Read The Friend of Women and Other Stories Online
Authors: Louis Auchincloss
Tags: #Fiction, #Short Stories (Single Author)
M
ISS
E
MILY
(
Turning to her sister
): What
was
it called, Harriet?
M
ISS
H
ARRIET
:
The Ballad Girl.
(ELIDA looks down quickly, and CAROLINE and MRS. HONE stare at each other.)
C
AROLINE
(In a dry, sarcastic tone, to MISS EMILY):
You've told us who lured Miss Harriet on this radical evening. Could you by any chance tell us who lured your fellow Wagnerian, Elida?
M
ISS
E
MILY
(Surprised at her tone):
No, I didn't see who she was with. It was just a glimpse through the crowd. Was it you, Caroline?
C
AROLINE
: No. It was not I. (
To ELIDA
) Was it by any chance that fellow Wagnerian, my husband?
A
LEXANDER
: Now wait a second, Caroline, I can explain all that.
C
AROLINE
(Sharp)
: I'm asking Elida!
E
LIDA
(Nervous):
Why, yes. I don't know who else would have taken me.
M
RS
. H
ONE
(Coming heavily to the rescue):
And why not, Caroline? Wasn't it a good cousinly act on my boy's part?
C
AROLINE
(Ominously bright):
Certainly. It's just that I'm envious, that's all.
The Ballad Girl
happens to be something that I particularly wanted to see myself. As I believe I told you both this afternoon. In my naivete.
A
LEXANDER
(Anxious):
But you were away, Caroline. Anyway, I'd love to go again. It's well worth seeing twice.
C
AROLINE
(Coldly):
Perhaps. Except, of course,
I
wouldn't dream of asking you to take me
now.
M
RS
. H
ONE
(Angrily):
You go to everything in the season, Caroline. Poor Elida has no fun at all, cooped up with an old woman like myself. Must you begrudge her one musical?
C
AROLINE
(Rising):
It doesn't sound to me, Mrs. Hone, as though Elida is so terribly cooped up. And when she is, I'm sure she likes it. With my husband coming in every day on the excuse of seeing you! Good god, it's too degrading to contemplate!
E
LIDA
: Caroline, what are you
saying?
A
LEXANDER
: You can't speak that way to Mother!
(MRS. HONE suddenly leans forward, clutching her chest.)
M
RS
. H
ONE
: My heart! It's my heart again!
(General consternation)
W
INTHROP
(Hurrying to MRS. HONE's side):
Cousin Nellie, can I help you?
(To ELIDA)
Will you call the doctor?
E
LIDA
(Pulling herself together, taking charge):
Wait. It's only one of her spells. I know what to do.
(Going over to MRS. HONE, she takes a pill quickly from the silver box at the table by her side and gives it to her. To the others)
Please, she'll be all right. Go into the dining room and start dinner, will you all? Winthrop, please take them in.
A
LEXANDER
: Are you sure she's all right?
E
LIDA
: Quite sure. Please go in now. She likes to be alone when this happens.
(The others move slowly out door R., glancing nervously at MRS. HONE as they do so.)
E
LIDA
(Alone with MRS. HONE, feels her pulse):
Aunt Nellie, are you feeling better? How is it now?
M
RS
. H
ONE
(Lifting her head slowly and looking at ELIDA hard for a moment):
Go with him. Go off with him.
E
LIDA
(Shocked):
With Alexander?
M
RS
. H
ONE
: You see how she treats us. You see what she thinks of us. She hates us. Free him, Elida! Take him away! Don't let her
win.
E
LIDA
: You seem to forget that he's not mine to go off with. He has two children. He has responsibilities.
M
RS
. H
ONE
(Grunting):
Love. It wasn't that way when I was a girl. My aunt Augusta gave up everything for Prince Mantowski. It was the world well lost. Or can't you young people understand that?
(Sneering)
And you pretend to understand
Tristan.
E
LIDA
(
Trying to make light of it
): But I haven't had a love potion. I believe Isolde behaved quite respectably before she had hers.
M
RS
. H
ONE
(Snorting):
Respectably. That's all any of you care about. Can you
eat
respectability?
E
LIDA
: Don't you think you'd better go to bed now? I can bring you something on a tray.
M
RS
. H
ONE
: A tray? And have Caroline sit at the head of my table? Not likely. I'm going in.
E
LIDA
: Oh, Aunt Nellie. Please! I can't bear it.
M
RS
. H
ONE
: If I can bear it, you can. What are you young for, anyway?
(She gets up very slowly, and ELIDA helps her toward door R. Just as they reach it, it opens and CAROLINE appears.)
C
AROLINE
(Surprised):
Oh. Are you feeling better?
M
RS
. H
ONE
(Snorting):
I'll live. Small thanks to your manners tonight, Caroline.
C
AROLINE
: I came out to speak to Elida.
M
RS
. H
ONE
(Crossly):
We're all going to dine now. It can wait.
C
AROLINE
: I'm sorry, Mrs. Hone. It can't wait. I'll keep her only a few minutes.
M
RS
. H
ONE
(TO ELIDA):
Shall I leave you with her, child?
E
LIDA
: If she wants. Are you all right?
M
RS
. H
ONE
(Shrugging):
Oh, I'm indestructible. It'll take more than Caroline to do me in.
(Exit MRS. HONE door R. CAROLINE closes the door after her.)
C
AROLINE
(After a pause):
I suppose we may as well sit down.
E
LIDA
: Yes.
(They sit. CAROLINE lights a cigarette and puffs at it. ELIDA, absolutely still, looks at the floor.)
C
AROLINE
: I don't so much mind your borrowing my husband, Elida Rodman. As long as it's quite understood between us that I shall be wanting him back.
