The Forgiving Heart (The Heart of Minnesota Book 1) (19 page)

             
Ellie stopped her, “What happened to the other people?”

             
Karlijna took a deep breath, “We discovered they had been killed.”

             
Ellie stood up and paced, “How can you not hate these people?  They took you from your home, separated your family,
killed
your family, killed all these other people just by deciding they should go into another line.”

             
“One line lives and the other,” Ellie’s volume increased, “someone points a finger and sends the other line to death.”

             
“Our battle is not against flesh and blood,” Sig spoke up.

             
Ellie shook her head, “But it was flesh and blood doing it!”

             
Karlijna remained where she was, “I'm not saying I haven't had trouble, Ellie. My mother was forever reminding me to pray so I would not become hardened to what was around me. I know she prayed that over me while she should have been sleeping.”

             
“She was a wise woman to be more concerned for your heart than for your life.”

             
Karlijna swallowed a sob, “I'm sure she thought it was all I had left.”

             
“Did you get your number when you went inside?”

             
“Yes,” Karlijna returned to the story, “my mother, sister, and I should not have been marked because we were political prisoners – not Jews, but they made a mistake.”

             
“Did it hurt?”

             
Karlijna laughed a little, “Yes it did. Veronike was so brave, she didn't even make a squeak. She cried more when they shaved her head.”

             
“We worked for months with no warm clothes. Some had uniforms and wooden shoes, some of us had other clothes. We had very little to eat and the sleeping buildings were without doors.  We were beaten with a stick or kicked if we did something wrong or if the guard was unhappy. 

             
“Mama was allowed to stay with Veronike as the children’s keeper. She watched over all of the children in the camp. It was also her sad job to carry the child to the brick building if he died and to tell the mother.  That was terrible for her – telling the mother.”

             
Sig and Ellie nodded in understanding.

             
“Trains came and left all day long. Many times we never saw the prisoners from those trains – they were immediately killed upon arriving.

             
“One day my mother was told by the Kapo – the guard – to go get something from another building. She went away from the children and when she returned she found all the children in the back of a truck.

             
“She cried out for them all by their names to climb out to run – and was beaten by a guard.”

             
Ellie turned and cried into her mother's shoulder.

             
Karlijna had to stop speaking as she remembered the screaming from the women's camp when the mothers realized their children were being hauled off to die. Some of the women tried to go after their little ones and were shot, some attacked the guards, others sat down and wept. The camp lost many women that day because once her children were dead, many of them felt there was nothing worth fighting for anymore.

             
“Your mother?” Ellie whispered.

             
“My mother kept crying out, 'They have names; they all have names.'  The guard beat her until she stopped.

             
“I ran to my mother, certain the woman would take her stick to me next, but I needed to be with my mother. She could barely breath, but she spoke to me. She said, 'God is still good. Jesus is still your Savior' She tried to say more, but I could not understand her. Then she died. The guard called another woman to drag her away to be stripped and cremated.”

             
“They cremated the people?”

             
“They had to do something with the bodies. It was easier than burying them.”

             
“Did you escape right after that?”

             
Karlijna stood up and walked around, “I'm not sure how long I was there after that. All the days were the same. One day I was told to go to the decontamination room with another group of women . We had been there long enough to realize the room was for killing not cleaning, but we went. They told us to take off our clothes and throw them in a pile on the floor. We did as we were told, all the time knowing, this was our day to die. We could hear the commotion in the room beyond. They must be emptying it of the bodies. Some of the women became frantic and were screaming to be released. Some were very accepting of it.

             
“I tried to remember what Mama said, that God is still good. I stood in the middle of the room and spoke as loudly as I could, 'God, are you not still good?'  the guard slapped me and told me to hush, but I could not stop, I said, 'Jesus, you are my Saviour.'  The guard was about to slap me again when her hand stopped like someone was holding her back.

             
“'What did you just say?' she asked.

