The Fourteen Day Soul Detox, Volume Two (3 page)

“Well, I’ll probably drink
it, but it tastes really gross.”

She giggled furiously.

“But you have to put on your
clothes, otherwise we won’t have time to go get the grass
before gymnastics,” I said, holding out outfit.

Sarah jumped up and put the clothes on.
When I held out her jacket, she immediately shrugged it on also.
“Mom, are you going to drink grass?”

“Yes,” I teased as I
grabbed my purse.

She giggled again, grabbing her
stomach.

I grabbed the other half of my sandwich
and placed our empty plates in the sink. When I turned again, I
caught a flash of black in my vision and looked up to Logan’s
urn. It seemed to be looking down at us. I reached up and ran a
finger over the wolf as I passed, and then took a big bite of my
sandwich.

I opened the front door as quietly as
possible and whispered to Sarah, “Let’s be really quiet,
can you do that?”

I looked up as I pushed the door open
and saw Clarke in his yard. I straightened, putting an arm around
Sarah and holding her to me as I locked my front door.

When I turned, I glanced over into
Clarke’s yard. He leaned down over Buster, the hook of his
leash in one hand. He looked up, meeting my gaze.

“Hey, how’s it going?”
he asked, giving a little wave.

“Hey,” I said, grabbing
Sarah’s hand and turning away with her.

“Well, have a good day,” he
called.

I glanced back at him, but found him
petting Buster.

“Yeah, you too,” I mumbled
as I turned back toward the path and led Sarah to the parking lot.
When we’d reached the car, I glanced over my shoulder once
more, but no one was behind us.

The parking lot for the Health Nut was
thankfully much less crowded than it had been yesterday. Sarah and I
snagged a parking space near the front of the parking lot and had
little trouble walking in.

As we stepped into the short smoothie
line, I leaned down toward Sarah. “That’s the grass,”
I said, pointing toward a glass case of wheat grass on the smoothie
counter.

Sarah smiled at the counter, eyes
lighting up with excitement.

The same lady with hair that looked so
much like dandelion fluff, waited behind the smoothie counter with a
big smile on her face. “What can I get you ladies today?”
she asked us when we stepped up to the counter.

“A wheat grass shot,” I
said.

Sarah squealed again and jumped in
place.

The lady behind the counter smiled down
at Sarah. “You sound excited. Is the wheat grass for you?”
The lady gave me a wink as she said it.

“No!” Sarah shouted.

I laughed before saying, “Sorry,
she’s just excited to see me drink it.”

The woman grinned over at me. “Well,
would you ladies want anything else?”

“Strawberry smoothie!”
Sarah ordered.

“Do you have a kids’ size?”
I asked.

“We do,” she said, pulling
out a twelve-ounce cup.

Sarah continued squealing and jumping
around until I relented. “Alright,” I said.

“Okay, take this up to the
front,” the lady said. There was no line to pay, and when we
returned to the smoothie counter, our drinks weren’t finished
yet. The smoothie lady called out another man’s order, and he
walked past Sarah to get his drink.

“Hey, who’s your favorite
gymnast?” Sarah yelled at the man.

The short, older man turned, gave me a
questioning glance and then looked down at Sarah.

“Hey, who’s your favorite
gymnast?” Sarah called at him again.

“Angel, not everyone has a
favorite gymnast,” I told her, giving her a squeeze and smiling
at the man.

He smiled down at Sarah. “Well, I
do,” he told Sarah with a wink. “Do you know who Sawao
Kato is?”

Sarah shook her head, eyes wide and
focused on the man.

“He is from Japan, like me. One
of the best gymnasts who ever lived. You should look him up.”

Sarah nodded at the man and looked down
at her feet.

“Thank you,” I said to him.

He gave me a small smile and a nod, and
then walked past us, sipping his smoothie.

“Wheatgrass shot, Strawberry
Sunshine,” the smoothie lady called out to us.

“You ready for this?” I
asked Sarah as I brought the wheatgrass shot to my mouth. I lowered
it. “You want to taste it first?”

“No!” she shouted as she
jumped up and down excitedly, waving her hands in the air.

“How about smell it? You want to
smell it?”

“No!” she shouted again,
and then gave another squeal.

