The Forbidden Wish (15 page)

“Yes,” he muses, his face relaxing. “Well, I've had a lot of practice.”

Zhian, is that you?
I focus the words on the clay jar above Darian.

The reply comes like a clap of thunder

GET ME OUT OF HERE!

I stumble at the force of his words, and Darian steps forward to catch me.

“Wine catching up to you?” he asks, grinning.

I just nod distractedly, stiffening a little when his hands slide up my arms.

Zhian, I'm here to help you.

GET ME OUT NOW!

Darian's hands are far too familiar, one on my back now, the other cupping my jaw. His touch is repulsive, his heartbeat erratic and too fast. I feel assaulted on all sides: by Zhian's shouting, by the jinn clamoring, by Darian's desire.

“You really are quite pretty,” he says, his eyes dropping to my lips. “I've shown you something secret. Now what are you going to show me?”

Steeling myself, I grasp his coat and step forward, backing him into the shelves, and around him bottles shake dangerously.

“Easy,” he cautions, but his eyes brighten greedily. Our faces are just inches apart, his eyes locked on mine. “You're a feisty one. I knew it the moment I saw you. No wonder Rahzad likes to keep you close.”

“What about the princess?” I murmur, working a hand behind him as if to thread my fingers in his oiled hair.

“Caspida hardly appreciates the finer pleasures in life. I, on the other hand, have a king's appetite.”

He kisses me forcefully, stepping away from the wall, and I'm barely able to grab Zhian's jar before it's out of reach. No bigger than my hand, it's simple to let it slip down my sleeve. The jinn prince rages inside, but I ignore him and focus on the human trying to force his tongue down my throat. I can feel myself hovering on the very edge of the lamp's boundary. Ripples of smoke race under my skin as I strain to keep from shifting, the effort bringing tears to my eyes.

I shove Darian hard, and he shouts as he slams into the wall of
bottled jinn. A few topple from their shelves, and panic springs into his eyes as he struggles to catch them all.

“Bleeding gods, you whore!” he growls. “Are you mad?”

“My master is probably looking for me,” I gasp. “I should go.”

I turn and flee the room, letting out a soft, relieved cry as the lamp's pull on me slackens. Darian pursues too quickly for me to shift into a more speedy form. Zhian's jar rattling in my sleeve, I hurry through the dark crypt and up the stairs, the prince close on my heels.

“Stop!” he shouts. “Or I'll have you whipped!”

Sister!
Zhian cries.
Set me free and I will devour the wretch!

Shutting them both from my mind, I take the steps three at a time, barely keeping my feet as my skirts tangle around my legs.

When I reach the corridor on the main level, I put on a burst of speed, but Darian catches up to me. He grabs my arm, yanking me backward.

“Whore!” he snarls, slamming me into the wall so hard stars burst in my eyes. I hiss at him, the tiger in me threatening to emerge and rip out his throat, but a shout brings me back to myself.

“Zahra!”

I turn my head and see Aladdin running toward us. When he sees that it's Darian holding me roughly against the wall, his face twists into such rage that he seems unrecognizable.

He crashes into Darian before the prince has a chance to say anything. The two slam into the ground, Aladdin throwing a punch that cracks against Darian's jaw.

“Stop it!” I cry. “Prince Rahzad!”

The boys ignore me, rolling and thrashing like dogs.

Leave them!
Zhian roars.
Let me out!

“How dare you touch her?” Aladdin spits, grabbing Darian by
the hair and pressing the prince's face into the stone floor. “You bastard!”

“I didn't give her anything she didn't ask for,” Darian hisses back. “Get off me or I'll have you executed!”

I start to step in, but a cold voice behind me makes all three of us freeze.

“Darian.”

Turning, I see the vizier standing in the shadows, his face a mask of cold fury.

Aladdin lets go of the prince, who scrambles to his feet, his face reddening.

“Father, I—”

“My own son, scrapping in the halls like a dog over a bitch in heat? Disgusting.”

Darian drops his head, shooting Aladdin a dark look.

“As for
you
, Rahzad,” Sulifer says, his icy gaze sliding to Aladdin, “is this how the princes of Istarya behave in the houses that grant them hospitality?”

Aladdin, no fear in his eyes, spits on the floor before rising haughtily to his feet. “It's how we behave toward cowards who can't keep their hands to themselves.”

Sulifer's gaze flickers to me disinterestedly. “Darian, straighten yourself up and come with me. Prince Rahzad, perhaps it is time you retire for the evening. I think our Amulen wine has proven too strong for your senses.”