             
“'Jesus is my Saviour.' I replied, no longer afraid of what she could do to me. I knew she could not have my soul. 'You may kill this body, but my soul is about to go to be with Jesus.'”

             
Ellie and Sig were staring up at her, so she sat down.

             
“What did she say to that?” Ellie asked.

             
“She grabbed my wrist and said, 'You are marked as a Jew. The Jews don't believe in Jesus.'  I told her I was marked as a child of God.

             
“'Are you a Jew or not?' she yelled at me.

             
“I said, 'I was born a Gentile, I am a Christian, and I will die with the Jews because my father knew God hated what was happening to the Jews.'

             
“The guard swore and told me to put my clothes back on then told me to get out. As I was hurrying to obey, the other women in the group called out to Jesus. I heard the guard tell them to be quiet.  Some did and some didn't, but they all went in to the room where they were poisoned with gas until they died.”

             
“They cried out to Jesus?”  Sig had not heard that before.

             
“Does that mean He will welcome them?”  Ellie wanted to know, “Will he welcome those women into his kingdom?”

             
Sig shook her head, “I don't know, sweetheart.  Only God knows the heart. I'd like to believe some of them are sitting with him today.”

             
Karlijna nodded, “I have wondered that many times.”

             
“So what did they do with you then?”

             
Karlijna smiled a little, “Nothing. There was nobody with me because I was supposed to be dying with everybody else.  So I left.”

             
“You left?”  Ellie's face showed her disbelief.

             
“It was like Peter just walking out of jail. I was near a spot where the gate was not locked. It was only locked at night because they took some of the bodies outside of the camp. I left and kept walking until I reached a tree. I climbed up in the tree to wait for dark.  I didn't really have a plan except to get outside of those walls. God caused a near-empty truck to drive by. It had no covering, and I jumped in.”

             
Ellie laughed, “Where did the truck take you?”

             
Karlijna told her how she got out of Poland and into Sweden.

             
“I was blessed along the way with people who treated me with kindness, who took me in and loved me.”

             
“What is Uncle Torkel's boat like?”

             
Kalrijna laughed, “I can't remember much, but I think it smells like fish.”

             
Sig laughed with her, “I should think so.”

CHAPTER
TWENTY-ONE

Karlijna was glad that Ellie's som
ber mood that day didn't last. She was soon back to her chipper, energetic self.

             
“Do you know what we should do this afternoon?” she asked Karlijna as they went through the lunch line, “We should go roller-skating in the park.”

             
“I haven't roller-skated since I was ten,” Karlijna scoffed.

             
“All the more reason to do it now,” Ellie giggled.  “You can wear my old pair since your feet are smaller than mine.”

             
Sig didn't seem to think it was a bad idea, “Just be sure to be home in time to get ready for Wednesday church service. It is very muddy out there, and you'll need extra time.”

             
Karlijna found that she had lost her sense of balance since she last skated.

             
“Go on ahead of me, Ellie,” she laughed. “You get to the bandshell and then come back toward me,” she looked down at her feet, “Maybe I'll still be upright, and maybe I won't.”

             
Ellie grinned and went on ahead, “I'll see how many times I can get there and back to you before you reach it.”

             
Ellie skated off while Karlijna trudged on. As it turned out, Ellie didn't skate back toward Karlijna after all. Once she arrived at the bandshell, she saw a young man from her history class and stopped to chat.  Occasionally, she would look at Karlijna and wave with great enthusiasm. The boy didn't stay as long as it took Karlijna to arrive, so Ellie skated back toward Karlijna.

             
“We'd better start heading back. At that pace you are going to still be here when it is time for church.”

             
“I know it,” Karlijna was very glad to be allowed to turn around.  “The good news is it is slightly down hill going this wa-a-a-ay!”

             
Ellie wondered, as she skated after Karlijna, why that would seem like a good thing. She also thought, a bit too late, that she had forgotten to ask if Karlijna knew how to use the brakes. That question was answered soon enough. Karlijna did manage to stop, but it was by landing in a large, and fairly deep, mud puddle.

