The Fourth Ceremony: The Sacrifice Trilogy (11 page)

After he had left, Alessa beamed at her mother.

“
Thank you, Mother, he would
n’
t have agreed without your suggestion
.”
Alessa stepped forward and embraced her mother. The hug was one that she had
n’
t experienced in a long time. After a few moments in her mothe
r’
s arms Alessa pulled back. The tears swimming in her mothe
r’
s eyes startled her.

“
I want you to enjoy this time, Alessa, do
n’
t hold back. Tell us of your intentions, but do anything that enters your mind, within reason. Please, just enjoy it
.”
Alessa felt tears stinging her eyes again as she grabbed her mother for another hug. After a moment, she turned to embrace her father as well.

“
Thank you both for supporting me. I love you and I am sorry again for any worry that I have caused
.”
Alessa addressed her parents warmly.

“
Go to bed, Lessie, you look like yo
u’
ve had quite a day
.”
Her father said lovingly.

“
I have. Goodnight Mom, Dad
.”
Alessa stifled a yawn at the thought of her bed.

Alessa turned from her parents and headed towards her room. As soon as she turned off the hall of the Common Room, she ran straight into Kh
i’
s chest. She looked around and realized that they were all alone in the expensive hall.

“
Khi, what are you doing there?! Are you trying to kill me
?”
She admonished Khi with an exaggerated whisper.

“
I should, Less, where the hell were you
?”
Khi responded just as vehemently.

“
Khi,
I’
m sorry, I really am. I went around walking and wound up at the Great Cliff. I did
n’
t realize what time it was until I noticed the sun setting. I must have fallen asleep
.”
She felt bad for lying to Khi like that, but could not bring herself to recount the actual tale.

“
Please believe that I did
n’
t mean to sneak off
.”
She begged him.

“
I do
n’
t believe yo
u’
re telling me everything
,”
she cursed how well Khi knew her
,“
but if yo
u’
re okay then ther
e’
s no harm done. Do
n’
t ever do that again
.”
He said menacingly as he pulled her into a tight hug.

“
I wo
n’
t, I promise
.”
She said emotion heavy on her heart as she squeezed him back. He would give her space to sort herself out. He would
n’
t demand answers of her. Khilyn just was
n’
t that pushy.

“
Go to bed, you look like hell
.”
Khi quipped.

“
Why does everyone keep telling me that
?”
She joked back.

Khilyn squeezed her shoulder and turned her towards her room. She walked quickly down the hallway and was grateful to make it to her door unimpeded. She walked through it and closed it quickly behind her.

Alessa leaned against the door as all of the energy she had mustered to face everyone faded away. She felt utterly exhausted. She let out of sigh and crumpled against the door and, not bothering to turn on the light, she allowed her knees to fold under her as she landed in a heap on the floor.

“
Alessa
?”
The voice startled her and she jumped.

“
Wh
o’
s there
?”
Alessa asked with suspension buzzing through her body.

“
Alessa, i
t’
s me, what is going on
?”
She recognized Camde
n’
s voice as he approached her from the couch on other side of the room.

“
Cam, what are you doing here? And in the dark?" Alessa asked, both excited and confused at his presence. She wondered to herself why he more often confused her than anything else since the Carnival.

“
That can wait. Come on and sit down
.”
Camden reached down to her, but she pushed his hands away.

“
Cam, please, just leave. I have nothing left and I want nothing more than to collapse and not move
.”
Alessa pleaded with him.

“
Alright fine, do
n’
t move
.”
He stated simply as he put an arm under her knees and shoulders to pull her into his arms in a swift and easy motion. Alessa was immediately surprised as excitement raced through her body at being in his embrace
.“
There, no moving necessary
.”
He joked as he placed her lightly on the couch.

Alessa sighed dramatically
,“
thank you
.”
She stated flatly
.“
Now would you like to explain why yo
u’
re in my room
?
”

“
I woul
d”
Camden started
,“
but I do
n’
t think i
t’
s the best time. I do
n’
t think you can take any more serious talks so
I’
ll leave you to relax. We can talk anytime
.
”

Camden started to leave. For a moment, Alessa thought to let him. She was tired and Camden was perhaps the most mentally exhausting of all the people she might deal with. However, desire and curiosity won out.

“
Cam, please stay
.”
Alessa said weakly. She chastised herself, as usual, for the clear hope and desire in her voice. She was giving him all of the power, and she was
n’
t even trying to fight it.

Camden froze where he stood. He had made it halfway to the door when her words seem to immobilize him. After a moment he turned towards her slowly. She could not see his face in the darkness, but she thought she could feel his gaze on her.

“
Why do you want me to stay, Alessa
?”
His statement was laced with meaning. Alessa realized that she must give him a good reason, a true reason, if he was going to listen to her request.