Darian smirks at that and gives us both threatening looks before joining his father. The two stride away, Darian slightly limping.

“You didn't need to interfere,” I tell Aladdin.

He turns to me, still panting. “He had his hands all over you.”

“Nothing I couldn't handle.”

His eyes fall away, his hands clenching at his sides. “Is it true? Did you
ask
him to join you out here?”

Tell him yes
, I think. With one word, I could sever whatever's between us. I could release Zhian and have no regrets behind me.

But . . . can I do that to Aladdin? Can I hurt him like that? And can I deny the truth growing inside me?

“Why are you here?” I say at last. “You're supposed to be with Caspida, offering your hand in marriage.”

Aladdin's mouth opens, and he stares at me for a moment with hurt naked in his gaze.

“I just did,” he mutters.

Then, his eyes clouding with anger, he storms past me and disappears around a corner before I can utter a word. I stare after him, my gut roiling with dismay and confusion.

You fool of a jinni! LET ME OUT!

Startled from my thoughts, I pull Zhian's jar from my sleeve and turn it over. I can easily imagine him swirling inside, a cloud of smoke and fury.

Be silent, Zhian. I'll decide when you're let out, and right now, you're not inspiring my merciful side.

He howls and hurls insults, which I try to ignore as I trail after Aladdin.

I have Zhian at last. At any moment I could break open the jar and free him, fulfilling my end of the bargain and claiming my freedom. But what happens next? The humiliation of being captured by the humans will have made Zhian furious. He's had two moons to feed his hatred of humans, and by now it is ravenous,
destructive. If I let him out now, Parthenia will not stand a chance. He'll destroy the city from the inside out, regardless of my deal with his father.

I have to release him outside the city walls and trust that the wards will protect everyone inside from his inevitable wrath.

Aladdin heads back toward his rooms, and I follow at a distance, my chest feeling emptier than ever.

It's time to say goodbye.

I
FIND HIM IN OUR RO
OMS,
standing in the courtyard. A few candles burn in colorful lanterns the palace staff has hung in the fig trees, lighting the grass with soft blues and reds. Aladdin leans against a pillar, his back to the door, and if he hears me enter, he does not show it. I pause only to drop Zhian's jar in my bedchamber; I can't bear to hear his threats and curses right now.

Aladdin doesn't flinch or even acknowledge me when I arrive at his side. His coat lies draped over the divan behind him, leaving him in a simple white kurta, the sleeves pushed up to his elbows. His turban lies rumpled on the ground.

His gaze troubles me. All night he has been bright as a flame, smiling, dancing, flirting. That boy is gone. The Aladdin before me looks haunted. His jaw is rigid, his hair messy, his hands clenched so tight the tendons in his forearms stand out like ropes.

“Aladdin . . .”

He tenses, not looking my way.

“What happened between you and Caspida?”

Now he looks at me, and the anger in his eyes catches me by surprise. “I told her all sorts of lies. That I have an army back in Istarya, and treasuries filled with gold, and that it would all be hers if she would marry me.”

A servant has left a pot of tea and refreshments by the divan. I pour myself a cup and warm my hands wth it, trying to keep them from shaking. “What did she say?”

“That she would think about it.” He laughs bitterly, then falls silent for a long moment. I wish I could read his thoughts, but his face is closed to me.

“When I saw you in the hall with Darian,” he says at last, “I felt more angry than I've felt in a long time. I was angry and . . . and afraid, that you
wanted
to be there, that you wanted him touching you. In that one look, I felt more than I've ever felt with Caspida. Zahra, I think you're right—love isn't a choice. If I could choose to love Caspida, maybe this would all be going differently, but I don't think that's possible. Not anymore.”

All the smoke inside me sinks as I stare at him. “What are you saying?”

He turns and meets my gaze squarely. As much I want to, I find it impossible to look away. The intensity of his copper gaze holds me entranced.

“I think you know,” he says softly. “Or am I the only one who feels it?”

My skin and the roots of my hair tingle, as if the air around us is charged, a storm about to break.

“I don't know what you mean.” The words are bitter on my tongue.

With a growl of frustration, Aladdin turns away and scrubs at his hair. “I can never tell when you're lying. It drives me insane. I'm a good liar, and I know a good lie when I hear it. But you . . . you're maddening!”

I smile a little, unhumorously, thinking how I could say much the same of him.

He continues, “Over and over I've imagined the day Caspida and I marry. I've envisioned sending Darian off to the ends of the earth and sentencing Sulifer to a life of scrubbing floors, finally avenging my parents. I've imagined these things all my life, but they no longer bring me the pleasure they once did.”

