The Forbidden (22 page)
Caleb crept up the lane and shone his flashlight high onto Nellie’s window. He waited, holding the light there, wondering how long it would be before he might attract her attention.
He waited with no response. He thought of knocking, but he didn’t want to wake Nellie’s parents, who had no doubt been asleep for hours.
Again he shined the light, leaving it poised there. Then, when Nellie did not appear, he moved the flashlight around in circles, still shining its white beam on the glass. When even that failed to bring her to the window, he rotated the light back and forth between the two west-facing windows.
Perhaps she was ignoring him. He certainly couldn’t blame her for that. Fact was, she had not so much as peeked out from behind the shade to see who was standing down in the snow, shivering beneath his long johns and heaviest wool coat.
“Caleb!” called his sister from the road. “I’m terribly cold.”
I’ll try one more thing before I wake the whole house.
Quickly, he turned off the flashlight and leaned down to scoop up a small bit of snow. Then, rolling it even smaller, he tossed it lightly so as not to make a loud thud.
He waited, growing more concerned for his sister as the seconds ticked past. Twice more he threw a snowball.
Could it be that Nellie had decided to give him a taste of his own medicine and ridden home with someone else?
Caleb dismissed the niggling thought. Not his Nellie. Even so, where was she, if not sound asleep in her bed?
Nan started and rolled over, apparently surprised to encounter Nellie lying there next to her, wide awake. “I didn’t mean to scare you. I simply couldn’t be alone.” Nellie sighed, wanting to open her heart to her sister. Yet she hesitated, wondering if she should unburden her woes when Nan was still smarting from her recent breakup.
“I’m glad you’re here.” Nan inched closer. “What’s wrong, Nellie?”
“Caleb’s betrayed me,” Nellie said softly.
“Oh, dear sister . . .”
Then the misery of her discovery began to pour out of her like a dam breaking apart. She told Nan everything, beginning with the secret meetings at the old mill, walks along the millstream, Caleb’s letters, their forbidden love. “We’ve willfully disobeyed his father, just as you and Rebekah have.” She struggled to speak. “And now . . . this . . . with Susannah.”
Nan reached over and cupped Nellie’s cheek with her hand. “I’m ever so sorry, Nellie. Truly I am.”
“After all the planning—for our future together—he ups and does this baffling thing.” Nellie could not hold back her tears. “I never would’ve believed it if I hadn’t seen it with my own eyes. Oh, Nan, it was like he’s held a torch for her all this time.” She wept so hard, the bed shook. “How could I not have known?”
She thought of the times she’d seen Susannah flirt with Caleb or attempt to during youth gatherings—one hayride in particular, she recalled. And there had been plenty of other times, too. But she had never noted any interest from Caleb toward Susannah—till now.
“Oh . . . it hurts so bad.” She clung to Nan, certain her broken heart would never mend.
“Nellie . . . Nellie.” Her sister held her as she wept, saying no more, soothing her by stroking her hair.
“Caleb?” Rebekah’s voice was laced with worry. It sounded as if she was about to cry.
He hurried back toward the buggy, thankful for the traction of his boots against the hardened snow. “I can’t raise anyone. I’m terribly sorry.” He leaned against the horse, hugging him for warmth. “Come here, Rebekah.” He must not let his sister get so chilled that she became ill. That, on top of being ousted from home, was a trial she should not have to bear.
“This is . . . just awful,” she said.
“Don’t cry. Your tears will freeze to your face.”
She wiped them with her mittened hand.
“I guess we’ll just have to knock,” he said.
“What if I simply slipped inside?” Rebekah glanced toward the farmhouse. “I know right where Nan’s room is. . . . I could go up there . . . try not to startle her.”
“Would you be welcome, do ya think?”
She nodded, trembling now as he pressed her against the horse, sandwiching her between himself and the steed.
“Nan wouldn’t want me to freeze to death.”
“Nor would Daed.” The words escaped him. Surely their father would not wish for Rebekah to suffer. Why
had
he abandoned her? Had he no concern for his own flesh and blood this bitter night? Caleb could not imagine treating a son or daughter this way.
“Come, sister, I’ll walk you to the house.”
Rebekah reached for his arm, and he felt the weight of her, though she was ever so slight.
Stepping quietly into Reuben Fisher’s enclosed back porch, Caleb felt like an intruder in more ways than one. But getting out of the elements for a few moments was essential now.
