The Folk Keeper (17 page)

What did I see in this watery canvas? I saw the new alignment of my feet, no longer neat
L
s at my ankles but curving extensions of what had once been legs. I saw the fan-shaped spread of them, the fans moving rhythmically together and apart, shooting me in my own bright trajectory through the sea.

I painted a new path that angled sharply upward, broke through a skim of moonlight into air. The change had begun at my feet. There was the sweep of Corinna’s bluish skin from shoulder to thigh. But webbed flippers fused what could no longer be called ankles and smooth fur bound my legs above the knee.

What had been double was becoming single. The Sealskin still had the power to transform; not even fire could strip that away.

My slow underwater heart sprang into land speed as I watched with fascination, and a kind of horror. My Sealskin was taking me over. Silvered fur stretched, swallowing skin, binding thigh to thigh.

I glanced back to shore. A lantern shone from the cliff. Was Finian watching for me there? The Sealskin yawned over hip bones, sharp as knives.
Once you thought being a Folk Keeper was your proper life,
Finian had said. Was this what I wanted after all?

I pulled at the Sealskin. Such a relief: It peeled back easily. Should I let it take me over? As Finian had said, it needn’t be one over the other. I could always come back.

I hung in the wind-torn waves. The Sealskin crept up my side, wrapped round my middle. And then, when I was more seal than human . . .

My words vanished. I could no longer shape an image of inky wetness, spitting up pearls. I could no longer name Finian, couldn’t even pretend I didn’t love him.

An aching desolation overcame me. Gone was my new power of sculpting images with rhythm, welding rhythm to rhyme. Gone, too, was my newest power: saying those three words Finian had coaxed from me.

My hands moved of themselves, pulled at the Sealskin. I couldn’t go on before I knew I could retrieve my words. The seal-shape melted away, powerful muscles yielding to a pale belly. As my words came flooding back, so did a searing pain, fire in water.

The Sealskin clung fast to my thigh. I touched the spot; it had been burned there. I had the words now, I could tell my story even as it unfolded. The Sealskin could reverse the fusion of seal to human flesh, but not where it had been burned. The fire had seared all that away.

I wanted myself back. I tore at the Sealskin, ripping it from me, which ripped away Corinna, too. Raw flesh, oozing blood, my own faraway scream.

Five more burned patches showed on the seal part of me below. Perhaps the Sealfolk shrugged their Sealskins from them as a dog shakes water. But to get mine off, I needed to rip at it, which would be impossible once the seal-change took over my hands. If I became a Sealmaiden, I’d stay a Sealmaiden. The Sealskin was no longer a two-way door between land and water.

Quick! The Sealskin peeled away to the next burned patch. I closed my ears against my screams. Now, three more patches, now two. Thank the Saints I had my words. I could name the bitter taste rising from my stomach, describe the arc of pain.

A final savage tearing, a final sickening surrender. My Sealskin floated free. On the water, now in the water, the sea pulling it into herself.

The waves slapped at me. I was so weary. It was hard not to surrender, to follow my Sealskin into the unlighted regions.

The waves smashed at me, and only now I noticed: I had brewed my own little tempest.
Three drops of Sealfolk blood.
A storm, with the Manor so far away, and me in such a fire of pain!

I clung to the waves, weeping. Then all at once, silvery heads rose all around. I had called the Sealfolk to me. Or perhaps they’d come of themselves, as they had the last time I’d raised a storm.

“I want to go home!” I opened my arms. The smallest of them swam into my embrace, and together, we all sank beneath the churning world.

We left the storm behind. The sea whispered and murmured against me, the Sealfolk speeded me home. It was humbling and comforting to be one tiny piece of this intense life.
So one-sided,
Finian had said. He was right. I needn’t become a Sealmaiden to have a life with the sea. I was a part of it already, and best of all, I could still have my own words.

My mother went mad when her Sealskin was destroyed. She turned her back forever on the sea. She may never have known her powers, that the sea was open to her still. But I won’t go mad; I’ll make the sea my second home. This is how we are different.

There was the coming-home thrill as the Sealfolk and I drifted up the rocky incline near shore, old landlocked territory seen newly underwater. There was the dark pressure of the beach just beyond, and a memory of surfacing here Midsummer dawn, bearing Finian like a bubble.

My head broke into the thin air. The storm had all but passed. There was Finian, scrambling down the cliff. He should mind his feet; there, he almost fell. On the beach lay a pile of velvet and lace belonging to Lady Corinna Merton.

I attached myself to the land with my fingertips; high tide rose to the very edge of the beach. The Sealfolk gathered in a half-moon around me. We gazed at each other; Finian set loose a landslide of pebbles.

I was not quite laughing, not quite crying. “I’m not one of you, but I’m not Lady Corinna, either. Let me come with you sometimes. I know how to call you.”

I turned back to land when the Sealfolk turned back to sea, curling both hands over the edge of the beach, my head rising just above. Both in and out of the water, I waited. Finian was running now, my cloak bundled in his arms, and I had already chosen my Conviction.