The Fourth Sage (The Circularity Saga) (9 page)

"I know."

"What do you mean, you know? If you know, why don't you want to do something?"

The silence between them is almost impossible for Aries to swallow. She’s never had a fight with Ty. It affects her more than she wants to admit. And yet, the words she spoke, she knows needed to be spoken.

"Ty, we’re being controlled. Our lives aren't ours. We're slaves. We just don't want to admit it."

Ty nods while looking away and down at the DIAG.

"Ty," she says quietly. "Ty, look at me. Look at me, please."

After a moment he lifts his head. Tears run down his grease-darkened cheeks. As Aries is about to continue, he pushes the button on the DIAG once more and the high-pitched sound stops.

"I think we must have gotten an erroneous message yesterday. I'll switch out the oscilloscope on the other DIAG when we get back. Looks like we're done here. Let's close this thing up, shall we?"

Aries can't believe Ty wouldn't tell her more, why he would not want to. Obviously, there are many things he has not told her. She watches him close the bolts in the panel, unable to decide if she should be angry with him or hug him and tell him quietly that she understands. All she feels is confusion. His reaction had come completely out of left field. She’d expected anything but this. When Ty closes the last bolt and slowly gets up from his kneeling position, she grabs the DIAG.

"Let me carry this for you," she says, and hangs it over her shoulder. She's the first to climb the ladder. Ty follows, closes the trap behind them, and they walk quietly toward the door. Ty punches in the code and the door opens. He walks ahead of Aries when they go toward the lift. He lets her enter first, closes the louver and pushes the buttons for their floor. The elevator begins its descent. Both look straight ahead, no expression on their faces. On the inside, Aries has trouble fighting her tears. The whole way down, Ty's callused hand holds hers tight within it.

* * *

Almost ten hours later, Aries sits at a table watching the comings and goings in the dining hall while wondering how many shapes, tastes, and textures one single algae plant can generate. Even though there isn't really that much left of the plant other than a genetic blueprint so ancient that everyone has forgotten that it was once an actual plant.

This has not been an easy day. Ever since this morning, an awkward distance has lingered between her and Ty that she couldn't shake before she left work. She saw Kiire when she got her food. Her first impulse was to talk to him, to ask him how his day was and to ask him about their little friend. But he walked right past her and disappeared into the kitchen. Of course. There can't be any contact between them in public right now. It's too risky.

The integrated wall screens in the dining hall show an advertisement of a man's life in a ninety-minute movie. You can buy a pixilated version for a day's worth of pay. For high quality you have to pay about a week's worth. This is very popular for people who have lost loved ones. And what better place to advertise this than in an orphanage? A lot of the kids are too young but with the older kids, the ones who earn their own wages, this is very popular and profitable for the Corporation. And outside the orphanage, all the workers and families spend a lot of money on this. Because everything is recorded 24-7, you can pay to look back at any part of your life or, if you want to pay more, anybody else's life for that matter.

Forget and adapt,
Aries thinks.
And then carry on as if nothing is wrong. Is this our way of dealing with the situation? To give up, to bury our wish for freedom deep down where not even we can ever find it again?
A few tables away, she watches Seth sit down; the kids sitting at that table get up and walk away. Nobody, Aries guesses, wants to be seen with him right now. It can only reflect badly on them. She watches him eat for a while. Then, more out of an impulse than a clear thought, she gets up, takes her tray, and walks over to him.

"Is this seat taken?" she asks.

Seth looks up, probably not sure what to make of this. He looks around but doesn't see anybody else with her.

"Yes. I mean... no." He clears his throat. "No, it's not taken."

"Thanks," she replies, while sitting down across from him.

They eat in silence for a while.

"I liked your previous haircut better," Aries says.

"Me too," Seth answers quietly. "I'm not sure if you want to be seen... if you want to be seen with me... right now."

"I don't care. We're just talking. What happened?"

There is no answer. Seth tries not to look at her but somehow can't avoid it.

"I'm really sorry I called you Scarlip."

"You weren't the first one. What about your hair? What happened to your hair?"

"I... I just didn't have time..."

Seth begins to shake slightly. His hands, most of all.

"Are you okay? You're shaking."

"I'm fine."

"You're fine as in I'm fine or you're fine as in leave me alone?"

The way he looks at her, Aries can't decide whether he doesn't trust her or if he doesn't want her to get involved.

"I always watched you."

"Excuse me?"

"No, I don't mean it like that."

"Well, thanks."

"No. What I meant to say was, I always saw you. When you came in here, when you entered the room, I always looked up. I mean, ...how you walked and how you carried yourself. There was something about you."

"I hope that something is a good thing."

"Oh, yes. Absolutely. Yes. Good."

"Now, I don't have much experience with this kind of a thing but you gotta work on your introduction a little bit more, you know. 'Cause if what happened the other day was all you got, I don't think you'll have much success. Later on... With us girls. You know?"

"You're not mad?" he asks.

Aries takes a sip of her drink while looking straight at him. "Of course I am. It hurt like hell. But I have a feeling you’ve had a lot of time to think about it."

Seth nods ever so slightly, as if haunted by a memory from somewhere.

"I think I'm gonna go. It was... very nice seeing you." Seth grabs his tray and gets up. "Really nice."