“I’ll do my best to keep in touch,” Caleb whispered. “Somehow we must.”
Rebekah only nodded.
Once his sister had stepped into the kitchen and out of sight, he contemplated Nellie’s whereabouts once again, hoping she was not still riding around in this cold.
Nellie Mae was a sensible girl. Certainly she was not one to get revenge. She would have headed directly home after their brief encounter at the barn Singing. Doubtless she was here in this house and so deep in slumber—hopefully not weeping— that she hadn’t noticed his flashlight on her window.
Caleb consoled himself with that and let himself out of the house as quietly as he’d entered a few minutes before.
A sudden sound in the hallway made Nellie’s ears perk up. She strained to listen, and then there was nothing. “Did ya hear that?” she asked Nan.
“It’s late . . . could it be Rhoda comin’ back?”
“Rhoda’s long gone, I daresay,” Nellie replied.
More creaking came from outside the bedroom door. Then they heard, “Nan . . . it’s me, Rebekah.” This brought Nellie and Nan straight up in bed.
“What the world?” Nan leapt onto the cold wooden floor. “Come in. Ach . . . are you all right?”
Caleb’s sister sniffled as she entered. “Daed’s done kicked me out.”
“Oh, you poor girl!” Nan gave her a quick hug.
“My brother Caleb brought me here.”
Caleb went home without riding with Susannah?
“I thought I might stay here for—”
“Stay as long as need be,” Nan said, still hovering near Rebekah.
Nellie leaned her arms on her knees, astonished at Rebekah’s late-night appearance and moved at Nan’s loving concern for her friend.
Rebekah sat on the edge of the bed. “I’ll try ’n’ find somewhere else to stay after tomorrow, though, so you won’t be stuck with me.”
“Puh, don’t be silly. You’re welcome here,” Nan insisted.
Nellie had an idea and she said it right out, thinking Rebekah might wish for solace from her stressful night and for the comfort of friends, as well. “Nan, let’s untuck the bed sheets and lie sideways across this bed . . . you know, like you, Rhoda, Suzy, and I used to.”
“When we were just girls?” said Nan.
“Jah, when we were ever so little.” She sighed at the thought of the changes the years had brought . . . each broken heart there.
Without another word, they did precisely that, pulling the bedclothes off quickly to remake the bed horizontally.
Nellie went to her room to get a third pillow. Then they all crawled into the bed and curled up—Nan and Nellie at the head and foot of the bed, with forlorn Rebekah between them.
“I’m behind on my washing.” Rosanna bemoaned the fact as her cousin came in the back door Monday morning.
“Well, here, let me help,” Cousin Kate said, reaching 229 for baby Eli.
Grateful, Rosanna hurried downstairs to complete the task of doing the laundry. She’d begun with two loads of the babies’ clothes and was now sorting Elias’s trousers and long-sleeved colored shirts. She put the clothes into the old wringer washer powered by a small gasoline motor.
Soon she made her way up the stairs and discovered Kate in the front room, swaying slowly as she held Eli, talking quietlike. Rosie, too, was awake now and crying in the playpen, and since it was nearly time for the next feeding, Rosanna went to the kitchen to pick her up. Despite Kate’s offer of assistance, Rosanna sensed a real sadness in her cousin—her cheeks drooped and her eyes were swollen. Had she been crying?
Kate didn’t return with Eli to the kitchen as Rosanna wished she might. Instead she sat in the rocking chair in the front room and opened her dress to nurse him within view of Rosanna, two rooms away.
Rosanna squelched the lump in her throat. Kate was again willfully ignoring her request that she adhere to the original plan and stop nursing either baby at two months of age, a date that had passed nearly a month ago. She might break down if she didn’t keep herself in check—either that or storm in there and tell her cousin what she really thought for once.
Not wanting baby Rosie to sense her frustration, –Rosanna breathed deeply and asked the Lord for patience, praying the way Preacher Manny had taught them yesterday at the worship service. Thinking of the wonderful-good gathering, the joyful sermon, and Elias’s conversion, she already missed the fellowship of those who’d come to hear the Word of God and were eager to do it. She truly hoped Elias was in favor of returning next Sunday . . . and the next. If so, they’d be joining that church next spring, after council meeting and a day of fasting. Rosanna was so thankful to the Lord for calling her husband as He had her.