(Pause as ELIDA, now looking down at her hands, says nothing.)
There are a lot of things I could say that I won't. I think it might be sufficient if I pointed out that you were hired to be his mother's companion. (
With a wry smile
) Not his.
(ELIDA still says nothing.)
Do you hear me?
(Sharply)
I'm speaking to you, Elida!
E
LIDA
(Looking up):
Do you really deduce all this, Caroline, from the fact that Alexander was once kind enough to take me to the theater?
C
AROLINE
(Sniffing):
You may have heard of archaeologists who are able to reconstruct the skeleton of a dinosaur from a single bone of its toe. There you are. Except my discovery turns out not to be a dinosaur at all. It's only a rather small mouse.
(ELIDA looks away. She appears to be concentrating on something else.)
A mouse, I said. (
Angrily
) Don't keep pretending you haven't heard me, Elida!
E
LIDA
(
Turning back to her, with the calm of one who has just made a final decision
): All right, Caroline. I
have
heard you. I was only wondering if you were capable of discussing such a delicate matter as a civilized and sophisticated woman should.
C
AROLINE
(Her eyes widen at this impudence
.): Oh? And have you decided?
E
LIDA
: Yes.
(Nodding)
I think, on the whole, you are.
C
AROLINE
: Thank you!
E
LIDA
(In a new tone, tense, but with increased assurance as she goes ahead)
: What has happened to Alexander and me is not, I suppose, unusual. But to the individuals involved it must always seem like a minor miracle.
C
AROLINE
(Staring):
What do you mean?
E
LIDA
: Simply that we're in love, Caroline. Sublimely, even ridiculously in love.
C
AROLINE
(Sitting up):
Are you
mad?
E
LIDA
(Shaking her head, as if in half-regretful assent):
Oh, yes. Quite mad, I'm afraid. We both are.
C
AROLINE
: No, no, you don't see what
I
mean. I mean
you
may have some feeling, yes, I suppose that would be only natural, but Alexander, well, after all...
(She trails off with an elaborate shrug.)
E
LIDA
(Clearly):
After all
what,
Caroline?
C
AROLINE
(Now condescending):
Well, after all, my poor Elida, I don't deny he may have paid you some little attentionâI know how
he
isâbut to construct a
grande passion
out of a few winks and passes, well, really, my dear, you don't want to make an utter fool of yourself, do you?
E
LIDA
(Noble, dignified):
There were no winks or passes, Caroline. Alexander and I understood each other from the first. It was love, just like that. Very pure and very simple.
C
AROLINE
(Snorting):
That's what you say.
E
LIDA
(Unyielding):
That's what he says.
C
AROLINE
(Startled):
Alexander? He said
that?
E
LIDA
: Of course he said it, Caroline. Do you think I'm making this up? He's said it dozens of times, he to me and I to him, whispered it, shouted itâ
C
AROLINE
: Shouted it!
E
LIDA
(
Nodding
): Even shouted it.
C
AROLINE
(Scared now, shifting her method of attack):
Look, my dear, let's be practical. Just for a moment. Assuming that you and Alexander have had... well, some sort of a thing about each other, even assuming you've been loversâI don't know, the Hones are queer peopleâwhat sort of future do you think there could possibly be in it?
E
LIDA
: I suppose that must depend very largely on the attitude you take.
C
AROLINE
: /take!
E
LIDA
: That's what Alexander says.
I
myself can hardly believe that you will wish to hold a man who has so clearly demonstratedâif you will forgive the expressionâhis preference.
C
AROLINE
(Outraged):
His preference! Of all the impudence! You can't seriously believe that a man in Alexander's position will want to go on with this? Now?
E
LIDA
: Why not?
C
AROLINE
: When his wife knows?
E
LIDA
(Coolly):
But of course it was inevitable that you should know. From the very beginning. I always told him that.
C
AROLINE
(Her eyes bulging):
You can't really think... oh, no, that would be impossible.
E
LIDA
(Calmly):
Can't think what, Caroline?
C
AROLINE
: You can't
really
think that Alexander would leave his wife and children for you?
(Letting herself go)
A country cousin from Maine?
E
LIDA
(Quietly):
It won't do you any good to call me names, Caroline. Surely you owe it to yourself to be rational.
C
AROLINE
(Almost in a scream):
Rational! You have the nerve to sit there and say I should be rational!
(She pauses to swallow and has time to reflect on the vulnerability of her own position)
We'll see who's the more rational. Let us suppose for a moment that Alexander were free to marry you. How would you live? You're probably too much in the clouds to face these small realities. You see how Alexander and I live now, and you've probably assumed, as people like you always assume, that he's the breadwinner. Well, he's not. The money's mine, Miss Rodman. All mine. Alexander has nothing but his salary at my father's bank and a small trust fund. I doubt if the salary would survive the divorce, and you couldn't live on the trust. And I wouldn't count on his mother, either. She's been eating into her capital for years. It must be largely gone by now.
E
LIDA
(Smiling imperturbably):
That kind of thing, Caroline, means less than nothing to Alexander and me.
C
AROLINE
: To you, possibly. You've always been a pauper. But Alexander, I think you'll find, is a horse of a different color.
E
LIDA
(Defiant):
Ask him! You'll see.
(CAROLINE's eyes follow ELIDA's nervously to door R
.)
Ask
him!
(CAROLINE gets up and goes suddenly to door R., which she opens.)
C
AROLINE
(Hoarsely):
Alexander! Alexander, come in here, will you?
A
LEXANDER
(Appearing in door R.):
Caroline, is there something wrong? Why do you look at me like that?
(He enters and closes the door hastily behind him.)