“Okay.” I brought it to my
lips. “I’m going to drink it.” The smell hit my
nose before I downed the shot. Maybe it was because I was so prepared
to be disgusted this time, but the astringent grass taste did not
overwhelm me. It was less bitter than I remembered.

For Sarah’s benefit though, I
stuck out my tongue and said, “Oh, yuck.”

She giggled, jumping up and down in a
circle.

“Okay, angel, here’s your
smoothie. Let’s head to gymnastics, yeah?”

She beamed all the way to the car.

“I’m going to drink that if
you don’t,” I told her as I fastened her into her
booster, pretending to lean down and take a sip.

“Hey Mom! That’s not
yours,” she shouted as she pulled her drink away and stuck the
straw in her mouth.

“Okay, okay, you keep it.”
I smiled and closed her door.

The gymnastics studio was on the other
side of town, up through the industrial buildings and tucked back in
an office complex. I parked in the small empty lot that hugged the
side of the warehouse building. Sarah’s seatbelt clicked the
moment I parked the car. She tried to pull open her door, but groaned
when it didn’t open.

“Wait,” I told her, exiting
the car and opening her door. “Wait for me to cross the—”
I grabbed Sarah’s arm as she made to run for the building.
“Stop! Sarah, this is a parking lot, it’s dangerous.”

Sarah tugged against my grasp as I shut
both our doors.

“Sarah, do we need to practice
getting out of the car again? Or can we be safe?” I said
through gritted teeth. I held my breath as a car passed, speeding
through the parking lot.

Sarah danced in place, eyes focused on
her gym. “Be safe!” she yelled, and even though she was
shouting, she stopped tugging on my arm.

“Okay, angel, look now that
there are no cars we can cross and be safe.”

As we walked up to the glass doors on
the warehouse, the doors opened.

“Hey ladies, nice to see you,”
Sarah’s coach Heidi called with her thick Texan accent, as she
stuck her head out of the door. She propped the door open by kicking
down the door’s stand.

Sarah ran up to Heidi, throwing her
arms around her.

Heidi leaned over, barely a foot taller
than Sarah. “Hey, monkey, you driving your mama bananas, or
what?” She leaned back. “Saw you by your car. You scared
me running toward the parking lot like that. Remember to wait for an
adult every time you cross the street.”

Sarah nodded furiously, her eyes wide
and expression intent.

“Okay there, sweetie, go on in
and start stretching while I talk to your mama,” Heidi said,
stepping back and gesturing for Sarah to go in.

Heidi patted my arm, “How’s
everything going?”

“Fine. She had a pretty good
week, nothing too major happened. But the principal did mention she’s
been doing gymnastics on the playground.”

Heidi grabbed up her mass of curly,
gray-streaked red hair while she listened to me, grabbing it all
together in a messy bun the size of her head. “Oh, I’ll
definitely to talk to her about that,” she said, nodding.

“Thanks. Lately every time I tell
her to do anything, Sarah just tells me ‘no’. But she’ll
listen if you tell her,” I said.

“Well, that won’t do. But I
do think that it’s rather typical, especially at her age. We’ll
have a little talk about needing to listen for safety, if you don’t
mind,” she said.

“Please, have at it,” I
said with a grateful smile.

“Alright, well, go ahead and take
a load off for a while. I brewed a whole pot of coffee for you as
well, so help yourself.”

“Oh, thanks,” I said,
biting my lower lip as I turned away and headed toward the benches
near Heidi’s office. I glanced at the long line of gymnastics
team photos spaced along the wall. Gleaming gold and silver trophies
jutted out from every flat surface, ribbons hanging from their bows.
Sitting down, my eyes found the words emblazoned in white, ‘Every
Champion was Once a Beginner’ contrasting out from its black
background.

Taking a seat on the bench closest to
the office, I leaned back against the wall. Across the room, Heidi
stretched along with Sarah, moving through their usual routine.

The room buzzed with a sound that was
nearly silence, but not quite—an echoing quiet. Closing my
eyes, I let the wall behind me take all my weight. My fingered
threaded through the holes in the bench, and I grabbed onto the
metal.