"Okay. Me too, I was... Me too." She watches him leave. When he's at the dish rack, he looks at her once more, a brief smile crossing his face. Then he disappears around the corner. Aries sits there for a while, not quite sure what to make of this. Then she gets up and leaves the dining hall, already thinking about a way to get Born-of-Night to cooperate in order to allow Aries to take her through the ducts and set her free inside the core.

* * *

Aries wakes up with a lingering uneasy feeling. She lies there trying to collect her thoughts.
Let it go,
she thinks. It doesn't seem to work. She ties her hair into a ponytail, puts on black leggings, a sweater, and a wool cap. She opens the vent cover and slides inside. Two minutes later she is at Kiire's vent, slightly out of breath. Her chest still feels as if she has a large weight sitting on it.

"You sure you want to do this?" Kiire sits at the edge of the futon. No hood tonight. "I think she is beginning to feel quite comfortable in here."

"She can't stay. There's no space. She needs to be able to fly."

"But she is safe here."

Aries thinks about this.

"I know."

"Maybe she could tell you... what she wants. Have you asked her?"

"That's not how this works with her. I can only... I can't speak to her. I don't think she would understand a word I am saying to her. Sometimes I get a glimpse of her surroundings but that's pretty much it."

"Yes, but you could ask her," Kiire insists.

"That sounds so silly."

"I know. Might be worth a try, though." Kiire slumps back into the futon as if readying himself to be entertained.

"Okay." Aries stretches out her arm. "Fine. Let's try this. Let's make a fool of ourselves, shall we?" As she looks at Born-of-Night, Aries tries to visualize the hawk landing on her arm. Nothing happens. The hawk is busy cleaning the area under her wings. Aries concentrates on imagining the landing. Nothing.

"That's so silly, Kiire. I told you that's not how it works. She doesn't get what I want her to do and how could she."

"Just give it a minute. And try to connect with her differently."

"How?"

"I don't know. Just... differently."

The hawk is still busy with her cleaning routine. She closes her eyes. Instead of imagining Born-of-Night landing on her arm, she reaches out toward the hawk with her thoughts, trying to feel her presence within herself. At first she can't find her but then she feels the slightest brush against her, like in the shaft the other day. Her presence feels small, fragile, but there nevertheless.

Aries opens her eyes while holding the hawk's presence within herself. And then it happens. Born-of-Night looks up toward Aries. At the same time she can feel the bird’s presence getting stronger within her, as if curtains in front of a window have been opened and the light streams in. The hawk’s presence floods Aries’s mind as Born-of-Night lets out a loud cry, jumps off the coatrack and lands on Aries's arm.

"Cool!" Kiire smiles. "If everything else fails we can always become a circus act."

Aries angles her arm to bring the hawk closer to her face. Born-of-Night looks at her curiously. "What do I say?" she asks.

"Just ask her if she is okay with you letting her free inside the core."

"She neither knows what the core is nor does she understand freedom. Or words, for that matter," Aries replies.

"Ask her anyway."

When she looks at him, she sees a smirk on his face.

"You find this amusing, don't you?"

"A little."

"You're making fun of me."

"To be perfectly honest, yes. I am."

"That is so—"

The sound of immense wind fills her mind. She sees clouds rushing by at tremendous speed. The earth is far below her and it feels as if she is falling…no, diving toward it. Then the movement stops and she sails in absolute stillness far above the ground. Aries gasps for air and the rush of adrenaline makes her dizzy. Then the image disappears. She wavers and steadies herself again.

"What the heck was that?" Kiire asks.

"You understand. You understand what we are saying."

"What happened?" Kiire gets up and goes toward them.

"She knows."

"She knows what?"

Aries looks at him, still unable to fully comprehend what she’s experienced.

"Freedom. She knows freedom, Kiire."

For a few moments, all is quiet in the room.

"Well, I guess you've got your answer," he says.

Born-of-Night is now only a few inches away from Aries's face. "It won't be like outside. But you'll be able to fly and hopefully find some food. That has to do for now."

Born-of-Night moves her head slightly forward, touching Aries's nose with her beak.

"I'm gonna miss you." Aries says.

Aries Free-Born,
she hears in her mind.
I came for you.

Her expression must have been one of complete perplexity.

"What is it?" Kiire says.

"Nothing."

"Nothing." Kiire repeats.

"Yes, nothing. Except, I heard something. In my mind. But it's so preposterous... It's nothing."

"It's either preposterous or it's nothing. But it can't be both," Kiire says.

Aries shakes her head, feeling silly to even think it, never mind saying it out loud. "‘Aries Free-Born, I came for you.’ That's what it said. She said. At least, that's what I heard."

"Really? You know what I hear sometimes?"

"No."

"Get the hell out of here. This is no place for someone as good-looking and as handsome as you are."

Aries laughs out loud.

"Did you say your good-byes?" she asks.

"We had a moment, before you came in."

"Funny."

"Yup. That's me. I'm a funny guy and you have thirty-nine minutes until the loop expires."

"Okay. Thanks. I guess we have to be on our way."

Aries gently picks Born-of-Night up, places her inside her sweater.

"Sorry to have to do this to you," she says, as she closes the zipper. "Before I forget, I wanted to mention something. It might be nothing, but... it happened at work yesterday and the day before."

"What is it?"

"We had a fluctuation in one of the server cubes and it looked really odd on the oscilloscopes. Do you know anything about... oscilloscopes?"

"I get by."

"Of course you do," Aries says, smiling. "Can I draw something on your pad?"