Doing her best not to stare at Kate with Eli, she prepared Rosie’s bottle, gazing into her darling face all the while. Rosie blinked up innocently at her, her big eyes ever so trusting.
“You’re hungry, aren’t ya, sweetie?” She kissed Rosie’s ivory forehead. “Won’t be long now, I promise.”
All of a sudden the emotions she’d been masking since Kate arrived began to shift from deep in her heart to her throat and now, this minute, to the tip of her tongue. If she didn’t hurry and get Rosie’s bottle ready, she might not be able to see due to her tears.
Why does Kate torment me so?
She moved to stand in the doorway between the kitchen and the small sitting area, watching Kate rocking and cooing. But Eli was hers now.
Hers.
How dare Kate come here and disrupt things—incite near rage in her?
Returning to the kitchen, she covered her eyes so as to shut out the cozy sight in the front room. But she found herself moving forward, heading toward Kate while Rosie rutsched against her own bosom.
Rosanna marched into the front room, stopping smack-dab in the center of the large braided rug, glaring at Kate with Eli at her breast. She gasped, then muttered, “I . . . you . . .”
Kate looked up and smiled. “You all right?”
“Not one bit!”
Quickly her cousin’s smile faded into a frown. “What’s a-matter, cousin? You not feelin’ so well?”
That too.
“Here, pull up a chair.” Kate motioned to the corner and the old cane chair Elias had recently redone. “Sit with me . . . I want to talk to you.”
Rosanna pulled the chair over, surprised at herself for being this compliant when all she really wanted was to snatch her son from this cruel woman. Even so, she sat and lifted Rosie onto her shoulder, patting her back and willing herself to remain calm and listen to Kate.
“John and I were talkin’ this morning, early . . . before breakfast.”
Rosie squirmed.
“We’re concerned.” Kate paused. “If you continue goin’ to the new church, well, more than likely, Eli will make his kneeling vow to
that
church.” Kate looked down at Eli, stroking his hair.
Rosanna was confused. “What’re you sayin’?”
Kate shifted Eli to her shoulder and rubbed his back, waiting for the burps, which came quickly in a series of two . . . then a softer third.
“John wants our children to remain in the Old Order, where they belong . . . where you and Elias ought to stay,”
Kate said, her voice trembling.
Rosanna held Rosie close, fear rushing through her.
“And . . . ’specially Eli.” Kate kissed the top of his head.
“We worry what might happen if the lot, the divine ordination, were to fall on him when he’s grown.”
Rosanna was all befuddled. So the divine appointment was of concern suddenly because of her and Elias’s visit to Preacher Manny’s church? Was that it?
“I say, if God appoints Eli for His service, then who are we to question?” Rosanna choked back a breath.
“That’s why John and I want our son raised up in the Old Ways . . . in case the Lord chooses him to be a man of God.”
“You’re most worried ’bout Eli, then?”
Kate nodded slowly, deliberately.
“Rosie here doesn’t matter?” Rosanna cuddled her daughter near.
“Why, sure . . .” Kate said unconvincingly.
“Well, she could end up a preacher’s wife . . . we just don’t know.” Kate’s favoritism angered her, but Rosanna chose to push it aside. “So it seems you know where we went yesterday.”
“Ain’t a secret, that’s for sure.”
“Elias and I didn’t intend to hide it.”
Kate sighed loudly, guiding Eli to latch on to her other breast. “How could we have known this was goin’ to happen?”
“The church split?”
“Jah, back when we promised the babies . . .”
Rosanna sucked in her air too quickly and had to cough.
“Well, I hope you don’t regret it.”
Rosie began to whimper, and it was time to get the bottle out of the hot water, lest it be too warm for her tender mouth. Rosanna made her way to the kitchen, unable to think. Kate seemed truly sorry she’d given up Eli and Rosie. On the other hand, was this merely because of the baby blues? Maybe Kate needed more herbal tea.
Blessed
thistle . . . do I have any on hand?
Beset by the smell of scorched baby formula, she placed Rosie in the playpen and rushed to the cookstove. Using a potholder, she plucked the boiling hot bottle out of the pan and placed it in the sink. Clearly the formula was unsalvageable.
“It’s my fault for listenin’ to that woman babble on,” she whispered. She poured it out and went to prepare another bottle for wailing Rosie.
