The Forrests (2 page)

Dot and Eve agreed that they hated their father. ‘There’s truth in jokes,’ he said. ‘That’s why they’re funny,’ and Dot would spend days willing herself not to laugh, even when Michael burped at the table, or their father used that phrase ‘… and it’s a rather large but’, or their mother said, ‘I don’t have a sense of humour. My family never laughed. Ours was a house without laughter.’ Or, ‘Frank, you’re brilliant. They’ll regret this.’ Somebody else always wanted to keep their father
down
, or out, or to suppress his critical
view
. Lee was his cheerleader. She did star-jumps around him, high-kicked down the alopecic hallway carpet, give me an F!

Why did they hate their father? For more than his views on comedy, for more than the way he viewed other people as a series of hostile gatekeepers, keeping him from the gold of life. Because their mother loved him more than she loved the kids? Write it in the sky. OK, another question. Why, for decades, would he still appear in Dorothy’s dreams? And why wouldn’t he speak! In life he’d say things like, ‘Ninety per cent of success is showing up,’ and that’s what he did long after his death, a bad joke.

*  *  *

1970, the year Dorothy was ten, their mother managed to save up and at last Frank went, in his large navy winter coat and carrying a briefcase full of black-and-whites from
The Good Person of Szechuan
and
Ubu Roi
, his blond hair combed down carefully with water, which Dot knew would dry before he got there. This worried her greatly, that her father would walk the streets of Manhattan with boofy hair completely unaware of the whispers and laughs, and in his absence she forgot to hate him, and maybe knew on some core level that all this rage was love that had nowhere to go. What did Manhattan mean? She could only remember living here, now, though she and Eve at night in bed told stories of that alternative family, the ones who never left, living out their days in a sparkle of fairy lights and pine boughs, glittering ice powder spraying from their skates as they twirled and twirled around that legendary rink.

The first morning Frank was gone, their mother woke early to hear someone in the house, moving around downstairs. She tied her thin floral robe around her and followed the noises, floating on the helium of fear. The kitchen door was open. That boy, Daniel, sat at the table with his back to her. She took in his slim shoulders, the newspaper in front of him, steam rising from the kettle. He was writing on the paper and when she said, ‘Good morning,’ and walked around the side of the table he smiled and said, ‘Hi, Lee. Hope you don’t mind me doing the crossword.’ He twiddled the ballpoint between his fingers and thumb so it became a plastic blur.

‘Did you stay the night in Michael’s room?’

‘Yeah.’ His smile was relaxed, as though everything was normal, as though in fact he lived here.

‘Good.’

Daniel took his cereal bowl to the sink. More than half of the crossword had been filled in. When he rinsed the bowl and wiped it and put it away he also wiped the bench. She watched his familiarity with where things belonged. He said, ‘I have to go to work now.’

‘Where do you work?’

‘At the taxi company. I clean the cars. Just on the weekends.’

‘OK.’

‘See you later. Hey this plum tree up the road has got heaps of plums, do you need any?’

Lee stared into the fruit bowl, where two apples lay next to a giraffe-skinned banana. Her brain was fuzzy.

‘It’s not a private tree or anything. It’s on the verge. I’ll bring them later.’

‘Thanks,’ she said, and he wiped the air with his palm in a low wave as he left the kitchen. She heard the front door being carefully closed. Daniel was thirteen.

Lee walked quickly back up the stairs to check Michael and he was there, still, oval mouth open, in his single bed, the candlewick bedcover half slid to the floor, his body nearly filling the whole mattress now, weighty with sleep. There was a neatly rolled sleeping bag placed on a pillow in front of the wardrobe door.

She took the children up north, to the wimmin’s commune, Hungry Creek, while Frank was gone, waking them from their beds one midnight and hurrying them out to where a strange van idled, packed already with their stuff. Daniel, who hadn’t stopped sleeping over, came with. He jiggled with excitement behind Evelyn and Dot, turning his head from one to the other and pretending
to double take. ‘Don’t you ever get confused,’ he said, ‘wake up one day thinking you’re the other one?’

‘We’re not twins.’ Dorothy wanted to sink down and close her eyes, but the night pressed against the windows and she knew anything might happen.

‘You’re practically identical.’

‘We’re not even fraternal.’