             
She looked up at Ellie dismay covering her features, “Your mother was right about us needing more time to clean up than usual.”

             
Ellie was laughing so hard she couldn't maintain her balance, “I'd better sit down or I'll fall in too.”

             
“I wish you would,” Karlijna attempted to stand up twice before she actually succeeded.

             
The girls slogged back home, skates slung over their shoulders, “Ronald Kendrick told me you have a pretty mouth.”

             
“Is that who you were talking to?”

             
“Don't you think he's cute?”  Ellie didn't answer the question.

             
“I wonder if boys would like it if they knew girls call them cute,” Karlijna giggled.

             
“Probably not. Did you hear what I said about your mouth? He thinks it's pretty. He also thought we were cousins. I was going to try to explain it to him that you weren't, but them I realized you kind of are my cousin because you were like Uncle Leif’s daughter. So I didn't.”

             
“How is anyone's mouth prettier than another's?”

             
“I don't know, but I think he has pretty eyes.”

             
“There you go again. I don't think boys want to be pretty or cute.”

             
Ellie giggled.

             
Sig was appalled at the mess Karlijna had made of herself, “Good Heavens! You certainly took me seriously about getting dirty. Go upstairs and take a bath. You may need two to get clean.”

             
Fifteen minutes later, Karlijna stepped out of the tub and wrapped a towel around herself. Using the edge of the towel, she dried the steamy mirror, but to no avail.  It immediately was recovered by the warm bathroom fog.

             
Karlijna didn't really need to look at herself anyway. She laughed at her own vanity. Hearing that one person thought she had a pretty mouth had certainly done her no good. Now, she could do little but wonder what made it pretty.

             
“Are you coming out soon, Karli?”  Ellie knocked as she spoke through the door, “I'd like to wash my hair before church.”

             
“Sorry,” Karlijna threw on her robe and used the towel to make a turban for her wet hair as Ellie had once demonstrated. She opened the door.

             
“I'm afraid I was trying to admire my mouth.”

             
Ellie giggled, “It is, after all, the prettiest mouth I've seen.”

             
Karlijna turned red and gave Ellie a little shove.  Ellie responded by knocking the towel from Karlijna's head before ducking into the bathroom and closing the door.

             
Karlijna instinctively reached up to capture it just as Sara was passing her in the hall.

             
Sara gasped and reached for Karlijna's arm. She circled the younger girl's wrist with her fingers and used the other hand to push up the sleeve of Karlijna's robe.

             
“What have you done to yourself?”

             
Karlijna gently tugged her arm back to herself, “I didn't realize you were back from Melba's house.”

             
“No wonder you always wear long sleeves. I told Melba it wasn't because you were always cold.”

             
Sara's tone was as snide as usual and Karlijna had no intention of answering it.

             
“Do you write your answers on your arms?  Is that how you've done so well in school?” she sniffed, “I told Melba nobody was that smart.”

             
Karlijna stood up straight, looked down her nose at Sara and said, “Well,
I
am,” before marching into her bedroom.

             
A few minutes later, Sara was surprised to find her mother laughing at the story,” She really said that? Good for her.”

             
“Mother,” Sara snapped, “how can you laugh about such a thing? She's cheating on all her tests.”

             
Sig sobered, “I suppose you are right. It is no laughing matter that you accused Karlijna of cheating.”

             
“If you saw her arms you would –”

             
“I have seen her arm. If you would get to know her instead of spending all your time with Melba, you might understand.”

             
“Melba is in the same situation I am. We're both waiting for the men to come home so we can get married. She understands why I am so angry with the Germans – none of you do.”

             
Sig cleared her throat, “Who is Melba waiting for?”

             
Sara's jaw dropped, “I can't believe you don't know.”

             
Sig shook her head, “I think Melba is mistaken if she thinks your brother has any feelings for her.”

             
Sara huffed, “Why would he write to her so often then?”

             
“He writes to her?” Sig hated to think her son would lead Melba on like that.