He slips around the pillar, coming to stand behind me, and the pleading note in his voice cuts through all my defenses, leaving me breathless.

“The things that were once sweet to me are now bitter. The sun is not half so bright. The stars seem dimmer. All this wealth and luxury feels meaningless. All the world is in your shadow, Zahra. I cannot help but see you when I close my eyes.”

His fingers brush tentatively through my hair. I stiffen, and his hand withdraws.

He moves in front of me, his eyes wild. “I know so little about you, and it eats at me night and day. Who are you? Why do you infect my mind?”

“Aladdin, stop.
Please
.” My voice shaking, I finally jolt into motion, stepping forward and holding up my hands. “Don't do this. Not now.”
Not when I'm so close to my freedom.
I came here ready to part with him forever, but he played his opening move first, and now I find myself on the defensive, parrying and blocking the assault of his words. But too many blows strike home.

I've always been able to sense my masters, but with Aladdin it's different. When I close my eyes, he's there, grinning, laughing, daring me with those copper-brown eyes.

For the first time I think about what comes after I win my freedom. For so long that's been my single goal, but what happens next? Do I return to Ambadya, where they hate me? Do I stay in the human world, where they would destroy me if they knew what I was? I have nowhere to go to and no one to spend my freedom with, and for the first time I begin to wonder if that's really freedom at all, or if I'm exchanging one prison for another.

“I'm not
for
you,” I say desperately. “We are so different. Our lives are a thousand and one worlds apart. It wouldn't work. And it's
dangerous
.”

But his face only brightens. “Then you
do
feel the same.”

“We are not the same—and that is the whole point! I am not human
,
Aladdin. Everything that was once human in me was destroyed, and I was forged into something entirely different. I'm not here to help you—I was never here to help you, or any of my masters.”

He shakes his head. “I don't believe that.”

“It doesn't matter what you believe,” I say bitterly. “It is what it is, and it has nothing to do with what you
want
.”

He walks around me, forcing me to face him. “You helped me get away from Darian in the desert. You got me into the palace when you could have let them find out who I really was. You taught me to dance, for sky's sake! You've had a hundred opportunities to trick me and betray me, but you don't. You've helped me when I didn't wish for it.”

“A chicken doesn't fly like other birds, but it is still a bird.”

“Zahra!” He spreads his hands, the wind ruffling his hair. “You
do
care. I see it when you think I'm not looking.”

“Stop! I'm not what you think I am, Aladdin! I
will
betray you, and I
will
hurt you, because that is what I
am
. Why do you think Nardukha rips souls from the living and creates jinnis? Why do you think he sends us into the world? To make your miserable dreams come true? To bring you
happiness
?” I laugh sourly. “He gives you the thing you want most and uses it to destroy you. Look at yourself. You're a prince. You have money, power, privilege. The chance to avenge your parents. And you're miserable.”

Aladdin stares at me, and in his eyes is pity. “I've been making myself miserable my whole life,” he says softly. “I convinced myself long ago that if I could get revenge on Sulifer, I could finally
move on
. That I could erase the memory of the day my parents died, when I held their severed heads and watched their blood run in the gutters. But as you say, here I am, a step away from that vengeance—and it has soured on my tongue. I don't
want
it anymore.”

He sighs and looks up at the sky, as if searching for words among the stars. “You don't make me miserable, Zahra. I do that to myself, because I'm too weak, too afraid to admit that it isn't Sulifer I'm angry at—it's
me
. My parents were killed because of
me
. The day before they were executed, I was caught by the guards for stealing an earring, and when they found out who I was, Sulifer had me whipped until I told him where my parents were. And after they were dead, he gave me back the earring as payment for turning my mother and father over to him.” Lowering his gaze to meet mine, he brushes his fingers over the ring in his ear. “I've worn it every day since, to remind myself that nothing—
nothing—
is worth betraying someone you love.”

Love?

The word hangs between us like forbidden fruit, ripe and sweet and oh, so deadly. I stare at him in dismay.

“Please,” I whisper. “Stop.”

“Zahra—”

“Don't you understand? It's forbidden, Aladdin! We jinn must abide by many rules, but first among them, most important of all, we must
never
fall in love with a human!”

He catches his breath, swallowing hard. “And do you always follow the rules?”

“I—” Casting my gaze skyward, I draw a deep breath, searching for words among the stars. “It's not about that. Do you know what kind of destruction we would cause? Have you not heard the story of your own people, how their city was destroyed, how thousands died? It was not hate that sparked the war between your people and mine, Aladdin. It was
love
. I held hands with Roshana the Wise and called her sister, and those words set our world on fire!”