“
I do
n’
t know Cam
,”
she started, and just as quickly realized that she lost control of her words
,“
because when
I’
m with you I do
n’
t think about all this crap that is surrounding me and I do
n’
t worry about what people want from me or how quickly they can take my life. Because I am just a normal girl with a silly crush around you and none of the rest of it matters and I feel safe and giddy and like anything in the world can happen and, I do
n’
t know, Cam, because I just do
.”
She realized with a start that it was true. When she was around Camden, she had to convince herself that she did
n’
t trust him because he naturally made her feel like he would chase out all of the bad things from the world for her.

"A crush, huh?" His humor annoyed her. She sighed dramatically and he stayed silent.

Her small speech had come out in a rush and when he did
n’
t respond, Alessa buried her head in a pillow on the couch. It felt like an eternity that they sat like that. Alessa had her face buried and Camden stood frozen in the middle of the room. Alessa wished he would just say that he did
n’
t care about her like that and leave so that she would be free to release her sorrows on her room, but he did
n’
t leave. He simply stood and stared. Finally, her impatience grew to its breaking point.

“
You can leave now, Cam. I have obviously made you uncomfortable. Please chalk it up to the extremely debilitating day I have had and forget I ever said anything
.”
She pulled as much disdain into her voice as she could.  It appeared to do the trick. Camden began to move and Alessa turned away from him to rest her head on the pillow. However, instead of moving to the door, he moved swiftly to her side and wrapped her in his arms as he sat on the couch beside her. Her heart all but stopped.

“
Alessa, I am sorry that I have confused or misled you
.”
Camden started and Alessa felt the air leave her lungs. Was he really going to hold her like this while he told her that he did
n’
t care for her? It was more than she could take.

“
Cam, please, I ca
n’
t
-“
She was interrupted by his mouth on hers. He was insistent this time, the kiss stronger and more demanding than either before it. He pulled her close to him and wrapped both arms around her as he deepened their kiss. His hands trailed her back and pulled softly on her hair. She eventually folded her arms around his neck and he pressed one hand to her face, gently cupping her cheek and trapping her mouth against his.

After some time he pulled his face away from hers, but kept her body pressed against his with the pressure of his arms. He looked into her eyes and she returned his gaze until the stare became uncomfortable and she squirmed out of his embrace.

“
You have got to say something to me, Cam. I am lost
.”
She sighed, breaking the trance.

“
I care about you so much, Alessa. More than I can tell you now. There is so much I ca
n’
t tell you now
.”
Camden shook his head.

“
I do
n’
t understand. What in the world are you talking about
?”
Alessa demanded.

“
Alessa, please, tell me that you trust me. Tell me you trust me and that you will wait until I can say more. I am begging you
.”
Camden pulled her back into his arms and looked intently into her eyes. Alessa did
n’
t know what to do. She was uncomfortable with the secrets between them but she was sure that she was safe in the steady cloak of his arms. So, she did the only thing that she could honestly do. She leaned forward and placed a chaste kiss on his lips.

“
I trust you
.”
She breathed. And with that utterance, she decided that she did. Until he gave her real reason not to, she would trust Camden and allow this experience to go where it might.

He pulled her into a kiss again, this one soft and filled with care. When the kiss had long ended, they laid together on the couch. Alessa stayed awake for a long time listening to Camde
n’
s breathing even out and steady. When she knew he was asleep, she chanced a look up at him. He was beautiful. She caught her breath at how perfect he seemed lying there with his arms around her. She laid her head back gently on his chest and sighed lightly.

“
Ca
n’
t sleep, gorgeous
?”
Her heart skipped at the endearment.

“
Ca
n’
t, do
n’
t want to,
I’
m not sure which
.”
She answered honestly. If she was going to throw her dignity to the wind, she might as well do it whole-heartedly. She felt his body shake as he chuckled.

“
Well, I ca
n’
t possibly think of a better way to wake up
.”
He answered her confession with one of his own, but Alessa could
n’
t place if he was joking or not
.“
But in all honesty, I ca
n’
t stay all night. I need to slip out so no one sees me. I would
n’
t want to blemish your reputation
.”
He said with a wink.

Alessa groaned and wrapped her arms around his chest.

“
Mmmmm, yo
u’
re making this really hard, m
a’
am
.”
Camden settled closer to her
,“
But I do have to leave. I promise I would
n’
t if I did
n’
t have to
.
”

“
Okay, I give up
.”
Alessa pouted as she unwrapped herself from Camden.

“
Go change for bed. I will make sure yo
u’
re comfortable before I leave
.”
Camden said dutifully.

“
Yo
u’
re going to tuck me in to bed
?”
Alessa was
n’
t sure if she should feel flattered or patronized.