Opening my eyes, I grabbed my purse
from where I had dropped it on the floor and pulled out my cell
phone. I scrolled to Susan’s number and texted her.

Me:
I
think I did number twelve early. Last night actually.

I held my phone on my lap as I watched
Sarah move into some of her exercises. She stood on her head upside
down, practicing quick kicks back, then slower, then quick again.
They ran across the floor, practicing different moves each time. My
phone buzzed, pulling my attention away.

Susan:
Shit.
I’m sorry. What happened?

Me:
I
acted stupid, went about it in the worst possible way. We got in a
fight. This morning he said he needed some time away to figure out
his head.

Susan:
How
you holding up?

Me:
Pretty
well on the outside. On the inside, I think I’m shattering.

Susan:
Want
me to come take over?

Me:
No.
I need to hold it together. I have to go to a movie and then that
barbeque. As for me and Cameron, it’s probably the right thing
anyway.

Susan:
’Probably’ doesn’t sound too sure.

Me:
‘Probably’
doesn’t feel too sure either. ‘Probably’ feels like
shit.

Susan:
If
you need to duck out of the barbeque just text and I’ll cover
for you.

Me:
I
think I need the barbeque.

Susan:
If
you say so. I’ll see you there then.

“Hey.”

Surprised at the voice, I glanced up to
find my sister Amy standing over me. A hesitant expression played on
her lips as she regarded me. She pointed to the space beside me. “Is
this seat taken?”

I scooted down a little. “It’s
all yours,” I said.

She sat, her gaze drifting to Sarah and
Heidi practicing on the beam. “This place brings back
memories,” she said.

“Yeah. You know your picture is
still on the wall over there.” I pointed to one of the team
photos down the wall. “You have that super early-nineties
hairdo.”

Her lips twitched, but her gaze didn’t
wander. “I’m so glad Sarah got in with Heidi.”

“Yeah, me too. You really made it
all happen for her,” I said, watching the pair.

We were silent for a long time before
Amy said, “So, I’m assuming you’re still mad at
me.”

I looked over at her. Her thick, dark
brown hair draped around her face so perfectly, she could have been
at a photo shoot. She stuck her stiletto boot out in front of her, as
if she was examining it, but I could tell her attention was fixed on
me.

“I’m not sure mad is the
right word,” I said with a sigh. “Maybe more like
mistrusting.”

She sucked in her lips, closing her
eyes and breathing in heavily through her nose.

“That sounded worse than I
meant,” I told her, shaking my head. “It just felt like
everyone decided that I’m too incompetent and weak, and decided
to take over my life.”

“I don’t think you’re
either,” Amy said, finally looking over.

I laid my head back against the wall.
“Yeah, thanks. I can’t help but feel like both a lot of
the time.”

“If you think you’re weak,
you should probably reexamine your idea of strength. You’ve
always been this warrior woman, this warrior mom. You’re just…
I don’t think that you’re not managing, Jamie. I couldn’t
manage everything you do, not even close.”

“I’m just…?” I
said, raising an eyebrow.

“Just stuck,” she said.

“Maybe you’re right. I…
I’m going to change a couple things.”

After a pause where she continued to
look at me expectantly, she said, “Like?”

“I made a list.”

Her eyes widened and a smile spread
across her face.

“Oh my goodness, all I need to do
is say the word ‘list’ and you pee your pants.”

“Don’t pick on me, I love
lists. What kind of list did you make?”

“A fourteen-day soul detox. I’m
on day two, and it’s scary as a hell. I’m supposed to do
one thing a day every day.”

“What’s today’s?”

“Gain some weight,” I said.

“You made this all up?” She
sounded skeptical.

“Susan,” I said.

“That makes more sense. So you
have fourteen things to do?”

“Thirteen, I vetoed one.” I
looked away.

“Is it what I’m guessing?”
she asked in a quiet voice.

“Probably. I’m just not
ready yet,” I said in an equally quiet voice. “I’m
not ready for a lot of the things I’m supposed to do, either.”

“Like what?”

I leaned down and pulled out my wallet
from my purse, extracting the note from where I stored it in the bill
fold. “Here,” I said, handing it to her.

Her eyebrows slowly hiked up her
forehead as she read the list. “Wow,” she said when she
was finished.