There it is. My greatest shame, laid bare. The truth lies between us like broken glass. Surely now he sees what I truly am: a betrayer, a monster, an enemy. Aladdin stares at me, his face softening.

“That wasn't your fault,” he says. “Loving someone is never wrong. And like you said, it's not a choice. It just happens, and we're all helpless in its power.”

“That doesn't change the fact that the consequences are disastrous. As the poets say, shake hands with a jinni, and you shake hands with death.”

“And what if you weren't a jinni? What if you were free from their rules?”

I stare at him. His jaw tightens, his eyes steely with determination that frightens me to my core. A cloud drifts across the face of the crescent moon, and the courtyard darkens. Here and there, the
grass is still bent where Aladdin and I danced just hours earlier. I drop my gaze and glare at it, shaking from head to toe.

“Don't say it, Aladdin. Don't you even
think
it.” Dread rises in me like a storm cloud, dark and menacing.

Aladdin moves closer. He takes my hands. His skin is warm and crackling with energy, setting me on fire.

“I have one wish left,” he murmurs. “And this one is for you.”

“
No
, Aladdin! Don't speak it. Don't make the Forbidden Wish. The cost—”

“Damn the cost. Zahra, I wish—”

I stop him with a kiss.

Because it is the first thing I think of to stop the terrible words. Because he fills me with light and hope and deep, deep fear. Because I have been longing to for days.

I feel shock splinter through him, his body going rigid. Then he relaxes, melting into me, stepping forward until I am caught between him and the wall, the torch crackling beside me. His hands slide down my back, over my hips and thighs, leaving a trail of fire. His heart beats fast enough for the both of us, its thunderous pulse echoing through me.

I bury my hands in his dark hair, fingers knotting around those thick locks. Desire pulls at my stomach, and I lean into him, lifting one leg and wrapping it around his waist. He lifts me, and my other leg coils around him, my skirts sliding up my thighs, my back pressed against the column.

His lips are soft and warm and gentle, underlined with barely restrained urgency. I cannot get enough of him. I pull his kurta over his head and let it fall on the floor. I press my hands against his bared chest, feel his heart against my palm, his lungs rising and falling. His shoulder is knotted with the scar from the arrow he took
for me. He kisses me again, this time more strongly, and I run my hands down his jaw and neck, over his shoulders, the taut muscles of his back.

He turns, without letting me go or breaking our kiss, and we tumble onto the soft divan. Aladdin holds himself over me, his abdomen clenched and his hair hanging across his forehead. His lips wander downward, to my chin, to the curve of my jaw, to my neck.

My hands are ravenous, exploring the planes and angles of his body. His fingers find mine, and our hands knit together. He raises them over my head, pressing them into the pillow beneath my hair, as his kisses trace my collarbone, and then he sinks lower, parting the buttons of my dress and pressing his lips to my bare stomach.

I gasp and open my eyes wide, my borrowed body coursing with sensations I have never felt, never dared to feel, never thought I
could
feel.

“Aladdin,” I murmur. “We shouldn't . . .”

“Sh.” He silences me with a kiss, and I lift my chin to meet him. A warm wind rushes through my body, stirring embers and setting them aflame. I don't want to stop. I don't want to think about consequences. I only want Aladdin, everywhere.

I wish—

No. No, I can't wish. The cost is too high for both of us.

“Stop,” I say, my voice laced with treacherous weakness.

He lifts his eyes to mine. “Why?”

“
Stop
,” I say more firmly.

I shove him off me and sit up, my face in my hands, my hair a curtain to shield me. Aladdin doesn't move, just stares at me, still breathing heavily.

“Zahra? What's wrong?”

“Everything!” I lift my head and burst to my feet. “You don't understand. This can't happen!”

“I'm sorry.” He rises to his knees, hands spread. “I'm so, so sorry. I don't know what came over me. Please—”

“Leave me alone!” I run through the door and slam it behind me, then sag against it, half panting, half sobbing, in the empty hallway. How did I let this happen? How could I have been so weak?

“Zahra?” He stands on the other side of the door, his voice muffled. “I'm sorry.”

“It's not what you think it is,” I tell him. “You don't feel anything for me. You're just drawn to my power, to the wishes I've granted you.”

“No . . .” But his voice is uncertain.

Feeling the worst kind of traitor, I say, “I've been a fool to walk in this form around you. I'm not human, Aladdin. Nothing about me is right for you.” I open the door and there he is, his hair mussed and his chest glistening with sweat, standing with that lamb-in-the-rain look that cuts through all my defenses. But I stand firm.