“
Of course I am. One last chance for a goodnight kiss
.”
He smiled and pulled her to her feet
,“
How do you feel? Are you steady
?”
He asked, and Aless
a’
s heart leaped at his obvious care.

“
Yes,
I’
m alright now. Thank you Camden
.”
She responded seriously. After a moment of staring into her eyes, Camden blinked and shook his head.

“
Go change
.”
He ordered with little conviction.

Alessa turned and did what she was told. She made sure to put on what she hoped to be attractive pajamas, but tried to not look like she tried. She came up with shorts and a fitted t-shirt. When she came out of the closet she was rewarded with a quick look all over from Camden.

“
You really are trying to kill me
.”
He shook his head at her
.“
Come on
.
”

Alessa allowed Camden to walk her to the bed. She wanted to pull him in with her and inwardly shook her head at her boldness. She barely knew him. They needed to learn about each other, and he needed to share his secrets long before she shared more of herself with him. Deciding to trust him without him giving her the full story was enough.

“
Sleep well, Alessa. I am but a call away if you need anything. Know that I will be thinking about you
.”
Camden whispered into her ear.

He moved to press a kiss against her lips. Soft and sweet, he lingered there for a moment running his hand up her arm. When his hand reached her neck, he pulled back and gently kissed her forehead while his hand blazed a fire onto her neck where he touched.

“
Sweet dreams, beautiful
.”
He murmured, as he turned to the door. Alessa watched him leave and smiled within herself when he stopped at the door and turned for one last look before he was gone.

Chapter 5-

Camden

              Camden leaned against the door and sighed.

             
What are you doing?
He thought, furious with himself. He was on the verge of blowing the mission. He couldn't tell her yet, she wasn't ready to hear it. She wouldn't understand.

              Camden shook himself and decided to go for a walk. His apartment, that's what he needed. He needed to get out of the manor and go somewhere that her influence hadn't breached. Only then could he feel at peace. He swung into Khilyn's hall and was glad to see that Khi's light was still on. He knocked softly on the door in case Khi had fallen asleep without turning out the light.

              "Come in." Khi's voice sounded through the door, he was clearly not asleep.

              "Hey man," Camden said nonchalantly, "you know how I told you I like to keep my own place?" Khi nodded without looking up from his book. "Well I'm going to spend the night there. I will be back in time for the morning brief."

              Camden was careful not to ask permission, he liked Khi, but did not want to further support that Khi was in charge of him. Even if during this assignment Khi was in charge. It did not make Camden happy to think that too many people had the power to tell him what to do. He just heard Khi's half-hearted "
ok
" as he closed the door behind him.

              During the mile-long walk to his apartment, Camden tried to sort through all that was happening with Alessa. His mission was simple: get her to agree. He was instructed to do so by any means necessary. Alessa was crucial to what they were trying to do. Without her the cause would certainly fail. The difficult part was to keep his personal emotions out of the mix. If he started to fall for her, if he cared for her, the mission would be tainted. He needed to be able to see clearly. He knew this. Any personal connection to her would just muddy his judgment. It would keep him from making the difficult decisions. It would make him weak.

              Camden continued down the darkened streets realizing his decision. He must continue to make her fall for him, as she clearly already was, but he must keep his own feelings in check. Anything more than cordial interest could prove to be dangerous to both of them.

              Camden arrived at his apartment just as he concluded what he must do in his mind. As he slipped inside and locked the door behind him, he laid the plan out for himself. He must pull back from her for a little while. He should cultivate her interest but stay far enough away to quell his own burgeoning curiosity. Camden was happy to move about his own space. He warmed himself a cup of tea and settled down with his newest book. After spending a couple of hours reading and relaxing he took himself into the tiny bathroom to take a long, hot shower. Camden allowed himself to linger under the scalding water until his fingers wrinkled. Then, he readied himself for bed, set his alarm, and fell into what he hoped would be a peaceful and dreamless sleep.

              Camden woke long before the dawn as was his typical fashion. He sat up in bed and tried to shake the dreams from his mind. They had not been bad dreams, but they had been disturbing. Of course he had dreamed of her, he had spent most of his evening thinking of what he should do about her. He pulled himself out of bed and set about getting ready for the day. After he was prepared for the day, he allowed himself one last longing look at his peaceful apartment and set down the street towards the prison the Capitol called a Manor.

              Camden arrived for the morning meeting and was met with Alec's exuberance.

              "Hey Cam, how's it going? I heard you didn't stay here last night, where did you go?"

              "I have my own place I stay at sometimes." Camden replied curtly. He disliked Alec. It's not that Alec was a bad guy, but his insistence on doing everything strictly by the rules made it difficult for Camden to carry out his mission.

              "Your own place?" Alec was surprised "Where?"

              "Don't worry about it, Nosy." Camden said rudely. He had little patience after the less than perfect night's sleep he had gotten.