‘That would mean you’re brothers,’ Daniel said. ‘Fratricide is when you kill your brother.’

‘Really?’ said Dorothy. ‘What is it when you kill your brother’s friend?’

The van smelled of sandalwood, and dust burst slowly from the velvet-and-corduroy patchwork cushions whenever they were bumped. They drove under randomly spaced streetlights. In synch, Dorothy and Evelyn sucked back a puff of Ventolin from their inhalers.

Michael said, ‘Are there snakes in the creek?’

‘Eels,’ said the woman driving, a woman they didn’t really know called Rena, who was a new friend of Lee’s and wore a headscarf over an incredible bush of copper hair.

Rena washed herself under the outside shower, where the water collected above the nozzle in a black polythene bag and was slightly warmed by the sun, and she crossed the path to her cabin still naked, wearing her towel around her neck like the changing-room athletes Dorothy had seen in magazine advertisements for deodorant, only they wore aerobics leotards or tennis whites. Rena, with her springy hair and strong body, did not use deodorant.

It was strange being in this place without television or a flushing toilet. Dot lay in the children’s cabin on a bunk bed, on top of the thin red sleeping bag, sloughed like a cocoon over the foam mattress, yellow and bitten, that covered the plywood bunk base, and she wept over
The Little Mermaid
and for all her selfishness. When her father returned she would love him with an open heart. In the bunk opposite, Daniel stretched out on his stomach, reading a tattered comic. He gave off the tangy smell of hay.

‘Daniel,’ she said, wiping her face on the flannel sleeping-bag lining, ‘how come you’re not living with your family?’

For a moment she wasn’t sure whether he’d heard. His knees were bent, dirty-soled feet in the air. Eyes still on the comic, he told her that his dad was in between lodgings and his mother had a new boyfriend. ‘Didn’t Lee say?’ He turned a page.

‘No. She might have.’ Where was Eve? It had been a long time with no Eve. Dorothy stretched as her sister came through the doorway. ‘I was looking for you,’ they both said at the same time, and Evelyn added, ‘Do you want to play go home stay home?’

Dot held the book up. Eve came and lay beside her on the bunk, her body warm, and she put her cheek against her neck and held her bare arm and walked her fingers up from her wrist to the crook of her elbow. They whispered to each other. Daniel farted, and the potato-ish smell drifted over to the girls and they giggled and paddled the air as though drowning. He ignored them.

The sunflower stalks were thick and bristly, and the faces of the flowers too large to be beautiful, collared with pointed amber petals. Dorothy helped shake the seeds from the carpety black
flower heads onto a white canvas sheet that had been spread in the light outside the cookhouse. She and Evelyn worked together, alongside an older girl who had changed her name by deed poll to Name. Name had got her face tattooed. She had a heart-shaped face and the tattoo was a love-heart outline framing all her features, tapering to a point at her chin, making it clear that the phrase ‘heart-shaped face’ was inexact.

Name worked for hours in the vegetable plot, hoeing and raking and digging, muscled shoulders moving up and down from the bow of her collarbone. Always a marmalade cat followed her, padding around as though inspecting the work. The sisters weeded along the rows, dirt packed beneath Evelyn’s nails, ingrained in Dorothy’s knees, everyone humming to ‘Cheryl Moana Marie’. They chewed peppery nasturtium leaves and Name rubbed the clinging earth off two radishes with her big square thumb and passed them to the girls. She told them the story of Rapunzel as though it had really happened, or was an anecdote they might never have heard. Name smoked a lot of weed and from the way she talked it seemed she believed that the story was true. Later, in the privacy of their cabin, the Forrest girls agreed that they feared for her.

Days passed free of lessons and duties. Time belonged to the sunlight, and the Forrests’ stay might have been a week or several months. The kids played rounders into the twilight, and hung around the scarred wooden table in the cookhouse, playing gin rummy and trying to be invisible while the wimmin passed a joint between them and bitched about the patriarchy. In the afternoons the best place to dodge the working bees was in the stand of native trees surrounding the stream. The children waded through sticky
long grass to get there, biddy-bids catching on their shorts, the small diamonds of grass-flower scales in their hair.