             
“He writes to her a lot. She just got one yesterday, in fact.”

             
Sig's eyebrows went up.

             
“See?” Sara asked, “Even we haven't gotten one for the past week.”

             
Sig tucked this information away for future reference.

             
Melba waved at the Gunderson family as they came into church. Only Sara waved back.

             
Ellie whispered into Karlijna's ear, “Melba is trying to get friendly with our family so she can have Michael when he gets back.”

             
Karlijna was not going to enter into gossip about anyone, but she did wonder if it was true – and if it would work.

             
Following the service, Karlijna went back to the house and sat down to write a letter to Michael.  She couldn't do it, though. She was unable to set aside what Ellie said about Melba. 

             
Maybe Michael was going to marry Melba. The thought did not sit well with Karlijna. He was a good man and Melba seemed. . . Karlijna couldn't put her finger on it, but she didn't seem like she was the kind of woman he would choose. Of course, he and Melba had known each other for years, and maybe they had formed an attachment that way.

             
Karlijna couldn't figure out why the thought left her feeling so sick, but she knew trying to write a letter now was useless. She put down her pen and tucked the paper back into the drawer.

             
Two days later, she picked up her pen again. She had promised to write to Michael even though she hadn't heard from him for a while. She had been faithful so far and she wasn't going to let a little gossip stop her. Hopefully, he was going to be able to send and receive mail again soon.

Dear Michael,
                May 5, 1944

Today was a tiring day.
I had three final examinations: French, geography, and algebra. I believe I passed all three. I am certain I did quite well on the French test, and the geography was not too difficult, but I am still not comfortable with algebra.

Ellie and I went to a party to
night at Sally Howard's house. Her brother, Arnold, is leaving to join the Army. Ellie told me their older brother Robert joined the Air Force at the same time as you. I don't suppose you are anywhere near enough to speak to him as his family says he never writes.

I am grateful you do write to us and am looking forward to the time when you will be able to start writing
again. I've missed your letters, and I admit that I have been tempted to worry. It is easier to believe you are safe when I hear from you every week. Even if you just write to say things are not going well, I know you are well enough to write.

I'm afraid
Sara is still unhappy with me. It is as you have said, I think. She sees me as a reminder that Harry is fighting. A couple days ago she saw the prison markings on my arm and became upset. She did not know what they were.  I should have explained it to her, but I'm afraid I became irritated and left.

Sara does not understand that we are not fighting agai
nst Germans, but against evil. She thinks we fight the people.

I pray for her nearly as much as I do for you, my dear friend.

Karlijna

              She had just sealed her letter when Ellie came bursting into the room and threw herself on the bed, “Can you believe we graduate in a week?”

             
Karlijna turned in her seat to look at her friend, “If I had been having trouble, I wouldn't be by now. You've been reminding me of it nearly every day for a month.”

             
Ellie sat up, “I'm so excited – and nervous.”

             
“Nervous? About what? You aren't speaking or singing at the ceremony. All we have to do is walk up on stage and shake your father's hand.”

             
Ellie stood up and sighed, “I know, but I'm still nervous.”

             
“I think you're more nervous about what comes after graduation.”

             
Ellie leaned against the door, “I just don't know if I want to go to school.”

             
“That's what you said last week, but I don't understand. You've already been accepted to Bethel.  You said it is what you've wanted to do for a long time.”

             
Ellie shrugged, “I wouldn't be so scared if you went with me.”

             
Karlijna shook her head, “I can't. It is too expensive. And I wouldn't know what to study anyway.”

             
Ellie stood back up, “'Night, Karli. I'm too tired to think.”

             
The week leading up to the day of the graduation was filled with warm and sunny days. However, the morning of the ceremony brought pouring rain. The girls stood in the living room frowning at the puddles forming on the sidewalks and street.

             
“Staring at it won't make it go away,” Will joined them.

             
Ellie and Karlijna sighed in unison.

             
“We were going to have the graduation outside if it was nice,” Ellie reminded him.