for a drink or a light poker game sometime. There, he had heard about Luella coming into some money from her mother’s death. Then he had watched her, just in passing, until he knew her rhythm. Then one morning, that morning, clean and fresh because he had a lady who washed, lightly starched and pressed his overalls, he appeared in Luella’s yard.

After that first morning he had arisen early or had not even gotten to bed the previous night, passed by and sat in Mattie’s yard behind the wild shrubbery to see if Luella looked for him. He was pleased with himself when he saw she tried to look better when she came out of her house to work her garden. He saw her looking over the gate, up and down the quiet street, looking for him, he was sure.

About seven days later, he was in her yard when Luella came out, less dressed because she had given him up. Her heart leapt in her untouched breast. Joy filled her mind and slithered on down her oiled body to her fingertips and toes.

The garden was well taken care of because she had done a lot of work just to stay outside, but Silki found things to do that made him decide not to go to work. He had been having a little trouble there anyway.

Luella just stood there, enjoying looking at the young man, looking into his deep brown eyes. Since he was already working at something that didn’t need anything, she started working herself. He had taken his shirt off so as they passed each other in the garden or exchanged tools, she felt the smooth skin of his arm, his shoulder, his hands. He knew every move she made and why she made it. He bumped into her many times on purpose. You know.

As the sun rose higher in the clear, blue sky, Luella asked, “Don’t you have to get to work, Mr. Silki?”

“Sposed to, but I am enjoying myself right here with you. They can get along alright without me one day. Sides, I left my lunch at home anyway and it’s too far to go back.”

“Ohhhhh.”

Silki smiled at her, squinting in the sun which made him cuter, “I’ll just help you round here and then I’ll go find somethin to eat and somethin to do with the rest of the day.”

Luella frowned and repeated, “Ohhhhhhh.”

“Say,” he spoke, “you got a hammer and some nails? We can shore up and steady your shed.” He laughed, “It needs some help. Fact is, I see lots of things round here could stand a little help.”

He saw her look around the well-kept yard.

Silki laughed, “Not a lot of help, but a little help, so things don’t get worser.”

Later, he hummed a little as he worked. A man sound. He hit his thumb a few times which meant he could sit down and rub it until it felt better. This was not his line of work, but he did do some good.

Luella had been running in and out of the house, preparing his lunch so he would not have to leave. At last, everything was ready and it was time for lunch. “Lunchtime,” she called from the back door.

Silki struggled up with a frown from the spot he had quickly slumped down to when she ran into the house. The frown turned into his bright smile as he strode around the shed and into Luella’s sight.

“Lunchtime? Lord, has it been that long? I guess it has because my stomach just told me I’m hungry! Girl, you didn’t have to go to no trouble for me. I coulda found somethin somewhere.”

Luella’s heart felt like a wife’s. “Come on in and wash your hands.” He went in like he had done it a thousand times.

Luella had set a lovely table for him. Garden vegetables and a crisply fried pork chop that was tender in the middle and hot bread. “I know this ain’t as nice as you are used to, but I hope it will do. Butter beans out the garden, and rice. I got some gravy for them pork chops. And plenty butter for that cornbread. I buy it fresh from the cow man. You want buttermilk or red soda?”

Silki thought a short minute. “I love iced tea, but red pop will suit me just fine.”

Luella wished she had made iced tea. There wasn’t even any tea in the house. “Well, there sure will be next time,” she thought to herself.

They talked and laughed as they ate and Luella saw he had two side teeth missing; she smiled because she had the same two missing, one on each side. But that didn’t take anything away from his charm. When he smiled he had a way of tightening his cheeks so dimples came in them and the missing side teeth were hidden. Luella decided to practice that smile to hide her own missing teeth.

After lunch, Silki just had to sit a minute because “the house I live in is so noisy and I don’t get a good night’s sleep at night, sometimes. Lemme just sit here a minute, Ms. Luella. My stomach feels so good and my mouth is so happy! I’ll just close my eyes a minute and draw in all this good feelin you got in your house.”

Luella nodded her head, grinning, “You just go on and rest. You been workin in that sun all mornin! I’ll just go on in the kitchen and clean up a bit.”

Silki fell asleep because he hadn’t been to sleep at all last night, he’d been gambling. When Luella came out of the kitchen, drying her hands, she smiled at him sleeping. She tip-toed to her bedroom and got a pillow and took a quilt from her grandma’s chest. She covered him and inch by inch got the pillow under his head. He seldom slept well because he was always around people he could not trust enough to sleep soundly. So not fearing Luella, he slept deeply all the rest of that day far into the evening until even Luella got worried about what her neighbors would think.

When it was plumb dark she woke him up. His eyes rolled round in their sockets, because it took him a minute to remember where he was. He had trained himself not to call out names, so he didn’t say a word until he was sure of where he was. “Oh! Ms. Luella! I done overslept. I got to go. I didn’t mean to stay here on you all day.”