There were glow-worms in the bushes that edged the compound and in the darkness their clusters mirrored the sky above so that Michael wondered if he was standing the right way up. A giggle floated from him, answered by the low hoot of a night bird. His neck still felt hot and bruised where Rena had kissed him and he rubbed at it as though the fact of the event might go away. It was confusing to be repulsed by her, her old mouth, her tongue pushing into his mouth, the possum smell of her hair, but also to be pleased she liked him, even though he had that coughing fit from the marijuana smoke, eyes leaking and nose running, his chest on fire before the weed dooshed off in his brain like a slow-motion water bomb. The candle in Rena’s cabin had hardly lit the place and they’d sat side by side on the bed. After a few more puffs, the wetness of the cigarette paper where her lips had been, he’d dropped the joint and the fear of burning the cabin down flared in his mind but she kicked it aside uncaringly and kissed him.

Now he felt a sticky shame that an uncertain amount of time had passed before he jerked away – that his hand had risen to her breast because man he wanted to know what a woman’s breast felt like, it was one of his main life goals so far. Her throaty moan when he touched her was awful. He’d snatched his hand away and she put it back there, moved her fingers up between his legs, grabbed him and he wanted to stay there holy shit a woman was touching his dick but then her hand was on the back of his neck pushing
his face towards her lap, she let go her grip a bit to pull her shorts down and he got to his feet and knocked over the enamel nursery-rhyme candle holder, the light source suddenly out. The door wasn’t where he’d thought and for a long few seconds he hit against the rough battened wall, feeling for a way out, Rena laughing huskily from the bed. And here he was in the darkness, mosquitoes at his ankles and knees, hungry.

He didn’t know how long he was there looking at the glow-worms or the stars. Time breathed around him, his feet bare in the juicy grass, until the savoury smell of cooking made him realise he was cold and hungry. A small light led him to the cookhouse, which he arrived at more quickly than he expected, surprised that home was so close to the wilderness. Through the doorway he could see his mother at the coal range stirring a pan, the frying onions maybe the best thing he had ever smelled, and he wanted to put his arms around her gentle body.

‘Lee,’ he said, his voice breaking, but then Rena appeared beside Lee, a hand on her shoulder. ‘Come in, Mike,’ she said. ‘You must be starving. You can help me set the table.’

Inside, the battery-powered overhead light made him blink. Rena poured him a drink of water, cold and sweet. He had another, and another, facing the sink so as not to have to look at her. His bladder was bursting but he didn’t know how to leave. A plate of onions and cheese was a hundred miles away on the table. Rena was staring at him so intensely she may as well have been shouting ‘aaaaahhhh’ in his face. Slowly he raised his head looking for his mother. Where was she? And Daniel bounded in, shook off the night air like a dog, snapped the room back into
one piece and low-fived him. ‘Hey man, there you are. Lee, can we take dinner to our cabin? We’re in the middle of a card game.’

‘OK,’ she said, ladling stir-fry into two wonky pottery bowls. ‘Remember you can’t put these down or they’ll fall over. Hold them in your lap.’

Michael watched them talking, beings from another planet. His eyelids itched.

‘Cool,’ said Daniel, ‘I’ll send the girls in for some too.’

‘Bring the bowls back and wash them.’ Lee no longer came at bedtime to make sure the candles were extinguished and the children tucked in. She scraped vegetable peelings into the compost bucket and said, ‘Night, boys.’

‘Goodnight,’ said Rena from the doorway. She brushed her hand along Mike’s leg as he squeezed past. He hurried to catch up with Daniel, help him carry the food.

Between two pine trees, Eve watched Daniel, not far away, looking at something in his hands. The ground beneath the pines was white and sandy, and the pine needles smelled sweet, and the bark beneath Evelyn’s palm was thick, spongy. She peeled off a crust. Daniel held his hands towards her and Evelyn saw the rabbit, not much bigger than a tennis ball, its ears laid flat against its shoulders, the bark-grey fur soft even to look at, like a layer of mist. The rabbit was very still, eyes black and wet, small river stones, and the space between the trees was full of its quick heart beating. Daniel held the creature lightly, one hand cupped over its hindquarters. Evelyn reached out a finger and stroked its back.

‘Do you want a hold?’ he said.

‘OK.’ She thought it would be claws and scrabbling but the animal plopped unresistingly into her hands, and Daniel drew his away and she felt vaguely stuck, feet rooted to the earth and the small warm body nestled against hers. It was very light, belonging only to itself.