The Flyer (21 page)

“What are you talking about?”

“Your hair. Your clothes. You’re a smart, modern woman with a mind of her own. Women of your generation have a way of doing things, I reckon, that most people can’t understand.”

“Don’t you see? That’s the impression I’m trying to undo. Do you want me to tell you how I’ve spent the last year of my life frequenting speakeasies, listening to sinful music, drinking and smoking? Defying every value my mother instilled in me? Living my life like some harlot? Is that what you want to hear?”

Harlot? He’d kissed her more than once, and the innocence had been unmistakable. Drinking and smoking? That he could believe. Dancing and attending late-night parties with her university friends? Yes.

Harlot? Never.

“I think you might be being a little hard on yourself, love.”

“Ask my mother. She’ll tell you how I’ve shamed my family and destroyed any chance I ever had at a decent match.”

“Your mother isn’t here. I am. Why not let me be the judge of what kind of match you’ll make?”

“You’re missing the point. She was right all along. I made my bed,” she paused, swallowing hard against something she obviously hated thinking about, “and now I have to lie in it. I’m damaged goods, as my father would say. You deserve better, Paul. And I don’t deserve you at all.”

“Why would you say something like that?” He paused, glanced at the earthen floor and then lifted his face again. “Listen, I’m not asking you to marry me, am I? I just want a chance to get to know you a little better. Maybe we could be friends, you know? If nothing more comes of it, fine, but don’t dismiss me out of hand because some bloke couldn’t see what was right in front of him.”

“I don’t know,” Helen answered, her voice hesitating. “You’re a sweet man, Paul. Anyone can see that. The entire region is madly in love with you, for Pete’s sake.”

“All the more reason to let me be your friend.”

“But what if you don’t want to be my friend? What then?”

“Why wouldn’t I?”

She lifted one eyebrow and canted her head to one side.

“Oh, I see. If I want to be more than friends, and you don’t.” He heaved an exaggerated sigh. “I suppose I’ll have to cry into my grog and make the best of it, won’t I? So what do you say? Truce? I won’t try to kiss you again until you say I can, and you’ll be my friend.”

She considered his words like a general considers his enemy. After a moment, she extended her right hand. He wanted more than that. At the very least, he wanted to bend down like some bloody knight and kiss her knuckles, but he took her slender fingers in a gentle grip instead.

The touch was like magic. Strong enough to make him weak in the knees. He hoped he could live up to his promise not kiss her again. Everything about her tempted him worse than a little boy in front of Bully’s candy shelf.

“Friends,” she whispered in a barely audible voice. Still, somewhere inside the halting tone, there was a bit of hope. A little consideration.

It was something.

Could he keep his word? The way she fired his blood and made him see past his own selfish wants made him somewhat doubtful. But it was a start.

With effort, he dropped her hand. “I’m going riding with Dale. When I get back, I have something for you that might cheer you up a little. Until then, just don’t go running off again. It’s a big desert.”

She grinned, her mouth parting enough to make his blood run hot. “I won’t.”

9

B
lue had watched the young doctor run from the back of Dale’s house into the barn. A few seconds later, Paul had followed her. From his perch on Tower Rock, Blue could see everything. The sheep, grazing in the short grasses of their pastures, moved like a great cloud against the muted green. In a paddock close to the barn, Apache, Emily Winter’s huge black racer, drank from a water trough. In yet another enclosure, roughly half the station’s herd of forty whalers grazed quietly. The other horses were in use while the Jackaroos, and their female counterparts, the Jillaroos, watched over the flock.

Emily and Dale didn’t know Blue had returned early from the gathering. As much as he’d wanted to stay, the Ancestors had other plans for him. Or perhaps they didn’t, and he was guilty of his son’s accusations—that he spent too much time worrying over the lives of others. Not that he could help it. He’d seen young Helen’s path in the Dreaming, had known she would come to the great land of his birth and suffer through a painful emotional journey. What part he needed to play in the adventure, he wasn’t sure.

He would let the Ancestors guide him, as he always had. With that in mind, he descended the huge pinnacle and made his way to the barn. When he’d come within a few feet of the doors, Paul left and went back to the house.

Blue waited for him to pass before entering the barn. Inside, Helen stood in front of Jezebel’s stall, her arms on the top board and her chin resting on her hands. Apparently deep in thought, she hadn’t heard him enter.

“The path to happiness is often winding,” he announced. “You have made many turns.”

Helen jumped, one hand moving to her heart. “I didn’t see you.”

“I know,” Blue replied. “You’re sad again.”

She kept her gaze fastened on his, the brown glistening in the moisture of her tears. “Am I so easily read? Or is it true what they say about you?”

He gestured to her face. “You’ve been crying.”

“The horses kicked up dust, that’s all. I’m fine, really.”