“Mr. Silki, you ain’t done nothin wrong. Just it’s late and I don’t want my neighbors to think I’m doin wrong up in here.”

“No mam! Ms. Luella!”

“You need to just call me Luella, not Ms. Luella.”

“And you need to just call me Silki, not Mr. Silki. Can I stop and see you again, Ms. Lu—ah, Luella?”

“Why sure. You been a big help to me. I preciate you.”

Silki took her hand and led her to the door, thrilling her. He kissed that hand as he went out the door. Thrilling her some more. He went out and closed the door behind him. Luella leaned against it, smiling that smile that lit up her whole body and just thrilling all over her whole self. “Silki,” she whispered out loud. “And Aunt Corrine can’t say nothin bout you cause you worked and helped me.”

Now, Silki thought Luella was nice, but he didn’t like her for himself and he certainly didn’t love her . . . or plan to. She was not fly enough for him. “She ain nowhere near them pretty women I done seen. But she can cook!” The women he did have, or know, were the make-up, baubles and bangles, straightened and curly hair slick with scented pomade kind. They wore tight red, green, yellow, blue or purple dresses; some sparkled. Most of these women “made” money, the little that was out there. They could cook, too, when they had time and the inclination. Silki got some of the money, some of the time, from one or another.

Silki was selfish and it extended to his loving. His love-making. He satisfied himself first and always. Well, a woman, good or bad, gets tired of that. But some good women don’t know it could be better, while the others knew it could be and would be, because they didn’t keep Silki very long. First the money began to dribble in, then stopped. And a beating from him didn’t improve things. He got cut once or twice on his behind. Until at last, they were gone or he was gone.

That’s where he was now. Kinda on the outs. He knew he could do better in a big city. Memphis, Birmingham? Atlanta! He wasn’t ready for New York yet, he thought, but maybe soon . . . Chicago. He just needed some money . . . big money.

Lunch at Luella’s house came to be a regular thing. He said, “Luella, I just can’t help it! I just can’t eat that slop at those cafes no more. Your cookin done spoilt me.”

Luella would smile and serve him, day after day. It was his one good meal a day; sometime the only one a day. The money from his job, he gambled away, always losing. He was a dumb slick and all the fellows knew it, so they always set him up and played on him together. Cheating, like he was trying to do.

Corrine had, of course, noticed Silki and his growing friendship with Luella. She didn’t know or understand Silki, but she had a good idea what he was doing. She knew Luella was starry-eyed and spending her money on plenty food. Luella was even getting plumper because of all the cooking she was doing for Silki. Now, she even fixed him a bag of food for him to take with him and eat later. One thing he never did, he never asked her for cash money. He had his plan.

On one of Corrine’s visits through the fence to see Luella, she asked her, “Has that Preacher Watchem paid you your mother’s money yet?”

“No mam, and I sure do need it.”

Corrine cleared her throat, “I reckon you do, feeding that young man like you do.”

“Well, I eat, too.”

“Yes, but you the only one payin for it.”

Luella smiled in spite of herself, “Well, he works round the house and yard.”

Corrine took a moment before she said, “It would cost you almost nothin to pay somebody to do what he does.”

“But . . . I like him, Aunty, I think I love him.”

“Why? How?”

Luella squirmed a bit in her chair. “Well . . . it’s just a feelin. I think he loves me too.”

“Why? How?”

“He’s nice to me.”

“Luella, sweetheart . . . you don’t know what nice is. Or what love is.” Luella turned her face away from her friend. Corrine continued anyway. “You know, Luella, people think you got money.”

“Wellll . . .”

“Well, you don’t. You got a little savings your mama and you worked for. It won’t last long. I’m not going to ask you how much you have left in that bank, but you be careful because it will be gone and something tells me Mr. Silki will be gone, too. And all the food and comforts you have spent your money on will have been flushed down the toilet. You know what I mean? And you will have nothing to show for it except empty toilet paper wrappings. Even the doodoo will be gone.”

Luella hurried to answer, “Oh, no, no. I only spend what I make washing clothes. I started picking up my old customers again. And he don’t never ask me for no money, no way.”

Corrine shook her head sadly, “He don’t have to. He’s eating and sleeping all day. Free.”

Luella looked into Corrine’s face and she looked so pitiful to Corrine when she said, “But, Aunty, he’s talkin bout takin me off to a big city cause they don’t pay nothing in that factory here and his foreman don’t like him noway.”

“I guess not. They like people to come to work.”

Luella reached for Corrine, holding her hand out to her, looking so pitiful, begging to be able to believe her love had come. “I’m thinkin bout goin with him to see about it. I ain never been to no big city. Picture shows, big stores, pretty parks and things. I can even get a better kinda job.” She smiled a combination of sad and happy. “We gonna be married and buy a house up there. Just think, Aunty, I’ll have a husband. And a whole new life!”