“If you say so.” He shrugged. She was very much like Djuru, refusing to admit to anyone that he was as much a human as anyone else. What made it so difficult for some people to show their frailties? Helen had been hurt, greatly so, before she’d come to Australia. Yet she insisted upon ignoring it, afraid to make the same mistakes. That was the main reason the Ancestors had brought her here, he suspected. To face the worst of the challenges in her young life and rise above as a champion of her own destiny.

“I do say so, if that’s quite all right with you.” She squared her shoulders, once again armored against whatever it was she feared most.

He couldn’t figure out exactly what that was, yet. Was she afraid of someone else, or herself? “Of course.”

An uncomfortable silence filled the shadowed interior of the barn until Helen whispered something to the horse. Jezebel raised her head into Helen’s outstretched palm, gently nudging while the young woman brushed her fingers over its nose.

“She likes you.”

“I like her.”

“What made you run away?”

She dropped her hand quickly. “I didn’t run away.”

“You did. I saw you run from the house a little while ago. Did something happen to make you afraid?”

“Oh, that. It was nothing. I just needed some fresh air, that’s all.”

“So you came to a barn?”

Helen’s cheeks darkened, and she refused to meet his gaze. “It’s complicated.”

“Not so complicated. Whatever it was, running helps nothing.”

“I only run when I’m weak. That doesn’t happen very often.”

“Why did you come to Australia?”

“To be a doctor, of course.”

The barn door opened, and Emily moved from the bright sunlight into the shadowed interior. “Blue! You’re back.” She lit the barn with her smile, hurrying to clasp him in a welcoming embrace. “We missed you.”

“It’s nice to be missed,” he answered, returning the hug but keeping his eyes trained on Helen. She looked away, her discomfort at the affection Emily showed him apparent in the set of her shoulders and her entwined fingers.

“Did you bring Djuru with you?”

“I tried. He said he might come later, but Nanara is here, so I don’t think he will.”

“No. She’s moved to Port Hedland. She’s nursing for Dr. Stanwood now.”

“I’ll tell him, and maybe he’ll come visit.”

“He should stop fighting it, you know. She adores him, and what’s past is past.” As if she suddenly remembered why she’d come to the barn, she released him and faced Helen. “Are you all right, dear?”

“Fine.”

“I wanted to come sooner, but Paul said you needed to be alone.”

The color drained from Helen’s cheeks, leaving them pale around her slightly widened eyes. “What else did he say?”

“Only that you hadn’t been feeling well. Are you ill? The one time I’ve flown with Paul, I was sick for hours.”

“I’m just tired, that’s all. I’m all right now. Should we go back to the house? Are the children back?”

“They are. And the baby woke just a few minutes ago. I think we’re ready for whatever vile mixtures you have for us,” Emily replied, laughing.

The two women headed for the door. As Helen passed, Blue caught her arm. She looked first at his hand, then lifted her gaze to his eyes. “Did you need something?”

“No.”

“Then what is it?”

“Embrace the winding path, Miss Helen, and don’t be afraid of the turns.”

Three hours later, Helen returned the last of her equipment to her medical bag and placed it by the front door. “Everyone is perfectly healthy, Emily. You have a wonderful family.”

“Thank you, Helen. It’s so nice to have you come and do this for us. Taking the children into Port Hedland to see Doc Mallory,” she answered, rubbing her belly, “isn’t exactly feasible right now.”

“That’s what I’m here for.”

“Let’s sit outside where it’s cooler. The front porch has lovely shade this time of day, and we can watch for the boys when they come back.”

“It’s getting dark. They should be back soon, I hope.”

“I’m sure they will be.” Emily sat in the rocking chair closest to the front door and indicated that Helen should take the other. “Though, when the two of them get together, one never knows.”

An evening breeze had begun to sweep across the pastures, bending the tallest of the brush with a gentle hand. Helen scanned the horizon looking for a sign of Dale or Paul. Only because they needed to head back to Port Hedland soon, if they were to reach home before dark. It had nothing to do with the fact they’d been gone for more than the time it had taken for her to examine all five children and Emily.

“So, Helen, tell me. How long do you think you’ll be staying in Australia?”

“Forever, I imagine.” She shrugged. “I thought that was understood.”

“Really? I thought you were here on a temporary basis. There isn’t much here for an independent, modern woman like you. At least, not outside the cities.”

“So I’ve realized. But it shouldn’t matter where someone lives. I can be just as independent here as I could at home.” Hopefully, more so. She didn’t have her mother to contend with, and having left her heart in a million shattered pieces on the docks of San Francisco, she hadn’t thought she would have any troubles at all.

How wrong she’d been about that.

“What about marriage?”

“No, thank you!” Helen nearly shouted, holding both hands in front of her like a shield.

“You don’t want to get married?”

“I have nothing against marriage,” she lied. The truth was, she had everything against marriage. She had seen far more unhappy unions that happy ones, and she had no desire to throw herself into the pits of misery for the sake of antiquated conventions. She knew all too well what could come of such an arrangement. “You and Dale seem about as happy as any two people I’ve ever known. I’m just not in any position to share my life with anyone.”